You’re here because you want to know the biggest reasons men fall out of love.
Maybe you were blindsided by a breakup – the man you thought would love you forever decided he didn’t want to be with you anymore.
Maybe you feel like your relationship is losing its spark – you don’t know why or how but things feel distant between you and the man you thought would love you forever.
Maybe the man you thought you were in love with just told you that he doesn’t feel that way about you anymore.
more: Why Do Men Pull Away?
Whatever the reason, you have to know why. Why did he break up with you? Why does it feel like he doesn’t love you anymore? What reason is there for a man to fall out of love?
I’m here to answer your questions. Here are the main reasons a man might fall out of love with someone.
The Top Reasons Men Fall Out Of Love
- He feels like he can’t be himself around his partner.
- The interactions in the relationship are more negative than positive.
- The emotional intimacy of the relationship gets lost.
- The sex has slowed down or stopped.
- He’s mistaken love for infatuation.
- He realized you have incompatible life goals.
- He doesn’t feel like you’re on his team.
- He doesn’t feel like you admire him anymore.
- One or both of you stopped putting in effort.
1. He Feels Like He Can’t Be Himself Around His Partner
Great relationships are all about compatibility.
For a relationship to truly be great (and have the dna to last), both partners have to be able to feel like they can be their most authentic, genuine selves around each other.
More than that, both partners have to like each other when they’re being genuine. The man has to like the woman when she’s being her true self, and vice versa.
Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?
If he feels like every time he’s genuine around his partner that she reacts with judgment, or with distaste – it signals to him very strongly that he’s with the wrong woman.
That’s because mutual compatibility is the most important thing in a good relationship. Without it, one or both people feels like they have to walk on eggshells all the time – like they have to act like someone they’re not.
Eventually, that dynamic will sour a relationship and drive both parties apart. If he feels like can’t be himself around her, he’ll stop wanting to be around her, and eventually decide that he doesn’t love her anymore.
2. The Interactions In The Relationship Are More Negative Than Positive
This is something that can build up over time subconsciously, and eventually destroy a relationship from within.
A relationship is great when it feels great to be with the other person. When it starts to feel more negative than positive, a relationship can quickly break down.
That negativity can take the form of “nagging” (in either direction), or just fights that increase in frequency and in anger.
Whatever the reason, if the scale tips towards more negative interactions than positive ones, it can make even the most lovestruck man fall out of love and decide to leave a relationship.
3.The Emotional Intimacy Of The Relationship Gets Lost
This is very similar to the reason above, but it’s not strictly about negativity.
Rather, it’s about two people integrating their lives to the point where they’re running their relationship almost like a business.
Questions about whether chores or mutual errands were taken care of dominate, rather than emotional or physical connection.
If you find that your interactions with him are more businesslike than intimate, more centered around accomplishing unromantic tasks rather than enjoying being with each other – it’s a big sign that the emotional intimacy of your relationship is fading.
Many people see this as the “spark” leaving their relationship or the initial “heat” of the relationship dying down… but it’s important to remember to make room for the emotional intimacy that is at the heart of all successful relationships.
more: Why Didn’t He Text Back?
Otherwise, he might forget why you fell in love in the first place – and fall out of love.
4. The Sex Has Slowed Down Or Stopped
Relationships are all about meeting each other halfway and making sure each other’s needs are being met.
After all, in a relationship you’re supposed to be able to depend on the other person for support, intimacy, and comfort – just like they depend on you.
So although a slowed down love life in a relationship is completely normal and happens to nearly every one – it’s important to keep in touch with your partner’s needs and feelings to make sure they’re still getting what they need from the relationship.
Guys who aren’t getting their needs for intimacy met will have a constant reminder in their heads that they’re unsatisfied. If they feel like that isn’t ever going to change it could make them more and more likely to check out of the relationship and fall out of love.
5. He’s Mistaken Love For Infatuation
One of the most painful reasons why a guy might “fall out of love” is that he realizes he wasn’t really in love with you in the first place.
This is much more likely to be the case in a newer relationship, especially if you’ve been dating under a year.
The passion, intimacy, and fire at the start of a relationship is enough to overwhelm both men and women and make them think that they have deeper feelings than they really do.
Then, as the initial heat of the relationship fades, both partners have to reconcile their expressed feelings about the relationship with their true feelings now that the initial rush has wound down.
Sometimes, a guy will realize that he wasn’t ever really in love – he just thought he was because of the intensity of the initial connection.
6. He Realized You Have Incompatible Life Goals
Maybe he wants kids and you don’t. Maybe you want to live in the country while he wants to live in the city. Maybe he wants a house and a backyard while you’re happy renting.
Whatever the incompatibility – he’s having to face it full on and realizing that things aren’t going to change, and that you’re not going to be able to compromise.
When a person comes up against something like that in a relationship, it’s enough to make them reconsider the entire relationship from the ground up. He might ask himself, “do I love this person enough to give up on something that’s really important to me?”
If the answer is no – it’s enough to make him fall out of love.
7. He Doesn’t Feel Like You’re On His Team
Any great relationship is also a partnership. Both people are pulling for each other to do well.
That’s why it’s so important to have compatible life goals, and have compatible ideas about what direction you’re moving with your lives.
If one partner has a goal or dream that the other partner doesn’t think is realistic, or thinks they can’t succeed at, or otherwise thinks isn’t a good idea – it’s going to undermine the relationship from within.
When someone has a goal or a dream it’s central to their identity. Their life becomes about whether something is moving them towards their dream or away from it.
If he feels like you don’t support him moving towards his goals, he will feel like you’re moving him away from them – which could make him fall out of love with you.
more: Why We Fall Out Of Love
8. He Doesn’t Feel Like You Admire Him Anymore
It’s so important to feel like an attractive, desirable person in a relationship.
Guys especially want to feel like they’re winning at all aspects of their lives. Guys are happiest when they feel that they’re succeeding at work, at play, in relationships, anything.
So if he’s with someone and it doesn’t feel like she admires him, or even likes him all that much, it hurts him down to his core.
It makes him wonder why she’s even with him if it doesn’t seem like she likes him all that much – does she pity him? Can she not find anyone better? Should they even stay together?
A guy who feels like his partner doesn’t like him will feel less and less attracted to her until the love is completely gone from their relationship.
9. One Or Both Of You Stopped Putting In Effort
This is something else that’s normal as a relationship goes along – both partners will “relax” a little bit. Totally normal and unremarkable – and not relationship breaking.
What is relationship breaking is when one partner lets themselves go in a way where they completely stop putting in effort. The things they did to be their best selves no longer apply.
This is something that might make a guy sit up and think, “This isn’t the person I fell in love with anymore.”
And if he feels like there’s no chance of it changing and turning around, it could make him eventually fall out of love.
Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…