Dating can be a fun experience or a nerve-wracking debacle where you find yourself wondering why you even tried to do it in the first place.
When it’s good, it’s good. But when it’s bad… it’s bad.
You might go on date after date only to get discouraged and sad because you can’t seem to find a good match for you. You might go on an amazing date, think you hit it off and then end up with… radio silence.
You might be nervous and unsure about whether you even want to start dating and end up over-analyzing the entire situation. You might go on a date where you hit it off and have sex and then he vanishes leaving you feeling confused.
You might go on a date and find you’re only into the guy sexually but then get confused about whether having sex for the sake of it makes you a “bad” person.
The point is, dating comes with its highs and lows. That’s why I have rounded up what I feel are the best dating tips and relationship advice to keep in mind so that you have a good experience.
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The Best Dating Tips To Change Your LIfe
1. Don’t Try To Change Anyone
Dating a peach hoping he becomes a pear is simply a horrible idea.
Do not date someone thinking you can change them; date because you like them for who they are… right now. Not who they could become.
2. Don’t Just go to “Typical” Places To Meet People
What I mean is do not just go looking to meet people at bars or places where people have to get extremely drunk to speak to each other… you know what I am talking about.
Go somewhere that aligns with some passion in your life. You’re bound to meet someone who you’re more compatible with there.
3. Leave Baggage for the Airport
This means don’t over-share and divulge all your personal details on the first date. Or the second date. Or even the third.
I am not saying be a guarded person forever but what I am saying is to wait until you really get to know someone before spilling your deepest darkest secrets.
Don’t talk too much about your ex, either. And don’t explain how you have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder combined with mild depression. These are just examples, but you catch my drift.
4. Try To Date Someone You Know Through Others
This is a good idea because in a way, the person is “vetted” as possibly being a good match for you. It’s kind of a security blanket, in a way, being set up by friends or even family.
5. Always Have Fun
Even if you do not meet the love of your life, there is nothing wrong with having fun in your dating adventures. Make dating an adventure not a chore. Make dating an experience not a vital necessity that will impact the rest of your life.
So if you’re out with friends and feel like dancing around, do it.
If you’re at a bar, see a guy you like and you think he might be eyeing you but won’t approach you, walk up to him if you feel like it.
Have fun without holding back. Another benefit of having fun is
6. Don’t Put Pressure On Yourself
Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself to “perform” on a date. This includes but is not limited to: feeling pressure to look a certain way, talk a certain way, eat a certain way, behave in a certain way…
Don’t go camping in the wilderness just because you’re afraid to explain that you are not an outdoors type of person…
Don’t be quiet, serious and talk about scholarly books you secretly hate just because you think it will impress a particular guy.
Don’t say you love football because he is super into it.
Don’t say “omg, I love video games!” just because you think he will find you being a girl-gamer hot.
I think you get the point.
7. Beware of People Who Seem Too Good to Be True
If someone seems too good to be true, they probably are.
What I mean is… if the person is everything you always wanted and more, chances are either they are not exactly being authentic or you are suffering from a bad case of “idealization.”
When you idealize a guy you build up this fantasy of who he is, become fixated on making things work with him even though he has nothing in common with the fantasy you have created.
This not only gives you blinders and makes you ignore other guys but makes it so that you end up disappointed if things do not work out.
8. Always Give Yourself “Reality Checks”
What this means is don’t demonize or idealize people you date; rather than go to an extreme, try to actually objectively assess the reality of who they are and who they are not.
So rather than say the guy who did not call back after a first date is a “sociopathic narcissist” think more in line with the idea that he is “simply not that interested but is not some kind of evil person.”
Being able to objectively assess people with a realistic lens is going to bring you the most dating success. Being quick to demonize someone makes you have a negative view of people you are dating.
This negative view creates internalized assumptions. These assumptions impact your mood. Your mood impacts your vibe, which is the #1 determining factor when it comes to whether you come off as attractive or not.
Just remember that you should not assume the worst about people; simply assume the best and do not turn men into an “enemy” in your mind.
9. Be Sure to Put Your Best Foot Forward First
This is perhaps an obvious one but worth mentioning. “First impressions” do matter because if you do not try to look your best and put your best foot forward in the beginning, then when will you? You should be your best self first and try not to speculate on the future.
10. Don’t Be Fake
Even though you should put your best foot forward, being fake and blatantly lying about who you are will backfire.
What is going to happen if the relationship progresses? He will find out that you are not who you said you were and things will end up not working out.
11. Don’t Take Rejection Personally
If you are rejected, so be it. It is not because you aren’t worthy. It’s simply because he was not feeling it for whatever reason. Nothing to do with you being bad or unattractive or whatever you might think.
There you go! Here are the best dating tips consolidated for you. I will add more if I think of important ones.
Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…