It’s time. You want to know how serious he is about you.
Maybe the relationship has been going really well, but you’re worried about getting too committed before you find out how he feels about you.
Maybe you’ve been dating him for a while, and it’s getting close to “put up or shut up” time.
Or maybe you just have to know, one way or the other.
Whatever the reason, right now it’s time to find out whether he’s serious about you.
And I’m here to help.
This article will give you the biggest signs a guy isn’t serious about you – so you can figure out fast whether he’s got potential or you might be wasting your time.
Ready? Let’s start.
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Going To Commit?
11 Huge Signs He’s Not Serious About You
- He flakes on you all the time.
- He doesn’t let himself be open around you.
- He doesn’t want you to meet his friends or family.
- You don’t feel comfortable around each other.
- He doesn’t make time for you.
- He’s not curious about who you are.
- You never make future plans together.
- Your gut is telling you he’s not.
- He doesn’t want to call you his girlfriend.
- He doesn’t trust you (or vice versa).
- He says he doesn’t want anything serious.
1. He Flakes On You All The Time
When a guy is serious about you, it means you’re important to him. He’s going to follow through with what he said he was going to do.
Why? Well, when a guy is serious about a woman, he’s obviously hoping that she feels the same way about him.
He knows that if he treats her like she’s unimportant or flakes on her a lot, she’s going to give up on him and move on. So he makes it his priority to follow through with her.
If he’s flaking on you all the time or cancelling at the last minute, it means he’s not overly concerned about your feelings… which is a big sign he’s not that serious about you.
2. He Doesn’t Let Himself Be Open Around You
Being really open around someone else requires trust. It means that you trust them not to reject you when you’re at your most vulnerable.
In any good relationship, both partners are comfortable being open around each other – because they trust each other. But being open with someone new can be scary.
If he’s never open around you – if he’s always wearing a “mask” or never really lets himself be vulnerable, it means that he’s either too nervous to be open around you, or he doesn’t think it’s worth it.
Obviously, if you’re at the very beginning of your relationship this isn’t as big a deal, but if you’ve been together long enough that you should start opening up by now and he hasn’t, it’s a sign that he’s not all that serious.
3. He Doesn’t Want You To Meet His Friends Or Family
When two people are in a close relationship, they’re not just dating each other. They’re also sharing their lives together.
And that means sharing the people that are close to you.
It’s a classic step in any relationship to meet your significant other’s friends, and eventually, family. Those are the people who he thinks most highly of, and they’re the people whose opinions he most respects.
If he’s serious about you, he’s going to want you to meet his friends and family, not only to show them who he’s dating, but also so that you can see that side of him and grow closer as a couple.
If he keeps you away from his friends and family… it’s a sign that he doesn’t really want the relationship to progress any further.
4. You Don’t Feel Comfortable Around Each Other
Good relationships are all about intimacy. And intimacy can only grow when two people trust each other enough to be truly vulnerable around each other.
If it doesn’t feel comfortable to be with him, or he doesn’t seem comfortable when he’s with you, that’s a huge obstacle to a deepening relationship and to intimacy forming between you.
Great, lasting relationships only happen when you can truly be yourself around someone else and they can be themselves around you, without any fear of rejection.
If it’s not comfortable being together, it’s a sign that you might not be compatible with each other – which is a big sign that things aren’t going to get serious.
5. He Doesn’t Make Time For You
I talked about this a little bit earlier, but it bears repeating: if a guy is really serious about you, then you become important to him.
You become one of his priorities.
That’s not to say that he’s going to drop everything and spend 100% of his time with you – it just means that he’s going to treat you as important and make an effort to spend time with you and balance his life with a commitment to you in it.
So if he’s always busy, or he’s never really got time to be with you, it’s a big sign that he’s not treating you as an important part of his life – because he’s not serious about you.
6. He’s Not Curious About Who You Are
If he’s really feeling like things could get serious and he’s serious about you, he’s going to want to know everything he can find out about who you really are.
Why? Because if he really sees a potential future with you, he wants to know what that future is going to hold!
He’s going to be really interested in what makes you tick, in who you are underneath the mask, in who you really are as a person, so that he can figure out how far he can see things going between you.
If he doesn’t even have the curiosity to find out anything about you while you’re dating, it means that’s not that important to him… which again is a huge sign that he’s not serious about you.
7. You Never Make Future Plans Together
These don’t necessarily have to be huge plans like the future of the relationship or anything like that.
For this example, it can be as simple as a birthday party invite a month in advance, or something like that.
A guy who never wants to make plans in the future with you and only hangs out on a daily basis is a guy who’s not that serious about the relationship.
So if all your dates and hangouts start from a text and happen that night… if you never plan to do anything a week or a month in advance, it probably means that he’s not that serious about you.
8. Your Gut Is Telling You He’s Not
Your instincts are going to be your best guide in your love life. When your heart is screaming at you trying to get you to believe something, your gut is going to be a far better guide as to whether it’s true.
You’re here because you’re looking for signs to confirm whatever you’re hoping is true. Maybe you’re really hoping he is serious about you, and you want to find signs that support that belief.
But take the time to ask yourself whether you really believe he’s serious, and answer yourself honestly.
The immediate feeling in your gut will give you a better answer than hours of rationalizing or agonizing over it will.
9. He Doesn’t Want To Call You His Girlfriend
This one is pretty obvious. If he doesn’t want to call you his girlfriend or put labels on the relationship, it’s a pretty big sign he’s not that serious.
Guys want to avoid labels when they’re not that into a relationship and want to keep the status quo. As soon as they feel a push for some sort of relationship label, an uninterested guy will try to shut it down as fast as possible.
Why? Because he likes things exactly as they are, and doesn’t want them to progress any further… because he’s not all that serious about the relationship in the first place.
10. He Doesn’t Trust You (Or Vice Versa)
At the end of the day, the most important aspect in any relationship is trust.
You have to have trust in each other in order to be vulnerable and open, to have trust to be faithful to each other, and to have trust to be nurturing and respectful of each other.
Without trust, none of the intimacy and closeness of a good relationship can grow.
So you know, in your gut, whether you trust him, and you can feel whether he trusts you. It’s simple to tell if there’s trust in a relationship when you’re honest with yourself – there either is or there isn’t.
Obviously, trust takes time to grow, so don’t freak out if you’ve just started dating and don’t deeply trust each other yet. But if you’ve been dating for a while, and there still isn’t any real trust between you… unfortunately it’s a big sign he’s not serious about the relationship.
11. He Says He Doesn’t Want Anything Serious
It seems like this should be an obvious sign, but it’s not.
Lots of guys will tell a woman that they don’t want anything serious, but then attach an excuse to it.
“I don’t want anything serious, right now.”
“I don’t want anything serious, while I’m looking for work.”
“I don’t want anything serious, because I’m not over my ex yet.”
The problem is that when a guy does that, lots of women hear the excuse part, but completely ignore the “I don’t want anything serious” part – when that in fact is the most important thing the guy said.
more: Signs He’s Not For Real
If he said he doesn’t want anything serious, the excuse he gave as to why doesn’t matter. The excuse is to try to make you feel better about the first half of the sentence, which is the important part.
No matter what his excuse is, if he tells you he doesn’t want anything serious, you should believe him. Even if the excuse goes away, his reluctance to get in a serious relationship with you almost certainly won’t.
Want to find out if he’s going to commit? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really going to commit…