This article is designed to do one thing: answer the question “How do men show their love?”
By the end of this article, you’ll be able to see the love that he is (or isn’t) showing you much more clearly, and have a much better idea of whether he truly loves you or not.
Usually, when a woman is trying to figure out how men show their love (and by extension, whether the man she’s with actually loves her), she falls into one of these situations:
Which Of These Situations Are You In?
Maybe you’re in a relationship and your boyfriend hasn’t said that he loves you yet, and you’re waiting for him to finally say it.
Maybe he has said “I love you”… but you’re not sure whether it’s true love, or whether you can even believe him at all.
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Does He Love You?
Maybe he’s said it, but his actions don’t stand up to what you think love should look like from a man.
Maybe when you wonder about whether he loves you get a sinking, awful feeling in your stomach.
I’m going to address these one at a time and help you through it.
If You’re Waiting For Him To Say “I Love You”…
There’s a key understanding here to discover about guys.
If you’re waiting for him to say ‘I love you’ (and it seems like he probably should have said it already…)
…the reality is that men tend to show love through actions, not words.
And it’s actually for a different reason than you might think.
From childhood, guys are raised with the message, “Your word is your bond.”
Ask a guy about whether he’d break a promise and you’ll probably get a sharp look and a quick answer: “No, I’d never break a promise.”
That’s because guys are raised to think that spoken promises carry weight – and that he’s not a man if he can’t keep his promises.
So what does this have to do with him saying the words “I love you”? Everything.
To a guy, the words “I love you” might feel like a big promise – one that he’s not necessarily comfortable making.
To him, those three words might represent a promise that means “I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you.”
And I can tell you that to a lot of guys, saying “I love you” means feeling fully committed and locked into the relationship. It’s a level of devotion and commitment that makes a lot of guys uncomfortable.
So if it feels like he’s in love with you already – if it feels like he does loving things for you, and is always there for you, and generally acts like he’s in love with you… but he hasn’t said it yet…
Then it might be because actually saying it feels like more of a commitment than just “living” it.
That’s how you get a situation where a guy is in love for a long time before he says anything.
If You Get A Sinking Feeling In Your Stomach When You Wonder Whether He Loves You…
Then it’s time that you have to be really, really honest with yourself.
If he loves you, the #1 thing to remember is that it’s going to feel like he loves you.
You’re not going to get a bad feeling in your stomach when you think about a future together. You’ll feel excited instead.
The point is – his love will be obvious.
So if you think about that question and you get a horrible sinking feeling in your stomach… then you probably have your answer.
The truth is, good relationships aren’t supposed to be hard. They’re not supposed to feel like an uphill battle every day just being with each other.
Good relationships are supposed to feel… well… good! Being with someone who you’re compatible with feels effortless – it doesn’t feel like a struggle to be together.
So if you’re always feeling like you have to “fight for your relationship” – then that’s a big sign that something is wrong (and that you’re probably not compatible with each other.)
On this issue, listen to your instincts. If your stomach is telling you that he doesn’t love you, then what your stomach is saying is probably true.
If His Actions Don’t Stand Up To What You Think Love Should Look Like
This answer is a little more involved, so I want to really get deep here and give you a clearer understanding.
There’s an important realization to this answer that can bring a lot of your love life into focus.
Here’s How Men Show Their Love
People show love the same way they like to receive love. That’s important, so I’m going to say it again: People show love the same way they like to receive love. What does that mean? It means that people like to give and receive love in different ways. Dr. Gary Chapman did an excellent job of illustrating that point in his book, The 5 Love Languages. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are 5 general ways that people show love in the world.
People show love through giving their time – through spending loving time with the person they love.
People show love through gifts – through giving thoughtful, heartfelt gifts to the person they love.
People show love through favors – through doing thoughtful, helpful favors for the person they love.
People show love through words – through saying kind, loving, nurturing words to the person they love.
People show love through touch – through loving, kind, encouraging touch with the person they love.
There’s an extremely important lesson here – if people show love the same way they like to receive love, that means that he might not be recognizing love in the ways that you’re trying to show him that you love him.
And, just as important:
You might not be recognizing the ways that he’s trying to show you that he loves you.
If your styles of showing each other love are different, you might not recognize the ways that your partner is showing you love – the same way that he might not recognize the ways that you’re showing him love!
It’s important not only to realize which style of love resonates most with your partner, but also to realize which style of love resonates most with you.
If you show love through tender, thoughtful words, that means that you’re probably expecting him to show his love for you with his words.
But if he shows love by giving thoughtful, heartfelt gifts, you’re not necessarily going to recognize that he’s showing you love!
And what’s more – he’s not going to necessarily recognize that you’re showing him love!
The best thing you can do is broaden your understanding of the different ways that he might be showing you his love.
When you realize that, you might see lots of things he’s doing that he thinks are showing love to you – but that you’ve been missing the whole time.
And when you realize that, you might realize that he might not be receiving your love in the same way you think you’re sending it!
The most effective thing you can do is recognize your partner’s style of love and show him love in the way that he expresses it – so he can recognize it and feel it much more strongly.
Remember, people show love in the same way they like to receive it.
If you show him love the way he likes to show it to you, he will feel much more loved in your relationship.
And if you understand he shows love differently than you do, you can begin to notice more and more ways that he’s showing you his love every day.
You can also have a conversation about it with him and let him know the ways that he can show his love that mean the most to you.
When this realization hits home, you’ll find that your relationship has a lot more love in it than you first thought.
It’s a wonderful feeling.