Oh, texting. What a lovely, convenient yet potentially horrible way to try to get your ex back. Texting can be an extremely powerful way to make your ex miss you, remind him of how good your relationship was and make him want to get back together.
In this article, I am going to give you the specific types of texts to use (and the specific kinds of emotions these texts create in your ex).
Before I go into the types of texts to use when texting your ex to get him back, though, I must first describe one of the most common (and fatal) mistakes both women and men make when it comes to texting their ex (and texting anyone they like in general).
So the mistake is… a constant barrage of texting.
I am talking about the kind of texting where you do something like this…
You know the kind of sequence I am talking about.
This might be an extreme example, but you get the idea.
Now, I am not trying to say that it makes you (or anyone who does this) a bad person because they get caught up in this kind of texting frenzy. Not at all. It is self-sabotaging, because it makes the person never want to text you back.
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It is a natural, human reaction to do this (which is why the “no contact” rule i am going to discuss next is so necessary).
So, now that you know what you should not do (ever, no matter how tempted you are to do this… and if you have already done this, stop now).
No Contact Is Necessary
What you should do is…do “no contact” for four weeks. At least four weeks.
Why? When you do this, it gives you the best shot of putting yourself in a position where you can ultimately use texts to get your ex back. If you do not follow the no contact rule, the rest of this advice has a low chance of working…
Yes, the no contact rule is that important.
It is necessary because it gives you time to gather your thoughts.
It also gives him the space to miss you. If you constantly contact him, he can’t miss you.
Rather than miss you, he will feel bombarded by an endless stream of texts. Trust me, I understand the impulse (and am even guilty of doing it myself) but you need to make a concerted effort to not contact him.
Rather than him feel a sense of satisfaction that you are clearly still interested in him, by doing this, you “turn the tables,” putting yourself in a position of power in a sense. The reason is because he will be confused about why you aren’t constantly texting him.
Plus when you do this, you eliminate all worry you would have when you end up in one of the most common traps women end up in…
Texting a guy and getting no response. The act of texting and getting no response is much worse than simply not texting in the first place. There is nothing worse than putting that text out there only to wonder when and if he will respond.
ok so …
You have followed the no-contact rule, what comes next?
There are specific categories when it comes to the type of texts you need to send in order to make your ex want to get back together.
First Impression Text /Intrigue Generator
So you’ve maintained no contact for a good enough time, right? Good. This is key (I know I keep repeating myself, but trust me, this is so important it is worth repeating a million times to make sure it happens!).
When you do text him for the first time, the key is to say something intriguing and interesting. What I mean is, do not send a text saying, “Hey. How r u.”
The key is to make it happy, alive and fresh. When you show him you are doing something fun and feel happy, he will feel a positive vibe from your text. All men love a woman who gives off a happy, fun vibe. This will make him want to text you.
Nostalgia is an extremely powerful emotion. You know how when a song comes on that reminds you of the past, it can make a mountain of emotion well up in your throat? Well, think of the nostalgia text in this context.
When you use the nostalgia text, you invoke powerful emotions in him that remind him of the best parts of the relationship. You were obviously together for a reason, right?
So reminding him of those highlights of your time together is a powerful way to make him miss you and think about the good times you spend together.
The best type of text to use in this case is something very specific between the two of you, something unique and off the wall that only you guys would understand. It creates a sense of unity and shared understanding.
A lot of people say trying to make your ex jealous is an effective strategy. To be honest, this is an extremely tricky, dangerous one. But I am going to mention it because it is something a lot of people discuss. In certain situations, it can be extremely effective. In other situations, though, it can be a total trainwreck and lead to a complete disaster.
Here is the psychology behind it.
If you were in a relationship with someone, you get used to the person. You might even get bored of them sexually or in terms of how attracted you feel to them.
What happens, though, when you see that the person you got bored of is intensely desired by someone else? What happens is a burning attraction can be created if you do this the right way and in the right circumstance.
To some men, it is attractive (in an angry, furious sort of way) to know that someone else desires the woman you were with. It’s a primal, instinctual feeling.
However, if the man you are dealing with is an insecure type or an extremely emotional, jealous type… do not use any kind of jealousy when dealing with him.
I repeat: this will only create more problems if you try to make someone jealous if they are the wrong “type” to make jealous.
Another thing to keep in mind is… you can only do this text after you have already been texting him in a pleasant way where you have built up some kind of mutual rapport.
So here is an example of a “jealousy” text.
The issue here is this could end up being an extremely obvious attempt to make him jealous. So you might want to consider doing something less obvious.
If you want to take the risk though, you can go for it.
So this is the last type of “text” to use when it comes to your ex. What I mean by this is… if a certain kind of rapport of mutually exciting conversation develops, simply go with the vibe and let things unfold as they may.
That is the best way to think of it: if something happens naturally and organically that feels good for both of you, keep going with it. This is actually the best kind of “texting” to engage in, because it builds the foundation for a solid, healthy new relationship.
Whatever happens, at the end of the day, know this: even if nothing works, I promise, you will be ok. You have to know this, to truly believe this and live by this principle. This gives you the best shot of getting your ex back (when you really believe that you will be ok in your life whether or not you get him back).
It gives off a positive vibe that makes him more likely to want to be with you.
Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…
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How To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back With Text Messages
- First, remember to do the no contact rule no matter what
- When you text him first send him something intriguing and interesting
- Harness the power of nostalgia to get him thinking about you again
- Make him envious by talking about something going on in your love life
- Go with the vibe and let things unfold naturally