So you want to find out whether he really truly loves you or not. Maybe he hasn’t said “I love you” yet, and you’re wondering if he ever will. Maybe he’s said it, but it doesn’t sound convincing and you’re not sure if he’s telling the truth or just stringing you along. Maybe you just want to find out where you stand.
Whatever the reason, there are a few ways to find out how he truly feels about you and whether he truly loves you or not. You’re going to want to pay attention to what he says, what he does, and how he acts when they’re around you.
After all, we’re talking about finding out whether he loves you, not just finding out whether he likes you.
Below, you’ll find the exact things to look for in those 3 situations to find out whether he loves you. Ready?
1. Pay Attention To What He Says
When you’re trying to figure out whether he loves you or not, it’s important to recognize what the things he says (1) mean about the way he feels about you.
For instance, does he talk about you two having a future together – and make it seem like it’s a given? If he’s treating your future together as a done deal, it’s safe to say that he’s already decided he wants to spend his life with you, the person he loves.
Big clues include him talking about what your lives will be like 1, 5, or 10 years into the future, what your children might look like, where he wants to retire with you, what your honeymoon will be like, etc. Does he think you’re going to be together forever?
Think carefully and pay attention to the compliments he gives you(2). Are they regular, ordinary, “you look nice in that dress” compliments? Or are they meaningful compliments that imply something deeper?
There’s a big difference between “I like your new haircut” and “you always know what to say to make me smile.” If he’s giving you compliments that are about specific parts of your personality that he loves, then he’s probably in love with the whole thing.
Remember, this is about quality, not quantity. One soul felt, heart melting compliment is better than 50 lazy ones.
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If he’s said “I love you”, you need to pay attention to how he says it – that’s going to reveal how he truly feels.
If he tosses a careless, “love youuuuuuuu” over his shoulder as he walks out the door, it’s a lot different than him looking you carefully in the eyes and telling you that he loves you.
Guys who are truly in love will tell their partners they love them without any occasion – just because they felt like saying it.
When you two have conversations, does he keep the talk light and on the surface? Or do you guys talk about deeper, more intense stuff?
If he’s willing to share secrets with you – especially the deep dark stuff he wouldn’t tell anyone else, that means that he trusts you. And since trust is the foundation for love, it’s a pretty good shot that he loves you too.
How much does he miss you when you’re apart? An easy way to figure this out is to see how often he texts or calls you while you’re not together(3).
Are you the one who has to text and call him in order to stay in touch? Or is he sending you little texts and reminders that he’s thinking about you? If it’s the latter, you’re in good shape.
One often overlooked way of finding out whether he loves you – how does he respond when you make a mistake?
If he’s not comfortable pointing it out, that means he’s probably got an idealized picture of you in his head – which means he’s not in love with you for who you truly are.
However, if he’s comfortable pointing out when you make a mistake or did something wrong, it means he knows who you truly are – and he’s willing and happy to accept when you make a mistake.
How does he treat your opinion? Does he ask for it, but then ignore it when you give it to him? Does he never ask for it in the first place? Neither of those bode well.
However, if he asks for your opinion, and then shows that he truly listened and he’s truly following it – that’s a great sign that he loves you. Loved ones value each other’s opinions, and ask for advice about anything they’re struggling with, whether it’s something big or something small.
2. Pay Careful Attention To What He Does
Just as important as paying attention to what he says is paying attention to what he does. For instance – does he listen to you? More importantly, does he listen to whatever you say?
If he’s truly in love with you, it means that he’s willing to listen to anything you say – even if he’s already heard that story a million times. He’ll truly listen to you instead of just nodding and saying “mhmm,” and he’ll remember the things you say later.
Does he put in an effort to be there for you? A lot of people are “friends of convenience”, who will only help you when it’s convenient for them.
However, if he’s always willing to be there for you, even when it’s not convenient for him, it means that he cares about making you happy, and he cares about being there for you.
Remember, this is about whether he drives you to the train station at 6am, not whether he’s willing to grab a drink on a Thursday night. If he loves to hang out with you when you’re in a good mood, but disappears as soon as you get upset or unhappy – that’s definitely not the behavior of someone in love with you.
Know what people in love do for each other? They do nice things – just to make each other happy. He’ll be willing to get you your favorite food when you’re feeling down, or take care of you when you’re sick, or just do what it takes to make you smile if he’s in love with you.
Another great sign – if he does nice things to make your life easier… without you having to ask him. If he does it on his own, just to make you happy, it’s a great sign.
Someone who’s in love with you will want to be around you – like all the time. It means that he wants to be around you even if it would take a ton of effort to do it.
Guys who are in love make a special effort to be around the person they love all the time, even when it seems impractical. He doesn’t have to be there every second of every day, he just has to make a special effort to see you.
Does he know whether to give you space or not?
Even in the most loving relationship, sometimes you need a break from each other.
If he’s really in love with you, it means he wants to be around you – but he also knows when it’s time to spend some time apart.
If he can’t stand not being with you, and wants to be with you 24/7, that’s not a sign of love – it’s a sign that he’s immature and insecure. That’s all about infatuation, not love. True love means recognizing that you’re two individuals who need space to maintain your individuality.
Truly loving someone means understanding them. Your man should really “get” who you are at your core if he’s in love with you. After all, being in love means knowing someone for who they truly are and accepting that person.
He doesn’t have to know every single thing about you – in fact it’s good if there are parts of you that are still mysterious. However, he should get who you truly are, at the center of your being.
Someone who’s in love with you is going to want what’s best for you – regardless if that’s what’s best for him. He should be willing to support you when you follow your dreams, even if that means spending less time with you.
True love means recognizing when someone is doing something to improve their life, and supporting it, even if it means time apart. Sometimes, you have to do what’s best for you, and he should support that.
Love means supporting the other person, through thick and thin. If you’re having a hard time in your life, does he disappear until things get better and you get in a better mood? Or does he stick by your side and support you.
Think back to the last time you went through something really tough. Was he there for you? Or did he disappear into the background until everything blew over?
When you answer that question, you’ll know a lot more about whether he loves you or not.
3. Pay Attention To How He Acts Around You
One of the biggest signs that someone is in love with you is how he acts around you – specifically whether he’s being genuine or he’s pretending that he’s someone he’s not.
A guy who is truly in love with you will act totally natural around you – because he knows that you accept him for who he truly is and he loves being that person with you. He’s willing to show you a side of himself he doesn’t show to many people.
Does seeing you brighten up his day and make him happy – even if he’s had an awful day? A guy who’s in love will still be happy to see the woman he loves – even if he’s having a terrible, awful day.
Test this out by waiting for him to have a terrible, grumpy, bad day, and then see how he reacts when he sees you that day. Does he light up? Then chances are he’s in love.
One of the main components of being in love with someone is a heady rush of euphoria. Even being around the person can bring out this giddy, amazing feeling – it’s one of the best parts of being in love.
Does he all of a sudden get giddy around you, like he just can’t contain himself? Does he seem way more excited, lit up, animated, and giggly when he’s around you? Yup – love.
One of the ways that we support the people we love is that we stand in their corner and stick by their side. If he gets upset when you’re upset – and is upset on your behalf, it means that he really cares about how you’re doing, and he wants to make sure you’re happy.
He’ll want to mirror your emotions and empathize with you, so that he can help you with whatever’s bothering you and work towards being happy again. That’s true love.
Want to find out if he really loves you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Really Love You” Quiz right now and find out if he REALLY loves you…
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How To Know If Someone Truly Loves You
- Pay attention to what he says to you and how he talks about the future with you.
- If he’s said “I love you”, pay attention to whether he’s being careless or genuine
- Think about whether he puts in the effort to be there for you when you need it
- Ask yourself whether he does nice things for you out of kindness and generosity or not
- Ask yourself whether it feels easy to be around him or difficult
- Think about whether it feels good to be around each other or whether it feels like a struggle