Signs You're Not Over Your Ex

These 8 Signs Mean You’re Not Over Your Ex

I get how impossible it is to get over your ex-boyfriend.

It’s really hard to get over an ex.

Well, it depends on the kind of ex. If you dumped him because you dated for 2 weeks and didn’t like him, then no, it’s probably not that hard.

But if it was a more serious commitment (something you thought was going to last into the future) it’s obviously a lot harder.

That’s why a lot of the time, we can think we’re over an ex when we’re really not.

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can get your ex back or if he’s gone for good…

Check out this list of signs you’re not over your ex, and find out if you’re really over him, or not…

1. You Catch Yourself Almost Texting Him

For a lot of women, deleting his number from your phone is the best option. But you might know it by heart. Which kind of defeats the entire purpose.

I mean really, how many times have you written out a long, heartfelt message – only to think about it later and decide to delete it?

Or even worse… in a moment of irrationality, send it to him?

If you’re still thinking about him enough to where you’re writing out messages to him and it sends jolts of excitement through you, it means you’re not over him.

You’ll get over him – with time, but for the moment, you need to focus on yourself.

Related: 6 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Try To “Stay Friends” With Your Ex

2. You Want Him To See You

If you’re showing up at places on purpose because you know he’ll be there, that’s a huge sign you’re not over him.

MORE: Thinking About Getting Back Together With Your Ex? 10 Things to Consider First

Even if you go to a party you know he’ll be at with another guy to try to make him jealous, all you’re going to do is wind up making yourself sad when you see him feeling happy.

The only way to get over this temptation is to keep yourself busy in your own life and don’t try to be where he is or be seen by him.

Otherwise, you’re just drawing out the breakup and taking longer and longer to get over him.

Need more help? Here’s how to get over any breakup.

3. You Check His Facebook

This is a big one.

De-friend him. Block him if you have to.

Delete his facebook from your account.

Do whatever you need to do to stop yourself from looking at his account.

Because otherwise, you’re going to be obsessing over his statuses looking for clues about how he feels. This is going to end up driving you completely insane. You’re going to be looking at pictures of him and wondering if he met someone new (or worse, seeing her in a picture).

Seeing him moving onto another girl is unnecessarily heartbreaking to deal with. I mean, what’s the point of knowing?

all you are going to be doing is trapping yourself further and further into the past, and becoming more and more unable to let go.

So nip this in the bud, make sure to avoid his facebook, and delete it if you have to in order to get rid of the temptation.

That’s the only way to really make sure that you’ve gotten over him.

More: How To French Kiss

4. You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Memories With Him

So you hear a song on the radio that reminds you of him and tears well up in your eyes.

Or you caught yourself looking at a picture of the two of you and now you can’t stop thinking about your memories with him.

Or you’re at a place that reminds you of him and it breaks your heart in half.

MORE: Ask a Guy: He Broke Up With Me and Hates That I’m Moving On

It seems like everything triggers a random memory to a time you two had fun together.

And it’s holding you back, dragging you down and making you sad.

Memories and nostalgia are good things but getting lost in them can kill you. If you’re still thinking about the good times with him and getting emotional about it, you’re not over him.

5. You Talk About Him All The Time

So immediately post breakup, of course you have to talk about him. Everyone goes through a mourning period after a breakup where they’re trying to get over him but they can’t stop thinking about the relationship.

And that’s fine. It’s totally normal.

But if a few weeks or a couple months have gone by and you’re still talking about him – to your friends, to other guys, to your family – it means you’re not over him.

It means you can’t get him out of your head. And it means you have to focus on letting him go.

The more you talk about him, the more you’re thinking about him and thinking about kissing him, the more you’re clinging to the memory of the relationship. Let it go.

6. You Compare Every Guy You Meet To Him

Breakups are horrible. They suck for both parties and I wouldn’t want even my worst enemy to have to go through a terrible, truly heart-wrenching one.

(Well, if she cheated with my boyfriend, maybe I would.)

But when a girl isn’t over her breakup, a lot of the time she’ll get approached by guys who are even better than her ex was – but she can’t stop herself from comparing them to her ex. It’s like she’s looking for these qualities in him she’s built up in her head.

It’s common to even idealize your ex and remember the good, while conveniently forgetting the bad.

She’ll get sad that the new guy isn’t like her ex (even though it was probably a good thing that she and her ex broke up), and it will prevent her from finding a new relationship and moving on.

There’s probably a very good reason why you and your ex broke up, and comparing every new guy to him isn’t going to help you find a new one.

7. You Look At Pictures Of The Two Of You

Pictures of you with your ex are nothing but a temptation.

They make you think about him, they make you talk about him, and they make you unable to let him go.

Think about deleting the pictures – or at least locking them away somewhere where you can’t look at them.

Every time you look at a picture of him, you’re delaying the moment when you can let him go… and you’re triggering a flood of new emotions for him that are only going to stand in your way.

8. When You See Him It Feels Good

This one is a big uh oh.

Imagine a scenario in which you unexpectedly run into him, or think of what would happen if he was right in front of you right now.

Does your heart start pounding? Does it feel good?

Does it make you feel… happy?

If it does, you probably still want his attention, and you’re probably not over him.

Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

In summary…

These Are The Signs You’re Not Over Your Ex

  1. You catch yourself almost texting him
  2. You want him to see you
  3. You check his facebook
  4. You can’t stop thinking about your memories with him
  5. You talk about him all the time
  6. You compare every guy you meet to him
  7. You look at pictures of the two of you
  8. When you see him it feels good

signs you’re not over your ex

65 comments… add one
  • S.D. December 26, 2017, 3:53 pm

    My ex left me on Christmas Eve. Yes two days ago. No warning, just packed his things and never gave me an explanation as to why. What hurts the most is that I have been his only support system since he has been back in our town, and he chose the day before Christmas to tear my heart out yet again. He has professed his love to me so many times and turns around and leaves. This is not the first time he has done this, and yes I know I should have ended this vicious cycle long ago. This has been an ongoing thing since January of 2016. We have been off and on since August of 2014. We both love each other, and we have both admitted it to each other. It feels like he is reopening the wound every single time he leaves and I don’t stop it. I know what I could do to stop this, but when you love someone, and I mean TRULY and DEEPLY its hard to break that connection. I have never cheated and neither has he. He has been hurt in the past and so have I, but to me it seems like I am paying for his past relationships. I treat him well and prove how much I love him regularly. It seems to me that since he can’t find much wrong with me he will make it up. He literally told me that I was sleeping with someone else when I am going to work. Or even when I am with him all day. Whenever I leave a room he is in, he will follow me into the room I go into and watch me like a hawk. Even after ALL of the obviously insecure and sometimes really crazy stuff he does to me, I still love him. There is a good person deep inside him, and he has shown me many times over. We have had some wonderful times as well as horrible times. As many times as he has left and I mean MANY I still love that man with my everything. What is wrong with me?

  • Florence December 7, 2017, 6:20 pm

    Well,i’ve dated my ex for a year plus and we were about celebrating the second year anniversary when he told he needed a breakup. I cry all night,stalk him on social media,and when I messaged him,he said I was disturbing him.
    Its being 2months since he left and I decided to block him but cried alot after doing that. Its hard to get over him

  • Ariel May 29, 2017, 5:08 am

    Honestly, before I read the article, or even read the title, deep down I still know I haven’t gotten over him. The funny thing is, I dated this guy for only 2 months. Only two months should be easy to move on, people said. But I’ve been a month broke up with him, and still not over him. He broke up with me because he feels like “he has not ready to be in a relationship and need to sort his life”. After the broke up, I often cried a lot through phone or in front of my friends. My chat to him was flatly ignored, and I haven’t sent him any messages after that.

    I didn’t cry anymore after a week crying and weeping over the break up, but I feel like there is this kind of “hole” in my chest. I feel like I lost something and will never get it back. What I look from a man, a boyfriend–all of them I found it in him. We just started, but then it was gone just like that. I lost my partner, but also my friend whom I can talk to about lot of things. With that, of course I miss him from time to time.

    Anyway, thank you for your suggestions you put up in your article. Honestly, I even unistalled the facebook app from my phone, since we have a lot of mutual friends (he was my co-worker in my previous company before I resign), and of course even if I unfriend him, I still saw him from our friends’ timeline. I just tempted to message him something random before I read your article, but it seems I have to hold myself.

    By the way, do you think it’s really weird for me to not get over him yet? We only dated for 2 months, and after a month breaking up, I still missed him from time to time, even if I have keep myself busy with my work and hobby.

  • T. K. F. December 9, 2016, 10:57 pm

    My situation is a bit different tbh. I have a lover, we would go deep with our feelings our intimacy was special. Our moments were special. When we laughed it was real . My situation is a bit different tbh. I have a lover, we would go deep with our feelings our intimacy was special. Our moments were special. When we laughed it was real and genuine. We loved each others company, still do tbh. I feel he completes me but i broke it off in a really short time b i was scared. We had something so serious at a young age. Then i started talking to another boy who i didn’t love at all, he was like an escape from my true feelings. I denied my love for my ex so many times but i knew they were strong. I was so scared, he was so different, i couldn’t believe i met someone like him. Hes my best friend still, but he insist he has no feelings anymore when i told him my true feelings. I don’t blame him, but now when another girl is spoken about i feel like crying and my self esteem is so low.We loved each others company, still do tbh. I feel he completes me but i broke it off in a really short time b i was scared. We had something so serious at a young age. Then i started talking to another boy who i didn’t love at all, he was like an escape from my true feelings. I denied my love for my ex so many times but i knew they were strong. I was so scared, he was so different, i couldn’t believe i met someone like him. Hes my best friend still, but he insist he has no feelings anymore when i told him my true feelings. I don’t blame him, but now when another girl is spoken about i feel like crying and my self esteem is so low.

  • SomeoneinDC November 15, 2016, 1:06 am

    It was hard. I broke up with my ex ex three years ago and we had a lot of perfect memories. It was heart broken. I cried on the metro, at work, grocery store, everywhere. Never had experienced that before. I thought I loved people before him but this one was just too much. I used a long long time to forget him. Dated three guys. Two of them became boyfriends. I really liked them, but my heart didn’t hurt at all after I broke up with them. Then I would think of him. I’m a very rational person, but sometimes I was surprised how sentimental I could be because of him. A friend told me that she saw him today. I was okay at first. Then I listened to some music and thought about him and I started crying again. I can still feel the pain, although he’s the one three years ago. It might be a disease. I don’t know. I know that even if he is in front of me now, I may not like him as I used to, as me and him are both different now, but I’m always wondering if he’s the reason I can’t love other people that deeply. I don’t know how to solve this problem. Maybe meet someone I would love more? This is so hard…

    • J March 9, 2018, 10:47 am

      this is sad. I can relate. How are you now?

  • Jennifer October 15, 2016, 6:23 pm

    My bf/long time fiancé(11yrs) and my disabled child’s father, walked out on us with no explaination 5 yrs ago. He Went to live with my neighbors daughter (that I didn’t know, and didn’t know he even knew her)4000 miles away. The past couple years (they moved 6 hrs from us) he’s around working on her fathers/my neighbor house a lot! She doesn’t come. He is so very nice and fixes stuff around my house, cooks for us, and seems like old good times. But never shows any affection to me, won’t even give me a ‘real’ hug. 2 years ago, when he was drinking heavy (which he never did here before he left), we were intimate Every time he came to town, usually with her down the street at her fathers house-asleep! Now he doesn’t drink and doesn’t want me to touch him! When we were intimate he told me several times he still loved me! I’ve never been able to get over him, but he hurt myself and his daughter so badly by leaving so abruptly and STILL NO EXPLAINATION! and I don’t ask b/c I’m scared of the answer. We all think it was b/c she has lots of money. After being apart and depressed (so hard for me alone with a child who can’t balance or walk, goes to lots of therapy, and developed Generalized Anxiety Disorder from his leaving) and no dates- small town- no dates, I’ve heard, b/c of disabled child. I still love him and my daughter (and I) need his help and his love. He left 2months after my mom died and right before Christmas 2011. I have few close friends and an Awful relationship with My Father. I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression years ago when the love of my life died in my arms at 38 yrs old from cancer, I was 28 with his 5 month old daughter. I really feel like I’m done with this world, I’m all alone and my ex obviously doesn’t want Us back. Any ideas? I’m so tired of wanting my ex back, and so disappointed with life. I’m 57, my daughter with him is 15. Help? Thanks

  • tibabe August 2, 2016, 6:24 am

    no I’ve already move on

  • tibabe August 2, 2016, 6:24 am

    yes , maybe .. Im not totally move on by my ex but I try my best to forget him ..

  • Marina July 27, 2016, 8:35 pm

    Dude I do all of these!! No shame either cause I’m gonna wish for like the next 10 years for him to come back. I don’t want anyone else. And no I don’t think it’s wrong to compare every guy you meet with your ex. It’s totally fine and f they get butt hurt about it then that’s their problem

  • tamara January 5, 2016, 10:40 pm

    I am in that situation right now tearing up as I write this .the only way I get by is believing if it’s meant to be we will be if not its not meant to be .also remember how he loved me and how most ppl will never had that but I can be grateful I had it for a short while and thay ales me happy .

  • Ivan Baugh December 29, 2015, 8:44 am

    People need to make their lives easier on themselves. Getting over an ex might not seem easy at first, but if you are going to stalk him, you are in for a disappointment.

  • Rosalie Garcia December 28, 2015, 1:28 pm

    I was like this one time. I wasted so much of my time just waiting in the wings for him to come back. What a waste!

  • Cheyenne Maddocks December 28, 2015, 1:16 pm

    Since high school, I hve checked an ex boyfriend’s facebook or two :)

  • Edith Garcia December 27, 2015, 9:35 am

    There are plenty of ways to get over your EX, but you have to WANT to do it to begin with.

  • Judy Gray December 26, 2015, 12:23 pm

    We all know getting over an ex cannot be easy all the time. These are some very important topics that you should understand if you are in the same situation.

    • Laura Steiner December 29, 2015, 8:51 am

      That is what friends are for, right?

  • Maryrose Allen December 24, 2015, 12:27 pm

    The best way to get over your ex is to cut ALL ties. Get all of his things out of your home as well.

  • Tracy Young December 23, 2015, 10:09 am

    Yeah, these can really creep up on you even if you think you are way passed your ex. it is sad.

    • Donna Leath December 27, 2015, 9:52 am

      having good friends and family should be able to help.

  • Renae Ortiz December 23, 2015, 9:57 am

    I feel sorry for those that want to find love back where they left it. I tend to just cut off, disappear for a bit and go from there. I never have issues with that.

    • Marion Koenig December 24, 2015, 12:36 pm

      Yeah, it can be quite sad that they think they will never find love anywhere else.

  • Cathrine Harris December 22, 2015, 3:19 pm

    I went through something like this years ago and I was happy that my friends were there to support me, otherwise I might be back with that jerk.

  • John Rothwell December 22, 2015, 12:51 pm

    If you are not over your ex, your friends need to step in and give you a reality check. They are there to help you through the tough times and to make sure you are not going back to an ex that might have been bad to you.

  • Lucille Campbell December 19, 2015, 8:35 am

    It is a lot harder to forget about someone when you work in the same building, or live on the same block or even see each other in passing. Just move away, that is easier.

  • Jodi Pinero December 18, 2015, 5:31 pm

    Things are not going well for you if you cannot get rid of the ex in your mind. It is not healthy to hold onto things from the past, right?

    • Meaghan Thomas December 26, 2015, 12:38 pm

      Exactly. Getting those feelings out of your mind ASAP would be the best thing for you.

  • Gloria Norton December 17, 2015, 4:54 pm

    I am in a situation right now that has me thinking I will never get over my ex. All of these signs are me to a “T”. :/

    • Miguel Rowe December 18, 2015, 5:42 pm

      Oh really? DO you ever get the feeling you are stalking the guy?

      • Lillian June 13, 2017, 4:44 pm

        I do sometimes. I often feel like I am stalking the guy on like snapchat or something o-o I always end up turning my phone off and hiding it so I’ll forget about him. I am really awkward bc I have depression, so I dont really do people o-o…

  • Pamela Woolery December 17, 2015, 4:42 pm

    All of these are things would make me feel terrible about holding onto the past.

  • Miriam Fox December 16, 2015, 1:01 pm

    If you find yourself wondering about your ex, you should have some friends that are willing to step and and get your mind off them.

  • Rachel Lindell December 15, 2015, 10:05 am

    It is not easy to move passed a person that you gave your heart to.

  • Carla Wheeler December 15, 2015, 9:55 am

    When you are with a person for so long, there is a routine that happens. You might not even realize it, but you get up and send a text, or check your email or whatever. When that person is gone, it is normal to feel like you are forgetting to do something.

  • Maude Bates December 14, 2015, 9:32 am

    Just because I am thinking about the memories with him, does not mean that I am not over him. What if they were really great times for my life and that is just how I remember them?

    • Brenda Solum December 19, 2015, 8:43 am

      Well, I am not sure that is true. Those memories are coming back for a reason, right?

  • Rhonda Kleiman December 12, 2015, 11:16 am

    I am guilty of making sure that I end up where he is so he can see me. It was quite easy since he worked at a coffee shop that I went to each day. :) I hope he likes it!

  • Louise Rodriguez December 9, 2015, 9:16 am

    I was so in love with him. I cannot get over him and it has been almost 1 year already. He really wrecked me when he cheated on me.

  • Elizabeth Davis December 9, 2015, 9:03 am

    The best way is to cut off all contact with him and that includes things like dropping his number and Facebook. Any time he can just pop up, you are going to fall right back into him.

    • Heidi Sikes December 16, 2015, 1:08 pm

      Yes, you need to stop with the contact. Even seeing his number months later can trigger a bout of depression about losing him.

  • Amanda Williams December 8, 2015, 10:45 am

    If you are not over your ex, you might as well talk directly to them or it is going to drive you nuts wondering if you can ever have them back.

  • Darlene June 10, 2015, 7:32 pm

    Sometimes there is a fine line between stalking and just wanting to know where someone is. Be careful, it can be a slippery slope!

    • Valerie Bowman December 8, 2015, 10:56 am

      Oh yeah it is! You do not want to be known as a stalking to everyone in town that is for sure.

  • A. Bremmer June 9, 2015, 10:09 am

    I would call most of these stalker-like issues. I know it is not easy to get over an ex, but following them around like this is not good for either of you. If he is not interested, find someone that is.

  • Mae Green June 9, 2015, 9:41 am

    I am not going to say that it is easy to get over an ex, BUT if you are doing ANY of these on the list, you have issues that should be looked into.

    • Bernice Richardson December 12, 2015, 11:29 am

      Just when I thought I was over my ex, I ran into him and before I know it, we are talking about getting back together. Should I?

    • Marina July 27, 2016, 8:39 pm

      Ma me I think you need to see a psychiatrist. I do every one of these and NO I am never going to get over my ex! I spent every day for a year with him and we were going to get married and this is someone who loses interest in a guy very quickly and I know for fact I’m never going to find anyone like him because I usually leave after about a month. People are boring

  • Ella B. June 7, 2015, 11:07 am

    Getting over an ex is not always going to be that easy. You will have to get your shit together quickly or you can fall into a depression that makes you miss more of your own time. Get together with friends that are on your side and keep your head up.

  • Marcie Moore June 7, 2015, 10:41 am

    I am not over my ex at all! I hate it and I have done ALL of these things just to try and see if there is anything left for us. I am not sure what I am going to do about it at this point…

  • Alice Gardener June 7, 2015, 10:23 am

    If you find that you cannot get over your ex, getting away from Facebook, texting, emailing and other forms of communication is the best option. That way you can take a break from it all and it might help you forget easier.

  • Kristen Milkweed June 3, 2015, 11:40 am

    These really hit home. I cannot get over my ex, even though he treated me like garbage and didn’t care how I felt about it. I need help moving on….

    • Justine June 10, 2015, 7:22 pm

      You NEED to talk to your friends. In most cases, they will at least get your mind off the boy. Good luck!

  • P. Lingle June 3, 2015, 11:26 am

    I think we have all been in the same place before. When I broke up with my b/f, there were so many signs I could hardly believe it. I missed him every minute I was awake because there were songs, smells and other things that reminded me of him right away. It was tough, but it had to be done.

  • Jack Wheeler June 2, 2015, 10:49 am

    As a guy, I would like to say that if you really want to get over your ex you NEED to cut ALL ties from him. You cannot leave his number in your phone, follow him around Facebook or even show up at his work. It will just not work for you and you might come across as the creepy stalker type.

  • J. Gorel June 2, 2015, 10:33 am

    I found myself checking his Facebook page all of the time. My friends finally removed him as a friend of mine on the site and I have never felt better about it. I can finally move on.

    • Francis McKinley December 14, 2015, 9:42 am

      That is what makes social media so bad for relationships. You are not able to get away when you want to.

  • Rashanique M. June 1, 2015, 11:39 am

    Getting over an ex is hard enough the way it is. If you are going to be doing the things that are listed here, you might have other issues that need to be worked out. Take the advice that I have seen on this blog and take a step back to have time for yourself. At some point, you will wake up and not even think about him, or her.

  • Jessie Donner June 1, 2015, 11:22 am

    I broke up with my b/f last month and it has been hard to keep him out of my mind. I want to text him so badly, but I know that I will feel like I am never going to get over him. I guess it’s just a weird feeling not having him around.

  • Kelly Smith May 24, 2015, 11:23 am

    Getting over your ex would be much easier if you did not see them. When we broke up last year, I just made sure that I stayed away from the places that I knew he was going to be. In a few short weeks, I was not even thinking about him anymore and ready to move on!

  • Cramp May 24, 2015, 11:08 am

    I have done the comparing thing before. What is wrong with that? If I felt that was the personality that I got along with best, I should hope to find one that is similar at some point in my life, right?

    • GoodLuck June 7, 2015, 11:20 am

      Good luck with that. There are things that you can do, but many that you have no control over. If you are finding it hard to get over an ex, move on by hanging out with friends in new places and doing new things.

  • Cooper May 24, 2015, 10:51 am

    Not being over your EX sucks. It prolongs any other relationship that you could be having right now. It is also not healthy and could even end up with you getting a stalking claim against you.

  • Freddy Junior May 24, 2015, 10:33 am

    Facebook is a tough one these days. If you stay friends with them on the site, you can really see what they are up to and that is only going to drive you nuts. On the other hand, if you live in the same area, you will see her around town and that could drive you just as batty. I found that cutting every single tie with them when you break up is the best way, don’t you think?

  • B. Gloria Smith May 24, 2015, 10:15 am

    I have been over an ex of mine for years. Then all of sudden a message of Facebook and he is all that I can think about again. I know it is a sad situation as he is married and has a family, but all I do is wonder “what if”.

  • D. Fritz May 24, 2015, 10:01 am

    With the rise of technology these days, it can be very hard to drop them from your life. Facebook, Twitter and texting has made it too easy to contact a person just in case you are feeling down and out.

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