It may sound cliché to you, but every relationship needs a little something special in the bedroom!
You’ve heard it time and time again and have probably wondered if it’s really that important. Can it be that sex is really and truly that important to a relationship?
As a woman you probably don’t have the sex drive that your man does, though you may view it as something that is just there. Not that all women are like this, but the vast majority wonder why this is so important to men.
You can have a really great relationship, but if the sex is at a standstill, boring, or even nonexistent, it can literally kill things.
And that’s the reason I am sharing this article on heating things up in your sex life.
#1. Why Does Sex Matter So Much?
So of course I can relate the importance of sex to a couple that I met with. They were a pretty common, run of the mill, average couple that seemed happy and at a good point in their relationship.
They had been together for about four years and he had recently proposed. She seemed to be enjoying the engagement phase, while he seemed a little unsure.
I see that all the time as the man of course takes longer to embrace this new phase of his life—so nothing seemed out of the ordinary to me!
They were both good looking, seemed like two great individuals, and as they told me about their life together they appeared to have a lot of fun together. So what was the major malfunction?
I couldn’t figure it out at first until I saw him reach for her hand, and she sort of pulled away. Then he tried to grab at her leg in a playful way, and she turned the other way.
What was going on?
Was she emotionally unavailable or was there something lurking beneath the surface?
We were talking about their relationship and of the road ahead into marriage. They came to me as a proactive measure to start their upcoming marriage off on the right foot.
I wanted to dig deeper to see what was making her turn away every time that he tried to be a little physical with her. I couldn’t understand what was making her so closed off.
So I asked the ultimate question—how is your sex life?
She looked like she had seen a ghost as she withdrew into herself and crossed her arms, sitting back in her chair.
He got a very frustrated look on his face and sort of shrugged his shoulders as if to say that this was a dead issue.
He started telling me how their sex life used to be amazing when they were first together. They were constantly connected in this way and they both seemed to enjoy it.
He said he didn’t understand why sex never happened anymore, and he was worried that this was a preview of how their marriage would be.
He went on to tell her that was why it took him so long to propose and why he seemed uncertain now as they faced marriage.
She looked horrified at first but then seemed to soften up a bit as she understood the reason for his concerns. She said it wasn’t that she was no longer interested in sex, but that him constantly asking for it really turned her off.
So while he felt they didn’t get enough of it and he kept asking her for it, she felt annoyed that he wouldn’t leave her alone and let it happen naturally.
Clearly they were at a crossroads as they needed to have it more, but it couldn’t feel like a chore to her.
She didn’t realize why it was so important to him, for that ultimate connection and to show him that she cared.
He of course would have it every day if it was up to him, but he understood that there was a happy medium.
Eventually they did talk it on and went on to live happily ever after, hopefully with a wonderful and healthy sex life.
Suffice it to say that this is not the first or last couple that I have seen through the years who has sex issues. It’s either not enough or he wants it too much and pesters her, those are the most typical issues.
So if you want to move forward in a cohesive manner and ward off his fears of commitment as they relate to sex, it’s time to pay attention to this component.
No sex at all is not good and it will kill the relationship in no time! There is a happy medium however and it’s up to the couple to figure out what that is.
How you find that happy medium and how you spice up your sex life and keep it interesting is up to you— and trust me when I tell you that it does require some effort!
Though you may think that the sex life will always be there and just take for granted that what you have now will be good enough, it won’t be. You need to keep it interesting and make it fun for both of you to stay interested.
As life happens, your responsibilities increase, and the time you are together gets longer, the sex life will require even more effort.
So if you learn to make this a priority early on and always stay focused on it, you will be a happy couple in this area. You will also help to ease any fears he has of commitment or being together in the long term in the process.
#2. How Can You Keep Your Sex Life a Priority and Make It Interesting?
The key is to make sure that you see eye to eye on what your sex life should be. Though he may want it 7 times a week and you may be happy with once a week, perhaps there’s a way to find a happy medium.
It may not even be about frequency, but just keeping it interesting. Finding new ways of spicing things up can be a really fun way of connecting.
One such way is the power of dirty talking you can read my article here how to talk dirty to your man and spice up your sex life.
The element of surprise with each other and to constantly finding new ways of connecting and keeping things fresh can be great fun—and a healthy extension of your relationship!
You want to keep him interested and share in the fun with him so that you are connected on a whole new level. Here are some others ways to do just that.
#3. Always make sex a priority
No matter what you have going on in your lives: If you don’t make sex a priority early on, then it never will be.
This is something that you must put emphasis on and that you must give priority to, no matter what else you have going on in life.
So make this a priority now—not only will it show him that you value your sex life, but it will also ensure that you stay connected in this way moving forward!
#4. Make sure he knows that sex will always be important to you.
Sometimes actions speak louder than words, but both are important when it comes to this area of the relationship.
If you sense that he’s fearful of commitment or what the future holds for the two of you, he needs to know that sex will always be important to you.
The reason that so many men worry about committing to you forever is that they want to know that there will still be a sex life. There are a lot of women out there who simply stop caring about sex altogether after a while.
He needs to know that you will not be this woman!
Believe me when I tell you that men hear all the horror stories from their friends. Some of which are warranted as the woman stops caring about sex, and some of which are embellished as she just doesn’t want it as much as him.
Either way, he needs to know that you will not be that woman. He needs to know that he has a partner in the bedroom for life!
Men think about sex so often that they clearly need some reassurance in this area.
Even the most confident man will fear that his future holds a sexless relationship and that’s very unsettling from his point of view.
Show him and tell him that sex is important to you and that it always will be. Put value into this aspect of the relationship and be certain that it always stays at the forefront of things.
Life will happen but you two need to stay connected in this manner!
#5. Try to get a weekend or even a night away, just the two of you.
if nothing else to stay connected once in a while. Couples need to have an interesting sex life if they want to stay connected together in the long term.
Dream up something interesting and always add in the element of surprise. This can really bump up the intimacy you share in this manner.
If he sees that you are putting in effort that’s an instant turn on. It always shows him that you do care and that you are still going to be the same person he fell in love with as the relationship moves forward.
Sure this takes effort and an investment of time, but it’s well worth it.
So while you may feel like you have so many other things going on, investing time and effort into keeping your sex life interesting will keep you connected on so many different levels.
#6. Flirt with him.
Dress in something sexy and hot, and give him little signs of passion and have fun with it the entire evening. He will be in awe!
How much fun is this for you to plan?
You are going to love planning fun kinky sex ideas that filter into your sex life and he is going to be speechless.
He will love what this does for the two of you and he will be all too happy to return the favor.
So while you are having fun planning new ways of connecting and keeping the sex hot, he’s going to be doing the same. The end result is a very happy couple with an amazing sex life!
Make him crave you and drive him crazy: You want him to look at you like a goddess in every possible way!
Not only do you want him to consider you pretty, but sexy too. This may be a hard adjustment for you at first as you may not feel that way about yourself.
This is where confidence can go a long way. So no matter what else has happened in your past or what kind of betrayal or trust issues you may have encountered, it’s time to let go.
This time it’s about being the goddess that he craves and can’t get enough of. This is where a good solid sexual connection becomes so very important.
This is why you put the effort into it—when you do and you show forth the confidence in this manner he is going to be blown away!
If you show him that you are confident, assertive, and interested in making sex a priority he is going to be all about it. If you show confidence, ingenuity, and keep him constantly guessing he is going to put you on a pedestal.
Never be something that you’re not or pretend to be and never do something outside of your comfort zone. Do however think of fun new ways to keep the spark alive!
I’ll show you why dressing the part really does matter, but it’s much more than that. This is about how innovative and assertive you are in taking matters into your own hands when it comes to sex.
Have so much fun with this and he will see you in an entirely different light!
It’s easy to make sex interesting when you are newly dating because you are both hot for each other. It takes much more effort and imagination to make him crave you after you have been together for a while.
Obviously a relationship needs much more than just sex to keep things interesting, but it certainly does count.
Make this 6 steps a priority early on, embrace that inner confidence and become that sex goddess that you never knew you could be, and watch him crave you and need you in an entirely different way!
I will stop here. If you loved reading this article you will certainly love my 3 free magical guides to heat things up with your man.