I’m writing this article because I want to straighten out a question that I’ve gotten over and over from heartbroken and frantic women all over the world.
The question usually goes something like this:
“I’ve been with this guy for a long time and we have the most incredible connection – I’ve never felt a connection like that with anyone else and I know we have a future together. I’m sure we’ll be together forever but the one problem is that he says he doesn’t want to get married. How do I convince him that we’re perfect together and we should get married?”
I’m not exaggerating when I say that this question and the assumptions behind it are what’s behind 99% of suffering in the dating world.
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Going To Commit?
So what’s the deal? Is it possible to change a guy’s mind? Can you convince a reluctant guy to get married?
What Should You Do If He Says He Doesn’t Want To Get Married?
The truth is, there’s only one course of action that won’t lead to heartbreak and terrible broken feelings.
If he says he doesn’t want to get married, you have to believe him.
I know I gave the answer away in the title a little bit, but it bears repeating. It never pays to try to convince a guy who doesn’t want to get married that he actually should.
Now, I’m not saying it’s impossible. Guys who swear up and down that they’ll never get married do sometimes marry!
Unfortunately for their partners, it practically never happens with them.
Guys who say they’re never going to get married when they’re with someone really don’t ever wind up marrying them – they only occasionally wind up marrying a different woman later.
Let’s look at why that is.
What It Means When He Talks About How Much He Hates Marriage
The first type of guy who’s “never going to get married” is the guy who absolutely hates the institution of marriage.
This type of guy doesn’t think marriage is a good idea for anyone – even couples who really love each other. (He might not believe in love either.)
He might think it’s a scam, or that it always screws men over, or that it’s just not worth it because more than half end in divorce.
Whatever his specific reason for hating marriage, this guy actually dislikes the institution of marriage and doesn’t ever see himself getting married.
In this case, like in all cases where he says he doesn’t want to get married believe him .
He’s not likely to find someone who’s going to change his mind about marriage. Whether you two stay together or not, he’s almost certainly never going to get married.
What It Means When He Says He Can’t Get Married “Right Now”
That brings us to the other type of guy who says he doesn’t want to get married – the guy who makes excuses.
This guy might come up with a million different excuses as to why he can’t get married – maybe he has a situation with an ex-wife, or he can’t do it financially right now, or some other excuse that prevents him from tying the knot.
This is the guy who says he doesn’t have a problem with getting married, he just doesn’t want to get married right now, for whatever reason.
Like I said before, the running theme is that you should believe him if he says he doesn’t want to get married.
The excuse doesn’t matter. The truth is that he’s telling the truth when he says he doesn’t want to get married – he doesn’t want to get married to you. Whatever excuse he gives you is him trying to spare your feelings.
This type of guy might eventually get married if he finds the right woman, but what he’s trying to tell you when he says he doesn’t want to marry you is that you’re not the right woman for him.
It’s harsh, but true. You’ll save yourself years of pain and heartbreak by just believing him when he tells you that marriage isn’t what he’s after.
Of course, it’s up to you whether marriage is a dealbreaker or not. If you want to stay with him and have a relationship without the possibility of marriage you’re free to do that.
But if marriage is really important to you and you’re banking on him changing his mind down the road… all you’re setting yourself up for is to get your heart broken.
Moral of the story is the same at the end as it is at the beginning: guys who say they don’t want to get married are telling the truth. If he tells you he doesn’t want marriage, believe him.
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