You did expect that the birth of your child would change your life. Now you know what it means, it’s much better described as turning your whole world upside down in more ways than you could have ever imagined. It suddenly seems that everything about your life is vastly different.
You can’t get round the change, it may be overwhelming
Having arrived, the little one instantly becomes the center of your whole being, drawing all your attention and energy towards assisting him or her in every single moment of their lives. Although their daily routine comprises the simplest actions – eating, sleeping, passing water and pooping – it all involves you to the extent that is fairly unbelievable. All the rest, your relationship as well, fades away from your mind.
Your relationship gets edgy
Chances are your partner begins to irritate you all of a sudden, and you become short and snappy with him. You have to stay at home and he leaves for work – it chafes, he does washing in a way which is not up to the mark, and the way he fastens a diaper is nothing short of risible. You have to remind to yourself that it doesn’t mean your relationship has deteriorated overnight. It’s just that you are moodier than usual, the condition often referred to as “baby blues”. These outbursts are quite normal if they don’t evolve into postpartum depression. It’s your hormones raging – after a while you will come to terms with them, but meanwhile try to check these flashes of irritation.
Your relationship remains sadly undernurtured
After becoming parents you have so many things to do, and you’re always behind the schedule! It’s unbearable. How can you even think of spending time with your partner when you’re in such a mad whirl? You know – and your friends advise – and your man hints – that it would be a good idea to enjoy some quality time together, but it’s unthinkable. How can you?! Nevertheless, it should be somehow contrived to refresh your, and his, emotions.
You’re off sex for the time being
There was an understandable pause after you delivered – no sex for six weeks or more, not that you wanted it that with all those labors that you had to endure. Certainly, your body needed that well-earned repose. Then came the time when you got the green light for sensual pleasures, but do you feel up to them? Most likely, no. You’ve been having a rare hard time lately, and you’ve accumulated a great deal of stress, emotional torpor, and overall exhaustion. Any kind of a romantic mood is noticeably absent. So it’s like that. Just make sure you talked it over with your man so he doesn’t think he’s in the wrong somehow or this change in your lives is here to stay.
The baby gets more love than the father does
It seems natural that the baby should receive all your love, even pulling the affection that used to be directed at your partner. You probably knew about it beforehand. Well, when you focus on it, you realize that your feelings for your man are there, but it really requires concentrating on it, yet there are times when he slips out of your mind entirely. Meanwhile he loves the baby too and helps you as much as he can, and there’s no call right now to bicker about the love given and received.
You’ve grown brusque
Well, if you’re a parent, you don’t have time for niceties, and, considering how much you have on your hands, your partner ought to understand you. Although it would go down well if you make a point of being pleasant now and again and thank your man for assistance.
Downtime has become a thing of a distant past
You spent so much time doing the things you both love to do, deriving pleasure from taking walks together, listening to the music you both love, going places and then discussing the day in bed.
It was so warm, cozy and intimate, but it’s gone. You’ve been propelled into a very different lifestyle, where you barely have a breather.
It’s rough, but your bond has grown stronger
Undoubtedly you are going through a trying period in your lives, but the magic of giving birth to a new life is there, and as you go on nurturing your little darling, the feelings that unite you are growing stronger imperceptibly. You may be currently aware of rough time only, but after things have quieted down a little, you will feel your love flowing anew when you both are joined through the baby you brought into the world. The love you shower on the little one will make your love for each other ever more powerful.
How Your Relationship Changes After Having A Baby
- You can’t get round the change, it may be overwhelming
- Your relationship gets edgy
- Your relationship remains sadly undernurtured
- You’re off sex for the time being
- The baby gets more love than the father does
- You’ve grown brusque
- Downtime has become a thing of a distant past
- It’s rough, but your bond has grown stronger
Daria Kurilko is the founder, writer and editor of http://geniuspregnancy.com/ – an online guide for women about pregnancy, parenting and health. She has a master’s degree in sociology with a number of scientific publications to her credit and extensive experience in marketing and PR. Daria, who currently lives in Wiesbaden, Germany, is also a loving mother and wife. Since 2007 she enjoys sharing her experiences and broad knowledge about all things beauty, nutrition and relationships with her readers.