I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years, going on 7. We’re really in love and have a good time together. The thing is, I want to get married… and I don’t know what he’s thinking or what the reason is but for some reason, he refuses to get married. I’ve asked him why, and he says the same thing. It’s along the lines of this: “I like what we have right now, I don’t get why people need to put that specific title on things. I don’t need to be married to you to be in love.”
And even worse, he gets moody and kind of upset when I do bring it up. I try not to mention it too often, but deep down I’m always thinking about it. What am I supposed to do? How do I make my boyfriend marry me?
Now, whether you’re in a relationship right now or not… across the board, I’ve seen a lot of women who are in a rush to get married in general. Even a lot of my close female friends and family members, strong and wonderful women in my life that I have nothing but respect and admiration for, have expressed fear in never finding that “one perfect man” to devote their life to.
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Going To Commit?
You’ve been thinking about your future and at the same time, you’ve seen your friends getting hitched. You’ve been thinking about settling down, maybe having kids. And ultimately, you want to know that your guy will make the final commitment and love you forever.
The thought of finally getting married to one man who dedicates the rest of his life to you might seem like the ultimate dream that will finally make you feel safe. Getting married might be something you dreamed of as a little girl, before you went to sleep at night…as you imagined putting on that white dress and walking down the aisle in front of all the people you love.
Except now, you are in a situation where you don’t know if you will ever end up getting married…and it’s terrifying.
It’s beyond terrifying. It might give you a sinking feeling if you even think about a life without a husband.
Here’s Why He Won’t Propose
So how do you make a guy finally realize that you’re the woman of his dreams? Well, the weird part about getting a guy desperate to propose is it begins with your mindset. The way you think about marriage is going to make or break the vibe you give off. The mindset sabotaging you right now is the fixation on “getting married” as if it is something you can possess. Marriage is nothing more than a title or a label. This label will bring you nothing. Just because you are married does not mean you won’t get divorced or separated.
Just because you are married doesn’t guarantee a happy ever after.
Marriage doesn’t mean your husband won’t cheat.
And most of all, marriage does not mean your man will never leave you.
I don’t say that to be harsh, it’s just the truth.
Like I said, marriage is nothing more than a label people place on their relationships to show their devotion towards one another. Nothing more and nothing less. If you stop focusing on the idea of getting married as something that needs to happen and instead focus on the quality of the time you spend with your guy you will maximize the chances of him getting down on one knee…and begging you to be his wife.
It might sound weird, but the truth is…this is the secret women who get men dying to marry them know: The act of fixating on it makes men NOT want to do it.
A good friend of mine, Clare, was frantic when she came to me. She was dating a guy for 7 years and she felt like she tried everything… he still refused to tie the knot. His logic was that marriage would ruin things and the nonstop pressure she put on him to do it started causing problems in their relationship. Not only that, but the more she brought up the issue, the more he pulled away.
Now, when she came over crying hysterically, I gently told her, “Just enjoy your time with him. Seriously, stop fixating on the idea of marriage and let it go. This is going to make him realize you are actually someone he wants in his life long term.” You might be surprised, but most women share the very same fears about marriage. For example, many women are terrified of the idea of their soul-mate leaving them and bearing the scars of divorce.
There are three common reasons men don’t want to get married.
1. Fear of Divorce
Just like a lot of women are really scared of getting married and having it fall apart, it’s actually the very same for most men! It’s been statistically shown that the average guy is afraid of the risks of divorce. What’s the best way to avoid that? Not getting married in the first place. That’s not necessarily fair, but it’s true.
Hence why this is a reason a lot of men aren’t fond of the idea of marriage. It could have nothing to do with you but everything to do with his fear of what will happen if things don’t work out.
2. Pressure To Have Children
This one may not shock you, yet a lot of men don’t want to get married because they don’t want to feel obligated to have kids. What do I mean by that? I don’t mean that men don’t want kids, that wouldn’t be true. A lot of guys simply want to wait until they’re older and more prepared to have children. (And believe me, if a guy says “I don’t want to have kids” it really means “I don’t want to have kids now”.) Men are short-term planners and live in the now, not 15, 10, or even 5 years from now.
3. Fear of Things Changing
A lot of men think that after you get married, things all of a sudden change. He might genuinely love the way things are right now and not want things to become any different after tying the knot.
The bottom line is, you can’t force a man to marry you (and even if you could, it would be setting the marriage up for failure). You can, however, inspire your man to marry you by showing him that you are his soul-mate, the woman he will always love and adore.
It’s ok to feel impatient about securing marriage with your man, but forcing a man to put a ring on your finger is only going to accomplish one thing; frustrate him. He wants to relax and simply enjoy your relationship.
So, how do you inspire him to propose?
After working with hundreds of couples and researching the dynamics behind what leads to couples getting married for years and I’ve narrowed it down to 2 steps.
Step 1) Relax and take your relationship easy. If you want to be with him forever, enjoy your relationship like it’s going to last forever. This effectively gives your man room to breathe and you get to have some space for yourself.
Take all the energy and effort you’ve been putting into trying to make him propose and invest it into your own life. Spend time with your friends, your hobbies, and your family. When you’re happy about your own life, this creates a powerful vibe that entrances your man and makes him love being around you.
Step 2) Excite him! If you want him to stick with you forever, show him that you can mix things up. A lot of guys are afraid that if they commit to a woman, the passion will slowly fizzle out and he’ll get bored.
Challenge him by showing interest in his hobbies, try something new together, or… spend some time apart. I don’t mean leave him or “taking a break”, but if you can take time for yourself, he will feel like his time with you is precious and he’ll want it even more.
When you inspire this feeling of devotion and love in your man, he will overcome all of his fears and worries about marriage because all he will be able to think about is spending his future with you.
That doesn’t mean he will immediately think the answer is marriage, but it will definitely bring him closer to popping the question.
Bottom line: you can’t force a man to marry you. Trying to will only push him further away from the idea of proposing.
Are you in a relationship right now where your guy refuses to put a ring on your finger but you desperately want him to? What are your thoughts on marriage in general? Let me know in the comments, I love to hear from my readers.
Want to find out if he’s going to commit? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really going to commit to you…