When A Guy Says He Doesn't Want Marriage: Believe Him!

When A Guy Says He Doesn’t Want Marriage: Believe Him!

I’m writing this article because I want to straighten out a question that I’ve gotten over and over from heartbroken and frantic women all over the world.

The question usually goes something like this:

“I’ve been with this guy for a long time and we have the most incredible connection – I’ve never felt a connection like that with anyone else and I know we have a future together. I’m sure we’ll be together forever but the one problem is that he says he doesn’t want to get married. How do I convince him that we’re perfect together and we should get married?”

I’m not exaggerating when I say that this question and the assumptions behind it are what’s behind 99% of suffering in the dating world.

Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Going To Commit?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s going to commit to you…

more: Signs He’s Never Going To Commit

So what’s the deal? Is it possible to change a guy’s mind? Can you convince a reluctant guy to get married?

What Should You Do If He Says He Never Wants To Get Married??

If a guy says he doesn’t want to get married, the best possible course of action is to believe him and proceed with your life as if what he said is true. You’re not going to convince him, or change his mind, or make him think otherwise, and trying to do so will only result in heartbreak. Furthermore, him saying that he never wants to get married is a soft way of saying that he doesn’t want to marry you, so trying to stick with him so that he sees how great it would be is only going to get you hurt.

he says he never wants to get married

The truth is, there’s only one course of action that won’t lead to heartbreak and terrible broken feelings.

If he says he doesn’t want to get married, you have to believe him.

more: Why Won’t He Commit To You

I know I gave the answer away in the title a little bit, but it bears repeating. It never pays to try to convince a guy who doesn’t want to get married that he actually should.

Now, I’m not saying it’s impossible. Guys who swear up and down that they’ll never get married do sometimes marry!

more: 5 Signs He’s Not Going To Commit

Unfortunately for their partners, it practically never happens with them.

Guys who say they’re never going to get married when they’re with someone really don’t ever wind up marrying them – they only occasionally wind up marrying a different woman later.

Let’s look at why that is.

more: The Best Ways To Make Him Commit

What It Means When He Talks About How Much He Hates Marriage

The first type of guy who’s “never going to get married” is the guy who absolutely hates the institution of marriage.

This type of guy doesn’t think marriage is a good idea for anyone – even couples who really love each other. (He might not believe in love either.)

more: 4 Ways To Get Him To Commit To The Relationship

He might think it’s a scam, or that it always screws men over, or that it’s just not worth it because more than half end in divorce.

Whatever his specific reason for hating marriage, this guy actually dislikes the institution of marriage and doesn’t ever see himself getting married.

In this case, like in all cases where he says he doesn’t want to get married believe him .

more: The Biggest Signs You’re Dating An Emotionally Unavailable Guy

He’s not likely to find someone who’s going to change his mind about marriage. Whether you two stay together or not, he’s almost certainly never going to get married.

What It Means When He Says He Can’t Get Married “Right Now”

That brings us to the other type of guy who says he doesn’t want to get married – the guy who makes excuses.

more: The Top Signs A Guy Doesn’t Like You

This guy might come up with a million different excuses as to why he can’t get married – maybe he has a situation with an ex-wife, or he can’t do it financially right now, or some other excuse that prevents him from tying the knot.

This is the guy who says he doesn’t have a problem with getting married, he just doesn’t want to get married right now, for whatever reason.

more: The Biggest Signs He’s A Commitment-Phobe

Like I said before, the running theme is that you should believe him if he says he doesn’t want to get married.

The excuse doesn’t matter. The truth is that he’s telling the truth when he says he doesn’t want to get married – he doesn’t want to get married to you. Whatever excuse he gives you is him trying to spare your feelings.

more: What To Do If Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Get Married

This type of guy might eventually get married if he finds the right woman, but what he’s trying to tell you when he says he doesn’t want to marry you is that you’re not the right woman for him.

It’s harsh, but true. You’ll save yourself years of pain and heartbreak by just believing him when he tells you that marriage isn’t what he’s after.

more: Top Signs He’s Not The Marrying Kind

Of course, it’s up to you whether marriage is a dealbreaker or not. If you want to stay with him and have a relationship without the possibility of marriage you’re free to do that.

But if marriage is really important to you and you’re banking on him changing his mind down the road… all you’re setting yourself up for is to get your heart broken.

more: He Says He Doesn’t Want To Get Married…

Moral of the story is the same at the end as it is at the beginning: guys who say they don’t want to get married are telling the truth. If he tells you he doesn’t want marriage, believe him.

Want to find out if he’s going to commit? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really going to commit…

Take The Quiz: Is He Going To Commit?

37 comments… add one
  • David January 25, 2024, 11:44 am

    Some men just don’t believe in the institution of marriage and the joke its become. If he tells you day 1 and you still pursue him you have Noone to blame but yourself. Assuming he was honest from the get go

  • Connie B. April 20, 2023, 6:07 am

    I don’t necessarily agree! My husband and I started out as friends, and became best friends when we were both going through divorces. At first, he said he did NOT want a relationship at all, then 6 months later we were dating exclusively. We also both said we would NEVER marry again (after ending a 25 year marriage), but then a few years later, we changed our minds and we have been happily married ever since. I think a lot of us say we will never marry again after ending a long, unhappy marriage, but when you find the one, you just know.

  • Rissa May 7, 2021, 3:29 pm

    some men just dont want that commitment so you cant make someone do something that they dont wanna do at least you know what you getting yourself into in the long run i always ask men i date upfront now what they intentions really are so i dont get my hopes up for something that may never happen people be playing games alot these days so just be straight up about what you want so you dont get your heart broke lesson life learned!

  • Golda December 11, 2020, 5:11 pm

    This is happening to me presently, my longtime boyfriend told me that he doesn’t have marriage in his agenda and I do. I really wanna get married but I love him so much, I don’t wanna leave him. I’m lost‍♀️ I don’t know what to do

  • patricia June 27, 2017, 3:41 pm

    i absolutely agree here. don’t even think for 1 second that you can change him and his interactions with you. he won’t even admit it.

  • charlene June 26, 2017, 3:51 am

    yes, just believe him and nothing will ever change that, not even you.

  • fermie June 19, 2017, 11:59 pm

    this is so true!

  • veronica June 14, 2017, 7:42 pm

    if my man is going to be like this, i would want him to tell me ahead so i won’t fall too hard :(

  • jennifer June 12, 2017, 11:45 am

    wow! something i would never think of. but i guess this really is very common.

  • shannon June 9, 2017, 4:17 am

    i waited and waited thinking he will change and his perspective about marriage will change if i made him happy. turns out to be false. </3

  • lyka June 6, 2017, 11:32 pm

    some men won’t ever be willing to commit, that’s just it.

  • karina June 5, 2017, 11:27 pm

    this is a good read for women who think they can change their men

  • charlotte June 4, 2017, 10:47 pm

    you gotta believe him because there are really this type of men. no matter how much he cares or loves you, he still might not marry you in the end.

  • kenzie June 1, 2017, 7:00 pm

    yup, better believe him and run!

    • Jane February 20, 2018, 7:45 pm

      Run, really? What if the man is with you in a monogamous long term relationship? What if you travel the world together and learn about new cultures? What if you pursued mutual interests that turned into lifelong passions together? I guess to you, marriage is the only important thing in a relationship, so my advice to men who date you is is for them to run!

    • Wraith October 4, 2019, 2:09 am

      Why is it always “run,” as if he’s some kind of monster? As long as he is honest about his intentions, he isn’t doing anything wrong. Why not wish him well (sincerely, not sarcastically) and go your own way?

  • mika June 1, 2017, 12:47 am

    there is still a big percentage of men who would not want to be tied for good

  • aileen May 30, 2017, 9:32 pm

    good for you if he honestly tells you rather than those men who would keep your hopes high and end up with nothing to offer at all.

  • vernie May 29, 2017, 8:08 pm

    believe it or not, this is really possible and happens a lot

  • rose May 25, 2017, 4:29 pm

    this is really nice! it is true that some men do not want to marry so if he tells you, believe him and consider yourself lucky fir his honesty.

  • melody May 24, 2017, 11:55 pm

    there are those men who couldn’t give up their freedom so marriage is never an option for them.

  • norma May 22, 2017, 5:32 pm

    this is so true. i think it’s better this way when the guy tells you straightforward than leave you hanging in the end.

  • carlie May 21, 2017, 6:27 pm

    most men wouldn’t even dare think about getting married, haha

  • valerie May 18, 2017, 2:19 pm

    it’s even good if he’s being honest with how he feels and his convictions. if you’re not OK with him not wanting to get married, leave it behind because you won’t change that anytime soon or most likely not at all.

  • carla May 16, 2017, 9:54 pm

    oh gosh, i never would want to be with this kind of guy!

  • sarah May 15, 2017, 10:13 am

    thanks for this post. a lot of thinking i need to do, really.

  • mikaela May 11, 2017, 5:55 pm

    this is really true. there are those who do not want to get tied forever so they choose not to get married.

  • martina May 10, 2017, 7:11 pm

    there are really men, and sometimes even women who don’t believe in marriage. some hate it because of their family background or their own personal experiences. if marriage is sacred to you, make sure you clarify this issue because you won’t be able to change his mind about this however you try.

  • ysabelle May 9, 2017, 5:12 pm

    this is very common for women to happen. they think they can change a man to someone who would commit along the way. some do succeed but most do not.

  • paloma May 8, 2017, 7:13 pm

    this is so true, some men do not really like the idea of marriage

  • charlotte May 3, 2017, 8:27 pm

    yes, this is definitely correct!

  • criselda May 2, 2017, 11:51 am

    a lot of men are afraid of getting hitched. bur with the right attitude and perspective with the right woman, things can change

  • perry April 26, 2017, 7:56 pm

    if he is that vocal about it, he must be telling the truth

  • "leah evers" April 26, 2017, 10:48 am

    You’re never going to change someone. They’ll only pretend to change so they can continue to take you for granted.

  • april April 25, 2017, 2:59 pm

    i know this for sure! yes, believe him and make a decision if you want to stay and end up not getting married or leave and wait for the right guy to come

    • Angel August 12, 2023, 11:18 pm

      I am very upset with my situation right now. We are living together for 19 years, we have 2 children 2 lovely boys ages 17 yrs old and 4 years old. He doesn’t want to get marry after all those years we’ve been together, after all the hardships and trials in our life my sacrifices for him. I even took care of him when his kidney fails and he got transplanted, I also took care of him when he got corona virus and dengue fever I’m always there for him no matter what. So it’s very painful for me knowing that he doesn’t want to marry, I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m 38 years old and he’s 44 years old. I’m hopeless now.

  • paola April 24, 2017, 11:21 pm

    i met a man was so much my type but i found out he didn’t want a commitment, more so marriage. this was something special for me so i just let him go. i didn’t want to end up miserable.

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