If only it was easy to melt a man’s heart, make him into a hopeless romantic, starry-eyed ball of nothing but pure, untainted and unfiltered love. I mean, it’s possible to make a guy turn into a ball of nothing but pure love, but you need to know something first.
I’m going to be straight with you, right from the beginning.
You can’t just pull romantic out of your butt. (Not that you would want to.)
You’ve gotta really think about how to do it, because real romance is about surprising your partner with the way you express your true love for him. That means being unexpected, and it also means giving it real thought.
And you also don’t want to be corny or insincere with them – which makes sense – because the only people who want to be corny and insincere work at Halmark.
So what’s a girl to do? Read on, I’ll tell you.
Take The Quiz: Are You Meant To Be Together?
Romance 101 Method 1: Be Thoughtful
And I mean thoughtful , not “I thought of you so here’s a checkout aisle chocolate.
Thoughtful like something tailored specifically to your partner’s personality, that you know he’ll like. Something beyond the obvious. Something that tells him “Hey, she thought about this, and did this specifically because she knows me well.”
People really appreciate that.
Remember, romance is one of the most important feelings in a relationship. If you want to keep your relationship going strong, you’ve got to put some thought into your romance.
You want examples? I’ll give you examples! If he loves music – surprise him with a cd from one of his favorite bands, or concert tickets, or a poster of a band he likes – you get the idea (1).
If he’s a bookworm, great! Any e-reader like a kindle is an awesome gift, as is a bookmark that’s customized for him, a rare book that he loves, or even a gift card for buying books.
If he’s the outdoorsy type, just pick his hobby and go with it! Mountain bikers get mountain biking stuff, hikers get hiking stuff, you get the idea.
Sports are even easier. Jerseys are always good, signed balls are great, tickets are amazing (2). Just make sure you know his favorite team!
Try a thoughtful date! Remember – thoughtful means that you’ve tailored the experience to something you know he likes, rather than the typical “romantic date” that you’ve seen in movies.
That means, if he’s not a fancy person, don’t think going to a fancy dinner = a romantic date! For him, something else might be much more romantic, even if it’s a walk by the park sharing a corner stand hot dog.
The point is, you’re putting thought and time into this. You’re thinking about what he really cares about, what he chooses to put in his life, what his interests are, and you’re having the date reflect them (3). that’s where the romance comes from.
And romance is what makes a relationship last forever.
Want to melt his heart without, y’know, having to be there and think of what to say? Put your thoughts about him down in a note and leave it somewhere for him to find.
Everyone loves to feel good, and to feel like someone is thinking about them. Try writing down exactly what makes him so special to you, and leaving it somewhere he’ll find.
You can leave it taped to the bathroom mirror, on the kitchen table – you can even tuck it inside his shoe for him to find when he slips his shoes on.
Whatever you do, remember the magic formula – put thought into it and make it personal to him, and you can’t go wrong.
Along the same lines as a romantic note is romantic texts – although they’re more direct. Think of them as the 21st century analog to the romantic 19th century note leaving.
Obviously – if you send him 5000 texts a day telling him how much you love him, it’s going to lessen the effect of each text (not to mention terrify him).
So instead, to maximize the impact, think of something really special, something that only you know about him, something that only he makes you feel, and remind him of it once in a while. When you’re feeling especially warm towards him, shoot him a quick text letting him know.
Guess what y’all – we’re going to keep being thoughtful. Like the title of the section. Because obviously.
A great way to be romantic is to do your partner favors – favors you know he’ll really appreciate.
For most people, laundry isn’t a huge deal. But if you know he hates doing laundry, then you know that he’ll love if you do it for him out of the blue.
That kind of thoughtfulness. Think of the chore or the task you know your partner doesn’t like doing, and surprise him by doing it for him. It’s the thought that counts – and it’ll go a long way.
Romance 101 Method 2: Creativity
Want some creative ways to express romance? We’ve got ’em! Piping hot, fresh out of the oven.
Well, they’re not out of the oven. But the first one is hot! (And steamy!) …I might have just misled you. Anyway, try writing “I love you” in places he wouldn’t expect it – like on a fogged up mirror in the bathroom for instance.
You could do it in sand on the beach, or in a tree near you – whatever it is, it’s a way to give him a surprise “I love you” when he’s not expecting it.
Did you know that you personally don’t have to be creative in order to express your romantic feelings with creativity? It’s true! You could let someone else do it for you instead.
Enter the mix tape. Why go through the trouble of writing poetry or music when you could let someone else who’s better at that express your feelings for you! Great idea!
Make your partner a mix cd that says exactly what you want to say about them, or is filled with songs that remind you of them.
Leave it for him where he’ll find it and rest easy in the knowledge that you’re creatively showing him how much you love him – without having to be totally creative.
Along the same vein – you could make a photo album or a scrapbook of things that are meaningful to you and your relationship with him – to show him how much you care.
Romance 101 Method 3: Spice Things Up
You know what the opposite of romance is? Well, me neither. It’s probably indifference or something boring like that.
But you know what really stands in the way of romance, and fits my metaphor? It’s letting things get stale!
Don’t let things get stale – it’ll kill the romance in your relationship. One way to keep things fresh is to have a lot of physical affection in your relationship – after all, everyone likes to touch their partner and be touched.
Even if you’ve been together for 20 years, make time to touch, kiss, caress, hold, cuddle, and hug each other. Try holding hands at a movie! Or just holding hands in general!
Thoughtful physical affection keeps indifference away – and keeps romance alive.
Along the same vein – you want to be thinking of new ways to express your love for your partner. That means switching out the same old compliments you’ve always given him and trying new compliments!
If you keep using the same compliments, eventually they’ll get stale, like old bread. And remember, old bread is exactly what we’re trying to avoid in this section. I mean staleness. Staleness is what we’re trying to avoid.
So occasionally take some time out of your day to think about why you love him – and how to express it in a new and fresh way. Doing that is one of the best ways to cause romance to bloom again in any relationship.
Don’t get lazy either! In lots of long-term relationships, the temptation to allow yourself to have an extra slice of cheesecake or let yourself go can be overwhelming.
And that’s totally normal! Cheesecake tastes good!
But if you want to keep the romance alive, you have to keep yourself looking good. That means no letting yourself go, even if you’ve been together for decades.
Not only will he stay very attracted to you – it’ll also inspire him to keep himself in shape as well.
Remember, this isn’t just about body. Don’t put the date clothes away just because you’re officially dating – far from it! Make sure to break out those sexy, saucy, first date outfits and take off the sweats to let him know you’re still making the effort to keep things spicy.
Along those lines is another super important principle – never stop dating each other.
Even if you’ve been “dating” for years and years and years, it doesn’t mean you should stop putting in the effort to dating each other.
When people stop putting in the effort in relationships, what does it lead to? That’s right – staleness. And we’re trying to avoid old bread here, remember?
So never stop trying to impress him! Never stop trying to seduce him! Never stop trying to learn more about him! And never stop dating each other.
That means going out on real dates. It means staying interested in each other, even if you know everything about each other.
It means being spontaneous with each other! Remember – being spontaneous is a great way to keep things from going stale. Think of it like the plastic bag inside the bread box – keeping the freshness alive in your relationship.
Romance 101 Method 4: Don’t Stagnate – Keep Growing!
cliché alert, cliché alert. You have been warned.
Life is a journey.
There, I said it. You can’t legally sue me, so don’t even try.
One of the most important parts of life being a journey is this – you can’t let it get boring. And you can’t let yourself fall into the rut of doing the same things over and over again.
That means getting out of your comfort zone. It means exploring new things you never thought you’d try.
It means trying new things with your partner and growing together.
So if you have something you’ve always been a little afraid to try – try it! Do something that gets your blood pumping! And most importantly, do it with him . There’s nothing more romantic than pushing your boundaries together and finding out that not only are you both fine – you’re thriving.
Plus, the above advice has an amazing side effect – you’re going to feel better about yourselves and each other.
In a lot of relationships, complacency can lead to a quiet, almost affectionate kind of contempt. You love your partner, but you know that he can’t do X, so you don’t even ask him to try anymore.
f. that. noise.
Pushing yourselves outside your comfort zones allows you to see each other (and yourselves) in a whole new light. You’ll be much more impressed with each other, and you’ll discover new things and traits to love about each other.
And it will obliterate any quiet contempt from fouling up your relationship from the inside. Good perk, that.
That means going after new interests together. It means putting yourselves in situations where you might feel embarrassed or out of place.
It means facing your fears together.
When you can do that, you’ll love your partner even more, and he’ll love you even more as well.
Take The Quiz: Are You Meant To Be Together?
How To Be Romantic
- Be thoughtful and do something that you know will mean a lot to him, because you know him well
- Give him something that you know will mean a lot to him and that he really likes (like tickets to go see his favorite band)
- Try a thoughtful date that you know he’ll like because you tailored it to his interests
- Leave him a note with your feelings for him
- Do him favors you know he’ll appreciate a lot and tell him it’s because you love him
- Make room for lots of physical affection in your relationship
- Never stop “dating” each other and keep the romance between you strong
- Grow with each other and evolve as people together, which means trying new things and avoiding stagnation