Exactly How To Talk Dirty And Turn Him On Without Feeling Embarrassed

Exactly How To Talk Dirty And Turn Him On Without Feeling Embarrassed

How to talk dirty… this topic is asked so frequently I decided to address it in an article. So many women write to me describing feelings ranging from: being uncomfortable about talking sexy, or feeling afraid of humiliation, or not wanting to look or think that you’re “that type” of girl?

You might be completely confused and lost about how to “talk dirty,” but for some reason you think “talking dirty” is what men need, secretly crave and desperately want.

Or you might be confused about what the right way is to talk dirty and don’t think you could do it without feeling very awkward and uncomfortable.

Even worse, you know that you’re not pleasing your man sexually (or at least, this is what you suspect). It would be so amazing to be able to just know how to be sexy, like some women naturally do.

Are you not “that type of girl?” who would ever talk dirty, which is why you can’t believe it’s even something you have to now figure out?

more: 30 Sultry, Sexy Questions To Turn Up The Dirty Talk Heat


Suspend disbelief for a moment and take a deep breath.

First of all, I want to make something clear: you do not have to embarrass yourself or humiliate yourself to “talk dirty” to your man. And it’s not something shameful or something only “those kind of girls do.

Talking dirty isn’t something you have to imitate from a porn script, either. In fact, if you watched porn and tried to talk like the women do… this would end up making him feel extremely uncomfortable at worst, and utterly indifferent and confused at best.

I’m going to explain to you exactly how to solve this relationship issue that can absolutely make or break a relationship.

Unfortunately, this is not a myth. You will understand why dirty talk actually represents a much deeper part of a relationship: the sexual relationship.

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

I will tie everything together at the end but for now, I want to take you through all the stuff you need to realize first before you can really grasp why the mindset that you have right now about “dirty talk” is actually going to sabotage one of the most important parts of a relationship.

I will also give you specific instructions on what to do and what not to do. I will reveal the fatal mistakes so many women make when talking dirty to their man that sends him into the arms of another women.

First, I just want to say:

Dirty Talk Isn’t Scary

Talking dirty is not scary.

It’s not supposed to feel like a chore, it is supposed to be fun and sexy and exciting for you, not something you agonize over and fixate about.

more: Try These 20 Dirty Truth Or Dare Questions For Adults

So, with that in mind…

What’s The Key To Dirty Talk?

The key is to say what feels natural. Say what comes to your mind!

You are more than capable of talking dirty. Trust me!

The entire topic is completely distorted by all the horrible bad advice out there (there is so much bad, misinformed information out there about how to talk dirty that ends up hurting, not helping, and scares women away from ever attempting to do it).

The reason talking dirty is often associated with being “that type of girl” is because society has horrible ideas about female sexuality that end up making women unable to freely express themselves.

Wipe the Slate Clean

This means you must abandon anything you believe about what it means to talk dirty. This is essential for you to be able to actually do it.

And by do it I mean in a way that will make your man so turned on his brain will not function. He will be so sexually satisfied by you that he will feel no need to look at porn, fantasize about other women-and god forbid, cheat.

more: The 12 Best Sex Positions For Incredible Pleasure

Don’t Force It… Ever

If you think because you read somewhere or watched something in porn where a woman said something outrageous that you have to imitate… nope, you are wrong.

This is actually a huge turn off if you try to imitate something that isn’t natural.

Pushing yourself or forcing yourself will come off as weird, and sometimes hilarious to the man. (for example, “call me daddy”)

I’m a man, and I’ve experienced this.

Now, this doesn’t mean to hold back. As a matter of fact, don’t hold back.

Society tells women to be chaste and “classy.” Well, this does not apply to the bedroom. The words trashy and slut should go straight out the window the second any intimate action begins.

If he’s turned off by you talking dirty… let’s imagine the worst case scenario… you talk dirty and he’s turned off by it… the moment is killed.

Later on, you catch him watching porn lustfully pleasuring himself, while you, an actual woman, are merely feet from him. He seems more than willing to participate with a computer, while completely shutting down on you.

Then screw him! You two are not compatible. Either that or he himself has been tainted by society’s twisted values of how a woman should be in all aspects. And that includes obviously the bedroom.

more: How To Turn Him On: 30 Sexy Things To Do With Him When He’s Naked

Most men hope that an angel in the streets is a freak in sheets

That duality is hot to men. Most men absolutely crave that. Trust me, it’s an unbelievable turn on for a man to watch an innocent kind woman transform into sexual being. To watch her carnal nature take control and literally override her conscience.

Talking dirty is not good, it’s great. But… only if it’s done right.

And by done right, I mean what feels the most natural, instinctual, comfortable, spontaneous, fun, and playful.

Don’t overthink it. Let the moment happen. Don’t focus on what he wants. Focus on what you want, and what feels good.

Spontaneous Is Sexy

Most girls know that a lot of the time the man will take control in the bedroom, but believe me, when a girl spontaneously transforms into the dominant role, or the initiator in where the sex is leading, it can be an unbelievable turn on for the man.

Plus, it’s nice for a man to be able to lie down and have a break for a minute or two, letting the woman take control.

more: Get Him In The Mood With These 15 Super Sexy Text Messages

The Fatal Sins Of Dirty Talking

What do I mean by “only if done right” is that if done wrong. Ohhhhhh boy. It can be a real disaster!

Let me tell you from personal experience! When you have a girl calling you daddy in a creepy forced way, and you’re not exactly into incest, trust me, as a man, that’s a boner killer right there, and even a relationship breaker.

I’m kind of exaggerating and making a joke but not really. I am trying to illustrate a point.

Now, please understand I am not trying to offend or insult anyone. If you find “daddy role play” to be a turn on, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

There is no good that comes from feeling shame (obviously with one caveat… that you are not hurting yourself, someone else or doing anything illegal, etc.)

Shame is actually the biggest roadblock stopping you from feeling free and comfortable expressing yourself in a “dirty” way.

Shame blocks you from doing what is actually the sexiest thing a woman can do: express what’s really going on in her mind, what is really turning her on and what she really feels.

Let me elaborate on what “comfortable is” or “natural”. Ironically enough for some guys calling them “daddy” IS a turn on. To me, it’s a deal-breaker turn off.

more: How To Talk Dirty Without Feeling Ridiculous

So what are the fatal sins?

  • Doing something fake or unnatural thinking it’s the way to turn all men on
  • Not doing what feels natural and comfortable
  • Imitating porn even though nothing you feel matches the words you are saying
  • Lying about what turns you on and faking it
  • Staying silent and being completely ashamed of your sexuality

All Men Are Different

This is what we have always been taught, that all human beings are different.

Well, think about dirty talk this way: there is no “right answer” to how to turn him on by talking dirty.

Why? Because certain things turn some men on that do nothing and potentially even scare away another man.

It’s almost impossible to create a clear set of “dirty talk” phrases that will work on all men but my goal is to make your love life as successful as possible so I have come up with a few general guidelines and one specific phrase that I would say work for most men.

more: Sex Advice: The Guide To Talking Dirty

The Dirty Talk Phrase That Will Work (Like Crazy) For Most Men

The phrase is… “I want you inside me so badly right now it’s crazy.”

In fact, saying anything about him being inside you is pretty much a good thing to say to a man you’re having sex with (or will potentially have sex with in the future).

Specific Dirty Talk Examples

ok, so as I have said many times… doing something uncomfortable or natural when talking dirty will not come across as a turn off.

Literally sticking to a specific script and using specific, pre-written phrases is not necessary but I know that lots of people want to know exactly what to do.

That’s why I made this list of specific things you can say to turn him on. It’s hard to say someone else’s words so I’m not going to tell you to say any of these exactly, these are just some ideas to get your imagination running wild.

Sometimes all you need is some examples to realize what you’d say.

more: Beginner Tips On How To Talk Dirty

Dirty Talk Examples To Get Your Imagination Going

  • Oh my Godddd
  • That’s so f*cking insanely hot wow
  • You turn me on so much
  • You make me so wet it’s not fair
  • I’m so wet right now it’s insane
  • My body reacts this way to you i can’t help it
  • Please don’t stop
  • I love when you’re inside me
  • Mmmmmmmm
  • Holy f*** that’s so hot
  • I’m fingering myself right now
  • I literally love having sex with you
  • Why are you such a turn on
  • I love when you cum
  • That feels so good
  • I wish this feeling could last forever
  • This isn’t fair why are you so hot
  • I love when you are hard and can’t help it
  • It’s so hot when you’re clearly turned on and hard
  • I would do pretty much anything to turn you on

Coy/Less Direct Dirty Talk Phrases

  • I randomly feel turned on right now I am not sure why
  • I can’t stop thinking about last night
  • So I’m definitely not wearing underwear
  • Text him: I am currently at work but can’t stop thinking about having sex with you

General Ways To Turn Him On Using “Dirty Talk”

  • Start off through very mild, innocent means of talking dirty
  • Bring up the topic of sex when you are not having sex so that it is more of a general conversation, not something specific
  • Mmmm, that feels so good I can’t believe it
  • Texting him something very mild (sexual innuendo)
  • If you are having sex and he is doing something that feels amazing, say it. Don’t exaggerate or try to sound sexy. Just say that feels so good, keep it simple.

The main takeaway I want to make sure you understand because it is so crucial is:

We are all different and turned on by different things. Period. That is a fact.

One form of dirty talk could be the key to that man’s heart, while that same talk could have another man running for the hills.

This brings me to one of the most important points about dirty talk…

Communication Is Key

The key in any relationship, be sexual, or strictly a friendship is communication.

What is the best way to talk dirty? Begin by asking him his biggest turn on!

Ask him what turns him on!

Mention something, anything, about the topic of dirty talk. Ask his opinion on it. Feel him out. Simply communicate!

Talk god dammit! Talk! Talk with your partner!!

Don’t pretend they’re some sort of alien that has no idea what sex is. Everyone knows what it is, we’re all here because of it. There is no such thing as perfection, even in sex.

It’s either good or bad. Simply enough.

The key to a healthy relationship obviously isn’t dirty talk, but ironically it could be the end of one, because you didn’t communicate.

Ask your man what he likes. I love asking my girlfriend what she likes, and pleasuring her is one of the highlights of my relationship.

This is something that should be an integral part to all sexual relationships. It should literally be a rule.

That’s how important it is to communicate what you are both sexually comfortable with.

Dirty talk to me, in my experience, when done right is always fantastic, and always heightens the mood… and I will be honest with you. I am extremely shy.

I would have never imagined myself enjoying a few dirty lines whispered into my ear while making love to my girlfriend. In the heat of the moment, experiencing dirty talk even brings out a different side of me.

Sometimes I will feel the woman’s free and uninhibited energy, and it is literally a contagious energy. And the sex is amazing.

Do me a favor. Talk dirty.

Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

In summary…

How To Talk Dirty Without Feeling Embarrassed

  • Don’t force it, only say and do things that feel natural to you in the moment.
  • Remember that when you do this it turns him on like crazy and he wants you to.
  • Allow yourself to be spontaneous and in the moment with him.
  • Say what comes to your mind and don’t worry about trying to be creative.

how to talk dirty without feeling embarrassed

39 comments… add one
  • Anonymous March 9, 2022, 6:15 pm

    So my boyfriend describes himself as “not a sexual person” and doesn’t like talking dirty or any kind of stuff..at all really. No porn, lingerie, toys. Nothing. I am trying to get him to communicate with me what he likes but he quite quickly shuts down and I get an “idk babe”…help

    • To Anonymous July 24, 2022, 1:44 am

      There are actually lots of men like you describe. I’m one of them. We were taught to speak using non-vulgar language, consider porn to be exploitative, and think toys are perverted. Lingerie is for women with more dollars than sense. The reason he won’t tell you what he wants sexually is … because it’s none of your damn business.

      You too are incompatible. He will not change, and neither will you. Dump him before he dumps you. Trust me, he won’t mind.

  • Deborah January 31, 2021, 9:00 am

    My man wants me to talk dirty but I don’t know how. He says he’s emotionally turned on but I’m not sure what that means. He has been alone for years and has had nothing but self release. I want to talk to him dirty but afraid it won’t be what he needs. Any help with this? Thanks.

  • Taylor rose September 8, 2020, 2:15 am

    I can’t do that it gonna sound some how or stupid for partner to easily ridicule.

  • Copperskins October 23, 2019, 3:28 am

    My partner LOVES when i talk dirty to him. It turns us both on equally. Sometimes he comes in 2 minutes, when we’re having phone sex. It turns me on knowing talking dirty to him, he finds erotic. Our biggest sexual organ is our brain, once we master that, the rest is history.

  • Mmouse November 28, 2018, 1:56 am

    What else do you do? Any more detailed tips? What works for you

  • Anonymous April 20, 2018, 7:31 pm

    I always feel awkward with this kind of stuff. What do you do then your partner says in the moment “talk dirty” I am not really a dirty talker and when my partner asks for it during sex I feel put on the spot because then he is just waiting for a response. It would be easier if he wanted it that he started and I said stuff back but when your partner asks you to talk dirty during activities IDK what to say without feeling forced and put on the spot.

    • SunRise July 29, 2018, 1:47 pm

      This is very similar to My circumstance. . I feel extremely awkward and verging on embarrassed. Quite similar to public speaking where it’s almost like tunnel vision and I want to shut down and run away. It’s very frustrating to feel this way and have this sense overwhelm me. My husband is obviously irritated with my inability. Feels like a loosing situation all around. Much like another response below, I know my husband isnt happy but it turns me off to be asked to talk dirty.

  • Rachael April 18, 2018, 3:09 pm

    I just can’t do it, I think i sound stupid and hate my own voice. I can tell my partner’s not happy that im always in mute which puts me off having sex.

  • Beauty Ink November 5, 2017, 10:30 pm

    Does this really work? I want to find a way to turn him on with him knowing i want him but we are both freaks… But he doesn’t like some of the things I like. I bought a sex swing he won’t try it out. He won’t even think about it. I bought handcuffs he won’t use them. I need help.

  • michelle May 16, 2017, 2:10 pm

    i’m gonna try this for sure!

  • theresa May 15, 2017, 3:59 pm

    i just did this and he loved it! guess i need to try even better ..haha!

  • regine May 10, 2017, 3:42 pm

    i used to feel embarrassed doing this, but my partner assured me i was doing great and that he loves it. i think now, i got even better and i enjoy it too. lol

  • skylar May 9, 2017, 5:58 pm

    i know he likes it when i do it. i’m just not really comfortable. but thanks for this, i guess i can try it the more natural way.

  • karen May 3, 2017, 1:40 pm

    OK, i won’t force it and try to let nature take its course until i get in the groove and everything feels natural

  • selena May 2, 2017, 5:48 pm

    im glad i read thru this article. i may have blown it if it weren’t for you! haha

  • marion April 30, 2017, 11:59 pm

    i got used to this in time, my partner loves it and he encourages me everytime

  • jess April 26, 2017, 2:18 pm

    this is really embarrassing for me. im a very shy woman especially in bed. i think my boyfriend will be shocked if he hears me say anything like this haha!

  • lucy April 24, 2017, 2:59 pm

    i’ve been wanting to try to do this but i’m too afraid to be embarrassed. i hope i can find the courage to finally do it this time.

  • donna April 20, 2017, 11:54 pm

    this isn’t my thing at all..but now im thinking maybe i can try pulling it off. my bf likes it but im too shy.

  • brittany April 19, 2017, 2:58 pm

    i have never been comfortable doing this. but my boyfriend assures me of how hot i sound everytime.

  • samantha April 18, 2017, 11:51 pm

    i will definitely try these tonight! hahaha!

  • meghan April 11, 2017, 1:51 pm

    i love it when you say “dirty is sexy”
    i hope my boyfriend thinks this way too.

  • shania April 10, 2017, 12:09 pm

    i love this, makes me feel more confident in bed!

  • jayden April 6, 2017, 10:07 pm

    nice tips! thanks for giving some samples & i hope it will help me improve my dirty talking skills lol! :)

  • caroline April 6, 2017, 8:18 pm

    my boyfriend taught me this and we’re enjoying it since (:

  • alyssa April 5, 2017, 11:58 pm

    i wish he gets turned on when i try this! lol

  • sheryl April 4, 2017, 9:19 pm

    i’ll definitely try this with my boyfriend. i can’t wait to practice lol! (:

    • Ariana Grande April 4, 2017, 10:48 pm


  • angelou April 3, 2017, 10:08 am

    i always feel embarrassed doing this but good thing my man appreciates it

  • alison April 2, 2017, 6:37 am

    i was too scared to dirty talk my bf before but after reading this article, it gave me confidence… can’t wait to try these tips soon! Thanks for sharing!

  • alizeh March 30, 2017, 8:53 pm

    im too shy to say something dirty, but i really want to turn him on.

  • jodie March 27, 2017, 12:01 am

    i’m too shy in bed but maybe i should try this soon

  • julianna March 23, 2017, 2:48 pm

    my boyfriend of 2 yrs taught me this and we have been having the best time since. :)

  • megan March 22, 2017, 1:56 pm

    i do this with my partner and he likes it a lot

  • carmela March 22, 2017, 12:07 am

    i love sexy time but i don’t usually do dirty talking. my man does it though..

  • zahra March 16, 2017, 11:33 pm

    i’m too shy to do dirty talking in bed but maybe i can try this one of these days (:

  • colleen March 15, 2017, 7:59 pm

    it is always important to say what you feel and to communicate when you are or not comfortable in any way

  • charmaine March 14, 2017, 7:37 pm

    it is really unusual for a lady to do the dirty talking. i guess when you get comfortable with your partner enough that’s when you can do this

Leave a Comment