How to Give Someone Space Without Losing Them (Or Losing Your Mind)

How to Give Someone Space Without Losing Them (Or Losing Your Mind)

In a relationship, giving someone space is extremely important. But how do you give someone space without losing them (or being torn up inside with fear, for that matter)?

Often in relationships, there will come a point when one of you needs space. If it’s not you (and he needs space), it can be scary and disheartening. It may even make you think there is something wrong with the relationship.

MORE: How To Give Him Space So That He Misses You And Comes Back

There probably isn’t anything wrong and that’s why you can become confused. You may find him pulling away from you or distancing himself which makes you question the whole relationship.

Perhaps your partner has said they need some space to breathe or you just feel like you both need it, it’s perfectly normal and healthy. Giving someone space does come with anxiety though and you might not want to lose them (obviously).

However, sometimes by giving someone space you two will come back even stronger. If you do give someone space and for whatever reason, they don’t come back, we have some advice for you at the end of this article, you’re not alone.

MORE: Here’s Why When He Pulls Away You Should Give Him Space

The famous saying goes that if you let something go and it’s meant to be then it will come back to you eventually. While this does happen, not everyone wants to let their partner go. It’s hard to face reality sometimes but it’s necessary in order to grow as a person. Giving someone space doesn’t mean you’re going to lose them, it just means both of you can work on yourselves and come back stronger. Having space may even make you realize how much you two love and want each other in your lives.

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Control Your Fears

Being fearful to let someone go is completely normal and everyone will have anxiety surrounding it. If you’re able to control your fears and anxiety, then this will help a lot to cope with giving space. If you find yourself trying to reconnect a day after you two have decided to take some time out, this isn’t going to be enough for them and it’s going to seem clingy.

The harder you get pushed away, the more you’re going to want to be with that person. It might even make you obsessed with your partner which isn’t good if they need space. Being able to stay sane while your partner is having some time to breathe might make you feel crazy, but you can do it, we believe in you!

MORE: Here’s Exactly What To Do When He Says He Needs Space

1. Stop Texting and Calling Him

Having space means actually having space. That doesn’t mean giving him an hour to think about your relationship before you start calling and texting him. While you’re going through this time, don’t text or call him unless it’s necessary. Texting is one of the worst things about a relationship because so much can be misconstrued. If you two aren’t seeing each other and he needs space, don’t attempt to squeeze yourself into his day by texting him none stop. The constant texting and calling may be the reason he needs space in the first place. You don’t want to mess this up and perhaps you need some time to yourself too.

MORE: Why Men Withdraw and Exactly What to Do About It

2. Make Your Own Decisions

When people get into relationships, they often leave their sense of individuality at home and become one. We wouldn’t recommend doing this anyway and especially when you two are having some time apart. Standing on your own two feet and making decisions for yourself will allow you to feel more independent and less attached to your love. Decision-making is super powerful, and it helps you to grow when you’re both apart and it may eventually help if you have to walk away too.

MORE: How to Give Him Space The Right Way

3. Focus on Yourself

Before you got with your partner you probably had a few great hobbies, right? Take this time in your relationship to refocus on yourself. Start back at the gym and eating healthy or take up a new hobby! Focusing on yourself will give you more confidence and show you that if it comes down to the both of you breaking up, you could deal with it. If you’re unhappy with yourself, such as your weight or another aspect, then do something about it. Focus on becoming better and loving yourself just as much as you love your boyfriend.

MORE: What to Do When He Says He Needs Space

4. Don’t Obsess Over It

Instead of thinking about the space between you two, think about other things. Obsessing over your relationship or the time away from each other will only make you want to go back to them before the time is right. This might even make you get in contact with them when all they need is a little time to themselves. If you think that social media will be an issue then turn them off for a day or two. It’s a surprise we aren’t all walking around crazy with how much we all depend on technology and social media these days.

5. Give Them Space

Reconnect with friends, try a new sport, work a little later, or do anything that will make you happy. This is the time to show how well you can hold yourself and that you can genuinely give them the space they need. Don’t convince yourself that you’re giving them space when you’re still texting or calling them. You need to completely free yourself of them for as long as they need then rekindle when they want too.

MORE: What It Means When Someone Says They Need Space

What Happens If They Don’t Come Back?

It’s a fear we all have when we give someone space from us, but the reality is that if it is going to work then it will, even if you two have had months apart. Relationships are meant to survive hardships and having space from each other shouldn’t affect the way either of you feels.

If you give someone space and they don’t come back try not to get too upset, it is scary and upsetting at first. Yet, it’s happened to so many of us, you’re definitely not on your own during this time. Talk to your family and friends to get everything off your chest. Then move on with your life, it’s best to start doing this whenever it’s suggested to give someone else space. Focusing on yourself is always the most important thing and moving on will only make things easier if it ever comes to the two of you going separate ways.

MORE: In True Love We Trust and Give Space

This article shows you how to give him space, now in any relationship I’ve found there are 2 pivotal moments that determine if your relationship ends in heartbreak or you get to live happily ever after so it’s vitally important that you take the next step and read this right now, because at some point the man you want is going to ask himself: Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? That answer determines everything… Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…

The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

In summary…

1. Stop Texting and Calling Him

2. Make Your Own Decisions

3. Focus on Yourself

4. Don’t Obsess Over It

5. Give Them Space

how to give someone space without losing them

43 comments… add one
  • Mathematician March 18, 2022, 1:31 am

    Ask the person how much space they need, if possible. Try to set a specific time frame for how long you’ll be apart, even if you just set a day to check-in with each other. Additionally, ask them what they expect from you, like limiting communication or avoiding each other in public. This empowers you to meet their needs and prevents miscommunication that could hurt the relationship. For instance, they might want you to stop all contact for a few days. This might include texting, social media, and in-person conversation. However, they may be okay with an occasional text as long as you give them time alone.

    • Mike August 24, 2022, 3:46 pm

      That’s hard to know when they don’t answer you.

  • Anna August 1, 2021, 12:34 pm

    We were in the middle of talking/arguing about how we weren’t happy and he asked for space in quotes “and I mean proper space” I really miss him it’s been two days now I caved and said “I will continue to give you the space you need but I really miss you and just wanted to tell you that” I feel this was the wrong thing to do I feel he is so angry at me over the argument when it was both of us , I’m anxious the space means overtime breakup he has made no effort to discuss the break or hope for the future he was adamant he was going to be happy again Because I’m anxious and insecure and it makes him down when I ask him stuff all the time I am bettering me now and I want him to trust it will be better , I’d like to believe he still loves me we have been together for a year now I can’t imagine how feelings can change overnight I Just hope he doesn’t get irritated and hot headed with my message as we talk everyday and this has been hard for me I want him in my life I can’t bare to imagine it without him , I hope we pull through he’s just very angry right now I don’t regret messaging at the end of the day I’m human and I miss him a lot .

  • Amanda April 7, 2021, 6:12 am

    So I made all the mistakes at the beginning. I texted but not everyday . More because I wanted to explain my side . And the way he left I did not know he need space he just walked out of my house one day and texted me a couple days later I need a few day to think things out . But as time went on I texted him less . It was never anything deep . He told me about his dog being sick so I just checked on that . Maybe shared a memory . But now I am scared me doing that push him away . I am now not texting him and writing to him in a journal everyday instead . But I hope the damage is not done . I really want to give him his space . But nothing from him is very scary .

  • :( February 13, 2021, 3:42 am

    I know this about romantic relationships but I’m going through this with a close friend and a lot of this article hits home. I’m trying not to obsess or over think every tiny detail…

  • Zippabeans August 20, 2020, 2:02 pm

    I tend to put my foot in my mouth…often. I may have pushed my gf away due to me being so overwhelmed with our long distance relationship. I just shut her out completely with out even acknowledging her feelings to how this may affect her. I really miss her so much and she’s really a gem. I feel like I sabotaged our relationship. I just want to be a better person for myself and her, but I don’t want to lose her… I’m lost in the sauce man. I want my lady back..

  • Reianne August 4, 2020, 4:09 am

    Recently, my bf became distant to me. He did not directly told me that he need space. He just told me that he dont want to talk to anyone. This article helps me a lot. I hope i got the courage to give the space he wanted.

  • Adeniyi John June 29, 2020, 1:56 am

    That’s very nice. Truly, for every successful relationship; giving of space is a priority. It may be for days, weeks but must not be too long to avoid the loosing of such relationship.

  • George December 15, 2019, 11:49 pm

    My girlfriend had asked me for space and it has been 2-3 months already. I now see that she is seeing someone else as we still talk because we have a child together. At this point, I feel like she’s already moving on as she doesn’t call/txt when he’s around and only txt me when she’s at her job. Which is confusing as she mentions that she needs more time?

  • User 1 August 27, 2019, 11:27 am

    Ok I landed here by curiosity and I am male. She run away from home due to a fight she started.
    She feel hurt I know and feel it. She ran away. A month now. She is not texting she is avoiding contact. She must be in pain and suffocated.
    I feel anxious and depressed. It is really hard. I really love her, she is my everything, the reason I breathe.
    For both of us is very hard, and drive us crazy for now. It is a normal feeling to try hard or very hard to get her back after she says I need space and take care of you. To be honest to me this is a clear message for adio. It might be or it might not happen. In the end we both need that SPACE, we need to have it, period. If she is coming back too soon, soon as well the fights will cone back. After 9 years together at work and home, people go crazy and suffocated. It is a natural reaction to fight over small arguments, being stressed and bored. The only issue is the circle of friends who are going to influence her judgement. You can not do anything about it as she just put you on hold asking space. I offer to her the space she is asking, I left the job and now the country.
    If it was for her a true love, she will probably come back. If not, you can’t force it.
    In the end you just have to respect her, whatever it takes. That is a true love.

  • Vanessa June 7, 2019, 11:30 am

    So I started dating him 3/31/19. We hit it off and he was the one pursuing me. Two months later he became distant but still letting me know he is thinking of me. We talked and I want to give him space and be there for him. He lost both parents 2/23/19. How long do I give him before I just let him go??? He said he wants to see me but he is so out of it now and it’s hard.

  • Tutu April 5, 2019, 4:22 pm

    He cheated on me some while ago and I found out twice that he lier about the identity of the lady which i I found recently then I questioned him again.he was pissed for going back to the past,it’s being 3 days space,I can’t get over him

  • martina October 10, 2018, 1:22 pm

    takes some time off, keep distance and don’t bother texting or calling. if you keep trying to communicate, it wouldn’t be giving him space at all and he’d feel like you don’t trust hi to be away for a while.

  • chenai October 9, 2018, 5:55 pm

    hmmm, why not deal with the problem instead of walking away? i don’t get the point of someone asking for space in the middle of relationship crisis. just my opinion.

  • frankie October 8, 2018, 1:31 pm

    i think i need to do this. my boyfriend has been dealing with a lot lately. im not happy about his lack of time for me and we sometimes end up arguing about it. maybe some space is what he needs, i just have to have that courage to go thru it.

    • A March 19, 2019, 2:36 am

      I have the same problem in long distance relationship. How did it happen and how did it end for you?

  • mia October 5, 2018, 5:48 pm

    my question was what will happen if he does not come back if i give him the space he wanted. i got the answers here though they were not really what i was expecting but yeah it’s a great help for me.

  • wilma October 4, 2018, 7:25 pm

    im just too afraid that he’ll get used to the space and distance between us, he might realize we’re better off like that. i don’t think i can bear that. oh my gosh!!

  • wendy October 3, 2018, 5:16 pm

    this is the perfect possibility to spend time on yourself. go meet some old friends and follow the hobbies that you like. just be happy! always believe that everything happens for a reason.

  • sally October 2, 2018, 5:23 pm

    wow, this is a brave thing to do and i don’t even think i could do it. i’ll try to really understand this and maybe try applying it and see where it takes me.

  • laura October 1, 2018, 11:54 pm

    i am really afraid of losing him. he is my life, he is everything to me and i cannot imagine life without him. should i really give him the space he wanted? argh kill me now!

  • gelli September 28, 2018, 5:02 pm

    the word “space” is kinda scary for me. i don’t really want to hear my guy asking for it because if he does, it means there is something going on and there is a strong possibility of him not coming back to me.

  • charie September 27, 2018, 6:18 pm

    i wouldn’t even think of giving my BF space. but now that you mention all the pros and cons, i understand a lot better. this is a game changer right here.

  • petr September 27, 2018, 9:18 am

    we had an argument about her posing half naked on social media and she deleted the pics but she went silent what should I do?

  • angel September 26, 2018, 6:53 pm

    can i really give my boyfriend that space he wants without losing him? should i ask him how long he is looking for space? gosh i am so scared right now.

  • zeta September 25, 2018, 1:30 pm

    accept the fact that even you need a break from the relationship sometimes. it first you feel like you want to be around every time but for your relationship to really grow, you need time alone. this will make you assess the relationship and if you still have the same direction. trust me, this is a healthy step.

  • maya September 24, 2018, 7:28 pm

    if he asks for space, give it. men do not need someone to control them. they know what they want and they have a better reason for anything that they ask for. this is just my point of view.

  • kendall September 21, 2018, 1:22 pm

    definitely don’t obsess over it. this will not only leave you stressed out, this will also make him feel like you don’t trust him to have a little space for himself. this will result to you losing him

  • marilyn September 20, 2018, 6:00 pm

    respect your partner’s decision to have space and let him know that you are always on his side no matter what. stick on the positive side so that you won’t lose your mind.

  • emilia September 20, 2018, 2:20 pm

    giving a guy some space takes a lot of courage. it’s just too big a risk because men are basically men and you know what they always say..they’re too weak or vulnerable with women and all that crap.

  • thalia September 19, 2018, 6:13 pm

    even couples that are deeply in love with each other need space sometimes. for me, this is never a bad thing. it will give both rooms to grow and discover new things.

  • victoria September 18, 2018, 2:27 pm

    oh gosh, i don’t think i could ever do this. but hey, if i ever get to the point where i had to, then maybe i can try.

  • zoey September 17, 2018, 6:48 pm

    my personal opinion, before you agree to spend some time apart by not meeting each other, try to fix things up. talk about what went wrong. if it didn’t work and he really ask for space then give it. it can be healthy for your relationship.

  • shanice September 15, 2018, 9:07 am

    do not let your fears take over you. just be firm with your decision and stay focused. do not overthink and just go as planned.

  • courtney September 13, 2018, 1:59 pm

    it is not my partner but me who needed space. i don’t really know how to tell him that i need to think about things first without him losing his mind. i hope i can find the courage to let him know.

  • toni September 12, 2018, 2:20 pm

    i may not lose him but i will definitely be losing my mind giving him space! haha
    i don’t know if i can handle this..we’ll see when we get there.

  • linda September 10, 2018, 6:35 pm

    for me, asking for space is never a good thing but love is also about respect. if my guy wants a space, i will give him to him wholeheartedly.

  • edith September 7, 2018, 10:30 pm

    for me, giving your partner space is necessary for a relationship. sometimes, a couple might feel suffocated in a relationship and this is why space is will allow couples time to process their thoughts and relax.

  • margaret September 5, 2018, 3:19 pm

    i can see signs that it is time to give my partner some space. honestly, i don’t know what to do. i am so confused. i am sure it will be difficult for the both of us and i don’t know if i can face my biggest fear of him not coming back…

  • isla September 4, 2018, 1:13 pm

    do not obsess over it. in anything, do not obsess because this will drive your man away. if you’re too controlling, your relationship won’t last long and it will drive him nuts.

  • mackayla September 3, 2018, 1:03 pm

    my partner said he needed space and i felt very bad about it. my friends say this is normal in a relationship and can be healthy too. i hope by giving him the space he needed, he will realize how much we love each other so we can come back even stronger.

  • dian August 29, 2018, 3:42 pm

    hmmm.. we can’t be sure for how to give someone space without losing them. it may sound easy but it is not! i’ve been there and it made me crazy!

  • feliz August 28, 2018, 2:12 pm

    this is a situation i am and never going to be good at all. i will definitely lose my mind thinking about what he’s doing, where he goes, who’s he with and all crazy things! i hope i can try this.

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