You’re here because you want to know the biggest mistakes women make that push men away.
Maybe you had something going with a guy – and then all of a sudden he disappeared on you.
Why? What happened? Did you do something wrong? Why’d he ghost?
If you’re racking your brain trying to figure out why he disappeared – don’t worry. I’m going to give you the biggest mistakes that push men away, so that you can avoid having a guy ghost you out of the blue.
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more: Why Do Men Pull Away?
Ready? Let’s start.
The 8 Most Common Mistakes That Push Guys Away
1. Overanalyzing Everything He Says And Does
When you don’t know how a guy feels about you, and you’re really interested in him, there’s a temptation to try to find ‘clues’ or ‘hints’ in everything he says and does.
After all, you really like this guy. You really want him to like you.
So you read into every word he texts you and watch him like a hawk when you’re with him, trying to figure out how he feels about you (without having to ask him).
more: The Top 3 Reasons Men Withdraw
The problem is, that kind of overanalyzing creates a dynamic between you that feels bad for him to be around and makes him want to ghost you.
It doesn’t feel good to be with someone who’s reading into every word you say. It makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells – one wrong move or wrong word could disappoint the person you’re with and poison the mood.
When he has to watch everything he says and does to avoid upsetting you (and he doesn’t know what will and won’t upset you), it won’t feel good for him to be around you. And feeling good when you’re around someone is the first step towards a more lasting relationship.
So if you’re overanalyzing the things he says and does, you’re poisoning your chances with him – and pushing him away.
2. Letting Negativity Rule Your Interactions With Him
It’s impossible to be positive all the time – occasionally (or more than occasionally) you’re going to be in a bad mood.
But your mood is the most important factor when it comes to a budding relationship with someone new.
Your mood is going to determine how he feels when he’s around you – which is going to determine whether he wants to spend more time with you or not.
more: Why Men Pull Away When They’re Falling In Love
It’s a law about human nature – people want to spend more time with people that make them feel good, and less time with people that make them feel bad.
The thing that controls whether it feels good or bad to spend time with you is your mood. If you’re in a good mood, and happy, relaxed, and comfortable, it feels good to spend time with you. When you’re in a bad mood, well…
The important thing to focus on is trying to be in the best possible mood when you’re with him, or when you’re writing him a text or talking to him on the phone. That way, your positivity will make him feel good, which will make him want to spend more time with you.
The other side of the coin is that negativity will make him want to spend less time with you, and drive him away (just like if he was overwhelmingly broody, negative, and in a bad mood, you wouldn’t have as much fun hanging out with him).
more: What To Do When A Guy Withdraws
3. Making Him The Center of Your Emotional Life
Relationships are a delicate thing. It makes sense to rely on your partner for emotional support – both people are there to help each other.
But it’s not good to rely on your partner too much. When you make him the center of your emotional life and let yourself depend on him emotionally (where you’re counting on him to put you in a good mood and are in a bad mood if you don’t get what you’re looking for from him), it’s enough to push him away.
That kind of emotional dependence is poison to both men and women at the beginning (and middle, and ends) of relationships.
more: Why Didn’t He Text Back?
The best way to avoid this mistake is to look at a relationship as something you bring happiness into, rather than extract happiness from.
That way, you won’t fall into the trap of depending on him to feel good, which will make him feel like he’s being burdened by being responsible for your emotional state and push him away.
4. Playing Games And Bringing Drama Into The Relationship
Guys don’t like drama. They don’t like complicated.
Guys like simple.
more: Why Did He Withdraw After Sex?
There’s a temptation to think that you have to make a guy chase after you in order to snag him and keep him interested. 99% of the time, when a woman tries to play that game, it winds up blowing up in her face.
That’s because the way to keep a guy’s interest isn’t to make him jump through hoops or generate drama between you. Guys hate drama – it actively turns them off and makes them want to disengage.
So try to avoid drama and playing games when you’re with someone new – it’s a mistake that will push him away.
more: What To Do When A Guy Withdraws
5. Expecting Him To Read Your Mind
This is one of the biggest mistakes women make (all through relationships) that causes men to shut down and not want to engage.
Expecting him to know what’s wrong, or to know why you’re upset without telling him, is a surefire way to get him to disengage emotionally and push you away.
When a woman is honest and upfront with a man, and tells him what he did that bothered her – it’s hugely refreshing for him. It lets him know that she’s more interested in solving the problem than in punishing him for upsetting her, and it lets him know that he’s with someone special.
Making him guess what’s wrong accomplishes the exact opposite of that. It exasperates him, makes him want to move away from you rather than towards you, and pushes him away.
more: The Exact Signs A Guy Is Pulling Away
6. Creating A Goal Of “Getting Him To Commit”
Commitment and committed relationships happen when two people really enjoy spending time with each other and realize that they’d rather spend time with each other than with any other potential partner.
The way to get there is to make spending time together feel as good as possible for both of you – which we’ve already talked about. It means being in the best mood you can be in when you’re with him and enjoying the time you spend together by being in the moment with him.
When you make a goal (consciously or unconsciously) to try to get into a more serious relationship with him, all of a sudden you’re not living in the moment with him. You’re looking towards the future and trying to make the future you imagine happen.
more: The Real Reasons Why Men Disappear
That means that you’re not really being present when you’re with him – everything you do is unconsciously slanted towards accomplishing your goal.
And by the same token, everything he does that makes you worried about your goal happening is going to make you upset and ruin the dynamic between you.
So try to avoid having any “goals” about the future of your relationship – just enjoy the time you spend with each other as much as you can and let whatever will happen between you happen. Otherwise, you could wind up unconsciously pushing him away without even realizing it.
more: Why Guys Pull Away After Sex
7. Trying To Keep Him Interested By Waiting On Him Hand And Foot
Here’s a harsh truth about this world: if you don’t respect yourself, other people won’t respect you either.
Respect has to start from within. You can’t get someone else to respect you and treat you with dignity unless you treat yourself with dignity first. Having self-respect demands that other people treat you with respect as well.
Many women (and men) fall into the trap of thinking that if they cater to their partner’s every whim, and do whatever he or she wants, it will make their partner like them more and put in more effort.
more: Why Won’t He Call You His Girlfriend?
In fact, it does the opposite. When he sees that you’re willing to do whatever he wants without demanding an equal effort from him, it makes him less likely to put in effort, not more.
People treat things that are given to them for free as having less value, not more. If you fall into the trap of waiting on him hand and foot without any reciprocal effort from him, it pushes him away and makes him less likely to step up and want something more with you.
more: 10 Things Women Do That Drive Men Away
8. Judging Him Or Trying To Change Him
At its heart, a great relationship is all about compatibility.
Compatibility means that each person likes the other person for who they truly are – for who they are when they’re being totally genuine.
It’s not as easy as saying “just like him for who he is” – you have to actually, genuinely like him for who he really is. If you don’t, it will come across unconsciously through your behavior and your reactions.
more: Things That Push Guys Away
The same thing holds true for him – this is a two way street.
So when a woman judges a guy, or shames him for his actions and tries to get him to change, it gives him a huge shove away from her – especially if he was being genuine in that moment.
Obviously, if he does something that upsets you then you should tell him that it did and explain why. But if more and more, when he’s relaxed and being his “genuine” self around you, and you don’t like that person – it’s a huge sign that you’re not compatible.
more: 6 Things Women Do That Scare Men Off
Trying to change someone else never works – people are who they are. If you try to change him, all it will accomplish is pushing him further away from you.
Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…
Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?
8 Huge Mistakes Women Make That Push Men Away
- Overanalyzing everything he says and does.
- Letting negativity rule your interactions with him.
- Making him the center of your emotional life.
- Playing games and bringing drama into the relationship.
- Expecting him to read your mind.
- Creating a goal of “getting him to commit”.
- Trying to keep him interested by waiting on him hand and foot.
- Judging him or trying to change him.
This can be dangerous if you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist. They force you to analyse their behaviour and you desperately want them to change. When you’re walking on eggshells wondering who you’re going to be with from one day to the next and then you experience the love bombing. With time they turn you into all of the above things and then when you realise what’s happening and you leave, you question your version. This article makes assumptions that all men are wired one way but they most definitely aren’t.
Okay my situation is totally unique and I don’t ever get to the point where men withdrawal but I don’t really care like I have a problem with when I meet a guy okay from the beginning I feel like you know there’s nothing there ever men aren’t really attracted to me in any way ever and so it never gets anywhere ever and I don’t really care like I don’t want a relationship like that so I don’t force anything on anybody I don’t text or call them ever I wait until they call me or text me I don’t ever approach him I don’t ever bother them about what they’re doing where they went how long they’re going to be gone if they’re ever going to come back I basically don’t give no f**** at all so I don’t know what I’m doing wrong because I don’t do none of those things that women do to push men away yet none of them still are attracted to me
reading all this today i think i need to stop being the way ive been lately to my partner hes helped me though loads off hard times hes got me to where i am now and i need him to see im so happy to be with him he can see how much i love him its just the way ive been lately to lose him will break my heart and im in love with him so much defo will been with him one year and tomonths and hes the best boyfriend ive been with hes a hard working man and supports me though a lot so reading all this today as i helped me as i have been pushing him away a little i feel so bad but i no what mistakes ive mad in reading all this hes one in a million and i cant ask for anythink better in my life god i loves him so much as my partner had a chat with me this morning and said the reason why he wont make love with me is because i have been pushing him away lately he loves me but its just the way he feels at the mo and he cants make love to the person he loves because off the way ive been lately and now i understand so time to appreciate him more and stop being horrible he do ask me how i am at times and i say nothing is the matter when there is but he noes when there is somethink wrong with me and when he do try and talk to me i shout at him when im talking i cry a lot sometimes to and he will ask me whats wrong and ill hide my face and say nothing for a second then ill say goo away im fine but i have to stop being like this as if i lost him will break me so much so time to show him i am a good gf and show him more n speak more to him and anythink elsh
A big thank you for writing this. It’s similar to what I have been going through and wondering what I can do to fix it. I realize that I need to relax and focus more on me rather than my partner.
We women must take correction always to a happy and lasting relationship.
May we women have wisdom and correct your mistakes, to enjoy a long lasting relationship.
Women learn form your Mistakes so you have a long lasting Relationship with all the Men
May God help Us the Men(Women)
I hope all women read this.
I hope my wife read all of these hints, before its too late. We are married for 16 years and I’m experiencing all these in our long relationship.
i’m so guilty of these things..i don’t want to lose him so i’ll be more careful and mindful of his feelings too.
impossible and unreachable expectations can kill everything you’ve worked hard for. do not expect the same commitment from him. wait for him to do it on his own, it will be much sweeter.
never even for 1 second think of changing him. you can never do that. if that’s gonna be your goal, you are in for disaster in the end.
don’t expect too much from you man. and don’t even expect him to read your mind and know what you want and feel each time.
i think at some point we’re all guilty of these mistakes. lol
do not overanalyze things or issues in the relationship. it will ruin
expecting a man to read your mind is the greatest mistake you’ll ever make
take note of this list and make sure not to do them or you’ll be doomed to being single again.
i made a mistake of always judging him and having too much expectations and everything just crumbled.
never welcome negativity in your life, ms especially in your relationship if you’re hoping for it to last
very important information every woman needs to know
overanalyzing things and overdoing them will do more harm than good.
men do not like being judged nor changed, i mean who wants that? if you want you relationship to work, don’t be a control freak.
it’s tough and almost impossible not to fall for these mistakes. thanks for the advice!
don’t overthink and overanalyze everything your man does. this will not be helpful nor healthy for you both.
thse are really common and women need to see this to prevent pushing men away
women need tosee this and follow your advice for better relationships
expecting him to read your mind will only make everything worse.
wow, i’m ridiculously guilty of these! oh no, i feel bad! haha
drama pushes away men, women need to understand this. stop unnecessary drama and your man will appreciate it.
2. Letting Negativity Rule Your Interactions With Him
– this is the best lesson for me.
this is a must-read! talks about reality
i agree, overanalyzing things will only do you harm. this happened to me. :(
also, never nag him!
you may think that you’re being a good girlfriend by making him the center of your life and devoting yourself to him. but think again, men are not the same as we are. this freaks them out actually especially if you’ve only known him shortly.
a serious guy would hate games and drama. don’t do this, ever!
trying to change him isn’t gonna work for you, you’ll only push him away and he’ll hate you for doing so.
we do not realize sometimes we’re the reason why men gets pushed away. this is an eye opener.
it is common for women to overanalyze things especially when the guy stars to act weird.
these are too common and yet we always fall for them. this is a great article for us to really be more careful.