You’ve probably heard it a million times in a million different ways. Men need their space and they love the chase.
But how do you combine these two things so that you have him pursuing you like crazy and putting in the effort to lock you down?
Stick with me as I expose why men respond to distance, why men pull away, why men hate it when women don’t give this and how to “pull him to you like a super-powered magnet” using my reel in technique.
If you do not know the “Reel him in technique,” he will ultimately pull away and you lose the man you love for good.
Giving a man space is crucial to this working and by the end you’ll know how to give him space and make him miss you.
Let’s dive right in…
Watch The Video: Why Men Respond To Distance
Men Respond To Distance Because It’s A New Vibe
Distance really boils down to having and giving space. It’s at the heart of any good relationship. The solution here is to give men space and use that time to actively work on yourself.
The reason why men run hot and cold, why they respond to distance, why he stops pursuing you and starts pulling away all boils down to not knowing how to give him space.
Most love advice, dating tips do not cover solid solutions for women that actually work when trying to get love, have better dating opportunities and forge happy, healthy relationships.
Most women cheat themselves out of experiencing love because they interrupt a man’s process of falling in love. Men fall in love in your absence, when they’re away from you by themselves. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
You have to give him space to miss you and process his emotions. Men work out their emotions in private, which is why it’s so important giving him space to figure out what he wants.
But what do you do when you’re giving him space? Focus on yourself and living your own happy life that you love! It’s that simple.
Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?
Space is a key ingredient to having a successful relationship. It makes him feel safe by giving him the room he needs to breathe and process his emotions (including his feelings of love for you).
Here’s a key to understanding this whole “giving space” thing. A lot of times in pop culture you hear things like “Men don’t want to be in a relationship because they don’t want to ‘lose their freedom’.”
NO! This is not actually what men want or are afraid of. In truth, men just want a relationship where they can feel comfortable and be given space as needed in the relationship.
The popular misconception that men want to run around being single forever is NOT true! What men are really talking about with that is they don’t want to lose is being able to have uninterrupted space in their life when they need it.
Men need space sometimes. It’s good for them and good for your relationship! It can’t be any more simple than that. This space is the “freedom” that society says men “need” and are afraid to lose.
The key thing to understand here is that it’s very easy to give him space when you have your own happy life to focus on and you’re not relying on the relationship to fulfill that for you.
Learn to see needing space as an opportunity instead of an obstacle. Knowing how to give your man space will make all the difference in the way he sees you as his dream woman and partner.
The real problem is not the guy wanting space or giving your guy space. It’s natural for a man to want some space to himself (especially if he’s going through something emotional or stressful).
It’s easy to give a guy space unless you’re worried that giving a guy space will lead to something bad happening. This worrying itself leads to bad things happening because you feed that negativity into the relationship and end up pushing him away.
Now I know you might say, “Well, if I think something bad is going to happen if I give him space, how can I not worry?”
Let me give you an example to illustrate how this worrying can end up destroying your relationship…
You meet this guy and you’re single and happy. Your vibe is good because there’s no pressure on your dynamic. There’s no heaviness. There’s no burden and weight on him to have to be some specific way, do specific things, say specific things a specific way.
It feels good to be around you and he’s attracted because your vibe is good (thus it feels good to be around you) and your relationship feels good.
Here’s where it can all go wrong (this is where so many women make a huge mistake that puts their relationship on track towards failure).
They get excited about the guy becoming their boyfriend. They build him up in their mind, have fantasies about how the future will turn out, obsess over him, want to possess him, expect him to fulfill their hopes and dreams of having love and a relationship in their life.
Without realizing it, they are putting tons of pressure and expectations on themselves, on the guy, and on the relationship. This is where it all goes wrong.
Now, instead of the relationship being light and easy, it needs to live up to some kind of ideal or expectation. Instead of you being able to be present in the moments you’re together with him, you are caught up in your head. You feel this constant need for the relationship to get somewhere, you need something to happen, you need him to be a certain way, do certain things, etc.
Instead of things unfolding naturally, you are trapped in this cycle of constantly trying to force things to be some other way than they naturally are and you’re worried and disappointed that they aren’t happening.
This kills your mood and it makes the relationship feel like a total drag instead of the fun, light-hearted vibe it had in the beginning.
And here’s the worst part of it all… you can sense that the relationship is getting worse and he’s drifting away, so you start to worry you’re losing him and you crave reassurance he still wants you and the relationship.
So you try to do and say things to get reassurance from him that he’s still interested in you and still wants the relationship to work out like you want.
However, you never really feel reassured. If he does reassure you, it’s never good enough because deep down you still feel like something is terribly wrong.
And if you don’t get that reassurance, you feel even worse and push harder for it and go to even more extremes to get it! Sooner or later, after smothering and clingy to him with this fearful energy, he ends up leaving (or at the very least tries to put some distance between you).
It’s exhausting to be around someone who is constantly in a negative state like this. Eventually he will be completely drained and the relationship will end on a sour note.
Where did that woman go who was so attractive and easy to be around? Your attractiveness ends the moment you build the relationship up in your mind as something he has to “live up to” in order for you to feel happy and fulfilled.
So when you’re telling me you’re worried that something bad will happen if you give him space, I have to ask you, “Shouldn’t you be a lot more worried if you DON’T give him space?”
Let’s talk about what to do to fix all this and how to give him space in a way that works to bring him back and make your relationship stronger than ever.
What To Do When A Man Is Pulling Away And ‘Needs Space’
I’m going to tell you exactly what not to do, so that you don’t push him away even further and turn a short break into a relationship-ending nightmare.
You have to know how to give someone space without losing them and that includes understanding what not to do so that you don’t damage your relationship beyond repair.
Whatever you do, don’t go chasing after him. Don’t text him a lot, don’t call him, don’t message him on social media, don’t look to him for validation or reassurance. Let him take the space he needs without you reaching out to him and re-inserting yourself into his life.
Don’t let fear of losing the guy end up destroying your relationship!
When you started seeing this guy, you weren’t worried he was going to leave you. You weren’t worried that you were going to “lose something” you had.
If you’re currently worried about your relationship, this just goes to show you that you now think you have something you can lose. Your mindset changed into a negative thought pattern and this “fear of loss” mindset will sabotage your relationship.
What happens is that the more you think about losing the guy, the worse you feel and the more you want these negative feelings to be resolved. So you start acting differently as your negative emotions are now driving the ship. Instead of your own enjoyment being your guide in the relationship, your negative mindset is working on undoing everything and undermining the security you once felt in your relationship.
Your fears of losing him make you want to control him because you’re afraid if you don’t, you might lose him. When people feel like someone is trying to control them, they instinctively pull away.
Similarly, if your thoughts are dominated by fears of losing the guy, your mood will make you not fun to be around. Instead being light, easy, and fun, the mood is paranoid, suspicious, and gloomy. When you’re mood comes off that negatively, people pull away from that and don’t want to be around it.
Plain and simple, people don’t want to feel like they’re being controlled and they don’t want to be around someone who’s in a bad mood. That’s not just a guy thing… that’s a human thing!
What Should You Actually Do To Keep Him By Your Side?
So what’s the solution to all of this? How do you know when to give him space and how to give a guy space so that he misses you and comes right back into your open arms?
First, it’s important to say that it’s completely normal for a guy to want some space, and it’s completely normal to give him space. As I said before, if you try to control him or make him stay with you, it’s only going to drive him further away.
Most guys need time and space in order to start to feel closer and more connected with a woman. That’s why clinging to him and trying to pull him closer is going to backfire every time. It’s like trying to squeeze a cat tight to your chest and make him love cuddling with you. He’ll just push and scratch to get away but leaving him alone will result in him coming back to you when he’s ready.
And that’s why giving him space will make him miss you and make him more likely to come back. Giving a guy space is part of his process for falling in love and staying in love with you and you don’t want to interrupt that process!
The big secret is being happy about giving them space and seeing it as a good thing for your relationship. It’s a matter of perspective!
When you understand that a guy needing space is part of his way of processing emotions, it’s a lot easier to let a guy have his process because you no longer take it personally. He doesn’t want space to get away from you… he wants it so he can have his process!
If He’s Looking For Some Space, Let Him Have It
You don’t know the exact reason he wants space and that’s OK. You can use this as a lesson for yourself to learn to be OK with not knowing what is on his mind at the moment.
Like I said before, men want space to sort out their feelings and then, when they’re ready, they’ll re-emerge from their shell and reconnect with you. It’s best to consider this a sacred and private process for men and it’s important to men that their partner understands how important it is for them to have space when they need it.
If he needs a day, give him a day. If he needs a week, give him a week.
What should you do in the meantime?
Use this as an opportunity to bring your mood up and fill your life with happy, enjoyable, and positive things. Do things you love doing. Connect with your friends and loved ones. Do anything and everything you can do to feel great, feel appreciative for the good things in your life and feel happy.
Gratitude is a great way to focus on all of the positives you’ve got going on and once you start, it’s not hard to see how much good stuff you’ve got in your life.
This is actually even more important than giving the guy his space for two reasons:
- If you’re doing things to enjoy yourself and improve your mood, what are you not doing? You’re not worrying! And if you’re not feeding into the fears, the negativity and the worrying, it won’t feel like torture to just leave him alone and give him space.
- You’ll be in a good mood when he does re-emerge, which will likely lead things in a better direction. Having a great mood is like a super-charged magnet in your relationship!
Your good moods will pull things in a good direction and your bad moods will pull things in a bad direction… so if you ever needed a more of a reason to be in a good mood, do it for your love life!
Ironically, men often need space so that they can be in a good mood within the relationship, too. Knowing how to give a man his space includes the understanding that everyone has their process, and relationships work best when both partners understand how to be in a good mood and bring that good mood into the relationship.
If there’s a problem in the relationship that needs to be worked out, so be it. You’ll give him space and then see what happens from there. Oftentimes you might give a guy space and he works the problem out himself and it’s no longer an issue! Or, he comes back and brings up the problem and, if you’re in a good mood and an open state, you can really listen to each other and work it out.
Either way, your best bet is to give him space and work on being your best, happiest self so that when he comes back around, you can resume your relationship on the best foot going forward.
Of course, giving him space is really just the first step… but when it comes down to it there are 2 big problems every woman experiences in her relationships with men – so pay attention because what you do next is vitally important. The first problem you’re probably going through: if you’re already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold, or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
The second problem is this: do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman
Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…
Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?
- Men respond to distance because it’s a new vibe
- Don’t chase after him to calm your own fears
- Let him process his emotions in his own space
- If he’s looking for some space, let him have it