In this article, I am going to discuss how to stop being clingy in a relationship, and discuss the signs that you may be a clingy partner, how you can stop being clingy once and for all, and lastly why men pull away!
So, let’s start by discussing why clinginess is not healthy in a relationship or when dating. When you become clingy in a relationship, it’s as though your lifeline depends on your partner which can give your partner full control and in turn you start losing control of this relationship.
Clinginess lies behind insecurities which is something to pay attention to. Start by figuring out why this is showing up for you. For example: maybe you’ve been cheated on before, you worry about losing your partner, you love them so much you couldn’t picture life without them.
These are just a few of several reasons why this may be happening to you. But the two things that will help you become more aware is to understand that you have complete control of controlling your fears so you can stop living in this fear-based mentality. Secondly, set yourself free through forgiveness for anything that has happened in the past.
This is incredibly important so you fall out of the victim mentality which releases attachments and you gain control of your emotions. Once you’re able to let go and feel 100% secure you won’t look to your partner to validate who you are anymore. True validation comes from within and when you see you’re enough, is when you truly shine in a relationship and detach from the clinginess that you may be dealing with now.
When you’re clingy with your partner this can lead to a feeling of resentment because ultimately it creates the opposite effect of what you both long for. This behavior can leave your partner feeling trapped, suffocated, overwhelmed, and smothered.
Think about the times that you’ve possibly suffocated your partner because of your clinginess. Did this make you feel good? Probably not, and when things don’t go your way you might act out of fear where the best decisions aren’t made. The worse decisions and behaviors come from a place of fear like texting your partner a million times, calling a bunch of times, not giving them space, and saying things you don’t mean but can never be taken back. Here are some tips on how to stop being clingy.
Be yourself and maintain your authenticity- do something you love. Involve yourself in activities that you’re passionate about, and that fulfills you and ultimately makes you happy. It’s okay to have your own opinion from your partners, so you continue to maintain a separate identity and healthy boundaries.
Be mature- If your someone who reacts instead of process why these feelings are coming up for you then this needs to stop now. Ask yourself, am I acting out of anger before you approach the situation. Also, checking in with yourself to make sure that you own the process of maturity in your relationship. When you take control of this, you lead by example and this formulates a foundation for a healthy relationship.
Stop begging and latching onto your partner- this is not attractive to anyone. Maybe in the beginning, if you are trying to be cute but it’s not when you’re with your partner for the long term. It’s essential that your partner sees the individual aspects of yourself.
Have a fulfilling purpose- what is your dream? What is your passion? What gets you up in the morning and what motivates you? Focus on this purpose of yours. Even if you can’t 100% give your time to it make sure you take baby steps towards it. If you have the opportunity to step into your purpose then now is the time to start!
Stop listening to your self-deprecating comments- I like to call this your ego. This is when that little birdie is whispering things in your ear that lead you to think of the worse things that can happen in your life or in this relationship, and you act off the emotions instead of the true actions on what is going on in your relationship.
Own your power- understand your value and what you give to your partner. Here is a start. Write down the amazing qualities about yourself and own them. People are usually attracted to an emotionally stable person, so become aware of how you enhance your partner’s life as this will build your confidence. After all, they choose to be with you because they noticed something special about you anyways.
Be social- go out with friends and do things that don’t involve your partner. This can be a night out with friends or family, and maybe even plan a trip. This is a time that you can enjoy your hobbies so you can keep that healthy mentality.
Self-Care- this has a lot to do with your alone time but do the thing that make you feel good. This could be a warm bubble bath, doing your nails, reading a book, watching sports, working out, listening to music and dance when no one’s looking. Getting used to spending time alone and enjoying it is vital and crucial to every relationship. Self-care is the most significant reward you can give yourself when it comes to life!
Remember, you can change this, and your partner is not your lifeline. Love isn’t about being clingy and hanging on to someone for dear life. Love is ultimately supposed to enhance your life and make you a better person. I hope this article gave you more resources to understand what you need to do moving forward to stop being clingy. Remember the answers lie within you, and you can change this as long as you take ownership to put yourself first. True love is experienced when you can love and respect yourself first. If you’re looking for that one person to change your life, then you should turn around and look in the mirror because that’s YOU!
Dating & Relationship Coach