Searching For Love?

Searching For Love?

We have all been there. We try to make a guy like us. The more we try, the less they like us. Why? Because we aren’t being ourselves.

The best way to attract a guy is to be you. Most men want a woman who is confident, stands up for herself and knows what she wants.

We are happier when we love and respect ourselves. The stronger our self-esteem is, the more attractive we are to men. The more needy we are, the more available we make ourselves and the less authentic we are. When we are needy it is like fishing in the ocean without any bait on our hook. We feel we have to go find a man.

Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Are You Ready For Love?

When you are comfortable being who you truly are, men are drawn to you like a magnet.

Most women look for a relationship to make them happy, when it really is the other way around. No one can make you happy but you. The happier you are with you, the more attractive you become. Your inner beauty begins to radiate outward making you a magnet for men and love.

Love comes from inside us. If we don’t love and approve of ourselves, we feel empty, lost and search for love outside of ourselves. If we are miserable being alone, we won’t be much happier in a relationship. We think we will be happy once we have a relationship because it is what we see on television and in movies. The temporary happiness we might feel in a relationship will go away at the first sign of trouble.

How can you tell if you love and approve of yourself? People that love themselves have the following traits.

How To Tell If You Love Yourself

  1. You focus on the positive traits in you, rather than the negative.
  2. You love yourself unconditionally. You lovingly embrace your flaws and faults knowing you are a work in progress. You don’t try to be perfect. You also accept others as they are.
  3. You feel good about yourself no matter what your weight is or whether you are in a relationship or not. You are happy with you.
  4. You take good care of yourself getting plenty of rest and eating healthily.
  5. You aren’t concerned what others think about you.
  6. You are authentic, the same with everyone, rather than a chameleon that changes with each person you are with. You won’t fake or lie about liking something when you don’t.
  7. You feel complete and happy on your own, rather than looking for someone else to fill your emotional needs.
  8. You are happy as you are and don’t try to change or fix others.
  9. You honor yourself. You won’t do things you don’t want to do, just to keep a guy.
  10. You have self-respect. You won’t stay in a bad relationship because you are afraid you won’t find anyone else.
  11. You know your value.

how to tell if you love yourself

Love begins and ends with you. If you don’t love you, how can you expect anyone else to? We can’t show up looking for a relationship expecting someone else to fill us up. We have to fill ourselves up with love first.

Think of your mind as a magnifying glass. Whatever you think about expands. Focus your thoughts, and attention on your positive traits. No one is perfect, however when all you think about is what is wrong with you, you are magnifying the negative rather than having lovingly embracing all parts of you.

Think of all the things that you love about you. Even if you can’t come up with five things, look deeper. “I love my skin, hair, nails, legs, eyes.” Rather than standing in front of the mirror in the morning picking apart your face and body, begin to tell yourself, “I love my face. I love my body. I am beautiful.” Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Even if you don’t believe it at first. Your unconscious mind is like a computer. It will reprogram itself with consistent positive input.

It takes 30 days to change a pattern, so don’t give up after one or two days. Mantras have been used for thousands of years to heal the mind. Use a mantra before you go to bed at night like, “I love me.” Repeat it when your mind is in neutral, in the shower, driving, putting on your make-up.

What you put in your mind will also come out. You will find yourself feeling happier and more positive when you begin putting positive thoughts into your unconscious mind.

Rather than searching outside of you for someone else to love you, begin spending time getting to know what you want, what you love and what you don’t. Do what you love to do, rather than waiting for someone else to take you or go with you.

Do things that make you happy every day. Happy people please themselves with small things. Take a walk outside in nature, a visit to a park, exercise. Take care of you. The happier you are the more attractive you will be to men. Pretty soon you won’t be worrying if you can find a man, instead you’ll wonder which one should I pick?

Questions for Jennifer? E-mail her here, privately:

About the Author:

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is an author, compassionate and powerfully intuitive healer who uses her inner wisdom to assist women find love. Her personal healing journey from past trauma and personal self-esteem issues gives her incredible insight to where you are on your path. With a certification in Hypnotherapy and Training, Love and Happiness coach, Master Energy healer, Akashic Records, Jennifer has the ability to see you at a soul level, cutting to the root of your issues quickly.
Check out for the radiance that you are. Her blog is

Want to find out if you’re truly ready for love? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Are You Ready For Love” Quiz right now and find out if you’re REALLY ready for love…

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29 comments… add one
  • Emmanuel December 8, 2019, 5:57 am

    Am 46 years of age. Am single without any girl to call my own. I will learn from here

  • Lubega silver September 25, 2019, 2:27 pm

    Serious woman

  • Mamie Bourgoin December 1, 2015, 12:38 pm

    You cannot focus on the bad or the negative. Men can see that a mile away and that is usually the reason they are not going to approach you. Get that figured out and you will be in good shape!

  • Christie Merchant November 26, 2015, 10:02 am

    When you take a minute to step back and make sure your are in a good place yourself, things will come easier for you.

  • Maria Espinoza November 25, 2015, 9:28 am

    After I was single for a few years, I started to feel like I needed a guy. I wrote down the things that I had hoped to have in a man and started there. That is a great tips!

  • Eileen Mitchell November 24, 2015, 9:37 am

    What goes in, must come out. That is a good way of putting it. Thanks!

    • Jennifer Petro November 30, 2015, 9:45 am

      that is a good point. if you are not going to put 100% of yourself into something, how can you expect to have the same coming back?

  • sunil November 22, 2015, 8:34 pm


    • Janet Cornish November 23, 2015, 7:38 am

      I like it, too. You have to be willing to love yourself and make sure that respect is going to you first and then to others.

  • Shirley Goodman November 20, 2015, 9:26 am

    I have been single too long. This post has given me some inspiration!

    • Laura Salmon November 23, 2015, 7:49 am

      Good luck, the words that I read here really helped me too!

  • Albert Hicks November 20, 2015, 9:16 am

    I am on the search for love. I consider myself a hopeless romantic, but have not been able to find the right one. Maybe I should try online dating?

    • Mary Hodgson November 28, 2015, 9:43 am

      You can always try it, but take the advice from this post, the comments and friends that have tried it before you get too deep into it.

  • Melissa Smith November 19, 2015, 9:08 pm

    I am not 100% comfortable with myself, however, I have a friend that is totally cool with herself. I have seen the guys flock to her and I always wondered what the reason was.

  • Mitchell Lopez November 18, 2015, 11:48 am

    It does seem that i move quicker towards a woman that seems to be OK with who she is, but how do you know if that is REALLY the case when you just met?

    • Anna Cavin November 26, 2015, 10:11 am

      If you are always spewing negativity and things like that, you are not going to attract the type of person that you are into.

  • Katherine Krueger November 17, 2015, 8:20 am

    Jennifer, these are great tips. I understand what you mean and telling me that it takes 30 days to change a pattern opened my eyes wide!

  • Douglas Beck November 17, 2015, 8:08 am

    This goes the same way for a guy. If you are not confident or ready to conquer things from your end, how can you really find love with anyone else?

    • Elizabeth O'Neill November 24, 2015, 9:48 am

      Very true!

    • Samantha Sawyer December 1, 2015, 12:49 pm

      You bet it does girlfriend!

  • Cynthia Simon November 16, 2015, 9:01 am

    I have a friend that takes great care of herself, but she does not have any confidence in herself when it comes to men. What do I tell her?

    • Shirley McCaffrey November 19, 2015, 9:20 pm

      You might want to suggest some self help books. That might get her on the right track.

  • Kathleen Bernard November 16, 2015, 8:52 am

    I agree that you can push men, or people in general, away if you are not comfortable with yourself first. Good tip!

  • Rita Crowder November 14, 2015, 9:17 pm

    I wish I could focus on the positive rather than the negative. I grew up in a very negative household and am still trying to break free of that.

    • Mary Kurland November 25, 2015, 9:44 am

      That is too bad. being able to focus on the positive things in life is so much better for you.

    • Debra Sass November 30, 2015, 9:56 am

      Good luck being able to overcome that part of your life. I hope you find someone that can help you heal the wounds.

  • Claire Jacobs November 14, 2015, 4:27 pm

    I think it helps a lot that you love yourself before you start to love others. These are good tips! Thanks for the article.

    • Sara Cory November 18, 2015, 11:58 am

      You are the most important person in your life. If you cannot figure out yourself, you should not be taking on the task of figuring someone else out.

    • Stefanie Saddler November 28, 2015, 9:32 am

      I agree. This is some of the best advice I have gotten in a while.

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