Exactly How To Get A Guy To Text You Back

Exactly How To Get A Guy To Text You Back

You might be in a situation with a man who used to text you back right away before, but as time has gone by, things seemed to have changed.

What once felt exciting and happy is now turning into confusion, frustration and anxiety about why he isn’t responding to you. The more he ignores you, the less confident you feel in the future of your relationship (or whatever it is you have) with him.

This issue of men and texting is a topic that so many women write to me about… and there are some reasons for this.

more: What To Do When A Guy Doesn’t Text Back

The truth about men and texting is… men and women have some very different views on texting, which I will cover later on in this article.

Before I continue this article, though, I have to begin with a disclaimer: it is going to be extremely honest and might come across as offensive. I don’t mean to be offensive and am not trying to hurt your feelings.

In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I am telling you this stuff in order to help you actually understand a man’s perspective.

First, let’s look at the possible reasons a man will text back and some of the common reasons he won’t. Afterward, I am going to explain some mindset shifts that will make him more likely to text back, give your relationship the best chance of succeeding and then finally give you specific tips and tricks that will increase the chance of him texting you back.

Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Why Isn’t He Texting You Back?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Why Isn’t He Texting You Back” Quiz right now and find out whether he’s not texting you back on purpose…

The Reasons Why A Man Does Or Doesn’t Text Back

Possible reasons a man won’t text back:

  • He is busy doing something else (consumed in work, with friends, a social situation, watching a tv show, anything…)
  • You have texted him multiple times in a row and he feels if he responds he will have to engage in a long conversation
  • He is not interested in the conversation and feels do need to reply
  • He is not interested anymore and is trying to send you the message without being hurtful or directly telling you (this is if you are not in an official relationship)
  • If you are in a relationship, he might just be comfortable and not feel the need to “impress” with constant texting anymore

more: What To Do If He Suddenly Stops Texting You

Possible reasons a man will text you back:

  • Your text is adding something fun and happy to his life
  • He has the free time to respond and isn’t engaged in something else

  • He feels no pressure to respond he simply wants to
  • Something that turns him on / is sexy
  • It’s something urgent that needs a response

So how do you make it so that he does want to text you back? (or at least, increase the chances of him being more consistent with his texting?)

How To Make A Man Text You Back

First of all…

Drop the Neediness

Neediness means that you “need” him to respond in order to feel ok. This is a mindset that will sabotage your relationship with any man more than you can even imagine.

Neediness is an internal mindset and not being needy is not something that you can fake. This is not me saying you are a bad person for feeling this way, it is very common.

more: The Real Reasons Men Don’t Text Back: The Ultimate Guide

I am bringing it up because it is going to simply push him away and make him less and less likely to respond to your texts (and even worse, hurt your relationship).

When You Text Him, Have A Happy & Comfortable State of Mind

You might as well assume the best case scenario and think of your relationship you have with him from a positive state of mind.

When you have a happy, comfortable state of mind, this inner mindset will come across in your texts to him.

This is not something you can fake, it has to be genuine.

more: How To Get Your Ex Back Using Text Messages

This will make him more likely to want to respond. Men are naturally attracted to happy women. If you come from this place, he will be much more inclined to reply.

Try Sending A Text You Know Will Make Him Feel Good

For example, if you send him a sexy text message… most men… I would go as far as to say 99% of men are delighted by sexy texts (whether this is something he specifically did or said that turned you on, something you want to do with/to him, a sexy picture of yourself…)

I am not saying that the only way to get a man to text back is by being “sexy…” I am saying this because, well, it is true but the reason behind it is not because all men are “dogs” or horrible people.

The reason is because your focus is on giving him something rather than expecting him to give you something.

This is a secret a lot of women actually do not know about men. Men walk around feeling like they are always having to “perform”, to give their time and energy and to be something for someone else.

more: How To Get The Guy You Want To Text You Back

So if you catch him off guard with a text that is simply intended to make him feel good, he will appreciate that.

It does not have to be a sexy text; it can be anything, as long as it has the vibe behind it of you not expecting anything from him but simply wanting to make him feel good and happy.

This brings me to my next point. Texting is not necessarily a good way to judge whether your relationship is on track and to figure out whether his feelings for you run deep.

Watch The Video: How to Get a Guy to Text You Back

How do you figure out whether he has strong feelings for you?

By looking at how much of his time he gives you and how much of his true self he shows you.

more: The Biggest Reasons He Didn’t Call You Back

If he takes off the mask he wears to the world when he is around you and talks to you about vulnerable and honest topics he does not discuss with anyone else or with only a select few people… this is how you can judge how he feels about younot the way and amount of texting he engages in.

Focus on The Quality of Time You Spend With Him And Less on Texting

What you can do to make your relationship have the highest chance of succeeding, your best bet is to focus on the quality of the time you spend with him and making it as good as possible.

This ties into what I mentioned in the beginning… how men and women have a fundamental difference in how they view texting.

Before you get angry at me and say I am being sexist, let me say this: I am referring to most men and most women, the patterns I have seen. I am not saying that men do not wonder why a woman is not texting back; this is not true at all.

There have been many times where I was sitting waiting by the phone, my heart skipping a beat each time my phone ding went off hoping it was a specific woman…

more: How To Get Him To Text You First Instead Of Texting Him First All The Time

But despite this, I can tell you… before I became a dating and relationship “expert” and had literally tons of women send me messages asking specifically about texting, I really wasn’t aware of how big of an issue texting actually is to many women.

There are even situations where a man will be in a relationship with a woman and he thinks everything is ok and thinks there is nothing wrong, meanwhile the woman is anxious and confused trying to “figure out” what is “going on” in his head…

Men tend to be more single-minded in terms of focus and view texting as more functional rather than something that needs to happen all day.

I am not saying you want him to text you all day; but one common reason why a man might not respond is because they feel it will create an expectation that he has to reply all day in a constant conversation.

more: Infographic: The Biggest Reasons Men Don’t Text Back: What Men Want You To Know

So realize that he might not even know that you are upset by his texting habits. This is why focusing on the quality of the time you spend with him is much more important when it comes to fixing your situation than trying to get him to text back.

If you have fun together and have a good rapport, this is what will create a good relationship (or if you are not in a relationship, it will make him want to spend more time with you).

With that said, I am still going to give you some general tips and tricks to consider when it comes to texting him that might make him more likely to text back.

General Texting Tips And Tips

What Not To Do:

  • Don’t text him over and over again even when he is not responding
  • Don’t accuse him of being cruel or insult his character by implying that he is doing something “bad” by not responding to you
  • Don’t send him long paragraphs over and over again
  • Don’t expect or need a response in return

What To Do:

  • Send him happy, light-hearted and possibly even sexy texts
  • Ask something specific that he can respond to
  • Focus on happy, positive or even romantic and nostalgic memories you have with him (like a song that reminds you of him, a tv show, a situation…)
  • Have fun and relax; be playful and laugh at life

There you go… I hope this article helps you understand what to do to make a man more likely to text you back.

All of this comes down to his ‘interest” in you. If he’s not he may be distancing himself from you or pulling away from the connection you had so if you want to make sure you don’t lose him I think it’s very important for you to read this: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Want to find out if he’s not texting you back on purpose? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Why Isn’t He Texting You Back” Quiz right now and find out whether he’s not texting you back on purpose…

Take The Quiz: Why Isn’t He Texting You Back?

In summary…

How To Get A Guy To Text You Back

  1. Drop any neediness you might be feeling
  2. When you text him, be in a comfortable relaxed state of mind
  3. Try sending him a text you know will make him feel good
  4. Add something fun and happy to your situation with him when you text him
  5. Don’t pressure him to respond to your text

how to get a guy to text you back

43 comments… add one
  • Latha April 29, 2019, 10:55 pm

    I meet a guy from tinder and met once at his home , we watched movie together and after once drink I came back home but he holder my hand till me boarded to my destiny vechicle. We had couple of days chats but usualy me initiated next meet but it got cancelled as he occupied with some task, I do respect that like this out 6 times meeting was canceled by each with some priority work. One fine day he messaged me to meet again at his place . I was pounded with happy notes and started to meet his home. When I reached near to his home he blocked me and ghosted, me tried his call and messgas like 30 mins then he lifted the call becoz of some thing emergency he can’t meet me. I was so furious and was expected at least a message from him but he blocked me in what’s app and my number. I was so upset and deleted my tinder account and I never faced this sitautaion ever in my life. After 3 days again he unblocked me from what’s app. As me seriously liked him and want to know him more as a person, at least as a happy note I don’t want to keep any low in my heart me messaged him for apologies. He also replied a apologies note for that night and saying the reason as he is in a complex reatiohsip and trying to find out wishing me that I can can get better guy than him. But me created a tinder account but conincidemtly matched with him again this time I was unknown for him but I know him, he talked nicely and invited me (for him as I am stranger in the tinder) for a drink.. on this heavy heart I have to idea how to react myself but I truly liked him. Please suggest.


  • kristy November 17, 2018, 7:57 am

    uhmmm quite great advice a little hard when you’re so trapped in love but Nick your so damn right

  • Elodie Cox June 3, 2018, 8:41 pm

    Aww that is just horrible that man must not care about u.. just stop texting him

  • Raiman March 8, 2018, 8:36 pm

    my boy don’t have a time for me

  • AYW February 27, 2018, 4:02 pm

    Hi there,
    I have a little bit of a dilemma… I have met this guy during one of my trips last year. He was fun to be around and exchanged numbers before I left. We have been messaging in WhatsApp for the last 2,5 months on regular basis… exchanging photographs, talking about daily life etc. last Sunday I had a rough road trip with my friends and I was a bit depressed as I had to send my car on a freight truck to the mechanic. Anyways I wrote him few lines explaining what happened to me. I saw he read the text but has not replied yet. At the moment my anxiety and insecurities are getting the worst out of me. Feeling a bit depressed as he has not acknowledged my bad day or sent me text saying hope I am okay. In the past he did when I hurt my shoulder. He is an archeologist and does private culture and history tours and at times lecturing.
    I am a bit concerned to be seem like needy or may be scared him off. Any feedback is appreciated

  • precious February 13, 2018, 3:15 pm

    I like this guy a lot and hes not replying to my texts soon after i send a message..and i realy think he likea me too

  • Nyakallo January 13, 2018, 10:03 am

    Keep your man next to you

  • Nyakallo January 13, 2018, 10:02 am

    If you love him indeed keep him next to you darling…

  • Heather September 24, 2017, 11:02 am

    I hope the writer of this article will see this. I know this is to help people with dating and maybe some girls do these things, but I don’t think most of this is anything groundbreaking – at least not to me. What I don’t understand is why anyone would thinking ghosting someone is being nice or letting them down w/o hurting their feelings. I’m sure guys aren’t the only ones that do this. It probably goes both ways a little. Even if you’re not exclusive you deserve the respect of a conversation. Avoiding that is making it easier on no one other than the person doing the ghosting.

  • Heather September 5, 2017, 12:06 pm

    I like your article. Thank you. I feel I do most of this already and by that I mean keep things light and positive. But one thing I will never get used to is the ghosting thing. This article says don’t call a guy cruel and call his character into question. But it is cruel. That’s exactly what it is. To have someone that you liked just ignore you and act like you don’t matter.

  • Aaron January 30, 2017, 2:51 pm

    So I see these women are up our plan we must change it, and call them and then hang up muhahhaahajahahahahahhemmdkskfjejdndj

  • kora November 28, 2016, 6:20 pm

    drop the neediness – for me the most important thing to remember. men basically hate women who can’t seem to live w/out texting all day

  • helga November 25, 2016, 1:00 pm

    send him some feel-good messages that will surely brighten up his day

  • ingrid November 24, 2016, 1:54 pm

    he feels if he responds he will have to engage in a long conversation. men do not have for this, unlike us women.

  • christine November 23, 2016, 4:01 pm

    be interesting and make him interested in you

  • adrianna November 22, 2016, 4:59 pm

    try to send him sexy messages and see how he reacts. this usually gets my man excited lol

  • lucy November 21, 2016, 6:25 pm

    try to figure out first if he’s not to busy. otherwise, he’ll only be annoyed by your text messages

  • celia November 17, 2016, 6:41 pm

    if he’s at least interested in you then this is no sweat but if otherwise, then whatever you may say or do won’t even make him reply at all.

  • corie November 16, 2016, 7:34 pm

    texting or not, make sure you keep him interested with the kind of conversations you both have. you cannot just talk about women stuff. you need to also make an effort to talk about his interests

  • soleil November 15, 2016, 4:38 pm

    do not bother him when you he’s busy or in the middle of something. instead, text him a sweet and encouraging message, this will surely put a smile on his face.

  • kendra November 14, 2016, 12:56 pm

    yes, girl! drop the neediness. men hate this and they sure won’t even bother reading your text messages if you don’t stop

  • sarah November 11, 2016, 3:01 pm

    i always try to make my boyfriend get into texting w/ me..now he’s kinda used to it.

  • therese November 10, 2016, 3:04 pm

    good tips. and you’re right, women should focus more on quality time spent together than texting

  • becky November 9, 2016, 11:18 am

    Focus on The Quality of Time You Spend With Him And Less on Texting – definitely makes sense

  • hailey November 8, 2016, 12:15 pm

    talk about interesting stuff not only for you but for him. if you talk to him about shopping, your manicure and all sorts and you know these don’t interest him, then you are definitely waiting for nothing.

  • nancy November 7, 2016, 1:20 pm

    i think it’s unfair for women to do all these adjustments just to get a text message from a guy. just my opinion.

  • jessica November 4, 2016, 1:16 pm

    text him about stuff he likes and loves to do

  • dyan November 3, 2016, 12:49 pm

    send him positive messages that will lighten up his busy schedule especially when you know he’s having a rough day

  • larissa November 2, 2016, 6:32 pm

    make sure you are sensible and you interest him enough

  • catherine October 28, 2016, 1:58 pm

    men are just too boring to not like texting. haha

  • jemima October 27, 2016, 12:31 pm

    just assure him you are a sensible person and not like those women who seek attention at all costs

  • anabelle October 26, 2016, 11:03 pm

    know the guy, his interests and his wants. then, you’ll know how to get his attention and get him to text you

  • carmelle October 25, 2016, 1:41 pm

    when a man is busy, he is busy. but do not mistaken this for someone who pretends to be busy and make sure to read the signs along the way

  • michelle October 24, 2016, 11:54 pm

    wow, love these ideas! i can really make use of them

  • Lucia October 21, 2016, 11:12 pm

    How about not initiating texting? That way you don’t have to worry about him responding. Thinking that you’re building a connection via text is an illusion. Leave him alone and if he’s interested, he’ll text you!

  • cherry October 18, 2016, 4:06 pm

    my trick is not text him every single time he texts me. that way, he gets more excited and anxious for me to respond.

  • gerlie October 17, 2016, 3:42 pm

    don’t be too needy and give him time to respond to you. men do not have multi-tasking skills as we do

  • mayen October 12, 2016, 1:24 pm

    guys don’t usually like texting. they think it’s too much for them to handle than those more important tasks

  • kenisha October 11, 2016, 10:12 pm

    i’ve done the sexy text messaging and i should say, it works everytime! it makes him wanna come home to me lol

  • miranda October 10, 2016, 8:37 pm

    sometimes i think men are just to difficult to deal with. why can’t they just be fair w/ women esp when it comes to simple communication like text messaging?

    • Heather September 5, 2017, 1:44 pm

      I know this is an old message so who knows if you’ll read it. I agree. I’m not surprised at anything in this article. What I don’t understand is why some of it is acceptable.

  • carrie October 7, 2016, 3:27 pm

    will definitely keep this in mind. my guy doesn’t really like texting

    • Nyakallo January 13, 2018, 10:05 am

      Keep your man next to you

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