No Contact Rule: How Long Should You Do It For?

No Contact Rule: How Long Should You Do It For?

You’re here because you want to know how long to do the no contact rule for.

Maybe you really want him back and you want to give yourself the best chance possible to get him back.

Maybe you broke up with him and all you want to do is get over him and move on.

Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.

more: The No Contact Rule: Everything You Need To Know

Whatever the reason – you want to know how to do the no contact rule and how long you’re supposed to do it for.

That’s why I’m here.

I’m going to give you the details on exactly what the no contact rule is and exactly how long you should do it for, so that you’ll have the best possible chance of getting the outcome you want.

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can get your ex back or if he’s gone for good…

What Is The No Contact Rule?

The no contact rule is a set of guidelines to follow after you break up with someone.

In essence, it’s designed to give you the time and space you need to heal your heartbreak, get perspective on the relationship, and if you want it… the best chance to get your ex back.

more: How To Get Your Ex Back In 5 Steps Guaranteed

Let’s take a look at exactly what the no contact rule means:

No contact means absolutely no talking to him or contacting him.

That means:

  • No emailing him
  • No calling him
  • No “bumping into him by accident”

  • No meeting up with him to “catch up”
  • No talking to him
  • No texting him
  • No letters
  • No responding to texts/calls/emails from him

It means exactly what it sounds like – have absolutely zero contact with him.

My article on the no contact rule goes really in depth on the details about the no contact rule – if you have questions about what to do in specific situations, that’s the first place you should go.

To keep it simple – the no contact rule means you do your best not to have any contact with him whatsoever.

more: How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup

If you’re in a situation where you work with him, or you have a child together, or you have another reason where you have to be in contact with him that you absolutely can’t avoid – then you can still follow the no contact rule.

The best thing to do in those situations is to limit any communication that you have with him to the absolute bare essentials.

Basically – keep it about exactly what you need to coordinate with him, and nothing more. Don’t talk about personal lives, or plans for the weekend, or anything about yourselves at all. Stick to being strictly professional and dealing with whatever issues is bringing you together and you’ll be fine.

more: What To Do About The No Contact Rule

So that begs the question:

Here’s How Long To Do The No Contact Rule

People disagree on the exact length of how long you should do the no contact rule for, but generally it’s anywhere from 3 to 8 weeks. Personally, when I’m giving advice to friends, I like to give a minimum of 4 weeks as the best possible length for the no contact rule.If you give yourself a solid month of no contact, it lets you naturally decompress and gain perspective on the relationship, and it gives you the time to start healing a little bit.

no contact rule how long

Anything shorter than 4 weeks is generally too short to really see any of the benefits of no contact, and if you want him back and you start going longer than 4 weeks, you risk him moving on too and finding someone new.

more: How Do I Reconnect With Him After Cutting Off Contact

That said – if you were in a really, really long term relationship (like more than a couple of years), a longer no contact rule is probably better for your mental health and well being than a shorter one. Consider doing no-contact for longer than 4 weeks if you were together with your ex for a really long time.

You should be doing more than just not talking to him during those 4 weeks.

The 4 weeks of no contact are primarily for you to heal and start to feel better. So throwing yourself into hobbies and things that you like doing should be a number one priority.

more: Exactly How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Picking up things you used to do and enjoyed doing that might have fallen by the wayside is a great way to get yourself feeling better and get in a much better mindset after a breakup.

Along the same lines, working on yourself and channeling your sadness and pain into self-improvement is also an excellent idea that I advise anyone to follow.

more: When No Contact Works And When It Doesn’t

Going to the gym, starting running, or really doing anything to get yourself active, out of the house, and improving yourself is one of the best possible things you can be doing during no contact.

Not only will the physical exercise make you feel better, it will make you look better and feel better about yourself – which gives you a way better chance of moving on from him more quickly, or getting him back if that’s what you’re looking for.

more: No Contact And The Blow Off

Remember – during no contact you shouldn’t be sending him any messages or having any contact with him in any way. If he messages or calls you, you shouldn’t respond. If it’s an emergency, you can break no contact only to deal specifically with the emergency, and then immediately go back to it afterwards.

If you follow those rules (and again, if you have any questions check my in depth article on the topic), you give yourself the best chances of feeling better, moving on, healing from heartbreak, and eventually (if you want it) getting him back.

more: Why The No Contact Rule Is Important

Remember – 4 weeks minimum is the best length for the no contact rule. Good luck!

Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

37 comments… add one
  • Pauletta January 9, 2019, 4:58 pm

    I really connected with this person but she was not happy with my situation that I am willing to change for her it was only a month. What do you think?

  • Steven Senjaya October 10, 2018, 8:35 am

    This is a really good method. Just do it until you feel it’s alright to lose him/her. It’ll be really hard at first, but trust me, you’ll feel very grateful and happier after you can get through this! Yeah, it’s also good if you can get him/her back, but if you are too hopeful that your ex will be back, it can surely lead you to a huge dissapointment,sadness, depression, etc. Don’t forget to surrender it all to God and, Cmon you can do it!

  • Check these guys out August 10, 2018, 6:10 am

    It’s always great to take time, rethink things & reevaluate your relationship after no contact rule.

  • Myrelationships Center July 25, 2018, 8:10 am

    I see that you have shared great points for no contact rule, for relation not going postive vibes. keep sharing.

  • Jasmine June 11, 2018, 12:58 pm

    How long should I do no contact if we only dated for about 2 months?

  • Naseem June 6, 2018, 8:02 am

    No contact rules does not affect in my case. Plz help its almost 2 months

  • Tenesee Swepston March 13, 2018, 3:23 pm

    My no contact period is almost over. But I didn’t start it until 17 days after we broke up. Was that too late? Can I still get her back?

  • nola February 12, 2018, 2:49 pm

    3-8weeks may seem too long at first specially when you really can’t help but want to get back together with your ex. but this is a very important step you have to take to really have a better and clearer perspective of what happened and what you want to happen next.

  • charlee February 12, 2018, 8:37 am

    this is definitely an eye-opener to women who can go too impulsive over any breakup. it’s difficult to do but surely it’s something worth doing .

  • chelsea January 23, 2018, 7:37 pm

    i think i can’t do this.

  • Sada January 9, 2018, 1:17 am

    He has no contact for 4 months already after sent me text to broke up with me I cryied every days and respect him so stop everything.
    First, he suggested me to get married then move to his country after he back home he denied and said did not want again made me upset cos I did many things about documents for waiting him after that the situation was getting worse I called him to ask then no contact 1 month then he sent picture of me and ask me that “did you want to talk” I was very angry and disappointed on that time just say thank you for the picture at all then no contact for 2 weeks and he sent me text again to ask “do you want to talk ” I just asked him back “What did you do to me? he sent me many reasons which not true that his fellings think I do not like him much and said broke up with me. That all. I was confusing do not know what I want to do. Then 4 months that no contact and checking his FB profile he post gf with him and explained so romantic time so far. I was devastated and cried. Why he found girlfriend very fast just 4 mths we spent time together for 2 years. Does he go for good or no?
    Any comments would appreciate.

  • olivia September 28, 2017, 5:33 pm

    i did it for as long as i could hold it together until i realized it’s not worth the try again. now i’m at my happiest since.

    • IrishBluesNoMore December 1, 2017, 1:25 pm

      7 weeks coming up Monday. Did a few things wrong. She fired me via text. She was aleady gone. About a month before official. I got very sick have a tumor removed. I became weak and clingy. Just physically and mentally at my lowest. New guy in town no doubt. Can’t blame her I’m split up but Ed still lives here until Jan 2018. Good news is Tumor is gone bad news is so is she. She said she loves me. But couldn’t be there with me to help
      Me . Because my ex still being here. No contact . Time to reflect it wasn’t a healthy relationship. Started out on shaky ground. Shouldn’t have put her in that situation. Even though my ex is A roommate. I fell so hard so fast. Im
      Not chasing anymore. Now it’s time to diet , cross train, gym, bike , hike and surf. Back to school finish up. Back to my great 32 yr Career. Back to improving everything about me for myself. In time it will happen if not I’m good. God is good . Don’t look back you can never look back. I thought I knew what Love was. Those days are gone forever and I’m letting her go. Right Here Right Now….

  • renee September 26, 2017, 12:55 pm

    control the urge to even look at his profile on social media. this will prevent you from wanting to contact him.

  • rachelle September 7, 2017, 5:05 pm

    i just don’t think i’m brave enough to do this =(

  • jackielyn September 6, 2017, 5:00 pm

    when i was struggling with this issue with my then boyfriend, i came across one of your posts about your the “no contact rule”. it was tough and it was painful but i braved it and stood by my decision and in the end everything worked out for my good. i never got back with my ex but i have met the man for me afterwards and we’ve been very happy. <3

  • sandra August 23, 2017, 6:31 pm

    waiting a bit more won’t do you any harm. in fact, if you only open your mind you will be the one benefiting from it.

  • nicole August 20, 2017, 7:41 pm

    take as much time as you can. this will make him really think about the relationship as much as you need to on your own.

  • sage August 18, 2017, 11:38 am

    they say habits are usually formed in 29-30 day period so if you want to really get a persective of the relationship, i think minimum of 30 days is best.

  • debbie August 16, 2017, 3:28 pm

    try it and you’ll not even notice how long it already took you.

  • catleya August 15, 2017, 6:35 am

    don’t count the days, weeks or even months. count the may ways you can have the time for yourself. take this time out and you will grow as an individual, this i assure you!

  • margot August 6, 2017, 11:52 pm

    thanks for sharing this. i think this is really a good point

  • karen July 31, 2017, 11:59 pm

    do it for as long as you can and for as long as you’re comfortable enough

  • amelie July 30, 2017, 10:50 pm

    do not keep a countdown. focus on having this time for yourself and enjoying it doing the things you love.

  • apple July 26, 2017, 3:19 pm

    stick to the plan. even though he cannot see you do it, don’t even look at his social media profiles

  • rhianne July 23, 2017, 11:47 pm

    i will try to hold up until i can really say i’ve moved on..

  • nova July 17, 2017, 11:40 pm

    don’t put limit in it for as long as you maximize this time to feel better and think

  • cadence July 16, 2017, 4:15 pm

    follow this rule and you’ll thank yourself later on, i promise! (=

  • antoinette July 13, 2017, 11:56 pm

    do it for as long as you can, until you move on. it will be best for you.

  • kirsten July 10, 2017, 7:06 pm

    4 weeks isn’t bad at all. you can really think about things and your future may it be together or separated.

  • Jessica July 9, 2017, 11:19 pm


  • krizia July 9, 2017, 1:23 pm

    i tried this for a couple of months and then i realized it’s not worth taking him back and i’m thankful i did because now i’m so much happier

  • sabine July 4, 2017, 4:57 pm

    for me, a month will do. this is enough time to break any habit. so if you both can’t deal without each other then you must really still love each other.

  • wilma June 29, 2017, 1:11 pm

    don’t even think about snooping around his social media accounts! this is will help you lessen the urge to contact him.

  • bliss June 28, 2017, 11:22 pm

    gosh..this is very tough! i don’t if i can endure such waiting! :(

  • billie June 27, 2017, 10:12 am

    this may seem pointless, but in the end you will be thanking the stars!

  • lindy June 25, 2017, 3:15 pm

    gosh, i won’t be able to last! =(

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