Want to know the strangest thing about getting back with your ex?
That actually getting back with an ex isn’t that hard. With a couple tricks, getting back to together can actually be really easy.
The tricky part is actually keeping him once he’s back. There’s a difference between learning how to get your ex back and learning how to win your ex back.
Lots of women get back with ex boyfriends every day. But most of them lose him again.
Because the same problems that destroyed their relationship before are still there, unaddressed.
And unless you know how to find and solve those problems that are rooted in the dynamic of your relationship, they’ll stick around, waiting to ruin your chances with him again.
To get your ex back and keep him for good – that takes a little bit more.
(But not a lot more, don’t worry.)
In this article, I’m going to give you a 5 step plan that will teach you how to win back your ex by magnetically drawing him back in – and keeping him there once he’s back.
Getting your ex back is only hard when you make mistakes. Unfortunately, it’s really easy to make mistakes when you’re struggling with the pain of a breakup with usual feelings of being lost, confused, and miserable. You might find yourself inundated with the question: I want my ex back, but where do I even start? Will my ex ever come back? How do you get your ex boyfriend back? And if it’s been long enough: Is it possible to get your ex back after months?
All of that being said, how do you get your ex back? No matter what stage of a breakup you’re in, let me fill you in on this cold, hard fact:
Getting back together with ex boyfriends is only hard when you make mistakes.
But when you have a 5-step plan, you won’t feel confused. You’ll know exactly where you’re going, and exactly how to get there, and exactly how to get over the breakup.
You’ll be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel with a straight line that shows you how to get back there as fast as possible.
Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can get your ex back or if he’s gone for good…
Instead of Googling vague instructives like “how to get my ex back”, you need a solid plan to help you actually do the leg work. Well, lucky for you, this article is your plan. Follow the steps I give you, and you will irresistibly draw your ex back to you.
It’s not rocket science. It’s not even complicated.
Here’s the truth – you’ve done a lot of the hard work already. At its core, getting your ex back is about letting him remember how much he misses you, and how good your relationship was.
And that’s exactly what step 1 is all about.
Step 1: The No Contact Rule – Cut Off Contact With Him
If you’re wondering how to get back together with your ex, and keep him… he has to realize how much he misses you.
And for that to happen, there can’t be any contact between you.
So here’s the rule: Cut off contact with him for at least 4 weeks.
What does that mean?
- No Calling Him
- No Texting Him
- No Contacting Him Online (Facebook Messages, Email, Gchat, Twitter, im)
- No Spending Time With Friends In Common To Run Into Him
- No Running Into Him “By Accident” (Exactly what you think it means)
If you have any questions, check the faq at the end of this section.
Here’s the big secret to making the no contact rule work that almost every so-called expert misses: No contact rule is for YOU too…
It’s when you detox yourself from everything inside that would cause problems in getting your ex back.
Yes, it’s typical after a breakup that we want to think about it constantly… worry about it, wonder about it, analyze it, etc. It is typical for people (men and women) to have a thought about the relationship or breakup and just feed into it.
It’s typical and it’s understandable. But does it help you? Not at all. In fact, it does all sorts of things that HURT your chances of getting your ex back.
It kills your mood. It keeps you “stuck” on him. It eats up your attention and energy, which COULD be going towards doing things that will improve your chances of getting him back.
So if you’re not detoxing how you think and feel on the inside, you’re not doing the no contact rule! This is a secret that most relationship coaches don’t tell you, but the “detox” of your inner world is the most important part of the no contact rule
The no contact rule is about not contacting him, yes, but even more importantly, it’s what YOU are doing during the no contact time that really matters.
What to do when thoughts about him, the breakup or the relationship come up in your mind:
The no contact rule is not about “waiting” or “missing him” while you’re doing it.
The no contact time is ACTIVE time you are spending to DETOX from obsessive thinking about him, missing him and negativity in your mind about the relationship.
Now I know telling you not to think about him may sound impossible right now, but there’s a way to make this super easy:
Thoughts will about him will come up from time to time. When they do, you’re just going to let them pass like meaningless clouds floating in the sky. You’ll notice they’re there, but you won’t feed into them… you won’t pursue them.
That’s the secret. You don’t FEED INTO those thoughts about him, about the relationship, about the problems, about anything he was or wasn’t doing. You don’t feed into any thoughts about him or the relationship, period.
You don’t analyze, you don’t reflect, you don’t show regret, you don’t wonder if you made the wrong move, you don’t wonder what he’s doing or if he’ll come back. None of it.
Fill Your Life
Instead you’ll focus on filling your life with things you love doing, things that make you happy, things that make you feel good. Fill your life up and LIVE HAPPY. While you’re giving him space to miss you and worry that he’s lost you forever (which will make him want you back more and more), you’ll be getting STRONGER by lifting your mood and happiness up, up, up…
The Best Thing About Doing No Contact
You get to discover the TRUTH about how much this guy is even willing to have a relationship with you that you really want.
Cutting off contact might sound counterintuitive, or like you’re trying to get back at your ex. But let me reassure you that this is one of the most crucial steps if you want to learn how to get back together with an ex effectively. So, why are you cutting off contact with him? For a couple of reasons:
First, it’s to get control of yourself and get some perspective on the relationship.
After a breakup, everybody gets pretty messed up – and trying to get him back while you’re in that state is only going to make things worse.
If you want to get him back, and keep him… he has to realize how much he misses you.
That’s why you need these 4 weeks to calm down, put the pieces back together, and take a real look at what your relationship was. Getting perspective means you can clearly see whether or not you were happy, whether you were right for each other, or whether you even want to have the relationship back.
Plus, it gives you the time to get past the initial unbearable phase of missing him and into a more even-tempered, secure mentality. Instead of trying to figure out signs your ex still loves you, you’ll be working on yourself and getting yourself into a better mindset. It gives you the space to say, “I don’t need him to be happy – I can be happy all on my own”.
Second, it’s to give him space to miss you and realize (all on his own) that he wants to have you back.
If you want him to notice how much he misses you, he has to have the space to notice that you’re gone.
He won’t notice the hole that you left in his life unless you let him. So if you’re still in contact with him, he won’t get lonely. If you’re still having sex with him, he won’t miss the sex or companionship. If you’re still emotionally engaging with him, he won’t miss the love and satisfaction of being with you.
The saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is true. Now is the time for you to put it to work. When you cut off contact with him, he’ll remember all the good times you two had together. Eventually, all the memories of the bad times, arguments, and mistakes will fade.
Remember that you don’t have to remind him how much he liked being in a relationship with you – he’ll notice all on his own. It’s important for him to be able to wake up one day and say to himself, “I want my ex back” without being nudged.
If you woke up without an arm, you’d notice pretty quickly that you were missing something that was vital to you. You wouldn’t need the arm to tap you on the shoulder to remind you it was gone.
You would immediately notice the ways that not having it makes your life worse, so let him notice all the ways that missing you makes his life worse.
Here is everything you need to know about the no contact rule.
But What If… (No Contact faq)
What if he contacts me? Is that breaking No Contact?
If he contacts you (like he calls you, or texts you, or sends you some other message), it’s not breaking no contact. But if you respond to him reaching out to you, that does count as breaking the rule. Responding is the same as reaching out to him on your own.
If it’s a true emergency, you can respond – but keep the conversation centered around the emergency and nothing else. No personal questions, no relationship questions, nothing about either of your lives. Stay focused on only the emergency that he contacted you about.
What Should I Do If I Broke No Contact Already?
The only way to truly gain the benefits of the no contact rule is to follow it all the way through. That means that if you broke the no contact rule, the only thing to be done is to start the no contact period over again.
The only thing that will get him missing you again is time, and the only way to get him thinking about how good the relationship was and forgetting about the pain is uninterrupted time without contact.
Plus, it’s about going cold turkey and proving to yourself that you can live your life without him in it. If you can live without him for 4 weeks, you’ve proven it to yourself.
What If We Bump Into Each Other?
First of all, don’t bump into him “on purpose”. You know what that means.
Second of all, if you truly accidentally bump into him, then here’s exactly what to do. Be upbeat, positive, and in a good mood while you’re talking to him. Let him lead the conversation and pick the subjects, and whatever you do don’t bring up relationships or your relationship with him.
Shoot for about 10 minutes and then end the conversation with him. The goal is to be upbeat, positive, and give the impression that you’re fine, everything in your life is good, and you’re feeling happy. Showing bitterness or resentment is only going to drive him further away from you.
What If He Finds Someone New During No Contact?
The short answer is – he’s not going to.
When a guy gets out of a serious relationship, he’s not going to fall in love and find someone new right away. Most guys don’t even want to get into a relationship right after getting out of a serious one. When they do, it’s almost always a “rebound” relationship designed to distract him from the pain of losing you – and it never works.
If you’re really worried that your ex is going to get into a new relationship, or you know he’s in one and you want to find out whether it’s real or not, this article will give you the signs that his new relationship is a rebound. That way, you can get a definitive answer to the question, “Is he in a rebound relationship?” and move on with putting the no contact rule to work for you.
This is about trusting that giving him time is going to make him miss you, and getting into a better mindset so you are as attractive to him as possible. The alternative is panicking, stalking him, texting him constantly, and begging him to take you back – which never works. Trust that this is the only way to get him back (and keep him for good).
Does It Really Have To Be 4 Weeks?
Yes. Remember, he needs space to remember how much he misses you, and shorter than 4 weeks just isn’t going to cut it.
Also, you need time to recover from the breakup and come out stronger, happier, and more positive. That’s just not going to happen in under 4 weeks, and it’s going to work against you if you try to do it in a shorter period of time.
Isn’t this rude, or even cruel to him? It seems so over the top.
This isn’t about “punishing” him, or being rude, or being intentionally cruel to him. It’s about giving both of you some much needed space to get perspective on the relationship and really identify the issues that drove you two apart.
Remember, the no contact rule isn’t about him, it’s about you. You’re not cutting off contact to try to spite him, you’re giving yourself time and space to heal from the breakup – just like you’re giving him time and space to start missing you again.
Finally, here’s the biggest reason for the no contact rule:
It stops you from making the fatal breakup mistakes that will truly drive him away for good – that we’re going to talk about in the next section.
Watch the video: How To Easily Get Your Ex Back
Step 2: The Fatal Mistakes (And Ignoring Your Instincts)
This section will cover all the fatal mistakes that women make after breakups. These mistakes will drive your ex away from you and all but ruin your chances of ever getting back together with an ex.
The worst part about these mistakes is that they’re so natural. These mistakes happen when you follow your instincts after a breakup.
These mistakes happen when you follow your instincts after a breakup.
At first glance, that doesn’t seem fair… and it’s not. It’s not fair that your instincts will urge you to do things that will ruin your chances of getting back together with your ex.
That’s why the no contact rule is so important – to take away the chances of you making any of these fatal mistakes.
Mistake #1: Letting Him Do Whatever He Wants And Just Taking It
After a breakup, the temptation is to just give your ex whatever he wants in the hopes that it will bring him back to you.
This is one of the worst things you can do – because all that does is signal to him that he’s in control and that you’re not going anywhere – which means there’s no reason for him to get back together with you.
If he’s getting everything he wants from you without doing any work or having to get back together with you, what incentive does he have to rekindle the relationship?
In addition, giving in to him and giving him everything he wants shows him desperation. It makes your vibe desperate, which turns him off consciously and unconsciously and ruins your chances with him.
In fact, a lot of relationships end with this fatal mistake. Here’s how it normally happens:
The beginning, or “honeymoon phase” of a relationship is an exciting, magical time. You two were doing fun things together. You were enjoying getting to know each other and exploring with each other. You were equal with each other.
Then, as the relationship goes on, something shifts…
Instead of feeling equal, it feels like you’re losing him. Like you have to chase after him to get his attention.
Like you have to bother him to get affection from him.
It feels like slowly but surely, you’re losing him… and you don’t know how to stop it.
You start to get worried that he’s pulling away or withdrawing, and so you put up with his bad behavior in an attempt to make him want to stay.
Unfortunately, all that does is make him lose respect for you and see you as desperate, which undermines the relationship even more and pushes him away even further.
MORE: These Signs Mean You Can Get Your Ex Back
It inevitably becomes a downward spiral that continues until the relationship falls apart.
The only way to have a good relationship is if you demand a good relationship from him. If you don’t, and give him everything he wants to make him want to stay with you, you’re sabotaging the relationship and destroying your chances with him.
Mistake #2: Giving Him Tons Of Affection
This ties back into the first mistake – except instead of convincing him to get back together with you by putting up with his bad behavior, you’re trying to convince him to get back together by showering him with affection.
The key mistake here is trying to convince him to get back together with you. That makes you look needy and desperate – which will turn him off completely.
When you shower him with attention and affection, it shows him that you’re desperate. He knows you love him – he just broke up with you. When you remind him how much you love him, what actually happens is that he thinks you’re trying to manipulate him into getting back together with him, and it turns him off.
Remember, a conclusion he comes to on his own is always going to be way more powerful than a conclusion you manipulate him into making.
Mistake #3: Trying To Use Pity To Get Him Back
Pity isn’t attractive. Neither is begging.
When you first got together with him, you didn’t beg him to be with you. You didn’t rely on his pity for him to go on a date with you. Those things won’t help you now.
All begging or using pity does is convince him that he made the right move. It sabotages your vibe and makes you seem needy and desperate, which forces him to recoil from you and push you away from his life.
Mistake #4: Getting Super Jealous If He Starts Dating Someone New
Obviously, this can feel like a super upsetting thing. After all, he’s dating someone new, that means your chances are ruined, right?
Actually, not nearly as much as you’d think. Like we talked about before, when a guy starts dating after a serious relationship, it’s almost always a rebound relationship – not a real one.
And rebound relationships are totally ineffective ways of moving on. All it will do is remind him that he cares about you more, and that he wants you back in his life.
Acting jealous won’t make him want to come back to you – it will do the opposite. It will push him even further towards the other girl, and once again make you come off as needy and desperate.
Mistake #5: Calling And Texting Him All The Time
This is covered by the no contact rule, and it’s one of the biggest reasons the no contact rule exists.
Your instincts are going to be screaming at you to call him and text him all the time. You miss him, you want to talk to him, you want him to acknowledge you, you want contact with him!
Unfortunately, your instincts are working against you. Contact with him will only push him further away and tell him he was right to break up with you.
So as hard as it is, it’s best to follow the no contact rule. Without it, it’s much more likely that you make this fatal mistake.
Mistake #6: Acting Cold, Aloof, Nasty, Or Desperate Towards Him
Just like your instincts are telling you to call and text him, they’ll also be telling you to be nasty to him. After all, he broke your heart! It’s only natural that you’ll want to hurt him back.
This will obviously work against you – by driving him further away and reinforcing in his mind that he doesn’t want you in his life. Even if it feels good in the short run as a cathartic release of pain and frustration, in the long run it will surely drive him away from you forever.
Remember – causing him pain won’t make him want to get back together with you. It will just mess you up and push him away.
Mistake #7: Trying To Make Him Jealous By Talking About Other Guys
This is another reason for the no contact rule – to prevent you from making this fatal mistake.
MORE: Does Your Ex Want You Back? These Key Signs Mean That He Does…
If you’re trying to make him jealous by flaunting the fact that you’re seeing other guys in his face, all it will do is make you look desperate.
He’ll be able to see right through it (after all, you’re seeing other guys to make him jealous, so he’s still in control), and it will feel like you’re trying to manipulate him. That will turn him off and drive him away from you faster than anything else – so definitely avoid this mistake.
Mistake #8: Talking To Him About The Relationship And Asking Him About His Love Life
Like we talked about before, letting him come to his own conclusions is much stronger and more powerful than trying to lead him there yourself.
It’s so much stronger when we figure out something on our own than when someone else tells us.
It’s like when you realize something on your own vs when a friend tells you something. It’s more powerful when it’s self generated.
It’s more powerful when you realize something on your own.
So let him come to his own conclusions about the relationship. Don’t ask him how his love life is going now, let him realize that it’s not as good as when you were dating.
Those are the top fatal mistakes that will destroy your chances at getting him back.
Now it’s time to move on to step 3 – what you should be doing during the no contact period.
Step 3: Get Stronger While He Gets Weaker
So you might be wondering: what am I supposed to be doing during the no contact period?
There’s a very simple answer to that: you’re going to be getting stronger while he gets weaker.
While he notices your absence from his life more and more, you’re going to be improving yourself, feeling better, stronger, and more independent, and becoming physically and emotionally healthier.
That means that as you grow as a person, become more comfortable, confident, and happy, and gain perspective on the relationship, he’ll be sliding backwards into thinking about you, missing you, and ultimately wanting you back.
Think about it this way: these 4 weeks of no contact are your detox period. You’re detoxing yourself from the relationship, and getting past all the pain and heartbreak of the breakup.
If you never detox from the relationship, then that same negativity, desperation, and pain will prevent you from ever getting him back. After all, you can’t get your ex boyfriend back if your mind is working against you.
What does it mean for your mind to be working against you?
It means that your negative emotions are in control of you. The pain of heartbreak is in control of your mind (and driving you towards all sorts of bad instincts, described in Step 2), and if you don’t detox and get rid of that pain it will push him away from you for good.
These 4 weeks of no contact are your detox period.
Think about it this way: negative emotions and feelings are working against you, and will wind up pushing him away, while positive emotions and feelings will work for you, and magnetically draw him back to you.
You need a foundation of positive emotions in order to get him back – and to do that you have to let go of your negative emotions.
The best, most effective way to let go of negative emotions is to point blank accept the fact that the relationship is over. It’s not something to pine over, something to hope for, something to obsess over – it’s gone.
When you can let go of your relationship and accept the fact that at the moment you’re completely single, it will get rid of the root of any insecurity and empower you to bring positivity back into your life.
The best first step to take towards detox is this: get rid of all reminders of your relationship and your ex boyfriend.
You don’t have to throw them away – but definitely put them away in a place you don’t have easy access to, and whatever you do don’t revisit them.
So write down his phone number and address on a piece of paper and keep it somewhere out of the way, then delete them out of your phone. Get rid of all the pictures on your computer and your phone that remind you of him. Delete his screen names from your lists and get rid of his emails and texts.
Don’t delete him off Facebook – just ‘unfollow’ him so it doesn’t look like you unfriended him.
Take any gifts and physical reminders that you have of him and put them away and out of sight. Remember, your goal is to have nothing that reminds you of him in your day to day life.
The second step towards detox is to erase his power over you.
The more you think about him, the more you’re going to miss him.
That’s why actively fighting your urge to obsess over him is going to serve you so well in the long run – because the more you obsess over him, the more power he has over you, and the less that you’re able to get over him.
Instead of thinking about him, there are a number of things you can do to trick your mind into forgetting about him for a while, so that you can relax and stop obsessing.
There are a few great ways to do that. The most effective one is also the simplest – set your mind on someone else.
The more you think about him, the more you’re going to miss him.
It’s easier said than done, but by far the easiest way to get over an ex is to start thinking about someone else that’s new in your life. Think about other men and set your desire on them, and you’ll be shocked at how quickly your mind turns to the new guy (and not obsessing about your ex).
A great exercise is to try fantasizing about other men. Try to do it at least once per day. Even if it feels silly, pick the guy you’re most attracted to and go for it.
MORE: Complete Guide To Getting Your Ex To Miss You After A Breakup
It works better with guys you know in real life, but if you’re having trouble getting started then pick your favorite actor. The important part is that you do this once per day, and that you really stick with it. It might not seem like it’s doing much at first, but in reality it’s detoxing your mind consciously and unconsciously from your ex, and putting you in a much better mental state.
The third thing to do to erase his power over you is simple. Take out a pen and paper and write down all the things you didn’t like about your relationship with your ex. Everything he did that annoyed you, all the things you didn’t like about the relationship, and even all the things you didn’t like about BEING in a relationship.
Write all those things down and focus on them. That will help force your brain to realize that your relationship with him wasn’t all sunshine and happiness, and in fact there were a lot of reasons that you might not have been happy. Do that – and you’ll make huge strides in erasing his power over you.
So Other Than That, What Should You Be Doing During No Contact?
The best thing to do for yourself is to focus on yourself – and focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be.
One of the best possible things to do during no contact is start exercising (or to throw yourself into exercising if you already have a program).
Not only does it help you look your best, it gives you a place where you can stop thinking about your ex and just put all your focus and energy into your workout.
Plus, working out improves your mental state and makes you feel better about yourself. The endorphins flooding your brain help you detox from the relationship and move on even faster.
Getting compliments from other guys definitely helps you move on too. One of the best ways to move on is to have a bunch of guys in your life who are fighting for your favor.
When you’re friends with other guys, then your ex has to wonder if one of them is dating you. You don’t have to date any of them, but just being friends with them and having them around is enough to give you a confidence boost and help you get over your ex.
MORE: How Guys Really Deal With Breakups
Plus, you can use those guys as emotional support too, instead of feeling the instinct to lean on your ex.
Finally, the most important thing to focus on during the no contact period is your vibe.
What’s Your Vibe?
Your vibe is your most attractive asset. It can work for you or against you, and when it’s working for you it’s magnetically attractive to any guy. But a good vibe is one of the strongest tools in learning how to get back together with an ex.
Let’s be clear. Your vibe is essentially your mood. It’s how you’re genuinely feeling at the moment (not how you’re pretending to be, but what you’re genuinely and truly feeling deep down).
So when your mood is genuinely good, relaxed, and happy, your vibe reflects that. When you’re feeling anxious, worried, desperate, or upset, your vibe reflects that too.
There is nothing more attractive to a guy than a woman who has a good vibe. Women who have a genuinely good vibe are more attractive to guys than any woman with a bad vibe, even if she’s got supermodel looks.
The best way to understand what your vibe is and what it does for you is to use an example from your own life. Think about a friend you’ve known, either now or in the past, who just can’t help being negative.
There is nothing more attractive to a guy than a woman who has a good vibe.
It seems like every time you talk to this friend, they’re complaining about something that’s gone wrong in their life, or telling you about a problem that’s not their fault, or unburdening their unhappiness onto you.
It doesn’t feel good to talk to that friend, does it? When you see their name pop up on their phone, do you get this electrifying excitement?
No! You wind up with a sinking feeling in your gut! You’re not excited to talk to them, you’re dreading it.
That’s all because of their vibe. Because of their negativity, their vibe suffers, and it doesn’t feel good to be around them. If their vibe was good (because they worked on being in a good mood more), then you would feel happy and excited to talk to them.
That’s what you’re aiming for in your own life. When your vibe is fun, happy, and positive, people will be excited and happy to get closer with you.
MORE: How To Not Seem Desperate And Get Him Back
The best way to make sure your vibe is as positive as possible is to focus on making sure you’re in the best mood possible, and the best way to do that is to do the things that make you feel good.
During the no contact period, fill your life with things you love to do. Things that make you feel whole and that are massively fun to you.
When you focus on the things you really enjoy doing, it automatically improves your mood and revitalizes your vibe. One great thing to do is to put pictures of yourself doing all the things you love to do up on Facebook – because it’s super attractive to guys to see that you’re having fun and enjoying yourself.
Guys are attracted to a woman who has her own life, her own happiness, and feels whole outside of a relationship. In an ideal world, your relationship is just the icing on the cake – it’s not what makes your life good, but having it in your life makes your life better.
So focus on your vibe by doing the things that make you feel good and make you feel whole. When you do that, you naturally help yourself move on from the relationship (and become massively more attractive to your ex in the process.
If you’ve followed all these directions, eventually you’ll come to the end of the no contact period – and you’ll move on to Step 4.
Step 4: What To Do When He Reaches Out (Or How To Reach Out To Him)
At this point, take a second to pat yourself on the back. You made it to step 4 – and that’s worthy of congratulations.
At this point, the image of you as someone desperate, needy, and clingy in the mind of your ex has faded, and he’s almost certainly wondering what you’re up to.
He’s also thinking about the good times you two had together, now that the fresh memories of the painful breakup has faded.
And therefore, now is the perfect time to strike.
Here are the conditions you should have met by now, in order to maximize your chances of getting him back:
- You haven’t contacted him in a full 4 weeks and followed the no contact rule.
- You’ve gone out with another guy at least one time during no contact (this is maybe the best way to eliminate needy and desperate behavior and give you the best chance of getting your ex back)
- You’ve put time and effort into making your life better and making positive changes.
- You’ve fully accepted the fact that you and your ex have broken up, and you believe that you’ll be ok no matter whether you get back together with him or not.
- You know deep in your heart that even if things don’t work out with your ex, there are millions of other guys out there that can’t wait to give you the love and happiness you’re looking for.
- You’ve recovered mentally from the breakup and are in a much better mental state.
- You’re confident and convinced that getting back together with your ex is the right decision.
If you can check off every item on this list, then you’re ready to get in contact with your ex.
If he hasn’t contacted you by the end of your 4th week of no contact, it’s time to reach out and get in touch, then meet up, and then…
He won’t be able to help himself.
While he’s been missing you and remembering the good times, you’ve been improving your mind, body, and self-image, and the full package will be irresistible.
So if you’ve successfully gone at least 4 weeks without contacting him, and you’ve made serious improvements in your life (by following the advice in Step 3), then you’re ready to reach out to him.
Common Questions and Answers
How to get your ex boyfriend back?
Make sure to abide by the ever-important No Contact Rule. In this case, ignore your instincts (because they usually act like impulses and read as impulsive behavior). Make sure you take time needed for yourself to feel strong and confident on your own while you give him space. Make sure you do not, I repeat do not show any signs of codependency or clinginess when he does reach back out to you.
How to get your ex back quiz?
If you’re having any doubts on how to use the No Contact Rule, or the overall process of trying to get back together with an ex, take our ex back quiz here.
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can get your ex back or if he’s gone for good…
How to get your ex back fast by text message?
If you are looking for a quick fix or some quick ideas for initiating contact via text, be sure to keep the language casual. Treat him like a friend that you just want to grab a quick bite or coffee with. Would you put so much pressure on wording a text to hang out? Give him the same lack of attention to detail. Keep it casual, cool. Maintain a good vibe and exude confidence in your indifference.
How to get your ex back after a year?
The longer the time has been between the breakup and point of contact, the more of a conversation you might owe him. Reach out to him to meet up to talk, and be explicit in that you want to talk to him. Show him how you’ve changed over the last year and how you have become a less reliant woman. Remind him of the stunning and self-assured you that he fell in love with in the first place.
How to get your ex back when he has moved on?
Sometimes, no matter what you do, he might have just moved on. Which is okay. Be prepared to face this reality. We can’t control the hearts of others, but you should feel proud knowing that you put yours on the line and took a leap of faith. If he has moved on, respect his space. As long as you respect his space, you never know what the future will hold.
The Psychology Of How To Get Your Ex Back: What’s Actually Happening And Why This All Works
When you haven’t been in contact with an ex, sooner or later something will come up that reminds you of the relationship. And since you won’t be there anymore, they’ll start to miss you in those moments.
As time passes, that feeling of missing you starts to grow. And as even more time passes, they’ll start to worry and wonder if maybe they really have lost you forever.
This is the most critical moment that will determine whether you win your ex back, or let the relationship fizzle out into nothing, so pay very close attention here.
At that point, he will start wanting to get reassurance that he hasn’t lost you, or that he made the right decision.
He might start doing things (directly or indirectly) to check in on you and see if you’ve moved on.
This could include watching your Instagram stories or randomly liking a post of yours on social media. He might also start showing up to places where he knows he’ll run into you.
Or he might be more direct and simply reach out to you via text or phone call.
If and when he contacts you, be very careful about how you respond. One of the things he will be trying to figure out is whether or not you are willing to wait for him to come around, or if he actually could lose you if he doesn’t make a move to win you back.
The way to handle this requires a very specific, counter-intuitive approach.
Our instinct would typically be to agree to whatever they propose if we think it gives us the slightest chance of reconnecting. But that willingness and immediate availability is actually where the biggest traps can happen.
Here’s the issue: if your relationship was wishy-washy and uncommitted before the breakup, he’ll have the feeling that even though you’re currently broken up, you’re willing to continue being an option. You run the risk of becoming that person he can fall back on if things don’t work out with someone new.
You do NOT want to open the possibility of you filling a “placeholder” role, one where you’re not officially together, but still seeing each other romantically (despite there being no clear arrangement).
How To Handle If Your Ex Contacts You
The best thing you can do is listen to what he has to say. You can be civil and polite.
However, if the conversation moves to a place where he is testing to see if you want him back, do NOT give him reassurance that you’ll wait around for him to come back at some vague and indefinite point in the future.
It’s best not to talk about whether or not you’ve moved on at all, even if it’s true. If he asks you directly, you can say, “I’m not happy about the breakup, but I understand that it happened and that I’m 100% single now.” If he presses for more details, you can just say that you don’t want to talk about it.
If he really presses, you can ask him to clarify whether or not he wants to have a talk to get back into a relationship with you again. That way, the conversation avoids setting the expectation that you’ll wait around for him forever and you’re discovering what he’s thinking.
Ideally, that’s how you want this conversation to go: one where he reveals his thoughts and feelings to you without revealing the status of whether or not you’ve moved on.
If you’re directly asked whether you want to get together, you can say, “If you want to get back together in a clear, committed relationship, let me know if that’s what you want.” And if he says anything other than, “Yes, I want that” tell him that you understand and are open to the future: “If you decide that that’s what you want, let me know down the road.”
What’s most important here is that you don’t enter into a wishy-washy dynamic when he does start reaching out to you, or you risk getting into a dynamic where you are not in a clearly defined relationship, but are rather just a placeholder until he finds someone else.
The only way to really get back together is when both of you want a clearly defined, committed relationship.
If he’s not sure he wants that yet, then give him the space to decide if he does.
Either he will and you’ll get back into a relationship with a strong, clear foundation. Or you’ll discover that he is completely unwilling to get back into a relationship with you to a point where he’s willing to lose you.
I know the latter might sound disappointing, but it’s actually a very good thing to clarify as soon as possible. It’ll help knowing once-and-for-all that you did everything you could in your power to move on.
In this case, there’s no “I want to get back with my ex how-to” tip to use. Wouldn’t you want to know if the efforts you put in will be worth your while?
You get to have clarity, so you can move on knowing that it wasn’t going to happen and you can confidently open the door for someone new without worrying you’re making a mistake or gave up on something that could have worked out.
You get to finally see the truth of if he really was willing to ever commit to you in the way you really want.
It’s only when you are willing to walk away and he believes he’s truly lost you that he’ll do everything in his power to win you back and give you the relationship you want.
The good news here is that there are so many times, even in the most complicated and difficult scenarios, where the guy does come back and fights to win you back and you’re shocked that this guide worked so well.
This happens so often that I can confidently say with certainty that this guide isn’t just A way to get your ex to come back… it’s the ONLY way worth doing. Just make sure you remember that it’s for YOU too because that’s so so important!
How Should You Reach Out To Him?
When it comes to reaching out to your ex, the best way to do it is through text messages. You don’t want to call him right away – better to let him build attraction in his mind before you two talk on the phone.
So that begs the question – what kind of text should you send him?
When you’re breaking the ice and contacting him again, the best kind of text is one that gives him a reason why you’re texting him, and also gets him thinking about you again.
One of the best ways to do that is to tell him about something positive that happened in your life that reminded you of him.
The best kind of text gets him thinking about you again.
Maybe a tv show or movie you saw recently made you think of him. Maybe you saw a commercial for a vacation and it reminded you of a trip you took with him.
MORE: More Ways To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back For Good
Whatever it is – it’s an opportunity to text him, “Hey, I saw a commercial for a cruise the other day and it reminded me when we went to the beach for a week together. That was so much fun, I’m really glad we did that together.”
The most important thing to remember is that you want to be subtle and positive. You’re not texting him to try to get him back, you’re not texting him to remind him of the relationship, you’re not even texting him to get him to like you again.
The reason you’re texting him is because it would be fun and feel good to talk to him again – and nothing more. No hidden motivation (like trying to get him back), no manipulation, and no agendas.
Now, a lot of the time, your ex will actually text you first. And when that happens, you’re going to want to have the perfect response already lined up.
That’s why I wrote this article about how to respond to your ex’s text messages.
Whatever message you want to send to him (whether it’s “I miss you and would love to get back together” or “stop texting me freak I want nothing to do with you”), you’ll find out the best way to say it in that article.
Now let’s get back to getting in touch with him after the no contact period is over.
Whatever you do, when you first text him, don’t bring up the relationship or the breakup. Don’t talk about how much you miss him, or that you want to get back together, or that you’re miserable that he’s not in your life.
Along the same vein, never text him with negativity. Don’t send him bitter or angry messages that will 100% make him ignore your texts and undo all your hard work in the no contact period.
At the same time, your text can’t just be ‘nothing’ either. Sending him a text that says nothing, like ‘heyyy’, or just a smiley emoji is going to turn him off.
One more thing to remember: don’t text him over and over again. Give him time and space to respond to your text, and never send him more than one text message in a row without him texting you back.
MORE: Advice On Getting Your Ex Back
Here’s your mindset when you reach out to him: you’re happy, strong, content with your life, and fulfilled. You know you’re attractive, and you have full choice in your love life.
You’re not trying to get him back, you just think that it would be a shame to throw away such a good friendship that you two had.
The way to frame the conversation is just like this: you’ve reflected on the breakup, and you fully believe that breaking up was the right thing to do – and that it was for the best for both of you. Still, it would be stupid to throw away such a great friendship.
How To Meet Up With Him
The best way to ask your ex out again is not to call it a date. Remember – you want to be friends with him and keep your friendship going – and calling it a date is going to send him running (because it reveals that you have an agenda of getting back together with him, which will turn him off more than anything).
MORE: Tactics That Bring Your Ex Back To You
As long as you’ve completed the items on the list above and really put in the work, you’re going to feel and look great when you see him.
You’ll be super attractive, super confident, and super laid back – ready to just have a good time with him and enjoy yourselves together.
The best way to ask your ex out again is not to call it a date.
The most effective way to get him to come out and see you is by calling him. You can suggest meeting up for coffee or a drink, with the mindset that he’s just a friend you want to meet up with — not an ex-boyfriend you want to get back.
As long as you focus all your energy and attention on having a good time in the moment with him, and making sure that your mood is good (which contributes to an overall good vibe, which is the most attractive thing you can do), then the work you put in during the no contact period will do the rest.
Remember — the thing he’ll remember most about seeing you again (more than what you said, or what you did together, or who paid, or what you were wearing, or anything else), is your vibe.
If you’re wearing your cutest outfit and you’ve been working out and you look amazing and you have an awesome tan and you’re having a perfect hair day and you’re in a bad mood and have a bad vibe… that’s the only thing he’s going to remember.
(Sure, he might think “she looked good…”, but he’ll also be thinking “spending time with her felt really bad, I remember why we broke up.”)
It’s important for him to feel really good about spending time with you again… especially if things ended badly between you. The contrast between how things felt at the end of your relationship and how things feel now is key in getting back together with him.
If things felt awful, strained, and tense at the end of your relationship (which is very normal), then making sure your vibe is good is the best thing you can do. That way, he’ll be shocked at the difference in how it feels to be around you.
He’ll feel amazed at how good it feels to be with you if your vibe is good, which will remind him instantly of why you dated in the first place (and get the gears spinning in his head that you should maybe start dating again.)
If you’re in a bad mood and have a bad vibe… that’s all he’s going to remember.
All a bad vibe will do is remind him of when you two broke up and reinforce in his mind that you’re better off apart.
So remember: when you meet up with him again after your breakup, and after the no contact rule, your vibe is crucial!
I hope this helped you understand exactly how to get back with your ex and the exact steps you have to take. Even then, there’s one more thing to remember – even for the women who have had success getting back with ex boyfriends, it can still be very difficult to keep your man… unless you know how to make him want to be with you and only you forever. You need this secret formula to get your ex back in your arms for good. It will reveal how to get him to see you as “the one” and desperately crave you by his side forever. If you don’t read this now you might miss your chance to get him back forever so don’t wait: Do You Want Your Ex Back? Use This To Get Them Back…
Now, if you want to know what you should do from that point forward, you need more personalized advice. On to step 5…
Step 5: Take The ‘Can I Get My Ex Back’ Quiz
Take this quiz right now to get personalized advice based on you and your specific situation. This quiz will gather all the information necessary to knowing exactly where you and your ex stand, and what the most effective way to get him back is.
Take the quiz right now and find out for sure whether you can get your ex back, or whether you should move on instead.
Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…
Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?
Exactly How To Get Your Ex Back
- Step 1: Cut off contact with him
- Step 2: Avoid the fatal mistakes by ignoring your instincts
- Step 3: Get stronger while he gets weaker by working on yourself
- Step 4: Do the right thing when he reaches out to you (see above)
- Step 5: Take the quiz and find out exactly what to do next
I dated a guy 3/12 months it was amazing
We got a long amazing everything was great
He had an ex who was a narcaccist alcoholic they dated 4 years he was very into her. She was always contacting him but I really believed he moved on. He kept telling me I was his priority and wanted us to work. Around 3 weeks ago we went out had amazing time the next day he told me he didn’t feel good and became distant cold ever since. We saw each other 2 times and he said he was in his head but it wasn’t me. I am in health industry and nurturing by nature. We texted alot and spoke all the time, last Friday he broke up saying he didn’t see future and didn’t want to date his mother and we had nothing in common which is BS.
I said maybe we should spend time together doing something fun he said I love u maybe it happened too fast I have a great time with you something is missing and I don’t know what . I said you never communicated with me I had no idea if everything is amazing between us sex relationship etc why not try. He said no and left. I have not contacted him since, he did once 4 days later I did not respond he wrote a few hrs later I get it and tomorrow is a week.
I now feel like the rebound girl, nothing adds up. I met family friends and he always talked future and the no made it like I always did. I might of been too caring but that was cause he didn’t feel good so I would ask how he felt and we did text a lot.
Do you think I can get him back, I really liked him. I am an independent woman I left my job so I was available more but I never thought I was smothering.
I on’t know if he has seen the ex but I want him back. Realistically do I have a shot. He said he doesn’t want to waste time if there is no future.
Carole – OMG that literally just happened to me a week ago! Even the part about him being sick. We had this amazing connection and everything flowed without any effort. He said he was falling in love and hadn’t felt this way in years and years. He asked me to be exclusive and I was hesitant because I’ve never had anything like this that flowed so well. We talked hours and hours every day and I told him yes I would just see him and no one else. He got sick and at first I thought it was that and then he literally pulled back completely and said his ex contacted him. He said she had been blocked for about 6 months and for whatever reason they talked. He said he can’t be talking to her and dating me. It’s been a week and I have heard nothing from him. We had just got back from a trip he took me on at Christmas and he said it was definitely something he could have never done with his ex because she was so insanely jealous and he couldn’t take her out around other friends and work people. My head is still spinning here.
Have a question , we been together for 3 years he asked me marry him 12/2018 now his ex came in the picture she harass me until this day. My boyfriend does not want her but she arguing with me but I stood for myself but she continues to harass me. But the man I was with never said it over. So what am I suppose to do ? Just confused and broken hearted person. Please help me ……
Things can only work out in your relationship only if you give chance to the right person to assist you. My love life turned out to be something great after i contacted prophet munak through his details via email [holyprophet8@ gmail. com] I still can’t really say what prophet munak did actually but i can boldly say that the prophet gave my relationship that perfect fixing that my relationship was lacking happiness/love and through this my lover is seeking for me to marry him without wasting no more time.
Will it work if I was the reason of our break up? I mean, I triggered him and yeah, we both decided to broke up. We are still talking but I want to win him back. Will this work?
Will these 5 steps work if I have committed one or two of the fatal mistakes?
I have made 80% of the mistakes but am hoping it will still work for me. Worth a try. Someone said if he fell in love with u, despite mistakes he can fall in love again.
Can getting an ex back after being ignored for 7 months a possibility?
i need his validation
I don’t know whether I’m used to him or I truly love him ..a day without talking to him make my life miserable I want him back we used to be a Queen & King all that is gone now I loved him with everything I am … he makes me happy there’s no happiness in my life without him he brings the best in me ..I can’t lose the part of me
We haven’t even met yet, he’s a junior doctor he broke up with me saying he’s not in a good condition to be in a relationship, he doesn’t have time. He’s been busy with work and exams. I acted desperately I texted him long texts trying to change his mind. He replied saying “we’ll talk about it, was just feeling bad that I’m not giving you time” I continued texting he didn’t reply.
Me:” you will talk about it”
Him:I said so
Me:but the last time u said that u never talked again
Him: I knw
I texted a text telling him that I still love him and willing to make it work, he didn’t reply. I texted again with a questionmark. He didn’t reply. Is there a chance to get him back if I try NC rule? Help
This really works!! I followed every step -to the letter- 4 years ago when my ex left me. I had just had his 3month old son to add to my heartbreak. He started seeing another girl and yes that hurt like hell. Everyone – including his mother- told me that I should move on and concentrate on my kid. But I wanted us to be a family- I believed their was still good in him. Cut a long story short- it’s been 4 years, we are still together and so happy, I learned to forgive along the way. He is a changed man and devoted to me and to our now 3 sons. Btw It’s true about the 6 weeks reset- because I asked him a year later and he said almost word for word what this article said he would feel. This article saved my relationship. If he/she is worth getting back then do this- but please guys and girls if he/she is physically or emotionally abusive let it go- there is better out there for you and I want only happiness for everyone reading this. I got to know my ex again and discovered that he is my soulmate, he just had to grow up and become a man. We are getting married next year and all of that is because of this. Stick with it. Fall in love with yourself and he/she will fall in love with that new, wiser, confident, fun you x
What if he doesn’t seem to care you aren’t contacting him? Talked to my ex bf on July 5, 20 min phone call. Haven’t reached out since and neither has he. I have been regularly contacting him but have pulled back recently. He doesn’t seem to care or notice. He may be with someone new. Is there still a chance? I love him.
its cool I started to use it and its working perfect
I lost the love of my life over some stupid questions that to him he thinks is a form of mistrust.. For all I know I have never given him any doubts of cause… I trust him with my whole heart he makes my life so comfortable around him.he has asked for space my worries lies there what next am really torn
im so sry but you are perfect and if he does not see that then its his probalem not yours
Need help in getting my ex back
This is really good. But, I always believe that once gone is gone forever.
Still can give a try to these ideas.
I was talking to this guy for almost 2 years. We’re 6 years apart. I’m 19 and he’s 25. When we first started talking, I felt like our age difference would be our downfall. Not in an inappropriate sense but simply because we were on two completely different stages of life. Before we started talking, we assured each other that we were comfortable with the age difference. Neither of us expected to grow as close as we did or last as long as we did. Especially with the fact that he ended up moving to Pittsburgh due to his job and I live in Philly. We were literally like best friends. We told each other everything, we would sit and talk on the phone for hours about any and everything, we shared so many laughs. We weren’t problematic, we didn’t get into arguments or anything and we were also sexually active. Things were fine all the way up until October 2019. He just started saying little things like, “you’re too young to be talking to me”. Fast forward to November 2019, he started playing basketball after work on Wednesdays and every time he got home and called me, he’d be like, “I think we should stop talking and talk again when you turn 21”. I brushed it off cause it seemed crazy that he would decide to say that after all that time. I mean we’ve been talking since June 2018 so why wait until now. He also has bad anxiety and he’s the type of person who overthinks everything. Things got really bad when I made a careless mistake of missing my birth control pill. I didn’t get pregnant or anything but he was very upset with me about it. That’s when he really started acting different. He eventually stopped talking to me in December 2019 but I reached out to him a week later and we rekindled things. BIG MISTAKE ! He explained to me that it wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with me, he just was beginning to feel very uncomfortable with the fact that I was still a teenager. He said that he was trying to figure out whether he should be talking to someone a little more around his age or not. I was stupid enough to tell him that I would be okay with it if he decided to start talking to someone else. We ended up getting back together again and then he recently just stopped talking to me on Tuesday. We didn’t get into an argument or anything. We had literally just made plans to see each other. But this time I decided that I’m not gonna reach out to him. It’s been 4 days so far and I’m praying that this 4 week no contact rule works out. We truly are soulmates and I know that if it’s truly meant to be, he’ll come back and stay around forever this time.
Hello, I’ve been dating a guy from my work place for 6 months and we just broke up yesterday… we also travel together & I don’t know what to do because I truly love him more than my life and he tells me he hates me & will never want to be with me. This is the first day & it’s unbearably painful
I only love my ex so much,he found out of my former bf texts leading to break up ,hrlp
So the 4 week period isn’t up yet and my ex has been sliding up on some of my stories but I haven’t been answering and then he just said, “okay nvm…ignored” should I respond or not what should I do???
So, me and my ex had a relationship for almost 4 months. He had a relation before this and so did i. He had a relation for 4months and i had for 3years. I was teen and got into relationship. My first ex Didn’t had a good career and he often misbehaved with me. So i left him. And about my recent ex, his first relation broke up due to betrayal. Somehow we both got into relationship after two years of our consecutive break up. I love him so much. I did Everything he said. But he was never satisfied. When he got to know i had made out with my first ex and i left him for his career, he Didn’t take it nicely. My past had a negative impact on him. He always told if i could leave my ex even after having 3years old relationship, i could leave him too. But i assured him that i wouldn’t because i love him so much. He would always be sad that he was never anyone’s first love. He would break up with me every now and then and the next day he would say sorry. I would always take him back. But recently he said awful things to me and blaims me for everything and broke up with me. He called two days later. I Didn’t receive. He texted in wapp that he Didn’t feel bad leaving me and it was best decision and i would be happy so no need to worry. After 3days, he called me for 17 times and texted me to text him for 5 minutes. I Didn’t. Then he texted that i would get the same silent treatment from him if i try to contact him. I Didn’t reply either. I do love him even after all the things he has done to me. I want him back. Please give me some tips what to do
What if after he texts me after no contact and says ‘ I’ve missed my friend’? What does that mean? Is there hope to getting back together?
Most of The Times the problem was you are driving away him.Most women doesnot know how men think and what makes them interested in you,and those who does not won’t share them either.I was also in a same stat of mind few years back.And my number one advise is that if you ended things for a reason then its better to not get back again.But if you think that was a mistake then you should understand a bit about what makes the men tick.The short answer is bad communication.Yes men a the worst communicators and there are studies that shows then spoke very few words per day than women.So the basic thing is you have to understand whats on his mind.They are embarassed to talk about their feelings.And that’s because admitting to this desire actually moves him farther away from the goal.Also you have to make them feel needed.Well its also a lot of other things too.I cannot explain them all in this comment.But in my blog journal i had written what i feel.May be they are just my ramblings but i found them true in most occasions.
Y’all are making this too complex. Look, a guy falls in love through sex, he needs sex to fall in love, but he’s got to want to have sex with you and thats more than just being hot. It comes down to what you make him feel about himself when he’s around you. Do you make him feel competent, powerful, benevolent, like he’s capable and attractive and trusted? Or do you make him feel he cant do anything right, like a child, stupid, worthless, weak?
Often we women come across much more crutical than we realize. We are so socialized to being critiqued we just take it and deal. Men cant. They cant absorb it, it just sits on them and weighs them down. Always phrase any critiques positively? Sandwich it between two affirmations of good things he does or positive qualities. State you understand him. A man will “man up” when he knows his woman believes him to be a good man.
Listen to his converns, ask what you can do to help the situation. Back off if he says to back off. Otherwise he will lose respect for you. You might lose him but you will still have respect for yourself by acting with integrity rather than humiliating yourself.
But your chances are good, if you make a man feel attractive internally, he will want to be around you so he can keep ahold of that feeling.
Hello, it’s the best article I have ever read. I have just ended up the relationship with my boyfriend and the article gives me some insights indeed. But I was wondering if I could get personal advice? May I share my whole story and may I possibly get the most effective and suitable advice for my problems? I would be pleased if you reply me. I will be looking forward to….
What if I have already made this mistakes, is it still possible?
If he’s fallen in love with you before, he can fall in love with you again. There are really clever ways to make him miss you through text.
I really want to get back with my ex but What if I’ve already made all of the mistakes? Is it possible to still follow this steps and it will work out for me?
How about if he send gifts during no contact rule
What if you live together?
The No Contact role is a powerful method, it works great. At first cut all contacts, don’t text or call him. Give him the space and time to realize what he has lost by letting you go of. In the meanwhile make your life busier by getting involved in new activities. Take care of yourself, always be at your best behaviour, and wear an attractive dress that you know he likes, hang out with your friends and exchange jokes with them and laugh whenever possible as nothing had happened. Sure thing, when he sees that you are happy on your own, he can’t help but want to have you in his life once again.
Thank you, this was helpful and instructive to me as a guy. I like how things were explained step by step and with specificity. I think this works the other way around, too (trying to get a girl back).
Okay so I was dating a guy for 3 months. He chased me for 2 months.. and during the 3 months I went crazy I suppose got super needy and clingy . Which isn’t me.. this guy and I never faught and if we did it was very trival over within 5 mins. Wel he broke up with me but just said he needed some space. Now he been snap chatting me off and on and texting but we haven’t spoken about the break up at all.. idk what to do and is there chance. He was telling me he was scared to talk to me at first. We had an instant connection and he can’t wait to marry me and live and support me. Since he broke up with me I seen my mistakes and have told him sorry for them and that I realize it now and I promise it won’t be the same .
I’ve been speaking to this guy for a month, we had sex and we’ve been talking after that and he’s told me that he won’t leave and he likes me and my vibe but now when I asked him if he was still interested in me he just ignored me? What do I do!
He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?
This is all great advice, but in real life every situation is unique. My ex literally to this day still wants to get back with me, even though she broke up with me years ago.
I kept begging him after he broke up with me for over a month… and he says I’m bugging him. Do I still have the chance of getting him after using this no contact rule?
This is all good but how am I supposed to do this when we still live together. I hurt him again by calling him a name I should not have for the 2nd time and now we live together to finish a lease – which is in Sept. All he wants to do is move out but said he wont leave me hanging. Help!! What do I do?
I know this is an older comment but wondering if you able to get him back? And if so, How did you do it? I remember this happening to me. He felt soooo far away, yet lived in the same town. Needless to say, after I got him back, that time away made me realize, it wasn’t worth it! Hope you have the happy ending you wAnted
Following this advice helped me save my relationship. At the start I the break up I was messaging him a lot and begging to get back together. I looked stupid. After reading this I tried the no contact rule and focused on bettering myself and finding distractions when I felt the urge to talk to him. Just pretending to move on helped me feel a lot better about myself. We were later forced to work together and I kept my head up ignored him the best I could besides work relations and showed him that I can move on. Shortly after that he broke down to me about missing me and doing anything to have me back.
My ex boyfriend and I work in the same office and I am in the no contact period. I will have to see him every day. I am avoiding him completely. Is there anything in particular that I should keep in mind?
My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. He said he craves for independence and he he still loves me but that’s just what’s right to do. He pushed me away whenever I try to get close or hug or lean my head against his back. I really love him and I want to get him back but we are flatmates, we live together and I don’t know how to do the no contact? And I’ve gone home for a few days and I didn’t tell him where I was going. I’ll be going back in a few days and I’ll be seeing him again. What should I tell him if he asks me where I went? I don’t want to look like a loser grieving so much for our relationship. And I really want to get him back.
Please let me know thanks!!
My boyfriend and I broke up July 16th… I have already been contacting him via email text phone calls. Is the no Contact rule too late for me now? And the contact has truly been about him getting his things out of my house and getting things sorted that we had together.
If you make the mistakes listed, then do the no contact thing.
Will that make him forget that you made the mistakes? Or is it automatically doomed when you make them?
I’ m here writing about a boy again even though I ve promised myself I wouldn t. It s a boy from my village, always liked him but seemed so far away and the kind of chasing girls.Until 2 years ago he comes out of sudden where I was siting with my girlfriends and aks “accidentaly” who am i. Days after he reaches me at a cafe and asks if i’d like to meet him tonight. I was going through a difficult period and said to myself to say yes and give more chances without pushing situations and worry. i really thought it was a one time thing . turns out i really liked him and every now and then he texted me to meet. Eventually i invited him home since I was alone. After some days he came without telling me and rings my bell. he does come and check my house without telling me.Sometimes he opens up to me , talked me about his past,that he had a long relantionship that he can t get over. Also told me that with me it s not just sex but love. Even so when I leave from there he rarerly talks to me on fb or like my posts. Sometimes asks when I will come again, but lately he never talks to me or even say hi in public. Last time we met he was asking me things like if i had done something with someone else, if i have brought other guys at home, other time aked what was going on with some guy that was talking to me and things like that, but when i asked if he had done something with someone else he said yes and asked if it did matter. I didn t reply. He didnt talk to me or wished for my birthday.Now that i m here again for summer holidays he saw me my first week here when i was out saturday night and i returned home he showed up minutes after saying “i thought you would return this time”. It was really late,he stayed very little time And when he left said that we will talk again and “goodnight”. He hadhad to say goodnight since the first times we met. But a month passed and so sign of him. And to make matters worse, a girl we hang out with brought another girl here and immediately he talked to her,she gave him herfb,instagram in frond of me while i was trying to ignore him and he was talking to my friend next to me(?), he asked her go for an evening bath at the sea and next day he was out with them for coffee for hours,at the same cafe i was in. And im sure thethey were out together at night too… I m very devastated. He never sawed that kind of interest on me! Never invited me somewhere and he seems to talk to literally every girl but me! I don t know what to do! I m so frustrated i didn t sleep at all all night. I really havent talked to anyone about all this so i cant ask for any help or anything…please help me
What will I do to get my ex back to me
I met a guy whilst travelling in Australia, and we dated for four months and travelled together the whole time. He said he loved me many times, that I made him feel things he never felt before and couldn’t stand the thought of me being with anyone else. Things felt so perfect. He made me feel like he wanted me so much. We are both from the same area in the UK and planned to carry things on when getting home. The last time I saw him at the airport, he told me he loved me and would be waiting for me when I got home in 2 weeks. However, as soon as he arrived home, he told me he changed his mind and didn’t want to commit to a relationship because of work and because his life is too busy. In the same phone call he also told me that he didn’t want me to get with anyone else. I love him so much, I started no contact as soon as he broke up with me and we haven’t spoken since (its been 10 days). I accepted his decision and told him that I couldn’t be friends right now as it was too hurtful, and that he had no right to expect me to wait around and not get with anyone else. He got very angry at this and called me bitter and childish. I don’t understand how his feelings changed so quickly. We still stayed friends on social media. I upload photos of me having a great time with friends, never post anything negative (although deep down i’m really suffering). I’m focusing on me, have taken up a new hobby and started hitting the gym more often. I just love him and miss him so much, every morning I hope today is the day he will message to say he made a mistake and wants me back. Is there any chance he will come back soon? or eventually? I don’t know what to do to make this happen. Any advice would be great.
For the no contact rule what of if he views my status on IG but me don’t talk
My goes away for work in a month for at least a month. I have a son who he has become a stepdad too so we’ve agreed he keeps seeing him before he goes. How can I have no contact over the initial four months or do I do it when he is away? Don’t think it will have the same impact as he will be distracted by work and new environment!?
What can i do if i had done mistake and thats why he breakup with me…can i get him back?
If he truly loves you there will not be chance of breakup mind it girls
My guy and I stay under the same roof but he has an extra affair out there which I know of and he was like we will be sharing things accordingly even days too. How can I go about this please. I need an urgent response please
Why my ex told me his love me as a good friend?He like I hang around with him but he still wanna go out have fun.
Seriously,he almost just at home 3-4days a week since he broke up with me.
Things is happens two months ago,when I think everything is better ,then he come back home told me that we r not suit for each other we r end.
I am a backpacker in Australia and my visa expire in this Aug,in that time I need to go back my country or change my visa to stay with him.
And we still live together,sleep in the same bed.
I done everything,treat him well,nice to him.He told me that he treat me as a good friend,he love me as a good friend.
Even I ask him if I sleep with someone else what he think?he answered me “if u feel happy that’s fine”
So ,what can I do to make go back to me?
I already crying and can not do anything even job for two months.
Please help me.
Need suggestion as i am really upset and demotivated now.
Its been 1.5 years of my break up now :(
Last year we were about to marry, everyone was veryy happy, hi family and my family met then his mother ask for few details and wanted to do enquiry and all of my family and she said she wont allow me to work, i said yes to everthing as i was in love and wanted to marry him everything was soo good but just after the family meeting i said him that he shouldn’t speak a single word in front of his family as i was expecting him support me and say that its been 5 years we know each and already discussed everthing then i got upset from him , we faught and later on he said everthing to his mother and she start hated me , We broke up:(
I tried alot to convince him but he is not ready to marry me now and saying kundli is not matching and his mother is not agree now :( later on after 6 months he wanted me to go his home and say sorry to his mother but i denied.
I am really upset what to do now we are no longer in a talking terms now. I think he has move on .
How long would you say to wait?
For the No Contact rule, what if in the previous fights, he has never initiated contact (maybe once or twice only)? Will he contact me this time with me having no contact for the 4 weeks?
i want my life back kindly help me
Please what do you do if you have already committed the fatal mistakes and you want him back..
I was wondering the same thing. I read the Permanently one a couple months ago.
Hi, we work at same place and she sit just front of me so we see each other 100 times a day. Not able to apply no contact rule properly. Two months in no contact but not working as both are at same place. But whenever I text her in urgent no reply from her. In a month we will not be together, so should I wait to be apart when she will feel it or everything in her seems dead for me. I can’t take her rigid nature of not texting back or receive emergency call. What she want. I am not well and can’t focus on my personal life and career which is not good for me.
Please help me win my ex back.
Hi… my boyfriend quit relationship with me because i wrote to him too much messages and he was tired , i arguing and blaming him one week and the second week i apologised, i have changable mood, at last he told me it was normal relationshi and i woud not change, i told him albad words i wrote thousand messages , so he blocked me, then i begged from others mobiles he blocked me everywhere almost 30 peoples mobile, after one month no contact, i wrote to him, he wrote some short messages, then as i blamed him again he continued blocking, would he come back in my life again?
My partner and I have been together a little over two years but recently broke up (he broke up with me) and I want to follow all these rules, as I believe I am strong enough to do it and I absolutely want him back however we do currently live together and study at the same school. I’m living in a new town and don’t have any family or friends here so providing space is hard. What do I do???
Please can you help me Josh? Please
I dont feel comfortable sharing all the details bow, but i was wondering how i can implement the no contact rule? We have a child together and still live near by..
Hope to hear from you soon
I want my ex boy friend back. I miss him so much and I love him tooo much
I met this guy in June 2016 we started dating till we broke up in Dec 2017.
He always complained that I had too many male friends and these are buddies from way back.
I apologised and kept distance from my friends but it didn’t stop him from treating me like I didn’t matter what should I do please
Broke up with girlfriend after over 2 years together. We had some issues and had been to relate but finished counselling positively. Change of job had me move towns. She followed me 2 months later when she also had new job. My job fell apart and I had to quit just as she relocated. I then got work elsewhere on temporary basis but it went on for 9 weeks. We barely saw each other saw each other. I felt pulled work wise away from her and I allowed it to happen. We split. I was in denial for a month or so. When realisation hit I was heartbroken. I’ve tried emailing to say I want to get back together but she’s said she’s not in love with me and we have no future and that she wants space to heal.. I love her so much. I’ve written a heartfelt apology for hurting her but she won’t respond. I just don’t know what to do. I think she’s built up her barriers and is determined to put me in a box and ignore me. What do I do? I’m so very sad, really love her and can see all the ways we could have a really good relationship but if are doesn’t….
I was with my ex for 1 year and 3 months. Before our one year anniversary he told me he doesn’t feel the same way about me as he did before. He just said he fell out of love with me. I begged for him to stay and he stayed with me. Our relationship seemed fine but then in January he became super distant and I had a feeling he cheated on me so I asked him and he was honest about it. We broke up for a day then we got back together and on February16th he broke up with me. Almost every time I saw him before that I made the mistake of trying to figure out why he didn’t love me and how to fix it. I kept asking him serious questions and answers to fix the problem. I thought it would magically make him love me again. After he broke up with me I begged for him to stay for about a week and I am now trying no contact. Will no contact work? Should I just give up? Is it too late? I love him do much
My bf broke with me on the 25/11/2017. he said that “The light of our relationship is dying” then we broke up. we dated before but he dumped me first then he actually fell in love with me, then broke with me after one month (he broke up with me right after my birthday which it’s on the 24th of November) we haven’t texted each other for about four months, but he’s still following me on apps. i really, REALLY love him. i also so hurt myself a lot during that time. i don’t know how to get him back. I’m crazy about him. We also made a promise a long time ago about getting married. We always talked about having children and what to name them. i just don’t know why he walked away from me
my ex and i broke up a couple of months ago. He broke up with me because he did not want a relationship anymore and i cheated on him. We dated for almost two years..After our break up he wanted to be friends and i didn’t. i want to be more and this kept going back and forth. We did hu a couples of times and he would say i love you. He said he wanted something more but not a relationship and not exclusive. I told we can talk to be something or we don’t talk anymore so we agreed on not talking.. We were on good terms and we said i love you and stop talking for a few days. But i texted and he said he doesn’t want to talk to me and he doesn’t want to be friends anymore.. so i need advice should i just give him time and see what happens? what should i do? I still have feeling for this guy and i don’t know if he even does.
So my ex broke up with me a week ago (we had only been dating for two months but apparently it was his longest relationship in awhile) and we’ve been in contact almost every day for the past week just talking as friends so that we don’t lose our snapchat streak (I know that’s a stupid reason to keep in contact with someone). He already drunk texted me saying that he made a mistake but when I confronted him about it the next day he remembered what he said just fine but said he couldn’t get back together because he “needed to work on himself first”. I feel awful starting the “4 week no contact rule” since we’ve been chatting for so long but I really want him back. What do I do?
Me and my girlfriend split up late November 2017.
We were together 3 and a half years, went on three holidays, had two flats (apartments) and a pet dog.
We were always together, and always said that we were soulmates and best mates who wanted to marry, have children and stay together forever.
Anyway, the reason we split was because I developed a drinking problem due to the fact I was miserable at work and I hated my job.
I made a couple of mistakes when drunk, briefly messaging two girls (no flirting!!!)
I never cheated on her and was always loyal, but the drink made me a different person and she always said she missed the old me and not the new horrible me.
We would argue during our third year quite a bit. I stressed her out quite a bit and we would fight, which I deeply regret.
When we split I left the flat (apartment) and moved up to my grandparents.
Just a few days later though we started to see each other again (going for walks with our dog, holding hands and even kissing).
December was a pretty weird month because although we were not together we were seeing each other every now and then and acting like nothing had ever happened. We even had sex a couple of times.
On Christmas Eve however she told me she was seeing somebody else, which hurt, but then a few days later (28th) I FaceTimed with her, and she even invited me over to our old home where we kissed again. Had I not of had work that night she probably would have let me stay over.
Anyway after that we started to argue a little more after, with admitting that it’s for the best we stay split etc.
We exchanged argumentative texts after that, with her admitting she never loved me and I was a mistake etc etc..
Is she angry?
The last time she text me was two weeks ago, and we’ve not had contact since.
I think about her constantly and want to show her that I’m determined to stop drinking and get back to my old self.
I desperate to change my ways and make her fall in love with me again.
What shall I do?
Can she just fall out of with me love and move on?
Is she thinking of me still?
I’m scared she won’t ever speak to me or text me again.
My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago and I’m lost without him.
we met abroad during an exchange and we don’t come from the same country. So when the exchange was over I decided to move to his country where he was finishing his study. I didn’t really know anybody there nor the language which made it a real challenge ( but I thought a real proof of my love).
He is a very social man, has always been, I on the other have had troubles in the past making friends. But I wanted to make it work, to make the efforts, and I started really believing in a future with him, started making plans and projects with him I never thought of ( children, work…). We lived for months together there (10 in total)
He broke up with me first: he said that it was because he felt like we didn’t have a future together, that it felt impossible that i learned the language ( which i was doing), that I was asking for too much of his time, that he didn’t feel like he could do all the things he wanted with his friends. but I couldn’t accept it, I wanted to fight for the love we had, so much, I negociated, I asked for more time, I begged, I told him that if he still loved me it would be worth it. after a day of speaking he said ok. A week after I asked him again ( because I was afraid and I had been walking on eggshells all week), he said that he still had that feeling that we wouldn’t be together forever, but he told me he loved me and he really wanted to work for it, to work on it and make it work! ( i was so happy!)
It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.
The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own.
We went back to our place and he told me he wanted to break up with me for sure. I tried to reason with him again, to give me more time But he was sure, he had felt bad about changing his mind before apparently; after a couple hours of heated conversation, of me trying to convince him, he even told me he didn’t love me anymore ( which I’m not sure about, was he saying that so that i let go?). I gave in and we took my flight ticket back home. We spent the day after together, it was awesome and incredibly sad. I didn’t want to believe I was letting go of a life I wanted so much. He was so sad too, it felt like he was hurting a lot too.
I took the plane the day after, he drove me there.
I have been wondering how to make him love me again, realise he made a mistake and give a second chance. It is even harder as he is in another country. Plus, I really don’t think the NC rule would work on him, because I have been the one who asks question in our relationship, who kept the conversation going when we lived apart for a few weeks. I believe if i implement it now, it will just give him the opportunity to move on, to forget me, because he has a lot going on otherwise (studies, friends, handball, parties…). Did i also ruin my chances by begging for it so much?
I lost the love of my life over something stupid that I did. Long story short, I lied about my age. Although she didn’t care about my real age, it was the lie I carried on for a year that was part of the reason we broke up. She came from an emotionally abusive marriage and had baggage from that. And two kids who I came to love dearly – and who got along very well with mine. I know that she had issues stemming from childhood, specifically trust. But she’s an awesome girl – the love of my life, my parallel. But I messed up – I lied. Honestly, the lie started because I was afraid that she would be turned off when we first met (she’s 28 and I’m 48)…so I told her I was 44. Every time she brought up age stuff, I steered the conversation away. I wanted to tell her so many times but I knew that if I did that would end things. So I let it go and my heart is breaking because of it. It was her abusive ex-husband who cued her in and she defended me to him until I admitted it. Now, she won’t have anything to do with me. The breakup ended VERY BADLY. Probably the worst I’ve ever experience. Yelling/screaming/crying/etc. She said she can’t believe a word I said and felt like I used her for sex. She said that if I ever contacted her again that I’d be sorry. So I haven’t. At first after the breakup I did what everyone does – texted/called/emailed. I didn’t know of these steps. At any rate, she won’t talk and the last time we did I was met with extreme hostility. I know this one is done. Had I followed this advice there might have been a chance. But I doubt even that. Lessons learned the hardest of all ways. I wanted to marry her. It would have been my second and her third. I love her with all my heart and soul – she his my parallel. The yin to my yang.
I am suffering from a very bad break up. It’s already been 25 days for our break up and I am still at the same position, broken down, crying everyday.
Everything was going very fine, and suddenly he messaged me that he doesn’t even want to be with me anymore because he doesn’t feel for me the same way he did. Everyday he was like, he is not going to come back and all. When i came from my home to my college, he is also in the same college, we met again, but still he was like doesn’t have feelings. We spent time as he was clearing the facts that he doesn’t feel for me but still care for me. We shared some intimate moments and he is like that was only one moment, that’s it. How come feelings got vanished suddenly. We never fought and I supported him a lot in every aspect. i have tried so many things to save this relation.
He is having flings now and he always ask me to be his friend, but how can I even be his friend.
I cannot forget him, i have realized that i cannot forget him.
I have tried all the things very hard to forget him but cannot.
I just want him back into my life again. I love him so much!
Please help me out. By these things, will he ever come back?
Don’t worry just give him time. This situation happened to me. With my bf we quarrelled so severely that I thought i never could get him back and i stopped even trying. I didnt call and write to him about 45 days and finally before new year he wrote to me saying he is so sorry. He could even dated with another girl in that short time. I could never imagine he would come back to me i thought it is really impossible cuz we had really severe continuous argument. So just give time and dont be clingy. Start your own life noatter he comes back or not
I met a guy whilst on holiday in Egypt. He seemed really lovely and we saw each other every day and eventually went to his flat ad stayed there at night with him so we were spending 24 hours a day together. Hr said he loves me and wants to marry me I didn’t take it too serious but then I found I had called for him. On my last day he gave me his number and Facebook. When I got back to England I looked at his Facebook it was all women tourists which he has commented on their wall my love habibi and sending hearts to them. The two profiles I could see were a year ago these comments were made but I would not have gone there at all of I had of seen this to start with. He also had one for Arab friends. I went to finish it because I am 43 and he is 26 and I can’t be doing with the drama of Facebook. He never added me but said he would delete his facebooks it took him a couple of weeks but he did it. I said messenger as well because of all these women he had contact with. He said he would and he did. We have spoken everyday and night then hr started no messaging me at night his cousin told me he takes women out shopping at night for money so when he wasn’t messaging me he was doing that and he was saying no women. I made a fake profile of a woman who was gorgeous and he added her on messenger before he deleted it.It came to a massive argument he said I was jealous etc and he said he wanted to finish it. I did a terrible thing and emailed his work and told them he was taking women outside the hotel (they aren’t supposed to) and he got fired. When I got a response from the hotel they said this isn’t the first or last time it will happen that’s why he got fired. We still were speaker he was still telling me he loved me and messaging me but he was sad about loosing his job and I feel so guilty I just got sick of the lies (if they are lies) I was to meet his family and then we were planning to get married. I forgave him for all that because I know I can be jealous. I don’t know if it because I wouldn’t act like this when I have a boyfriend. Anyway a week ago he sent me a message saying I will need forgive you for loosing my job no work etc. Although I had sent money equilvilent to his monthly salary that he lost and said I would do it every month till he gets a job because his family rely on HIM for money. We had a n arguement he blocked me off wats app downloaded messenger again. I downloaded viber a day later and said I loved him he said he loved me and missed me and hr wasnt going to delete messenger although he says he wants this to speak to his family he has gone to see his family so I wander is he speaking to the women he had on Facebook? He hadn’t initially told his mom about me sending and email to his work bit has now told her she says I am bad and he isn’t to marry me he said loves me still I said I will leave him till he has got rid off messenger. He said OK I love you and that was three days ago. I read this article and feel better but I do miss him but do wander is it worth all the bother with this silly apps x
And what if after all of that he don’t even come back to me
What if he doesn’t contact me after 4weeks?
This article was really helpful to me thank you
I blocked him for the reason that he’ll be wondering what I’m doing now.But,just found out he’s with another woman already.Help!
So Ik it says to start over but.. I said “Hey” this morning and he didn’t even hear me? Do I still have to start it all over again??
my relationship was of 2.5 years.its been two months(breakup).reason was that i was saying him to take breakup because he was busy two three days.it was like three breakups in a week and then patchups becuz of me.i was always do this brkup dialouge when i was quarrelling with him.this time it gets serious.he is saying that there are 6-7 years to our marriage.it cannot get to the marriage like this.i am also an introvert type.this is also a little problem.my relation is long distant.we didnt meet.means breakup was on watsapp.
What to do when I have made the mistakes? Does he will forever leave me?
Can somebody answer this please. I too have committed fatal mistake. Does that mean I won’t be able to get him back?
What to do when I have make the fatal mistakes?
I need advice. We met on match.com and only dated about 3 weeks but had a great connection from the very beginning. Plus we share a lot in common (we agree about a lot, graduated high school same year, kids are same age). But he broke it off because 1) we moved too fast (didn’t have sex but went further than we intended by date 2) and 2) we’re in different places in our lives – I’m going through a divorce and he’s been divorced for years. I’m devastated. We ended things amicably last week (I didn’t fight it, though I wanted to) and we haven’t been in contact. But he’s been back on match.com already. My question is, what are our chances for trying again in the future? Did moving too fast derail us completely?
Hi. I dated this guy last year , but unfortunately it didn’t work out between us cause I was unreachable and shy. We pretty much texted the whole time and met a few times. I fell for him and he said he had feelings for me too . But all of a sudden he wanted to be just friends. We had 5 months long an emotional relationship/friendship and 5 months a non-emotional one. I kinda acted out there. He started giving me less atttetion day after day and we started fighting every now and then and I got super jealous when he talked about this other girl he liked. Eventually he called the friendship off. I asked him to block my number and social accounts so we wouldn’t have contact . It’s been 4 months now and I miss him everyday. I’m madly in love with him . Haven’t heard of him for 4 months and I want him back. I can’t get over him being gone from my life. Please help. What should I do ? Why am I feeling this way.
I think the no contact rule is the best piece of advice. There is no way to get an ex back without this.
My situation is a little different than most, we’ve been together for 5 years and he’s currently in the military now, he just ended things, with multiple reasoning but the last one was him saying he didn’t have time for a girlfriend nor did he want one. It’s been a week since we broke up and also a week of NC, I haven’t reached out, but is this going to work, is he really going to miss me even with us being so far away and his schedule being so hectic?? Please someone give me some advice…
MY EX and i broke up a week ago. I want him back. I believe we were good together. But we work together, any advice on how to deal with that? He explained why. He cared about me alot and didn’t want to risk hurting me because ehe was going through something. That he needed to be alone. I told him I was willing to be there and wait for him that wasn’t a good reason to end things. He said no I shouldn’t we went back and forth. At some point we broke up. But I said I’m waiting for him for a while. We were both crying. He told me if I’m still around and he was better we could try again. I just feel my heart is missing a piece
Similar situation, Charlotte. I’ve been going through some rough anxiety and depression and have been moody a lot and he decided it is not right for him. We had planned a life together. We were so sure we were meant for each other. I am trying so hard to get back to myself with a change of medication. It’s difficult because we do work together. I’m devastated and lost.
I had the man of my dreams but due to my own trust issues and insecurities
I managed to push him away he has now told me he needs time and space which is killing me inside… We also worked so well together but as soon as we were apart I would think he is cheating on me etc… I now I can see how stupid I was for bringing all the hurt and distrust into this relationship… I just hope I haven’t lost him forever… How are you coping?
Hey. Is it a violation of the “no contact” rule if the following happened?
So he moved out of my flat but he left the majority of his stuff here at my apartment. I went on a trip and I asked him to take his stuff from my place for good, he had 7 days for that. When I arrived home, nothing happened, his stuff were still here. During my holiday I didn’t contact him, when he messaged me, I didn’t respond him. When I was traveling home he messaged me like “we need to talk.” I didn’t know what could happened, so I replied with a simple “about what?” when he told me he didn’t have the emotional strength to take his stuff and he also was worried about me that if something terrible happened to me or what? So I replied to his messages focusing on the context like “I’m gonna pack your stuff alone” and then he asked me if I need help with it, I answered him with a simple “no”. So did I violated the “no contact rule” here? Can we consider all this as “emergency”? and also do you think I made “one of the biggest mistakes” by being too cold or rude? Please help me, I don’t want to drive him away, I don’t know what to do. :(
Personally, I wouldn’t consider it an emergency if he’s without some of his stuff. However, if for whatever the reason he was so worried something happened to you, at some point he would ACTUALLY start looking for you, whether it’s at work or at home, in which you would find it sweet of course, but at the same time you can tell him you’re fine and just need some space.
Tips for getting an ex-girlfriend back when she has moved on? Is it even possible to win her back?
After a healthy and happy relationship for 10 months, he told me his ex wife wants to get back with him. I asked where does this leave me within this equation, he wouldn’t respond, So I asked him does he love me, he said no he does not love me and had never made empty promises nor used the word love! I broke it off and now it’s been 7 weeks without contact! I was hoping he would realise my absence and hold onto the good memories we had together. Will he contact me as I am following the no contact rule as you advise
He was my bestfriend for a while and then we found out that we actually love each other so we dated for a few months and then he told me that we should go back to being bestfriends to protect what we have because we can never be together or get married due to our religious beliefs.. when we started doing that he was already talking to another girl who follows the same religion as him and i got jealous and got into many fights with him about that .. that lasted for about 2 months and then he got sick from my craziness and told me that we should be just regular friends not even bestfriends and we shouldn’t text everyday or call each other unless there is something important.. that was about a month ago .. i begged him to become bestfriends again i talked alot and tried everything i could do but it was no use .. yesterday i talked to him about it again and he told me that being just friends is his final decision ans he won’t change his mind and i should act that way and just let it flow .. i hate the fact that he’s in control and that it was his decision to be just regular friends. Moreover, he and that other girl became really close I’m not sure if they are dating or not but i know that they talk and hang out alot .. we go to the same college so i see them together alot .. whenever he sees me he acts normal as regular friends .. what should i do to go back into being bestfriends again ? What should i do to win him back after he said that he already moved on? I’m not sure if the other girl is a rebound or everything between them is real also.
I just started the no contact phase last week. It has been 3 weeks since we have broken up. She’s currently talking to someone and things are moving fast. She told me it wasn’t a rebound. So I wanted to ask when I was finish the no contact phase, should I still text her or wait until she’s single again (if she ever is.) please someone help me!
He broke up with me last Monday after 1 year and 3 months, for me it was the happiest time of my life and we never fought and had a happy and loving relationship. Reading this has really helped me as I’m going into my second week of NC tomorrow. I genuinely think we both needed a break but I’m not going to sit here and believe that we’re gonna get back together I’m just going to do my 4 Week Detox, then go from there. Wish me luck . X
My ex and I broke up a few months ago, I cheated on him, he pretended to forgive me and then he moved on to someone else and then I went through all stages of crazy. Begged him to take me back, spoke to the new girl and told her all the reasons he wasn’t right for her and then he decided to break up with me for real. Claimed what he had with her was ephemeral but I ruined his reputation when I spoke to her. I tried the no contact, did it for 9 days, then I panicked and begged him to take me back, of course he said no, there’s someone else. Then after that time, we met up a few times and had sexually related stuffs…no penetrative sex. Then I decided to restart the no contact. Intend to start tomorrow, unfortunately we are classmates. Yesterday I tried to get him jealous by telling him I met a more handsome guy. He told me many reasons why this guy isn’t right for me. Anyways I am scared that if we continue this way, I’m going to be friend zoned so much that we won’t have any chances again. I don’t want to block him over whatsapp because then he will probably block me too and feel I’ve moved on with this other guy. But it’s quite difficult doing no contact when he is constantly trying to communicate and also, I’m from Nigeria. Virginity means alot to guys here. He was my first and unfortunately the new girl he’s with now is also a virgin and very hot
Is it appropriate to post or allow friend to post pictures in my social media like FB of me with another male?? even if we are friends but it can come across as more then friends. Is been 3 months that my on-off boyfriend of 4 yrs left the house we share for the 3 years, his excuses was that I would be better without him, is not the first time he leaves but I had been the one who always reach out to him and “convince him to come back”, I want different results so is been 2 weeks that I staring applying the no contact method and he has not contact me either.
Long distance relationship, We dead-loved each other for one year and then I broke up. She left immediately and I missed her for two weeks and texted back. Three months I didnt care, She kept texting and called. slowly she came up with this breakup thing. All of a sudden she declared breakup and I couldnt digest it. I begged her for 2 weeks. Will she get back? How long should I wait?
For the last 3 yrs I was the one who reach out to him every time he leave, now I am applying the no contact, is been 2 weeks, is been hard but I told myself I will have to keep my ground for at least 3 months before I consider reaching out to him. Do you think he will reach out to me this time around? if so, any idea after how long he will reach out to me? I think I may got him used to me giving in all the time.
I’m sorry Eileen, i keep bugging…but he thinks I’m playing mind games w him bc I messed up in the beginning and it was a complete misunderstanding… and said if I don’t get in touch with him that he will find someone else to keep himself from getting depressed. It’s funny bc ever since I been giving him space, he been trying to text and call me alot…this guy is very difficult since I used to push him away bc I felt like I was not good enough for him…I’m trying to b positive
If he really loves you he will not find anyone.. don’t worry he will have more clarity by NC.. i have 1 more week for NC.. thinking that he will find someone = Lack of self confidence.. I lost my self confidence but now little by little im gaining it back.. Be strong don’t answer his call or text don’t reply.. Pray harder
Day 24 of no contact here!! I accidentally but dialrd last wk. Is that considered as breaking NC? Pls help!! I need your opinion everyone
Today was the day I did not respond his text, however he called me and I answered. Do I still ignore his text when he tells me that he will disappear and not bug me anymore? So lost and confused, will this 4 weeks detox really work? Help
Give him time to miss you.. yes it’s effeftive i heard.. stay strong be positive!
What if he gets mad if I don’t respond if he says good night to me today?
I promise he won’t get mad if he loves u he wont get mad.. you’ll feel a lot better im on day 23 now.. I accidentally butt dial his # last wk i dont know if that’s considered breaking no contact
We recently broke up less than a week. He been texting me good night for the past 2 days, am I breaking the 4 week file, if I respond to him good night only?
No reply at all for no contact he won’t see the difference anymore being with u and being w\o you.. make him miss you.. no reply at all..my problem is I accidentally dialed his#.
I am in day 21 of no contact last week I accidentally diales his phone while my ph is inside my pocket. Is that considered breaking no contact?
So my ex boyfriend and I were together for a year and 4 months. Honestly he was obsessed and so was I but i became too comfortable. He was my world and I never thought he would leave me. He would always chase after me and showering me with love and it made me the happiest person alive. One day he got tired of fighting with me and he dumped. told me he didnt want me anymore. I looked like a fool, i begged i cried i ran after him but he just walked away with his head up. it was so painfully. he blocked me on everything so i dont have contact but if i text him he will usually unblock to read my messages. it hurts so bad and as messed up as it is i still want him. I want him back so badly it kills.
A week ago my boyfriend of 7 years told me that he wasn’t in love with me anymore. That he still cared and loved me but that he wasn’t happy and the spark was gone. He was my whole world, this has been the hardest thing I have ever done. The problem is that we have to still share an apartment together for another month until I can get my own. I have been trying to stay busy and thinking positive thoughts. But it’s hard when you still have to see him.
How many days it will take to get him back?
So i was dating my ex for 2 and a half years he told me that he always thinks theres someone out there better for him. What do i do i love and miss him so much. We never fought and i was so good to him. He said it was hard to let me go
Hi, my ex broke up with me a while ago. We went full no contact for about 8 weeks and then he finally texted me to catch up. We talked for about a month, hooked up a couple times, and he was treating/talking to me as if we were a couple. I want to get back together. So I’ve told him I still have feelings for him and eventually want to get back together. I know he still has feelings for me but he says he doesn’t know what he wants (We’re also doing long distance so this is a big reason of why he doesn’t know). I told him a week ago I can’t be just friends anymore so I went into no contact again. Was this the right move? I want him to realize he does want to get back together and be more that friends. Should I have just stayed friends and waited? Or was it smart to go no contact again!!
im having the same thing your having but mine are worst.
he broke up with me and blocked me after saying to me lets stay friends i didnt agree on friends plus we didnt have a fight he just broke up with me, after 3 weeks i texted him asking about him and he responded and i closed the convo,
after another 3 weeks which is yestarday i texted asking about him telling him i missed him and he responded asking about me and then he ignored me,
i deleted the message and i wont reach out to him again,
believe me males are selfish if u agreed to stay friends he wont want u back cause ur doing what he wants not u he wants by his side to not lose u and talk to and act what he wants whenever he feels like it,
you did the right thing, dont take it as no contact take it as moving on..
im doing the same thing you’ll do now your not alone i know it hurts but that what u should do, let him lose you and thinks hes a failure dont allow him to think he can play with your feelings, your not his toy if he cant decide what he wants then leave him to grom up and make decisions in life, hes immature and you did the right thing your so smart of going no contact and standing on what you want bravo, now do not let him take advantage and decide what he wants do what you want, you want him as a bf he didnt respect that he wants friends you dont so bye to him and lifes always comes around believe me one day he’ll come begging to have you back.
I called after a week of no contact & we pretty much were on the verge of breaking up but he confined it. It’s that he owed me money so I left a message and plus he told an ex I was doing drugs and doingbsexual acts for them. So I was pist off after she sent the message about what he told her. So now what do i do i know i should habe never contacted him but I was angry
My bf broke up with me 1 week and a day ago and I miss him a lot and idk if he still loves me because last year he LOVED me we dated an entire summer then he broke up with me and I want to know why but we never even talk at ALL any more I need help with this problem give me some advice pls
muskan i prefer u to do what has been given above about no contact and all and i hope you wld get him back coz my story was same as of u
It really working,like my ex she want me back.bfor she left me,she want freedom i hav given har the chance now she want me to be with har againe. In my mind i said no vacancy againe.
my bf left me for another girl.he keeps telling me that i am nothing to him.he wants to b with the other girl.he has no feeling for me anymore.this has started more than one year ago.by this time he also speak to me but not on his own mood or to rebuild our relationship.he does so becz i request him to be with me at least for some hours or some minute… we talk only 2 or 3 days per a week…but I can’t stay without him I want him back.plzz help me…if this is possible for me to get him back as my bf again??
Yes for real you can get him back my sister had the same probke
my bf left me for another women.
..can i get him back???he talks to me very rudely..he acts like that i am nothing to him.he talks about the girl everytime when we talk to each other..he says that i am nothing to him..what can I do????plzz help meeee……I want him backk
i did no contact rules 3 weeks ago now he is the one chasing me like crazy but am not planning to text him yet yes i miss him alot but i have to finish no contact rules everytime i get bored i read this artcle just to be busy thank u
i tried this n i was successful to hav him back but again he left me should i again try this rules??
Yes, please do.
Easily said than done but its the only way to get your life back. Reality hurt anyway so fighting back is our only chance.
So the one I love just stopped contacting and stopped taking my calls all of a sudden and everything was perfect the day before…but when there’s a call with another line,the dude picks up….do you really think the no contact rule will work in this case?….Please help
So my bf of almost two years changed our relationship from exclusively dating to date others. He did it because he met someone else. That first week was horrible since he’d still contact me daily. That hurt more than anything.
We’ve had 3 dates since then. But as he’s seeing this other girl it’s hard for me. I am in love with him & have gone on a date with someone new as well as plans to date more guys.
But I feel it’s time I actually break up with him. It’s like I’m the backup plan, as discussed in Forever Faithful. It’s been a full month.
How do I tell him I don’t want to see him? Yes I do want him back exclusively as he is my one. Our relationship didn’t have any problems. I personally feel at 50.5 years old he’s going through a mid-life crisis.
The other hard part is we were in a Dominant/submissive dynamic too. That in itself caused me to be needy for his attention and his world became my priority rather than focusing on me.
His intention was to stop doing dates with me after this weekend until Aug when we had plans to go to a concert. I asked him yesterday when after the new gf told me he wasn’t going with me (he said he still planned to go) did he really think I’d be okay with that? I feel he doesn’t really know me. He really believes I’ll just wait around for him.
So to do this no contact for 4 weeks do I even tell him it’s over for me or just start it since as of yesterday he’s upset with me I let the new girl know we’re still dating. And yes it appears he’s lying to both of us.
But I do want him back.
I officially broke up with him last night. No contact started today after we got back from camping. He said “I’m sure we’ll see each other”.
I replied back “no” got in my vehicle and drove away.
I’ll update in 4 weeks.
My boyfriend told me that he wants space and during the space period he wants to do whatever he wants then when things work out we’ll get back together… I told him I’m not going to allow you to do whatever you want and he said it’s not considered as cheating cause we’re not together
I fear to let him go but at the same I miss & love him. But then I want to go over the break up and not getting him back
honestly I did not show appreciation to my ex while we together. I missed valentines day and his birthday. when I decided to make the best of times with him it was to late. then I asked him for closure and he came talked in person. I told what if I got therapy because there is something going on that effects my relationships. he told its been three weeks and I’m over you….. I cried of course then looked at him and said I feel better. just got sick of being sad, doesn’t mean I’m over him. but its step. then I told me what was really going on and told he’s proud of me said I’m strong person and good girl. he told me to feel free to talk to him and said he wont be jerk to me. he also wants to improve. it sucks that I was to occupied with other stuff in life that i didn’t learn to understand him but oh well. that doesn’t mean has feelings for me. sadly I cant live in world that revolves around him I must create my own world and keeping living up to my goals. this relationship may have been painful but helped realize what I need. we are blind from pain because only look at the bad qualities that it brings us but we all need realize its actually beautiful because it shapes us. I’m going to embrace it this break up..
I want my girlfriend back beautiful message girl in Merimbula and cute and funny and guy make smile and laugh and better things to say that I love you Ada Baker biggest love heart hot and sexy girlfriend and her beautiful person my brother and Trisha getting in Engaged wedding on 14th April next year church so I love my girlfriend so i gotta love to her help me with any of the world very much
i had broke up with girlfriend from 5 months, i tried call and massages and also tried to meet but i had no contact of you,
she disturbed from my call and massages and block on social netoworking sites. now she unblocked me, i am trying to massege like, hiii and hello
and she replied little, i am trying to conviced her but she is ignoring me and want to move on.
Before 1 month i visited your websited and try to following your stepps. now she is respoding me well than before from her social status and posts.
1 day is left to complete your steps of NO CALLS & MESSAGES, After complete it, what will be your suggetions for this situation.
Her Birthday is coming on 9th may, So i just want to ask you What will be your suggetion on that, should i meet her???
He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?
Yes, he may, but at least you’ll know and can then get peace.
My vibe was affected by stress of school and radiated out into other areas of my life without my realizing…granted my ex never communicated how I was making him feel, but the breakup made me realize what had happened and how i can get those stress levels down and vibe up…I am prepared it is too late…he will never be able to share those vibes. But if he doesn’t hes also missing out because I feel good, a little sad it didn’t work out, but good overall.
I love this article, I am definitely going to follow your advice. My only concern is that my ex might’ve done the 4wk no contact along with every thing else to me already. He now texts me everyday and he recently told me that he loves me and he misses me but hasn’t said he wants to get back together and he is talking to another girl. Should I still do this?
At first he said he needed a break and after three weeks plus he called it off totally, he has a strong mind too. H e called on my birthday and said he misses me, but its been two weeks plus after the real breakup, can i still get him back with this tips?
i had a boyfriend we were serious now its been more than a week i did no contact or begging or crying since hes been gone he have a new girlfriend they been together for a year it broke my heart hes with another girl i really miss him like crazy i cant stop thinking about him can i get him back or its too late??
Been trying to slowly get my long distance ex back since January, and we’re on speaking terms again now, and even though that’s a huge step forward, I still have doubt. He’s always been a kind of distant person, and since he first reached out to me like 2 months back, I have initiated all conversations since then. I’m suspecting that’s what you call the hot and cold-treatment? Still, I really wanna get him to open up and finally realize that he loves me after all. If y’all have any more tips, I’d love to hear them.
Hi, he dumped me for other girl did he ever come back? Is he missing me. Still he has feeling for me.how do i get him bavk?
Here’s my problem, I was begging, pleading, and trying to look pity for my ex-girlfriend just to make her stay. We had sex then goodbye. Then i saw your videos about No Contact Rules. Following your advice about no contact rules was hard as hell. My target is FULL 30 DAYS no contact but in my two weeks of battle. Suddenly she texted me, i try to ignore her, then she call me using other number so we talked since its likely rude to ignore her at all. She told me she wasn’t happy in her new bf. She felt sorry for me. She’s asking me if there was any chance to rebuild our relationship?Is she still welcome to my life? I told her i am awesome now, i currently dating to someone else the she get madly jealous. She doesn’t want me to date others.She really want to see me but ill be the one who refuse to see her. I told her i will only see you when you come back to me. She wanted me to stick around but u said to your videos not to get in friendzone.
My question sir is:
Do i stop the no contact rules since she already realized her mistake?
i can now feel the ball is on my court,but i jst dont know how to say how i want her back.
i luv this article! thx 4ur advices
iv used most of these tricks b4 & unlickily they workd..hope they work 4 u all as well
i just realizd iv been doing d wrong things uugh
i luv this stuff..haha kinda funny sneaky but real
give him space to miss you and realize (all on his own) that he wants to have you back. – definitely!!
negative emotions and feelings are working against you, and will wind up pushing him away, while positive emotions and feelings will work for you, and magnetically draw him back to you. – yup, got that right!
“First, it’s to get control of yourself and get some perspective on the relationship.” – this is a great point..hope all women try this instead of jumping into getting back into the relationship at once
never ever use pity 2 get him back
i want to KEEP him..ill read this article & try to follow thru
Women w/ genuinely good vibe are more attractive to guys than any woman with a bad vibe – way to inspire me, yay!
be urself & dont try too hard. wait 4 the right time, everything will fall into place
getting him back shouldnt b that difficult since being in a relationship w/ him 4 sumtime u should know what he likes&dislikes. its more of knowing if he would even want 2b wit u again..EVER.
i wna get him back & keep him for reals
i see my life w/ him, i so need these tips
oh i badly need this thx 2 my friend @carla 4 sending this link 2me
hope this works 4me & my situation
1st step is very important & crucial. u need 2 cut all forms of communication & give each other space
take ur time and reflect on what went wrong. from there, u gauge on whether u need to win him back or not. remember, u deserve only the best so dont settle for less.
just be yourself and be genuine, your ex must know the real you so there’s no need for any kind of showmanship
yeah, what if he finds sum1 new during the no contact period?? that will drive me crazyyy
giving him space & time alone allows him to miss u & eventually realize ur worth
Pity isn’t attractive. Neither is begging. Period.
yup, never give him tons and tons of attention..
i need more than 4 wks to be calm after a breakup, this is so hard
i always feel jealous when i know he starts seeing another woman then i begin 2 text him.. how could ever get out of this situation?! its crazy, ikr?
I recently met an awesome guy & finally convinced that i should b moving on from a breakup I just cant figure out how. but now i came across this article, im starting 2think twice. should i even try to get back w/ my ex? im torn! :(