Getting rejected sucks.
It feels horrible. It hurts deep down. It just plain sucks.
Everyone’s experienced it at least once. I know how awful rejection feels. That’s why I’m here – to help you get over it fast.
Maybe you got turned down by someone you really wanted to be with. Maybe you just went through an awful breakup. Maybe you’re still hurting from the last time you were turned down.
Maybe the ‘spark’ has gone out between you and the person you want and it hurts every day. Maybe you’re suffering from unrequited love. Maybe the person you love cheated on you.
Whatever the reason, getting rejected really, really hurts. You want to get over it, and you want to get over it fast.
Getting Over The Pain Of Rejection
If you’ve been hit with a really bad rejection, it’s normal to have a powerful reaction to it. Any of these reactions are normal after being rejected:
You might have felt unable to speak – like everything around you went shaky and your throat closed up around your words.
Maybe you even felt faint, or dizzy – like you couldn’t stand. Lots of people feel literally ‘stuck’ to one spot in the ground and unable to move.
On the other hand, lots of people feel like they want to run away as fast as they possibly can and get away from the situation. Your heart could have started pounding and feeling like it’s beating out of your chest.
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Whatever you felt – even if it was extreme – is a normal reaction to getting rejected. The worst part is, these feelings and effects can continue for days after being rejected.
Many people spend days feeling devastated. They can stop eating, feeling disinterested with food or even unable to eat. You could feel like anxiety was taking over parts of your life, or just feel ‘off’ – like you’re sick without being sick.
Even weeks later symptoms can persist. Even though the most intense symptoms might have passed you might still have days where you don’t feel good.
Anyone would want to be done with all that.
You’re tired of feeling like crap. You’re tired of feeling embarrassment, or disappointment, or discouragement, or sadness, or shame whenever you think about it.
You want to get over rejection fast. Here’s how to do it:
Exactly How To Get Over Rejection Fast
If you want to get over rejection fast, don’t worry – I’ve got the solution.
These 6 tricks will help you beat the pain of rejection and move on with your life as quickly as possible, so you don’t have to feel awful anymore.
1. Acknowledge Your Emotions
Suppressing your emotions will never help you deal with them – they always catch up to you. That’s the thing about emotions… if you deny them and try to pretend they’re not there it only makes them stronger.
They stay inside you, gaining power as you shove them down, waiting for the right moment to explode out of you.
The truth is that you will never get past negative emotions by refusing to deal with them. So that’s why the best course of action when it comes to rejection is to admit that getting rejected hurts.
Yes, it hurts!
Why do you think I started this article talking about how much rejection sucks? Rejection is embarrassing! It’s disappointing! It’s discouraging! And it makes you feel really awful for a really long time.
Trying to tell yourself that rejection is ‘no big deal’ when you’re actually hurting inside will make the recovery process take much longer and feel much worse.
The best path is to accept that you’re hurting, accept that you feel embarrassed, or disappointed, or sad, and just give yourself time to process and deal with your emotions.
If you want to help the healing process along, remind yourself that eventually, the pain of rejection will go away. There’s no embarrassment or disappointment that lasts forever – eventually you will start to feel better.
So when you’re feeling your worst, it helps to remind yourself that one day the pain will fade and you will feel better. In the meantime, remember that it’s ok to feel awful sometimes, and allowing yourself to feel and process the negative emotions is the best way to get through them.
2. Talk To A Good Friend
Another ingredient that’s super important when it comes to processing your emotions is perspective. And the tricky thing about perspective is, it can’t just come from inside you.
A lot of the time, embarrassment will stop someone from going to their friends after they get rejected. That’s a huge mistake – your friends are there to help you feel better and also to give you perspective on what really happened.
The reason why its’ so hard to get good perspective on something like getting rejected is because you’re so emotionally wrapped up in what happened to you. This is doubly true if you’re feeling awful about getting rejected – your emotions will prevent you from having a clear perspective about it.
That’s why talking to friends is so important. Not only will they be able to give you much needed emotional support – they’ll also help you see what actually went wrong and what’s not your fault.
After getting rejected, it’s super easy to think that everything was your fault, and that you did everything wrong and you’ll never find happiness and on and on and on. The (happy) truth is, it’s not always about you (as you’ll see in the next section).
3. Don’t Make It Personal
One of the easiest mistakes to make after being rejected is to assume that the rejection was 100% about you.
The thinking goes, you were rejected because you’re not good looking enough, or not smart enough, or not funny enough, or not The person who rejected you doesn’t know who you truly are because you two never dated and got close enough to show each other.
Getting rejected is much more often about where the other person is at mentally and what’s going on in their life. Sometimes, people really don’t want to be in a relationship or date someone new – regardless of who it is.
That’s why it’s vital to remember to not make it personal – it’s so easy to assume a rejection is all about the qualities you lack rather than the actual reasons in that person’s situation.
This is why talking to friends and getting their perspective is so important. They will be able to see the whole situation without emotional attachment, and be able to see when you’re making it personal and being too hard on yourself.
There’s one other thing to remember here: getting rejected means you’re pushing your limits and getting out of your comfort zone.
That’s a good thing. When you stay in your comfort zone you’ll wind up stagnating and getting bored. It’s much better to push the boundaries of where you feel comfortable, even if it leads to getting rejected once in a while. It makes you grow as a person.
You can’t ever be sure that you’re pushing your limits if you don’t fail now and again – so celebrate the fact that you’re getting out of your comfort zone and growing on a personal level, even if this time getting rejected stung a little bit.
The most important thing to remember about not making rejection personal is this: don’t let rejection define you.
You’re not unattractive because one guy turned you down. It’s not personal – it’s just one guy and one situation. You are more than getting rejected – and the more you help yourself remember that the faster you can get over rejection and move on with your life.
4. Accept Rejection Sooner Rather Than Later
Chasing after someone who rejected you is a losing proposition 99% of the time. That’s just a fact.
And I know how easy it is to fall into that trap. It’s human nature to want something even more after it’s been denied to you – to want what you can’t have.
But if you let that desire control your actions moving forward then you’re going to wind up feeling worse and worse… not better.
If you truly want to get over rejection and move on, you need to accept that the person who rejected you really doesn’t want to be with you and let go.
Otherwise, you wind up pouring your effort down a black hole, never truly moving on from the rejection, and digging a deeper hole for yourself every day until you don’t know how to climb back out.
Instead, cut your losses and work on moving on if you want to feel better faster (not to mention find someone new and exciting again.)
5. Treat Yourself With Compassion
This is one of the most important steps to remember when getting over rejection – and one of the easiest to forget. Why is it so easy to forget to treat yourself with compassion and sympathy?
When we talk to ourselves in the privacy of our own minds, it’s easy to get on a ‘train of thought’ so to speak that runs almost unconsciously. Then, when you’re not ‘watching what you’re thinking’ – you can be saying some pretty nasty things to yourself.
The best way to illustrate how that happens is to take a moment when you’re feeling really bad and down on yourself and ‘pause’ mentally. Stop yourself in your head for a second and ask, “What am I really saying to myself?”
Ask yourself, “Do I really deserve how mean I’m being to myself? Are the things I’m saying about myself really true?”
When you take a second to look at what you’re really saying to yourself in the privacy of your own mind, it can be an enlightening experience. You can realize that a lot of the things you’ve been repeating unconsciously to yourself really do hurt – and you only notice how badly they’re hurting you when you consciously recognize them.
So if you’re talking to yourself in a really negative way, know that that kind of self-talk is affecting your mood, it’s affecting how you relate to other people, and it’s affecting how you see yourself and how you think about yourself.
Don’t talk down to yourself when rejection happens – decide that you’re not going to stand for negative self-talk. And I know, that’s easier said than done. Like I said before, a lot of self-talk is habituation to the point of it going on unconsciously in your mind.
But if you really try to make an effort to stop yourself whenever you catch your mind getting down on itself, it makes a huge difference.
Treating yourself like a friend instead of an enemy is the difference between getting over rejection and negativity quickly and allowing it to take root instead and turn ugly, or maybe even worsen into depression.
If you can make the effort to treat yourself like a friend, it will be an immense help to feeling better and bouncing back from rejection way more quickly than you would otherwise.
6. Do Something Else To Take Your Mind Off Being Rejected
This is a crucial step towards feeling better after rejection. The truth is, wallowing in misery isn’t going to help you get over being rejected, any more than laying on the couch helps you lose weight.
All wallowing in misery does is make you feel worse and worse. Think about it this way: you were already rejected once – why relive it over and over in worse and worse ways in your mind? Letting yourself wallow in the negativity is only going to make you feel worse – and make it harder to bounce back.
One of the best ways to keep your mental health up after being rejected is to do the things that you like doing – and throw yourself into them wholeheartedly. When you pursue something you enjoy, like a hobby or a project, it takes your brain away from being rejected and focuses it on having fun and improving instead.
That helps you get out of the miserable post-rejection swamp much faster than if you tried to slog it out on your own (or worse, wallowed in misery in the swamp alone).
The best things to do that take your mind off rejection are physical activities – getting up, around, and outside are some of the best ways to get your mind focused on something other than feeling bad. Getting active helps you feel better, and that’s a fact.
So do the things you’ve always enjoyed doing, and consider getting active and exercising as well. Not only will getting outside and getting active help you feel better physically, it will help you feel better mentally (because of all the dopamine and endorphins released from exercising).
So that’s it – those are the 6 best steps to getting over rejection.
At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that the pain of rejection won’t last forever, and that one day you will absolutely, definitely, 100% feel better.
Another great way to process the emotional pain of rejection is to talk about it with others, and share how you’re feeling – even if it’s to just open up to other people and admit that you’re hurting.
If you’re feeling up to it, leave a comment below with your story – writing it out and sharing it can help you get over it faster. Good luck.
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