Part of being in a great relationship is having affection. Having the type of affection that you want with someone, involves knowing what your partner wants, needs, likes, and dislikes. And the best way of knowing all of these important things, is to get to know one another on a deeper level. This takes time, patience, a little effort, and the following 4 things.
1. Develop Open Communication
Be comfortable communicating your feelings to your partner about what you like, and what you don’t like. You should even feel comfortable about opening up and sharing all of those secret, hidden desires, fetishes, and things that you’d like to try, but perhaps haven’t tried—yet. You should never feel uncomfortable when it comes to expressing yourself to your partner, because open communication is imperative inside and outside of the bedroom.
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2. Be Direct
No one should ever have to read between the lines to understand what you want. The last thing that anyone should expect in a relationship is for their partner to read their mind, because they might start assuming that they know what you want or what you like or don’t like even, and they could be entirely wrong about all of the above. Make sure that you’re direct in your approach. But remember, there’s a way to be direct, kind, and sweet all at the same time.
3. Take The Lead
In this day and age, many times women are the ones who initiate the first move, whether by texting first, or initiating the first phone call or conversation, or even initiating a first date. But when it comes to intimacy and affection and getting what you want, if you see that a man is either the shy type or isn’t being aggressive enough, taking the lead, and making that first move towards doing what you want, you might need to start initiating.
Despite the fact that I’d recommend being direct and having open communication as they listed in number one and two above, sometimes a subtle approach of taking the lead physically, but in a delicate but direct manner will work. In other words, instead of telling him what you want, show him what you want and direct him. You’d be surprised at just how much a man might desire to have a woman take the lead at times, and especially when it comes to letting him know what she wants in regards to affection and intimacy.
Many times, it takes the pressure off of a man, and he’ll feel less obligated of having to assume that he needs to know exactly what to do when it comes to meeting your needs. And by a woman doing this and taking the initiative, it doesn’t necessarily make her the aggressor, a woman in charge, or that she should even be considered as a woman who is too aggressive. A woman can be shy, demure, and even very feminine, yet still confident by showing her man what she wants, even if it’s something simple like resting her head on his shoulder, or gently touching his hand, just to give him the message that she’s desiring some affection.
4. Seduce Him
As you know, and as in most of my articles you’ll see, there’s usually a “last but not least” method of getting what you want, and in this case, it’s by seducing your man. Now by seducing your man, I’m not saying to manipulate him or trick him in any way. Heaven’s forbid! But what I am saying, is to do little gestures to give him the hint, a clue, or the message of what you’re desiring when it comes to intimacy and affection.
Whisper in his ear, and remember the tone of your voice does wonders, so be sweet, soft-spoken, but sexy with what you say. You can make almost anything sound sexy when it’s being spoken in a whisper and soft spoken manner. As well, you can do things and like gently touch the side of his face or caress his forearm gently with your fingertips or nails in a loving and sweet manner.
There are many ways that you can seduce a man, but what’s most important is to know your man, because every person is an individual and should be treated like one, so make sure that you know your man well enough and on a deep enough level that you’ll know how to provoke him, how to charm him, flirt with him, and yes, exactly how to seduce him. When you’re able to seduce your man in a loving, sweet, and sensual way, he’ll likely get the hint of the type of affection that you need, especially if you whisper it directly to him.
Anne Cohen
Blog: AnneCohenWrites.com
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Twitter: Anni_Cohen
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be honest. he will appreciate it more than the rejection you fear.
don’t be afraid to speak your mind and be honest with how you truly feel. this will make hi understand you better than expecting him to guess all the time.
i would have to agree with you. every relationship needs an open communication and this can only happen if you two are mature and grown up enough. be open and direct when you need to as long as it is for your good and his too.
always try to be direct especially in expressing how you feel. if you can’t do that, it means you’re not really comfortable with your partner.
talk to him about it and how you want it addressed.
this is a great writing. women do sometimes need to be reminded of their needs to be prioritized also.
this is true, women shouldn’t be ashamed of telling what we want and what we need.
flirt and seduce him to get what you want. LOL
Heheheheheh I kept scanning for a man’s perspective about this article but alas..none. Until now! We men (we men that are secure in our manliness) loves loves loves it when the women take the lead. And in anyway which she feels good about whether it’s being aggressive or very teasingly demure. We absolutely love having the pressure removed and it’s because, being men, we want “it” 24/7 BUT we will also put the woman’s feelings first. When she takes the lead…all things possible. WOOHOO! [my 2 cents; keep the change] “: )
it is very important to develop open communication from the beginning of the relationship
be direct and take the lead if you really want this issue resolved.
this is so true, you don’t have to hide what you’re feeling. be direct and just tell him straight.
if all else fail, seduce him! haha use your powers over your men!
talk to him, be honest and be true to your feelings. i’m sure it’s no big deal if you tell him.
thank you for this post. i will try to compose myself and try this.
once you have an ipen communication, you can tell him straight and just be direct
seduce him, it will even be fun!
open communication is very important in any relationship. if you practice this, you won’t have any trouble communicating your needs to your partner.
take the lead if you must, there’s nothing wrong with it.
seduce him! best way possible!
be direct and open ..there’s nothing wrong with saying what you want/feel
you need to let him know from the start how you like things done and how you feel about certain things and how you want to be treated.
if you can’t get it, try seducing him. haha
you can always take the lead. he’ll surely get it and soon he’ll be doing it..
i talk to my boyfriend a lot. i tell him how i feel, what i want and how i want things to go. if you want affection in a particular way, tell your partner. openness is very important in your relationship.
be direct. this is a must in every relationship. men do not need anything else but what you truly want.
maybe you don’t even have to seduce him. just be honest and open about it.
sometimes it’s best that you take the lead especially when you feel like your partner isn’t doing so well
Affection can be gotten from a pet too. Rather simplistic I know
I don’t know about this advice.Let me play the devil’s advocate a little bit and say:-if we need zillions of advice on how to hook and keep a man, we must be perpetual children needing to be schooled. Whatever happened to mystery and nuance?knowing a lovers every detail makes it boring predictable. Depends what you want. A partner next to you ,in a rocking chair growing old together( that’s ok) or the unpredictable.?