So what is it that men actually want to hear?
I’m going to answer this trying to cover broad basics that apply mostly across the board to almost all men so that you can gain a deeper understanding into the male mind and really understand what it is that men want to hear.
Men might seem all stoic on the outside and like they don’t need compliments, but this couldn’t be farther from the truth!
Men want to hear a compliment once in awhile, too! What kind of compliments? Well, any kind.
There is only one rule: it has to be genuine.
You cannot make it up and pretend to like something just because you think giving a compliment is going to make him like you better.
What kind of compliments can you give?
- How good he is at something
- His looks/physical appearance/attractiveness (so for example, you smell good, you look so hot right now, the way you smile is so sexy, you’re so strong, the list goes on but you know what I am talking about)
- Something that means he is a good person
- Anything about him that you notice that makes him unique
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Men want to be appreciated for who they are and what they are good at. Men also want to be appreciated if they do something nice for you that or if they did something they knew you liked…
Men want to be noticed and appreciated just like women do. Appreciation has to be genuine and can manifest itself in many different ways.
Cooking his favorite meal after a hard day at work is an example or taking time to put in effort into your appearance one day and wearing something you know he likes. Or just being kind and warm in a way that makes him feel good and happy.
Men want to hear honesty. This is a core truth about men; be honest with him and don’t try to be someone you’re not or portray yourself as someone you’re not.
Being able to be truthful is such an important (and increasingly rare) quality in any person.
4. That They Are Accepted for Who They Are
Do not make a man feel like he has to change himself for you, which is what many women often do when they talk to a man. Even if it’s in your mind, don’t think he can’t feel it.
If you meet a man and your thinking is, “well, I don’t like the way he is right now but he has potential. If only he can change …” insert some quality you want him to change… this is setting the tone for your conversation and entire dynamic.
So the key is to accept a man for who he is and don’t try to change him. Either you like him for who and what he is or you don’t; either way, trying to “fix” him is going to backfire and make him feel like you’re looking down on him and don’t want him to be happy.
5. That Everything is ok
Men do not want to deal with drama; any kind of drama. Men are very single focused in terms of wanting to get something done and having a liner path to achieving a goal.
Men do not like to deal with drama at all (at least 99% of men don’t, there are exceptions of men who do like drama but that’s an entirely different story.) For the largest amount of men, drama is a signal to run away.
The last thing a man wants to hear is fighting words. Or something very dramatic and intense. Especially if it’s out of nowhere and he’s unaware of what the drama is even about let alone why it’s significant or relevant to you.
6. Affection Out of the Blue
If a man comes up to you and says he loves you or says something nice and sweet, how does it feel?
Well, men like this sort of thing too. If you are nice and sweet out of the blue and do something nice, something sweet and random, it’ll put a smile on his face.
7. Men Don’t Want to Hear “Conditions”
This is something men are definitely not fond of. By conditions I mean… “if you do this thing that you really want to do, I will be angry at you.”
Sometimes the message is implied and the woman doesn’t say it outright; the sentiment is the same, though.
The point is that being angry and placing conditions on what a man can and cannot do if he wants to avoid making you angry is definitely not something men like to deal with.
Men like to be around a woman who does not impose arbitrary restrictions on their life. No man wants to feel like he has no freedom. The irony is most men end up more likely to commit and want to be exclusive when a woman is truly able to give him his freedom.
Then, all of a sudden, he will be the one who wants commitment and brings it up rather than you having to (assuming commitment is even what you want!)
8. In the Bedroom
What do men want to hear in the bedroom? Most men want women to be vocal in the bedroom, to tell them what feels good and guide them to giving her the big “O”.
It’s a huge turn on to most men when a woman is vocal about the fact that she’s turned on and feels pleasure. What men don’t like is when a woman fakes anything or acts over the top intentionally.
If a woman acts over the top on purpose thinking it’ll be the key to turning him on this won’t be effective it’ll only make him feel uncomfortable and like he can’t actually pleasure you.
But what men do like is when a woman is open and able to let go and say what it is that truly turns him on. Guiding him to give you pleasure will make him extremely excited and eager to please you.
9. That You’re Proud of Him
Men love to feel like someone is proud of them and means it: especially if he’s accomplished something that might not be the equivalent of winning a gold medal but it’s something you know is important to him and you genuinely feel proud of him for achieving whatever it is he has achieved and what he’s doing in his life.
10. Men Want Authenticity
Men want to hear something real and authentic not a recycled narrative a woman thinks a man wants to hear.
For example, some women pretend to have certain interests that they don’t actually have to impress a man thinking it’ll win him over but in reality he just views you as any other woman (since most women do this).
On the other hand, if you are authentic and your true self around him, it’ll make him feel intrigued and refreshed by you. You will literally be like a glass of cold water on a scorching hot day.
11. Men Want Respect
I’m not saying this in a rude way or implying that women have to be subservient and respect men. I don’t mean “respect” as in giving into everything he wants and being subservient to his needs and abandoning your own.
All I mean by respect is you are not insulting and don’t undermine his masculinity. Men want to feel like winners in the world and if you make a man feel like a winner, are his cheerleader and in his corner, he will want to be around you more and feel good around you.
If you inspire him and are encouraging (not in a patronizing way but in a genuine way that shows that you feel strongly about his capabilities and that you believe in him) he will want you to be in his life. So be in his corner, like what he’s about and he will be extremely happy.
One thing to note is no matter what you assume about men, don’t always assume that he is confident and sure of himself.
Generally the men who seem to be the most secure are actually the least secure. Keep this in mind when you are dealing with men in general and thinking about what it is they want to hear and don’t want to hear.
At the end of the day, we are all human beings. And every man is different and will have individual preferences and ideas. The core is similar, though, and once you know this stuff it’ll make your life dealing with men much easier.
Want to find out if the man you want really likes you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You?” Quiz right now and find out if he likes you…
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What Men Want To Hear
- That they are accepted for who they are
- That everything is ok
- Affection out of the blue
- Men don’t want to hear “conditions”
- In the bedroom
- That you’re proud of him
- Men want authenticity
- Men want respect