So what is it that men actually want to hear?
I’m going to answer this trying to cover broad basics that apply mostly across the board to almost all men so that you can gain a deeper understanding into the male mind and really understand what it is that men want to hear.
1. Compliments
Men might seem all stoic on the outside and like they don’t need compliments, but this couldn’t be farther from the truth!
more: Exactly How To Charm The Man You Want
Men want to hear a compliment once in awhile, too! What kind of compliments? Well, any kind.
There is only one rule: it has to be genuine.
You cannot make it up and pretend to like something just because you think giving a compliment is going to make him like you better.
What kind of compliments can you give?
- How good he is at something
- His looks/physical appearance/attractiveness (so for example, you smell good, you look so hot right now, the way you smile is so sexy, you’re so strong, the list goes on but you know what I am talking about)
- Something that means he is a good person
- Anything about him that you notice that makes him unique
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2. Appreciation
Men want to be appreciated for who they are and what they are good at. Men also want to be appreciated if they do something nice for you that or if they did something they knew you liked…
Men want to be noticed and appreciated just like women do. Appreciation has to be genuine and can manifest itself in many different ways.
Cooking his favorite meal after a hard day at work is an example or taking time to put in effort into your appearance one day and wearing something you know he likes. Or just being kind and warm in a way that makes him feel good and happy.
more: Scientifically Proven Ways To Make Him Fall For You
3. Honesty
Men want to hear honesty. This is a core truth about men; be honest with him and don’t try to be someone you’re not or portray yourself as someone you’re not.
Being able to be truthful is such an important (and increasingly rare) quality in any person.
4. That They Are Accepted for Who They Are
Do not make a man feel like he has to change himself for you, which is what many women often do when they talk to a man. Even if it’s in your mind, don’t think he can’t feel it.
If you meet a man and your thinking is, “well, I don’t like the way he is right now but he has potential. If only he can change …” insert some quality you want him to change… this is setting the tone for your conversation and entire dynamic.
So the key is to accept a man for who he is and don’t try to change him. Either you like him for who and what he is or you don’t; either way, trying to “fix” him is going to backfire and make him feel like you’re looking down on him and don’t want him to be happy.
more: Drop Dead Giveaway Signs A Guy Likes You
5. That Everything is ok
Men do not want to deal with drama; any kind of drama. Men are very single focused in terms of wanting to get something done and having a liner path to achieving a goal.
Men do not like to deal with drama at all (at least 99% of men don’t, there are exceptions of men who do like drama but that’s an entirely different story.) For the largest amount of men, drama is a signal to run away.
The last thing a man wants to hear is fighting words. Or something very dramatic and intense. Especially if it’s out of nowhere and he’s unaware of what the drama is even about let alone why it’s significant or relevant to you.
6. Affection Out of the Blue
If a man comes up to you and says he loves you or says something nice and sweet, how does it feel?
Well, men like this sort of thing too. If you are nice and sweet out of the blue and do something nice, something sweet and random, it’ll put a smile on his face.
more: 5 Things Guys Love To Hear
7. Men Don’t Want to Hear “Conditions”
This is something men are definitely not fond of. By conditions I mean… “if you do this thing that you really want to do, I will be angry at you.”
Sometimes the message is implied and the woman doesn’t say it outright; the sentiment is the same, though.
The point is that being angry and placing conditions on what a man can and cannot do if he wants to avoid making you angry is definitely not something men like to deal with.
Men like to be around a woman who does not impose arbitrary restrictions on their life. No man wants to feel like he has no freedom. The irony is most men end up more likely to commit and want to be exclusive when a woman is truly able to give him his freedom.
Then, all of a sudden, he will be the one who wants commitment and brings it up rather than you having to (assuming commitment is even what you want!)
8. In the Bedroom
What do men want to hear in the bedroom? Most men want women to be vocal in the bedroom, to tell them what feels good and guide them to giving her the big “O”.
It’s a huge turn on to most men when a woman is vocal about the fact that she’s turned on and feels pleasure. What men don’t like is when a woman fakes anything or acts over the top intentionally.
more: 10 Things Men Want To Hear In Bed
If a woman acts over the top on purpose thinking it’ll be the key to turning him on this won’t be effective it’ll only make him feel uncomfortable and like he can’t actually pleasure you.
But what men do like is when a woman is open and able to let go and say what it is that truly turns him on. Guiding him to give you pleasure will make him extremely excited and eager to please you.
9. That You’re Proud of Him
Men love to feel like someone is proud of them and means it: especially if he’s accomplished something that might not be the equivalent of winning a gold medal but it’s something you know is important to him and you genuinely feel proud of him for achieving whatever it is he has achieved and what he’s doing in his life.
10. Men Want Authenticity
Men want to hear something real and authentic not a recycled narrative a woman thinks a man wants to hear.
For example, some women pretend to have certain interests that they don’t actually have to impress a man thinking it’ll win him over but in reality he just views you as any other woman (since most women do this).
On the other hand, if you are authentic and your true self around him, it’ll make him feel intrigued and refreshed by you. You will literally be like a glass of cold water on a scorching hot day.
more: The 3 Words He’s Dying To Hear
11. Men Want Respect
I’m not saying this in a rude way or implying that women have to be subservient and respect men. I don’t mean “respect” as in giving into everything he wants and being subservient to his needs and abandoning your own.
All I mean by respect is you are not insulting and don’t undermine his masculinity. Men want to feel like winners in the world and if you make a man feel like a winner, are his cheerleader and in his corner, he will want to be around you more and feel good around you.
If you inspire him and are encouraging (not in a patronizing way but in a genuine way that shows that you feel strongly about his capabilities and that you believe in him) he will want you to be in his life. So be in his corner, like what he’s about and he will be extremely happy.
One thing to note is no matter what you assume about men, don’t always assume that he is confident and sure of himself.
Generally the men who seem to be the most secure are actually the least secure. Keep this in mind when you are dealing with men in general and thinking about what it is they want to hear and don’t want to hear.
At the end of the day, we are all human beings. And every man is different and will have individual preferences and ideas. The core is similar, though, and once you know this stuff it’ll make your life dealing with men much easier.
Want to find out if the man you want really likes you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You?” Quiz right now and find out if he likes you…
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In summary…
What Men Want To Hear
- Compliments
- Appreciation
- Honesty
- That they are accepted for who they are
- That everything is ok
- Affection out of the blue
- Men don’t want to hear “conditions”
- In the bedroom
- That you’re proud of him
- Men want authenticity
- Men want respect
Related posts:
The Real Reasons Men Don’t Text Back: The Ultimate “Do’s and Don’ts” Guide To Texting
Exactly What Men Really Need From a Woman
Avoid These 8 Huge Mistakes Women Make That Push Men Away
The Exact 8 Things Every Man Really Wants In A Woman
How To Keep A Man Interested For Good
When Does A Man Miss A Woman? How To Make A Man Miss You (In 3 Steps)
Please if a boy should ask a girl what the girl loves about him then she mentioned love, attention and integrity.
He then said there is one thing she has not said.. what is that word???
This is not limited to one gender or another.
All humans with a healthy psyche, want and need to hear these things.
Sigh. I love to offer these things to him. But he’s always, or often, is unavailable, or mia. How can I shower him with my love, when he can’t make time for me? I can’t understand why he says he loves me, etc, when he can’t even text or msg every once in a while. I know he is truly busy, but if he doesn’t have time to hit a few buttons, I’m clearly not a priority, even if he says that s not true.
since most men are career-oriented and goal-driven, they need the security of knowing and hearing the words, “everything’s ok” from their woman.
appreciation is very important to men. my man admitted that when i’m vocal about how i appreciate him and the little things he do for me, he really feels important.
these are all so true. i mean, some we don’t even realize until we actually open our minds
really thankful that i’ve discovered your website. these tips and advice just keep coming and i love them all! THANK YOU!!
women need to understand that most men need compliments and encouragement all the time. with all their dedication for their career, they need to be reminded that they’s doing great.
men need compliments, this is actually something very important for them to hear from their partners
men need authenticity and honesty esp in their relationships so just be yourself, be open and honest w/ how you feel about him all the time.
indeed, men want authenticity. they want the truth in everything especially in how they do in life, career, sports and all other priorities. and so it is important to tell him the truth for him to be better
men want to know that you’re proud of them and so you better be vocal about this from time to time.
men need affirmation and the assurance they’re doing OK. so from time to time, try to let him know how great he’s doing and he’ll feel really appreciated.
all of us need some kind of appreciation every now and then. and although men aren’t very needy as women are, appreciation is one of the most important things they need to hear especially from their partners.
men give all their best in everything they do esp in their careers so it is very important they they are appreciated. knowing they are valued give them the confidence boost
i have read i a book that one of the greatest needs of men is words that affirm them. compliments and appreciation will absolutely win his heart
compliments and honesty at the same time are what men need to hear from their woman. their confidence gets really built up when they’re being complimented genuinely.
men do not need any BS, they want honesty and by telling the truth they give you their trust
men need to know and especially to hear that you are proud of him. this is how men feel appreciated and loved
everyone needs honesty but this is more important to men who long for serious relationships
men need to hear words of encouragement especially from his woman to assure him he’s appreciated
as much as we like them, men also do. we mostly need the same basic things in a relationship so remember to give & take
men definitely do not want to hear “Conditions”! this just pisses them off.
as much as we love to be complimented with the way we look, etc…
men also need these kind praises especially with their careers and maybe sports..anything that they love most.
it is true that men want to know everything’s ok and that you tell him that. they need security as much as we do
men need respect and the security that you can be trusted
men need to know we appreciate them and so we should always encourage and affirm them.
the men in our lives want to know and hear from time to time that we are proud of them and that we appreciate their hard work for us. i think they deserve this.
appreciation and respect are the key to a man’s security in a relationship
What if she never said something unpredictable, if i said that i love her she says she love too if i miss her she replies with the same i miss you , she add too ! Once i was down and bit sad i wanted to go to sleep i asked her , honey i would love to hear something nice from you (emotional) , she’s jealous so i said i love to read or hear that when i wake up ! I woke up and i had to wait till the afternoon that she said sorry she was busy ! And every time i ask her if she’s not comfortable with me or not feeling anything for me we can split she always says noo !
i think we all could use some of these, men or women. really nice reminder.
definitely right! my man told me how important my opinions and positive compliments are to him. he says these boost his morale and help him make good decisions.
i like these, im pretty sure women would want to hear these things too..great tips! :)