… (Previous page – Find Dating Success: Avoid The ‘Identity Trap’ And Be Yourself) relationship. People fear that if they speak up and say exactly who we are, exactly what we care about, exactly what we want from life, that it’s going to scare the right person off.
In fact, the opposite is true. If the person you want is scared off by who you really are, then they’re not the right person for you in the first place. The true right person for you will be attracted to who you really are, not repelled by it.
Remember to be true to yourself through every step of dating. Your online dating profile should reflect who you really are, as well as how you act on all the dates you go on.
If you try to like something because someone else does, eventually the truth will come out and one or both of you will wind up disappointed with how things turn out.
Some might try to argue that if you act like your true self and don’t try to pretend in order to get dates, you’re going to go on less dates and therefore have less of a chance of finding the right person for you.
There’s a major flaw in this logic. That line of argument believes that more dates = a better chance of finding the right person.
Here’s how to get over any breakup.
But if you’re going on more dates with people that are incompatible with you, then your chances of finding the right person don’t go up, they go down!
In contrast, if you’re true to yourself when you’re looking for a potential mate, you might go on less dates – but they’ll be with people that you’re far more compatible with. It’s about quality, not quantity.
And that’s what finding happiness in the dating world is all about.
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Nice article!
I just stopped seeing a girl after our fourth date, because I felt I was lying to myself. One side was giving her the attention while the other side was uncomfortable with her seeing other men and then I realized this particular woman isn’t for me, so I told her person to person, because I don’t belive in ghosting. So, I did it, and she mentioned that she didn’t expect that from me, either way, I walked out for the best and if she still wants a piece she’ll come back, but in the meantime, I’m still searching for that amazing woman to enjoy sunsets with after a wild night.
societal expectations bring the worst out in people. Everyone has set standards for others that not even they live up to. I think a lot of people fall into this trap because of that
I tend to try out a few different “styles” of myself to see which one the guy bites on. That way I am still being myself, just in a different way :)
Be yourself. Check. I have a date coming up this weekend and really do not want to mess it up.
You really have to “learn” how to date well. There is a certain level of experience that comes along with it. Good luck!
Most relationship counselors will tell you that being yourself is the best thing that you can do. It keeps you honest and your partner honest as well. There is little room in anyone’s life for a fake person.
There are many relationship doctors that will tell you to be true to yourself and that starts right away. Just be yourself and do not try to be someone that you are not just because you THINK your partner is interested more in that person.
Women need to be sure that they can be themselves around other people for THEM. Being yourself is not about the other person, it is about being true to yourself.
Very good tips. There are so many woman that are not sure who they really are and that is where it becomes difficult for them to adjust in a relationship. They try so hard to be what they THINK the partner wants and not enough time being themselves.
I am a perfect example of being yourself and having success while dating. The guys that I cannot be myself around are gone quickly. I cannot be fake, it does not help me and it is not fair to the person you are meeting with.
It is not easy being yourself, we all know that. When you first meet a person, it might be your best bet however.
I agree. In society today, people are tossed around so much it is hard for them to keep up with what is real and who they are.
I have seen so many woman try to be the way their friends want them to be. You might be similar to your friends, but there is no way that you need to be exactly the same. Take a step back and try to see what being like YOU really is.
Women fought for many rights back in the day and that is even more of a reason to be yourself. There is nobody in your life that should be forcing you to act like or be like anyone else.
If you are going to be a successful dater, then you need to be true to yourself AND the other person. Being yourself is just part of that as a whole.
There are very few reasons that you should not be yourself. Especially when it comes to dating, being yourself is important since the odds are good that you will expect the other person to be themselves as well.
If you cannot be yourself all of the time, who are you trying to be?
I am not sure what the big deal is. Why can’t people figure out who they are?
Being yourself might be something that is not easy for some. On the other hand, when you know you are being yourself, there is a certain level of stress that is not there and that is the best part.
I see this so often working as a teacher. The young ladies are trying hard to find themselves and once they do, you have to wonder if it is really them.
I always try to be myself. I know people that are not themselves and it seems that they drive themselves crazy trying to pretend to be someone they are not.
I have been done this road before. A few years ago, I always felt that I was not good enough for my b/f. So I played a different role, but that was so exhausting and eventually I realized it was not worth it. What do you think?
I always felt that I was myself during the dating scene. I usually bumped into men that were different from the ones that I thought I met very quickly and that is discouraging.
It can be hard to be yourself sometimes. I agree that you need to do so and it is a better thing for your relationship.