Want to know the thing that all happy couples have in common?
No, it’s not piles of cash. It’s not a gold plated house. It’s not the matching sex drives of two energizer bunnies.
It’s that they know they have to work at their relationship.
It’s the spirit that says, “Every day, I’m going to come to this relationship fresh and maintain the love and connection that’s here.”
And it takes both partners to do it.
So with that said, here are 10 ways that happy, successful couples maintain the love and commitment in their relationships:
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1. Always Hug Hello and Goodbye
Body contact is a super important aspect of every relationship. For pure physical communication, it’s hard to top.
That’s why the most successful couples always have a positive and loving physical interaction when they see each other and when they leave each other.
Hug your s/o before you go to work and after you get home. It means a lot in the grand scheme of the relationship, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.
2. Focus on Trust
This is all about attitude. Couples that fall apart usually adopt an attitude of suspicion. They approach everything their partner says from the viewpoint, “They’re probably lying to me, how can I figure out the truth?”
Successful couples always look at things from a viewpoint of, “What are they trying to say to me, how can I better understand them?” They trust each other rather than distrust, and they forgive rather than hold grudges.
3. Have the Same Bedtime
Falling asleep next to someone is one of the most intimate things we can do with another person. It inspires intimacy, love, and connection, and brings two people even closer together.
Plus, it gives a huge boost to your sex life. So there’s that, which is nice.
4. Give Encouragement Rather than Discouragement
This one comes down to attitude again. If you’ve got the attitude where you’re looking for things your partner has done wrong, you’re going to find them. And it’s not going to be pretty.
Let’s face it – if you’re in the mood to nitpick, you’re going to nitpick.
But the opposite holds true too. If you’re looking for things they’ve done right, you’re going to find those too! And that kind of encouragement and positive validation goes a long way towards keeping the respect, love, and affection alive in any relationship.
More: My Secret Recipe For Love That Lasts Forever
5. Check In with Each Other
One “Hey, how’s your day going?” call is enough to make a partner smile for the rest of the workday. They know you care, they know you’re offering support, and it’s appreciated.
Plus, you can find out if they’re having a terrible day at work – which is a great opportunity to surprise them with a present or special gesture the next time you see them.
6. Don’t Skimp on Saying “I Love You”
This is a key one. A super important pillar in happy successful relationships is when both partners feel wanted, understood, and loved.
Reminding your partner that you love them (and being reminded that they love you) is a great way to feel like you can deal with whatever challenges life throws at you.
7. Love Going Out with Your Partner
It’s easy for a relationship to deteriorate into “what’s comfortable.” The question turns from “What are we doing tonight?” to “What are we watching on TV tonight?”
And while being comfortable with each other is good, it’s definitely not ideal for the health of a relationship. In order for things to feel fresh, you have to keep things fresh. And a great way to do that is to spend time with each other outside the house, in new and exciting situations.
8. Find Things You’re Both Interested In and Can Enjoy Together
After the initial burst of passion and desire in a relationship, there’s a cooling down period. And in that period, the young couple often finds out that, “Holy crap, we have nothing in common.”
But they’re still attracted to each other! They want to keep the good vibes going!
That’s why the best way to do that is to focus on things that you both enjoy doing, and failing that, exploring things that you think you might enjoy doing with each other.
That way, you can create and cultivate common interests while spending time with each other and making your relationship stronger.
9. Walk Holding Hands with Each Other
Positive, affectionate body contact is super important in a relationship. Strong couples know this, consciously or unconsciously, and look for ways to touch each other in any situation.
Or, more specifically – when you’re walking somewhere together. Holding hands is a great way of remaining present with another person, and it means that you’re walking somewhere together, rather than walking somewhere by yourself looking at your phone while your partner also walks to that place.
10. Always Say Goodnight to Each Other Even If You’re Mad
There’s an old adage: “Never go to bed angry.” While it might not be possible every night (I know that I’ve gone to bed angry on a few occasions), it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to be reasonable and loving with the person we’re with.
Even if you’re still mad at them, you’re in a relationship. You like each other. You’re not ready to give up. By telling them goodnight and letting them know you still care about them (even though you’re super mad), you’re doing more good to your relationship than you could possibly know.
These habits of successful couples are just that – habits. They’re things that many happy couples do instinctively, without even thinking about it.
More: 7 Key Signs You’re In The “Right” Relationship
However, even if they’re not habits for you, that doesn’t mean they can’t be. All you have to do is make an effort to turn one or two of these into a habit by doing it over and over.
Inevitably, it becomes a habit, and you both do it without even thinking about it at all.
And your relationship gets better and better.
Of course, the most successful couples have these habits – but they also are very compatible with each other. If you start off compatible with someone else, then you’re much more likely to develop these habits of happy couples.
Want to find out how compatible you are with him? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Are You Compatible” Quiz right now and find out whether you’re *really* compatible with him…
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The Best Habits Of Happy Couples
- Always hug hello and goodbye
- Focus on trust
- Have the same bedtime
- Give encouragement rather than discouragement
- Check in with each other
- Don’t skimp on saying “I love you”
- Love going out with your partner
- Find things you’re both interested in and can enjoy together
- Walk holding hands with each other
- Always say goodnight to each other even if you’re mad
They are the happy couples those who quarrel some times
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Happy couples are doing something right. Pay attention them or ask them for advice if you find that you are not as happy as you should be.
I love these arlestic. How many words can a wordsmith smith?
10 is probably the best piece of advice on this whole list! In the end, couples need to work hard and please each other in order to be happy.
Unexpected? :) As I read through these habits, I am thinking that if I notice them in a couple, the BETTER be happy LOL. Great post!
Understanding your spouse is certainly a good tip! It will come down to whether or not you can live together in peace and some of that is understanding, trust and honesty.
I think that going to bed and waking up together is one of the best things about being in a relationship. This list is great and really shows that happy couples do have habits, they are just good ones :)
I tend to say I Love You less now, but that is because I get a better reaction from her if she hasn’t heard it in a while. We know we love each other, saying it is just a bonus.
Great tips you have here! The habits are great when they are good ones like these :)
I think they are great habits to have. In a world with so many BAD habits, it is refreshing to read about ones that are considered GOOD.
Happy couples usually make the unhappy ones very jealous and I can understand. They cannot figure out how they stay so happy when they are not happy at all.
Great list! I appreciate the information here and think that all of those fools in new relationships could learn a lot from it!
Checking in with each other seems like it would be sort of like stalking. I do trust my husband, but if I bothered him all day just to “check in” it would most likely upset him. What do I do in this situation?
I think you do what feels right. If he TELLS you that it bothers him, then leave him alone, why push it. If YOU feel like you are bothering, you might be, just take a step back once in a while and enjoy the space more.
Being able to say goodnight even when mad is hard, but it is something that still confirms that you are not very mad at bedtime and that you love your partner. Its about respect in most cases.
I agree. This is one thing that I prefer to do no matter what is happening between us.
What are you supposed to do when your significant other is not a hugger, but you are? I really like getting hugs and it just does not happen enough for me.
I am going to share this with my hubby. And you are right, the #10 habit is a good one!
Very good points! I always tell my husband that all I really ever wanted was a kiss before bed and a hug when I get home. We have been a happy couple ever since!
Seems like an easy request, right? What an easy thing to remember and do for your significant other.