How to get over a breakup

Dump The Baggage: How To Get Over Any Breakup

He abandoned you. He threw you away as if he never even loved you. And the worst part? How little he cared after. How unemotional he was. How okay he seemed with everything.

I get how horrible it feels when you honestly think you are in love with someone… and then all of sudden, out of nowhere, they pull the rug from beneath you. They stick a knife in your heart with such intensity you can’t even describe the pain anymore. It’s all too much. It’s too overwhelming.

Your life might seem meaningless. Or bleak.

One thing that drove me crazy after the worst break up of my life (with a girl I really was in love with and could not imagine life without)… was when people would say “time will heal this. I know it seems impossible to get over right now, but I promise it’ll be okay.”

No it doesn’t work like that, I’d think to myself… well… I do have to say… there are actually some ways to get over your ex without all the agony and despair with this foolproof technique to walking away without looking back.

Take The Quiz: Should You Break up With Him?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Should You Break up With Him” Quiz right now and find out if you should really break up with him…

One Door Closes, Another One Opens

Even though it sucks, every breakup is an opportunity for learning and growth.

You may have known that your relationship had run its course, but it’s a much different feeling when it’s finally over. You may have thought it would be easy but life after a breakup means a change in your day-to-day life.

Related: Just Got Dumped? Here Are 5 Reasons To Celebrate!

Usually you’d prefer to be the one doing the breaking up instead of being on the other end of that conversation. But it doesn’t always work out that way.

How To Get Over A Breakup

You may feel the intense need to find closure with your ex, but when the relationship is over, you’re your own best source of closure. Whether you can be friends again at some point or not, it’s best to take some time apart. This way you can collect yourself and come out of the breakup stronger, smarter and happier than ever before. The end of the relationship is an opportunity to meet someone who is better for you. I know that can seem like it’s a long way off but with this technique you’ll be smiling in no time.

how to get over a breakup

Plus, now you have more experience in relationships. You know more about what you do want in a partner and what you could live without. You’ll make better decisions that will make you much happier.

Stop Moping And Move On

The trick is to take the breakup at face value and get off the couch.

This breakup is real. It’s not a temporary situation. Sure, there is a chance that things could change and you’ll get back together. If it’s going to happen, it will happen. Don’t put all your time and energy into making it happen.

You’ll make yourself miserable trying to scheme and plot to get him back into your life. In the meantime, you’ll close yourself off to better possibilities.

Part of taking the break up seriously is cutting off communication with your ex, at least for now. You are never going to be able to clear your head if his words are still running through it.

Get Some Quality “You” Time

The most important thing to do after a breakup is focus on yourself.

Hang out with your friends. Spend time doing what you love. Spend time alone. Pamper yourself by finally doing the things you’ve been holding yourself back from. Take that trip you always wanted to take. Sign up for that class you’ve been meaning to try.

The worst thing you can do is sit in front of the TV feeling sorry for yourself, playing the same sad mantra over and over in your head: I’ll never meet anyone.

A few days to mope around is fine, but then you have to get out there and live your life.

Time doesn’t stop because your relationship has ended. And the best way to move on from the life you have been living is to establish a new and improved life.

Want to find out for sure if you should break up with him? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Should You Break up With Him” Quiz right now and find out if you should really break up with him…

Take The Quiz: Should You Break up With Him?

21 comments… add one
  • Meenakshi October 30, 2015, 1:37 am

    Mmmmmm!! n sorry writing such a big comment :D

  • Meenakshi October 30, 2015, 1:35 am

    Break up is never easy for anyone. My partner broke up with me this July. N breaking up after 3 year old relationship n that to when he’s your friend as well is quite more painful. N the reason he gave was that he can’t continue to be in a serious relationship (like together forever types) cause his family won’t allow him to marry a non nepali girl (yeah he’s Nepali). N all he had to say was that he doesn’t feel anything for me now but just wants to be my friend forever as we were before.. I did get hurt a lotttttt but, eventually i overcame my depression n moved on i guess… Though i still miss him,yet i know we can’t be that again what we were before.. we also did chatting once, 2 months after our breakup,cause he was caught in a big problem n i was like little worried about him. So i texted him n he told me that he was missing me,but didn’t text or try contact bcz he was afraid… but after that day i didn’t msg him again.. But On 13th Oct he sent me a simple msg saying “Jai maata di” as it was the starting of our Hindus Navratri Festival.. but i didn’t reply, cz i saw his msg the next day n also i didn’t know how to react over this or what to reply…. i really need some suggestion what should i do.. Cause I’ve no one to talk with about this.. Would u plz help me??? Cause i don’t want my past memories to over rule my present.. N I’m tired now… plzz

  • alot off pain May 10, 2015, 4:41 am

    if any one tested it its not easy for them now iam in breaking up with my husband i can say its easy for me but i have 2 children its not easy for them i didn’t now any ways to tell them why we breaking up i steel love him and i don’t him to leave as and i don’t no what to do?

    • Nora May 13, 2015, 12:33 pm

      Breaking up is hard enough to do. Doing so with a family is even harder. If you have a reason, that is YOUR reason and you need to think about you and the kids at this point. Good luck.

  • Norris May 6, 2015, 9:06 pm

    When I was in high school I dated a girl for 4 years and it was nice. When we broke up, I hit the wall and just went into a 2 year funk. I realized that I needed to move away from that area in order to “start anew” and that worked like a charm. I feel in love with my now fiance and look back only to think that a new door opened, even if it was 2 years later.

  • G. Hanke April 21, 2015, 10:11 pm

    It might be a man thing, but I have never had any trouble getting over someone that has broken up with me. Getting over a breakup is easy when you have good friends that will take you out and keep you from wallowing in your bedroom all day.

  • HennySEE April 21, 2015, 9:33 pm

    Yea, going through a breakup can be very tough, but how long are you really going to sit around and not move on? Pick yourself up, go for a guys night out and see what happens!

  • M. Jenson April 14, 2015, 3:30 pm

    Some people always mature and grow up after a breakup, however, there are some that will wallow in their self pity for months afterwards. That does NOTHING for your body, mind or soul! Great post here!

  • Agatha April 11, 2015, 10:52 am

    If you truly were not aware that the relationship was going to end, that is harder to overcome compared to a mutual decision to end it. Getting over a breakup is not easy regardless, but with friends, it can be a little easier.

  • Christian Potter April 9, 2015, 9:06 pm

    Some people never get over a breakup and that is sad. If someone effects you that much, there might be other issues going on at the same time.

    • Brandy April 12, 2015, 12:34 pm

      One door closes and another opens, that is a good way to describe it. Don’t you think?

      • L. Poreamer April 20, 2015, 6:16 pm

        Yes, I always liked that frame of mind. Great point!

  • Troy April 8, 2015, 10:59 am

    There has never been anything wrong with “YOU” time. it is time that you take a little bit of it and set is aside. Getting over a breakup is not easy, but when you reflect on things, it might be less of a hassle to overcome.

    • Damsel April 21, 2015, 10:12 pm

      I agree. YOU time is just as important as “WE” time, don’t you think? Learn to balance it out and you will be in the clear!

  • Daphene April 8, 2015, 10:39 am

    I think you have good tips here. The chance to meet someone better is always there, however, depending on the relationship, a breakup can be very bad for your mental state.

  • Danica April 7, 2015, 11:58 am

    Each person will take a breakup differently. But getting over a breakup can be something that is enlightening and refreshing. I would tend to point out the same things that you did here if someone were going through the situation.

  • Ted April 5, 2015, 11:34 am

    Yes, stop moping around and get back on your feet. The other door could open at any time and you NEED to be ready.

  • Nancy Wilmer April 5, 2015, 11:21 am

    Breaking up is hard to do. It is even harder if you see the new couple together a lot. There are ways that you can get over a breakup, but each person is a little different. The hope is that you go down the right path and now down one that will damage your self esteem.

  • Debbie B. April 3, 2015, 4:41 pm

    I agree that once the relationship is over, it is over. Pick yourself up, but if you have to review the breakup, do it ONE time. Once you close it out in your mind, that is when you will be OVER it.

    • Blake April 10, 2015, 12:42 pm

      We also know that sometimes it is just not THAT easy. Time should be taken to get over a breakup, rebounding is never the answer!

  • Kimberly April 1, 2015, 1:11 pm

    These are very good tips. Getting over a breakup has never been hard for me. Usually there is plenty of good reasons why I ended it or he did. I understand why some take a breakup a little harder though.

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