All Couples Need To Stop Doing These 8 Things

All Couples Need To Stop Doing These 8 Things

I recently went out to dinner with a few of my friends and their significant others. I was hoping to have a fun and relaxing meal with the people I cared about.

Instead, what happened?

Bickering. Fighting. Complaining about trying to make the other person happy and then piling on each other.

I had thought my friend’s relationships were all in good shape, but after that dinner I realized that there were some major cracks in the foundations.

I realized that even the strongest relationships can fall prey to a few basic mistakes, and once they do it becomes very hard to repair the damage, no matter how strong the relationship is. Even if it’s a marriage.

MORE: How to Stop Fighting in your Relationships

I sat down, concentrated, and came up with a list of 8 habits that will undermine and destroy even the strongest relationship. If you recognize one of these habits from your own relationship or you think it’s starting to develop, make sure to nip it in the bud immediately.

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Let’s start:

1. Insisting On Being Right

Everyone’s got an ego – we’re all human. And as humans with egos, sometimes we care more about being right than we care about another person’s feelings.

That’s why in a relationship it’s especially important to monitor that instinct towards selfishness, and stop pushing to come out on top in every disagreement if you see that it’s hurting your partner’s feelings.

It’s important to remember how much you love your partner, even in the most heated of arguments, and realize that your love for each other is more important than being right in one argument.

All healthy couples will do these 10 things.

2. Stopping Complimenting Each Other

All relationships grow more and more comfortable as they go on, until it feels like your partner is practically an extension of yourself.

However, that’s not an excuse to stop giving them compliments!

Compliments are important – they go a long way in any relationship. When’s the last time you got tired of hearing someone say “I love you” ?

It’s easy to get so comfortable with someone that you stop giving them compliments and flirting with them, because “they know how I feel already.” People never stop wanting to hear “I love you”.

Don’t allow a day to pass without complimenting your partner, telling them how beautiful you think they are, and how much you love them.

MORE: Important Things Happy Couples Talk About That You Should Try Too

3. Concealing Your Problems

Relationships are such intimate things. They represent the most intimate connection between two people that there is.

That’s why it’s important not to stifle the intimacy of your relationship by concealing your flaws and problems from your partner.

If you don’t allow your partner to know you completely, inside and out, the good and the bad, then how can you expect them to love your true self? They won’t know who you truly are?

Honesty begets honesty. When you’re completely honest with your partner, they’ll be completely honest with you, and you’ll make each other stronger in the process.

It’s not important to try to impress your partner with a lie, instead, impress them with your ability to tell them the truth and be completely transparent with them – your relationship will be stronger for it.

Here are 6 ways to spot an unhealthy relationship.

4. Not Being “Present” With Each Other

MORE: 10 Things Only Healthy Couples Understand
OK, so you made the effort and took the time to clear your schedule, and now you have some extra time to be with your partner. Is that all it takes?

No. It’s not enough to just “be there” with your partner, you actually have to be present with them! Just sitting there like a lump while your mind is a million miles away doesn’t count as really spending time with them.

When you spend time with your partner, you should care what they’re saying – the questions they’re asking you, the mood that they’re in, the interests they’re talking about – you should be paying attention to all of it.

If you’re just spacing out while your partner is talking, why are you even taking the time to be with them? You’re not being “present” with them, and it’s not making them or you happy.

All relationships require attention, love, and effort to flourish, and your partner needs to know that you’re mentally present and actively engaging when you’re with them.

These 5 common and deadly mistakes will destroy relationships.

5. Refusing To Compromise

All relationships require work. Even if two people are absolutely perfect for each other and compatible in every way, the relationship still requires effort and upkeep to survive.

This is especially true in a relationship where you and your partner disagree over certain things. If you want to keep your relationship strong, you have to learn the art of the compromise.

It’s easy to spend so long with someone that you begin to take them for granted and think that you don’t have to compromise with them anymore… but this is a mistake that destroys even the strongest relationships.

Instead, prove your love for them with your actions, and with your desire to compromise for them so that they can be happy. If you’re selfless with your partner, your partner will be selfless with you, and you will both treat each other’s happiness as your own.

End any fight with these 5 simple steps.

6. Competing With Each Other

Relationships aren’t competitions between two people – they’re partnerships. You and your partner are in things together, not against each other.

You and your partner join together to form a unit… a unit that’s much more powerful together than it ever was on its own.

Instead of pointing out your partner’s flaws or attacking their weaknesses, you should be helping them, supporting them when they’re less strong, and letting them help you when they’re stronger than you are.

That’s how to … (continued – Click to keep reading All Couples Need To Stop Doing These 8 Things)

23 comments… add one
  • Rosa Hartmann June 26, 2015, 2:48 pm

    By the looks of this list, you could have a bad relationship if you experience ANY of these. There are some couples in a toxic relationship that experience more than one of these on a daily basis and that is not good for anyone.

  • Tonya Breadman June 22, 2015, 6:20 pm

    As a counselor I would have to agree that couples that want to make it work, will make it work without these items listed. They are ALL very real scenarios and ones that can cause problems with couples.

  • Tina J. June 22, 2015, 4:23 pm

    I used to always argue that I thought I was right 99 percent of the time. Now that I have grown up and matured, that is not the case. It is embarrassing to think about it when I look back as well.

  • Nicky F. June 22, 2015, 3:48 pm

    Agreed. Couples that fall anywhere onto this list are the ones that are always fighting as well. You can spot them a mile away as they seem to not even really want to be in the same room together.

  • PoormMe88 June 22, 2015, 1:18 pm

    I had a b/f that cannot get away from the past. The worst part is that it is what he knows about my past that he cannot get around. How do I show him that I am not the same person he knew 10 years ago?

    • Lona G. June 26, 2015, 3:02 pm

      This is a tough one and even though you might really like the guy, it might be time to move on. If he is not going to get over your past, what is the point of making a future with him?

  • JackiesFriend June 22, 2015, 12:27 pm

    Talk about changing the dating culture. If all couples refrained from doing these things, I bet the culture would change. Too bad for society, most people are selfish and will NOT just stop these things to stop them.

  • Mark. June 22, 2015, 12:14 pm

    I have dealt with couples that are “always right” and when you have that scenario, there is no possible winner here. Once couples understand this, it is important that they can take the next step and admin fault.

  • Brian mwanalesa June 20, 2015, 1:57 pm

    I would say that the most important thing in a relationship is love and respect. Honestly how can you competing or refusing to compromising with a person you love and respect.

  • Jerry G. June 19, 2015, 12:31 pm

    I personally love to compliment my wife. We have been together for almost 15 years now and I am not about to stop just because of that. When she looks good or makes me happy, she MUST know!

  • Rebecca Kolesy June 16, 2015, 6:14 pm

    Revenge and lack of compromise will end any relationship quickly. This is a good list for beginners to learn from!

  • Danni Abbus June 16, 2015, 4:13 pm

    I dated a man that was so competitive I could barely talk to him on the phone. Everything that he did made him so weird that way. Was exhausting and not worth my time.

  • MerrryKay June 16, 2015, 3:40 pm

    Having to always be right can certainly be a problem between couples. I think that if you can find a partner that is willing to be wrong once in a while, that is a person with a good personality.

  • Tara S. June 14, 2015, 3:50 pm

    ANY relationship needs compromise. Not just b/f and g/f, even mother son, father daughter and the like. It just part of how to make things work for you.

  • J. Hills June 14, 2015, 3:39 pm

    For me, not letting the past go has been a reason to end a relationship. You have to be ready to move forward and no matter what ANYONE says, you cannot do that efficiently by looking back.

  • DeeAnn June 10, 2015, 7:26 pm

    I agree. ALL of these things can end a relationship quickly and if you feel they are OK, then you have other issues.

  • J. K Berr June 10, 2015, 7:15 pm

    Hiding your problems and other issues is never a good thing.

    • Maureen June 22, 2015, 4:50 pm

      In some studies, it can be worse for you than being a heavy drinker. It is a good thing to let it all out, regardless of who you talk to. Talk to the dog if that is all you have.

      • Eleanor R. June 26, 2015, 2:23 pm

        I have heard the same thing that you said here. Good point and just another way of looking at it.

  • Mary K. June 9, 2015, 9:48 am

    You talked about changing the dating culture and I think this post goes along with that one. If couples would stop doing things that you have listed here, the dating culture might change on its own, don’t you think?

  • DJ Flynn June 9, 2015, 9:32 am

    I would say that if you are going to be competitive with each other, you are not in the relationship for the right reason. You should be able to “lose” without issue with your man. That goes for arguing as well.

  • Debbie Jones June 7, 2015, 11:12 am

    I have seen couples that are VERY competitive and it can be a little overwhelming to be around them. They are constantly trying to out-do each other and that can be very unattractive in my opinion.

  • D. Lynn June 7, 2015, 11:00 am

    I would say that at least 50% of fights between us would be solved if we weren’t trying to both be right at the same time.

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