So you’re here because you want to know the signs you’re exclusive with him.
I’ll be honest with you – I was surprised when I saw what was out there for advice on this topic.
And not pleasantly surprised either.
In fact, I’d say that the internet has some downright absolutely completely terrible no good very bad advice about how to tell if you’re exclusive with a guy.
Terrible because it misleads you into thinking that being exclusive with him is a matter of hitting the right marks in your relationship and having the right things happen.
So I’m going to set the record straight. No more confusion.
Today, I’m going to give you the one, and only one, sign that you are exclusive with your partner.
The One Important Sign You’re In An Exclusive Relationship With Him
Over and over in other articles on the internet, I saw long lists of signs that mean you’re “definitely” exclusive with him.
Some of them even had decent advice about whether a relationship was becoming more serious… but none of them actually had the one thing that makes a relationship exclusive.
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Going To Commit?
Here are some of the good signs that your relationship is becoming way more serious (and moving towards exclusivity:
- You Talk About The Future Together
- Both Of You Are Done With Online Dating
- It’s A Given That You’re Going To Spend Big Days Together (Birthdays, Valentine’s, Etc)
- You Take Care Of Each Other If You Get Sick
- You Keep More Than A Little Stuff At Each Other’s Places
- You Have Keys To Each Other’s Homes
- You’ve Met His Friends And Family And He’s Met Yours
- You’ve Said ‘I Love You’ To Each Other
These are all great signs that your relationship is progressing nicely!
All of those signs taken together mean that your relationship is becoming fairly serious – but they don’t mean that you’re in an exclusive relationship with him.
Which brings me to the bad advice…
These Signs Do not Mean You’re Exclusive With Him
People wrote these as real advice that you’re in an exclusive relationship with him.
No, I’m not making these up.
• You Spend Most Nights Together With Each Other
• You Feel Guilty If Your Ex Contacts You
• There’s pda Involved
• You Have Pet Names For Each Other
• You Know All His Habits
• You Turn Down Other Guys Because Of Him
• You Know What Foods He Likes And Doesn’t Like
• You Pay For Half The Dates
• You Fantasize About The Future Together With Him
• You Don’t Think You’re Single Anymore
Let me make this perfectly clear: these are terrible signs you’re exclusive.
In fact, none of the signs above mean that you’re exclusive with him. Not even close.
Most of those signs are about how you feel when you think about him – and they’re building up a super unrealistic and unhealthy way of thinking about exclusivity in a relationship.
That’s because pretty much all of those signs are about you, or about your behavior with him.
None of them even mean that you’re in a serious relationship!
Every time you go out in public you could have over the top pda with him – and he could be dating 10 other women. Or you could both pay for dates without any expectation of exclusivity.
more: How To Get Him To Commit
In other words – don’t use those signs to figure out whether you’re exclusive with him. They don’t mean anything at all.
So if that’s the case…
How can you tell whether you’re exclusive with him?
How To Tell If You’re Exclusive With Him
The only way to tell if you’re exclusive with him is if he’s explicitly locked you down and told you that he wants an exclusive relationship. No other “sign” or “hint” means anything, he has to specifically say that he doesn’t want to see other people and that he wants to make the relationship exclusive. If you haven’t had that explicit conversation with him, you’re not exclusive yet. If you have, then you’re in an exclusive relationship.
What’s The One Sign That You Two Are Exclusive?
Don’t worry – it’s simple.
There’s one completely foolproof way to tell whether you’re exclusive with him.
Are you ready?
You are only in an exclusive relationship: if you have explicitly agreed with him that neither of you are going to see other people.
That’s it. That’s the only way to get into an exclusive relationship.
You can’t hint your way into an exclusive relationship. You can’t assume your way into it. You can’t look for signs that mean you’re in an exclusive relationship and then expect to be because you hit enough of them.
I’ll say it again: the only way to be in an exclusive relationship is to explicitly agree to be exclusive with your boyfriend.
That’s it. He’s got to agree and want to be exclusive with you, and you’ve got to agree and want to be exclusive with him.
So the question remains…
How do you get that with him?
How Do You Get Him To Want An Exclusive Relationship?
This is where I’m going to get into the other reason that those “signs” you’re in an exclusive relationship are terrible advice.
Here’s why: the way you get into an exclusive relationship with a guy is to never act as if you’re exclusively dating him – until he explicitly locks you down.
That’s it. You’re not exclusive with him until you both explicitly agree that you are.
The reason why the other advice is so terrible is because if you act like you’re in an exclusive relationship with him without having a conversation about it, it actually makes him less likely to lock you down.
Why? Because from his perspective, he’s already getting everything he could ever want!
You’re being exclusive to him, without requiring that he actually be exclusive to you. He’s free to see and date whoever he wants, and he knows he’s got you in his back pocket whenever he wants to see you!
When you do that, you put yourself in a no-win position. He has no incentive to lock you down and be exclusive with you, while you have no leverage. You’re stuck.
Like I said before, the only way to get him to be exclusive with you is to act like a free agent until he asks you to be exclusive.
Or, to put it another way: you’re allowed to date whoever you want (and you should date whoever you want) until you both explicitly agree that you’re only dating each other.
This does one very important thing: it makes him immediately realize that he could lose you to another guy unless he locks you down.
A guy needs that motivation and incentive to lock a woman down. Like I said before – if you’re treating him as your exclusive partner without requiring it of him, you’ve put yourself in a no-win situation.
But if you make it clear that you’re allowed to date other people just like he’s allowed to date other people, it makes him realize that he could lose you if another guy comes along that you like better.
In other words – it gives him an incentive to date you exclusively.
And that’s what makes him give you the only reliable sign that you’re in an exclusive relationship:
It’s what makes him have a conversation with you where you agree you’re dating exclusively.
Nothing else matters, and there’s no other shortcut. If you haven’t agreed with each other that you won’t see other people, you’re not dating exclusively. Period.
Want to find out if he’s going to commit? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really going to commit…