So you’re wondering, why won’t he commit to me, and how do I get a man to commit to me as deeply as possible?
You’ll find there’s a simple answer – but there’s also a condition. Don’t meet the condition and true commitment is impossible.
The most important step to having a true, committed relationship is to be a compatible match with each other.
It’s All About Compatibility
The truth is, trying to make an incompatible match work doesn’t ever succeed. When you’re not compatible with someone, then no matter what on the deepest level, you won’t feel comfortable as people around each other.
When you’re compatible with him, you won’t be scrambling to figure out whether he loves you.
If you pay attention, you’ll notice that the people who are “fighting for their relationship” the most are often in the most incompatible relationships of all.
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Going To Commit?
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s going to commit to you…
If you have to “fight” for your relationship – it’s a huge sign you’re incompatible with each other, because the truth of the matter is, great relationships are effortless.
Note that I’m not saying great relationships don’t take work – all relationships take work.
But in a great relationship, the work doesn’t feel like work. Both people in the relationship show up every day excited and enthusiastic to put in the work and be with each other.
Even when things are going rough – both people are still on each other’s sides – they have each other’s backs.
When things get tough, they don’t tear each other down, they hold each other up and help each other through it. And every morning, they both wake up wanting to be there.
If you’re truly incompatible with him – nothing you do is going to make it work in the end, or make a man who doesn’t want to commit suddenly want to commit to you. And if you feel like you have to “fight” for your relationship to survive – chances are it’s not going to work out in the long run.
So if you want to know the first step towards getting real, honest love and commitment, it’s this: you two have to be compatible with each other on a deep level.
That’s the foundation all great relationships are built on, and without it, no matter how much work you put in building on top of it, if the foundation isn’t solid, the house will eventually fall down.
What To Do To Make Him More Likely To Commit
Alright – so let’s assume you’re deeply compatible with each other. Now the question becomes, what can you do to make it more likely that he wants to commit?
There are 3 things to focus on that will make him more likely to commit.
First – focus on being the most attractive version of yourself possible.
There are a lot of ways to be your best looking self – no matter where you’re starting from. A lot of it is taking care of yourself, eating a healthy diet, and getting regular exercise, as well as getting good with your makeup.
Here’s the trick: don’t try to change what you can’t control. Instead, only focus on the things you can control.
In the end, what really matters is that you’re making your best effort to look good – and that you feel good about how you look.
Insecurity will always kill attraction, no matter what someone looks like. I can tell you that in my life I’ve met incredibly “conventionally” attractive women that have done nothing for me – because they still felt so insecure about themselves.
At the same time, I’ve felt extremely attracted to women who society would not call “beautiful”, but they owned their presence and were happy with who they were – and that attitude was more deeply attractive than any superficial outer beauty.
Support Him On A Deep Level
If you want him to want to deeply commit to you – he has to feel like you’re on team. He has to feel like you have his back – and that you connect with him and support him on the deepest level.
The way to connect with a man on a deep level and to stop him from withdrawing and pulling away is to recognize what he’s trying to do in his life – and to recognize the potential in him for him to be the best possible version of himself that he can be.
All men want to be the best version of themselves that they can be – but few reach it. And the few who do almost always have an extraordinary woman in their corner – one who truly gets who he is and who truly understands what he’s trying to do with his life.
And you can bet that those men would never want to face a day without having the woman who understands them in their corner.
So if you truly understand him – and help him become the best version of himself he can be, he will feel a deep desire to commit to you and join your lives together.
Now, there are some women who might hate this advice, and tell me, “This is such misogynistic crap. You’re telling women they have to bend over backwards and do everything for a man while he gets to sit back and do nothing.”
To those women, I would say this: you asked me how to get a man to want to commit to you. I’m telling you the things that men need from a relationship on a deep level – and I’m giving you the most effective things to do to make him want to commit to you.
If you think that men should want to commit just because you’ve been dating a long time, you’re in for a rude awakening.
These are the same women who think that men should have to work their butts off just to have her, because “I’m a prize and he has to earn me if he wants me.” Well, if he has to earn the right to date you, why wouldn’t you have to earn the right to get him to commit to you?
Get Your Mindset Right
Finally – I want to talk about something that trips a lot of women up when it comes to commitment. So many women are fixated on getting a “title” from him – as if having the right title in the relationship will define you as a human being, or give you a sense of security and safety, or turn a struggling relationship into a good one.
The truth is – your title doesn’t give you anything. It’s just a title.
Married men (and women) cheat all the time – title is no guarantee of behavior.
So in the end, the most important thing is that you can’t want commitment as a “title”, or think of getting the title as something that will magically make the relationship perfect.
True commitment comes from the quality of the relationship – and what you can bring to the table with him.
When you meet someone you’re compatible with, and you bring these things to the table, you’ll find that he will be delighted by you – and inspired to bring his best to the table as well.
And that’s how to build a relationship that really lasts.
On the other hand, if you want a relationship that will really stand the test of time and last forever, you need to make sure that he doesn’t start to lose interest in you and pull away. Once that starts to happen the process is sometimes irreversible and he will be lost forever, so if you suspect at all that he’s pulling away from you then you need to read this right now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out if he’s going to commit? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really going to commit to you…
Take The Quiz: Is He Going To Commit?
The Best Ways To Make Him Commit
- Be compatible on a deep level with him
- Focus on being the best version of yourself possible
- Support him on a deep level to become the version of himself that he wants to be
- Focus your mindset towards having a great relationship rather than a “title”
Yes trying to force change on any man is not wise even if you try your level best to get him to commit and his heart his true heart is not really in it you are only setting up yourself to be used its best to know your worth and carry on by moving on and knowing what’s best for you
Men don’t commit because they know they don’t have to. They know that you won’t leave them and even if you do leave,there will be some thirsty female out there that will be all too happy to pick up right where you left off. They believe that they are God’s gift to women. They will never realize that women are God’s gift to men. And most women do not recognize their value. And a large amount of women more than likely believe that they don’t have any.
men want 2b treated w/ respect as women want 2b treated w/ love&affection. give him this & ul find him wanting to commit 2u all the more
Support, comfort and safety. That is what it is all about and when all of those work out, the relationship blossoms.
Ok, since I am a guy, I looked at this post with a subjective mindset. I would prefer NOT to be pushed to commit, however, after a certain amount of time, I could see it happening. Good post!
Making a man commit is not that hard, at least for me. The bad thing is that if he really does NOT WANT to, then what is the point?
I do not see any reason to make a man commit. If he does not want to, you have to come to terms with that and like others have said here, it might just be time to move on.
Me either. You are just asking for trouble down the line.
Getting a man to commit cannot be that easy. Some men are fine with being labeled “single” or bring a ladies man all the time. This seems to be one of the toughest battles for any woman.
Getting support from your partner is a HUGE part of any relationship that is going to work.
That is why I love my husband so much.
That is good to hear. It is nice to hear that there are couples out there that actually like each other.
I have been trying to get my man to commit to marriage for a couple of years now. How long should I wait?
If you have been seriously talking about marriage for a year and there is still no movement, I think it might be time to take a walk.
I am in that situation right now. This guy will NOT commit, even after 4 years and plenty of wedding talk. what do I do now?
Time to move on, don’t you think? I mean, the guy is just dragging his feet, but for what?
I want a guy that is ready to commit right away. I do not mean we commit right away, I mean, he knows what he wants before we even get together.
I think that is a tall order to take on. There are so many things that come to light later in a relationship that might turn you away from a person.
I can understand that fighting for your relationship might mean it will not last, but so many relationships start with young people. Maybe they just have to grow up a little first?
I don’t want to MAKE my man commit. I want him to commit to me because HE wants to.
I feel the same way, but are you willing to wait forever?
When the guy feels like you are ready to commit, there is a better chance that he will do the same, right?
I think you make a good point. When the relationship gets to that balanced point, there will be a commitment.
When it comes to commitment, there are only a few things that I consider. If the guy can figure those out and how he fits into those things, we are all good :0
I agree with you Lisa. The guy has to also figure out what the hell he wants to do.
The compatibility would be figured out before you need a commitment, don’t you think? I can usually tell right away if we are compatible or not.
I think that guys do not commit in a normal time frame because there are waiting for the girl to do so. If woman wants to commit, it makes the guy feel good and then he knows that he has something for her.
I don’t know about this. Most men are the ones that initiate the commitment, at least that was the case with me all the time.
Giving support is a great way to get that commitment. That shows that you really care about him and that you are in the game for the long run.
Do you think that guys do not commit because they are afraid that something “better” will come along?
I think these are good tips. There is always a point in any relationship that makes you wonder if it is worth it. If he is not committing, take it to the next level and see what happens.