Let’s face it – at one point or another in our lives, we’ve all met “that couple.” You know, the ones at Starbucks cuddling as if they are on their own planet. It’s sickening, nauseating even (but we’re all secretly a bit jealous).
“That couple” has the perfect relationship – seemingly without even trying. They’re sooo in love. They do everything together while simultaneously somehow giving each other space.
It seems like they’re magical – like they’re some species that’s not even human in the way they connect with each other.
Well, unless you grew up in Area 51, they’re probably human.
And the differences in their relationships vs. other relationships aren’t supernatural. They actually come down to a few very simple factors.
Fact is, there are some traits that people who are very good in relationships have that help them immensely. These traits make these people really good in relationships.
And luckily, you don’t have to be born with them. You can put in the effort to make these traits a part of your personality starting right now.
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Ready? Let’s go:
1. They’re ok With Vulnerability
Vulnerability is scary! It’s terrifying! That’s why they call it vulnerability!
And yet, being vulnerable is part of what makes the best relationships so intimate and close knit. Both partners trust each other enough to be truly vulnerable – and that creates love.
If you’re brave enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable with someone, it creates a deep trust in your relationship that a million conversations couldn’t.
2. They Don’t Hang Onto Grudges
People who are great in relationships recognize that negative emotions aren’t constructive at all. Even if they feel hurt, they don’t want their partner to feel ashamed embarrassed or guilty.
So they let grudges go. They honestly forgive each other. It’s not a fake, passive aggressive kind of forgiveness where deep down you’re burning with seething rage. No, it’s truly the ability to let go and move forward. This ability to leave the past behind is what makes the relationship so strong.
3. They’re True To Themselves
If you’re comfortable enough to be your true self with someone, it’s a pretty safe bet to say that you’ve got an amazing relationship.
That’s why the people who know who they are and what they really like thrive so well in relationships. They’re able to take off all the expectations and assumptions they have about what their partner “should” like and focus on just being themselves – and it pays off bigtime.
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4. They Don’t Live In The Past
It’s easy to get wrapped up in assumptions about how your future is going to go based on past results.
“I’m always the one that loves more in a relationship, that’s why I get dumped.”
“My parents got divorced, I’m destined to get divorced too.”
“I’ve been cheated on so many times, I know this new person is going to cheat on me.”
These assumptions and thoughts are incredibly harmful to a healthy relationship. A true master of relationships knows that the only thing that matters is the present – and that they should live only in the day to day moment with a person rather than putting the full weight of the past on them.
5. They Let Their Partner Win Sometimes
I’ve seen a lot of relationships fall apart due to one basic flaw:
The two partners are always competing with each other.
Whether it’s board games, or an intellectual argument, or even who can parallel park better, arguments will always seem to crop up in dysfunctional relationships about who’s better at something.
And that’s crappy.
A person who’s great at relationships knows that it feels really good to be the best at something – and will want their partner to feel that way as often as possible. Letting your partner win and be the expert at things is an A+ move in relationships.
6. They Encourage Their Partner As Much As They Can
Sometimes in a relationship, one person (let’s call them Lisa) will want the other person to change.
Lisa has an idea that her partner could be better, and so she tries to push them to see it. This goes one of two ways.
In the first scenario, Lisa wants the other to change who they are out of a selfish impulse to make her life better. This creates resentment, animosity, and will eventually lead to a breakup.
In the second scenario, Lisa wants her partner to change in order to make his life better, and she tries to inspire him to that end. Instead of springing from selfishness, it’s from selflessness. And it makes her relationships way better.
See also: 10 Unexpected Habits Of Happy Couples
7. They Love Laughing With Their Partner
Humor is the best. You know it, I know it, The Simpsons know it. When you laugh with someone, you just instinctively feel closer and more connected with them.
That’s why the best relationships are filled with laughter, and the best partners know how to make each other laugh.
8. They’re Generous With Each Other
It’s easy to fall into the mindset of “I’ll do this for you, but what are you willing to do for me?” The problem is, this mindset is poison in a relationship.
Relationships are about being generous with each other. They’re about giving to your partner because you want to make them happy and you genuinely want to give, not because you want them to give back to you at some point.
If you’re more focused on the sacrifices you’re making rather than your desire to show your partner love, you’re thinking about things backwards. The best relationships are about generosity. True generosity. The kind that comes from within. The kind that has to do with your natural instinctual inclination to give. To give without needing to “get,” that’s the trick.
9. They’re Fine With Being On Their Own
It’s great when you’re in a relationship and you love being around the other person. You love being around them so much that you want to be around them every second of every hour of every day! But if you feel like you can’t breathe when they aren’t around, if you feel anxious every second you don’t spend with them and if you feel hollow and broken when they aren’t near you… that’s a huge problem.
That’s not great. That’s horrible.
People need space in relationships, period. If they don’t get it, they feel smothered, and the relationship falls apart. Men are particularly turned off if a woman is unable to enjoy herself by herself. But this applies to both women and men.
That’s why the people that do best in relationships are the ones who are able to love being with a person – but also able to spend time on their own without feeling bad about it. Ironically, couples that are OK with being apart from each other wind up being the strongest relationships out there.
Until next time,
Want to find out if you’re truly ready for love? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Are You Ready For Love” Quiz right now and find out if you’re REALLY ready for love…
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The Biggest Things People Who Are Great In Relationships Have In Common
- They’re ok with vulnerability
- They don’t hang onto grudges
- They’re true to themselves
- They don’t live in the past
- They let their partner win sometimes
- They encourage their partner as much as they can
- They love laughing with their partner
- They’re generous with each other
- They’re fine with being on their own
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