There is nothing worse than getting into a relationship with a guy you think is boyfriend material… only to end up dealing with a total jerk. I’m talking about a complete narcissist in the extreme case.
A guy who cares only about himself. The selfish, cold manipulative jerk who will emotionally use you and mentally abuse you until he’s sick of you…. (and has already taken you for everything you have).
Then, when he has no purpose left for you, he just throws you away. And you’re so broken. You’re so much worse off than when you first started dating. It’s as if you cannot remember the person you were before the relationship began.
All you want is relief. All you want is some sort of lifeline. Something that will give you the strength to pick up the pieces of your shattered psyche and lost soul.
These are the feelings so many women go through on a daily basis. Whether they are this extreme or just capture these emotions to some degree, it’s a type of pain I want no woman to experience.
This is a question I got from a reader:
“I’ve been dating the same guy for about almost a week now. The thing is, I have a habit of dating jerks, losers, and just bad guys. This guy hasn’t acted shady… yet, but I want to know for sure if there are any signs that I should ditch a guy before it’s too late, I’m obviously missing them. I’m tired of winding up with losers who leave me heartbroken and alone. I just want to be able to sort out those guys from the good guys. Please help!
What tells me if I’m in a bad relationship?!”
Take The Quiz: Should You Break up With Him?
After working with so many clients, I have learned a lot of women do not know the difference between “forgivable mistakes” and the more sinister red flags that should warn you off of a relationship.
Sometimes you just get a gut feeling that something isn’t right… Maybe he isn’t showing you the level of respect you expect from a man or maybe he completely ignores your boundaries and personal space.
You think to yourself, “Maybe it’s just this once”.
“Maybe it’s just a quirk of his.”
“Well, he seems like a nice guy, I can get over this one thing, right?”
Or even “Things will get better. They have to, right?”
Sometimes some of the most “obvious” red flags are completely ignored and the consequence is a broken heart.
The thing is, a lot of women are conditioned from a young age to accept these red flags as normal. Did you ever have a boy tease you on the playground relentlessly, only to be told that he was “just teasing you because he likes you”?
Have you ever had a gut feeling that something was shady… and sure enough, he winds up being disrespectful, rude or even a downright womanizer?
Well that is complete B.S. and you don’t have to put up with it any longer. You just have to know what to look for.
Top Red Flags That A Man Should Send You Running:
1. He Lies
I don’t care if he lies about his age, or if he conveniently forgets to tell you important things (like a business meeting…). If he lies to you for any reason, he should be out of your sight and out of mind.
2. He Ignores The Boundaries You Set
If he gossips about information you’d rather not share, touches you when you don’t want it, or tries to push you into things you don’t want to do… don’t waste your time on him. If you do, you’re only setting yourself up for heartbreak and frustration later on down the road.
3. He’s A Drama-King
He starts arguments and fights, and not just with you. If you let yourself stick around that negativity it will affect your own vibe, bringing your own mood down and leaving you feeling drained and unhappy.
4. He Doesn’t Get Along With Your Friends
Your friends really, really dislike him. If you have long-time friends voicing “red flags” about a guy, listen to them. They might have something really important to say. Sometimes it’s really hard to see something negative going on in your relationship when your own emotions are caught up in it.
Take this quiz and find out Are You Meant To Be Together?
5. He’s Too Busy For You
If he’s too busy for you, there’s probably a reason for that. This is the “age of communication” where we can connect with something with the push of a few buttons. It is not difficult to set a few minutes apart to make a call or send a text.
And if you haven’t actually been meeting up or going on dates with him? There’s a chance he’s either seeing other women or doesn’t see you as important enough to take some time out of his busy schedule.
If a man wants to see you, he will make time.
6. He Makes You Feel bad
Emotions can be confusing… especially if you have a crush. If you feel like he is being shady and he isn’t giving you any reason to think otherwise, don’t fool yourself into believing he is worth sticking around for.
The hardest part about the “bad” guys that should send you running… is the running itself. But trust me, as soon as you separate yourself from people that are toxic, your life will change for the better.
If you feel a sense of nervousness, fear or sadness when you’re around him, why would you want to be with this person?
A man is either compatible with you, or he’s not. You might be confusing being compatible with experiencing an up-and-down emotional rollercoaster. If you always feel bad, tense or nervous about him leaving or him not wanting you anymore, when he shows you any sign of approval and signal that he’s sticking around, it can feel extremely relieving.
This feeling of relief in contrast to the low of the anxiety and constant tension can be mistaken for happiness and is what makes you think you are compatible.
The low makes you need the high, but the “high” isn’t really a “high.” He isn’t making your life better. He is simply making you feel so bad that when you get that relief, it seems good by comparison.
That being said… every relationship does take work. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you’ll just meet a perfect man and everything will be sunshine and daisies for the rest of your life.
If you aren’t putting forth a good vibe and honest effort into a relationship (or even dating) then you aren’t going to get good vibes and honest results in return.
Try clearing your mind of suspicion first, bring yourself to a “happy place”, and then try again. If you still feel like your guy is shady, then he might be worth leaving. If you feel like he might have just given a bad first impression, give him a second shot.
Have you noticed any red flags I didn’t mention here? Have personal experience with anything I mentioned above? Have a specific man in your life you don’t know whether you should run from or stay with?
Let me know in the comments below!
Want to find out for sure if you should break up with him? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Should You Break up With Him” Quiz right now and find out if you should really break up with him…
Take The Quiz: Should You Break up With Him?
The Biggest Relationship Red Flags
- He Lies
- He Ignores The Boundaries You Set
- He’s A Drama-King
- He Doesn’t Get Along With Your Friends
- He’s Too Busy For You
- He Makes You Feel bad