9 Signs He's Really Not That Into You

16 Signs He’s Really Not That Into You

One of the most frustrating positions for a woman to be in is wondering whether a guy is into them or not.

It’s tough, because on the one hand you want to let him make the first move… but on the other hand if he’s not interested then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment…

And you could second guess yourself a million different ways. Maybe he’s too shy to make a move… but if that’s the case then why didn’t he text you back? Your girlfriend says he’s interested in you, but he didn’t respond to any of the hints you dropped.

more: Vixen Daily’s Top Signs That A Guy Is Interested In You

It’s enough to wonder whether guys are too dense to pick up on even the strongest hint that he should make a move.

Whatever your situation, it’s nerve-wracking to keep asking yourself the question: “Is he into me or not?” But before you can answer that, you have to ask yourself this: how do you know he’s not into you in the first place?

That’s why I came up with this list of no nonsense signs that will show you how to tell if a guy is not into you.

And if he’s not showing you these signs, that means that unfortunately, he’s not shy… he’s just not that into you. Luckily for you, we’ve listed some of the most common signs he’s just not that into you.

This article will give you 16 signs he’s not into you

Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out if he likes you…

The Top 10 Signs He’s Not That Into You

1. He Never Calls/Texts/Messages You First

This is a big one.

When a guy is into you, he wants to talk to you. He loves to talk to you. He craves talking to you.

It just feels good to him.

If he’s obsessed he’ll be watching his Facebook messenger list like a hawk waiting for you to come online.

more: What To Do When A Guy Doesn’t Text You Back

And he might restrain himself and not text or message first in order to not appear too eager, but…

Some of the time, he will contact you first.

If you’re always the one texting, calling, or messaging him first, and he never initiates a conversation – that’s one of the biggest signs that he’s not into you.

2. He Flirts With Everybody

Woe to the woman who falls for this type of guy.

It’s super easy to become interested in a guy who’s flirting with you. After all, just talking to him makes you feel good… and that makes you wonder if you make him feel good too.

more: Find Out The Truth: Is He Flirting With You?

The problem is, usually with a guy like that, if he’s interested in you he’s going to make a move.

A guy who flirts with everybody isn’t shy – he’s going to go after what he wants. So if you’re hoping that he’s interested in you because he’s flirting with you, but he’s not making a move and he flirts with lots of other people, it’s a sign he’s not into you.

3. He Doesn’t Get Jealous At All

A guy who’s into you is a guy who’s super sensitive to competition.

He might not go charging off threatening to fight any guy who looks at you (obviously not)…

But an interested guy is a guy who’s going to pay attention when you mention another guy.

If you were into a guy and he mentioned a woman he’s “friends” with – you better believe you’d be paying close attention.

more: 5 Things That Make A Guy Jealous

So whether you’re casually dating him and want to know if he wants something more, or whether you have a crush on him and want to know if the feelings are mutual, watch how he reacts when you mention plans with a guy friend of yours.

If he instantly snaps his attention to you and starts asking questions – that means he’s jealous, and he’s probably at least a little bit into you.

But if he couldn’t care less, it’s one of the signs he’s not that into you.

4. He Never Tries To Spend Time With You

This is maybe the biggest sign.

If a guy is into you, it’s because it feels really good for him to be around you.

It’s because he gets an excited, happy, positive feeling in his stomach when he’s around you.

more: Top Signs That A Guy Likes You

And if he’s getting that feeling, he’s going to listen to his gut. He’s going to want to be around you, and he’s going to make an effort to spend more time with you.

That means that he’s going to make excuses to see you. He’s going to make an effort to see you.

If he’s always too busy to see you, and never makes an effort to get together with you, that’s one of the strongest signs he’s not into you.

Sure, he might be insanely busy in his life, and even though he’s into you and wants to see you he just has too much other stuff going on.

But that situation is pretty rare. If that’s what’s going on, he’s going to have some crazy stuff going on in his life (and it will be obvious why he can’t spend time with you.)

If he doesn’t have serious, compelling reasons why he keeps missing chances to spend time with you, the simplest answer is the right one – he’s just not that into you.

5. He Talks To You About Other Women In His Life

This is a huge “you’re a friend, not a potential girlfriend” sign.

A guy would never ask for advice on his love life with other women from a woman he’s seriously into.

That screams that you’re his friend who he’s looking for a woman’s perspective from, rather than someone he’s interested in dating.

Obviously, casual dating means that you’re allowed to see other people at the same time as him – just like he’s allowed to do the same.

more: How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone With Him

But if he’s talking to you about them? Asking your advice?

It means he’s much more serious about them than he is about you, which is not a good sign for your future together.

6. He Never Really Listens To You

When you’re talking to him, does it usually seem like he’s a million miles away?

If it seems like he’s always distracted and thinking about something else when you’re with him, that tells you that you’re never his priority. That you come second, even when you’re in the same room as each other.

more: My Article On The Biggest Signs He Doesn’t Like You

And a man who’s into you isn’t going to put you second when you’re spending time with each other.

He’s going to want to be present. To talk to you and really listen to what you have to say.


Because he’s interested in you! If he’s actually got feelings for you, they’re going to force him to pay attention to you.

If he’s got something huge going on in his life and he’s distracted for a couple days when you hang out, it’s probably no big deal.

But if he’s never really present when you’re spending time together, that tells you that you’re not #1 on his list, and you probably won’t be in the future either.

7. You Haven’t Met Any Of His Friends

If he’s actually into you, you’re going to meet his friends.

Why? Because he wants their opinions. He cares what his friends think (no matter what he says to the contrary).

He might not plan a whole evening out for you to meet his friends, but if he’s really into you, then it will just happen organically. You’ll be hanging out with him and you’ll meet his friends naturally.

more: What To Do If He Hides You From His Friends

If you never meet his friends… if it’s more of a “come over late” type of arrangement you have with him… if he avoids the possibility of meeting up with his friends while he’s with you…

That means he’s not that into you, and it’s probably not going to get serious.

8. He Hasn’t Met Any of Your Friends

How to tell if he’s not into you? He doesn’t make an effort to meet your friends. While guys aren’t the most inquisitive creatures, they are curious.

How to tell he’s not into you? He doesn’t want to integrate into your life. If he isn’t making an effort to meet your friends, chances are he doesn’t care about getting their validation … which unfortunately means he doesn’t value the relationship enough to prove himself.

9. You Only Hang Out When It Works For Him

It’s hard to get a guy to put in effort about anything unless he cares about it.

That’s why you’ll see a guy put in hours of work over picking the right guys in fantasy football – but ignore the dishes stacking up in his sink.

He doesn’t care about the dishes – he cares about beating his friends. (Obviously I’m not saying that all guys let the dishes stack up, I’m just using it as an example).

If he cares about you, he’s going to put in an effort to spend time with you. That means that he’ll come over to your place, even though it’d be easier for you to come over to his.

more: Signs He’s Not Interested And It’s Time To Move On

It means that he’ll make small compromises for you, rather than forcing you to compromise for him.

If he’s actually into you, he won’t mind it – just like he doesn’t mind putting hours into a game online.

But if he refuses to compromise, even on the small stuff, it’s one of the biggest signs that he is not into you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Signs he’s not into you anymore?

He doesn’t make any effort to contact you or to be around you.

Subtle signs he’s not into you?

Eye contact, body language, the information he shares.

Signs he’s not into you through body language?

He doesn’t make any contact. He doesn’t lean into you. He doesn’t want to be around you physically and he kind of backs away when around you.

Signs he’s not into you through text?

He doesn’t reply to your texts and when he does reply he only responds with short sentences or few words.

Signs he’s not into you after a first date?

He doesn’t call or make any plans to follow up and see each other again.

How do you know a guy’s interested after the first date?

He calls and follows up.

Signs he is into you but afraid?

He reaches out to you online or via messenger or Instagram.

10. He Avoids Eye Contact

When he’s not into you, he will avoid eye contact. He won’t look at you a lot. If a guy likes you, he will definitely make eye contact a lot and not be able to help looking at you.

11. He Doesn’t Try to Impress You

How do you know someone’s into you? They try to impress in some way. He will not be concerned with how he comes off to you. He won’t make an effort to be animated around you.

12. He Doesn’t Tell You Personal Things

AKA he doesn’t reveal much about himself or open up to you emotionally. This is one of the sure-fire “he’s just not that into me” signs, because he when a man likes a woman he wants to share intimate and personal details about himself.

13. He’s Not Curious About You

And this is one of the biggest he’s not that into you signs. He doesn’t ask about your life, care to get to know you, ask about family and friends, or even casually ask how you’re doing.

14. He Doesn’t Treat You Differently

He treats you just like everyone else, with complete indifference. There is nothing worse when it comes to a guy liking you than him being genuinely indifferent toward you.

15. He’s Distracted When He’s Around You

How to know if a guy is not into you? He is not in the moment; instead, he is his phone a lot, looking around the room, constantly eye-ing who just walked through the door.

If he’s not present and seems to be everywhere else but with you, he’s just not that into you.

16. You Don’t Feel Like He’s That Into You

Ultimately, your gut is going to tell you the truth.

Your instincts are probably a lot better than you give them credit for, so try this quick test:

Clear your head and totally relax. Try to let go of anything you’re feeling.

Now, think about this question in your mind with complete openness and honesty: “Is he not into me?”

Did your stomach sink? Or leap? Did you get a hopeful feeling? Or a feeling of dread?

Your gut is going to give you the right answer, you just have to be brave enough to listen to it.

If your gut is telling you, “I don’t really see a future with this guy, maybe he’s not into me, I should find a guy who’s interested in me the way I want him to be.” – then your gut is probably right. Sometimes you don’t need explanation and just know when a man is not into you.

Watch The Video: Guaranteed Signs He’s Just Not That Into You (How To Really Know)

But Don’t Lose Hope…

On the other hand if deep inside you believe this guy is right for you even when he seems interested then you need to listen up because lots of women think they are picking up on signs he’s not interested when he really is just afraid of taking the next step. You might think you’re picking up on signs a guy is not into you when he is really just instinctively pulling away (and he may not even notice it consciously). So, if you want to spark his interest even if he is going cold, becoming distant or pulling away, then you have to read this now: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Want to find out if the man you want really likes you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You?” Quiz right now and find out if he likes you…

Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?

In summary…

Here Are The Biggest Signs He’s Not Into You And Not Interested

  1. He never calls/texts/messages you first
  2. He flirts with everybody
  3. He doesn’t get jealous at all
  4. He never tries to spend time with you
  5. He talks to you about other women in his life
  6. He never really listens to you
  7. You haven’t met any of his friends
  8. He hasn’t met any of your friends
  9. You only hang out when it works for him
  10. He avoids eye contact
  11. He doesn’t try to impress you
  12. He doesn’t tell you personal things
  13. He’s not curious about you
  14. He doesn’t treat you differently
  15. He’s distracted when he’s around you
  16. You don’t feel like he’s that into you

signs he's not into you and not interested

52 comments… add one
  • Abigail June 11, 2021, 7:06 am

    I have no problem whth my guy we re good to go.

  • Kaltum January 26, 2021, 6:22 pm

    Thanks it Help <3

  • Unwana November 17, 2020, 2:22 am

    He claims to love me but doesn’t like calling or texting me.
    Also when he now calls he will be so mad that he didn’t call first, threatening to end the relationship.

  • Powerful Sight July 27, 2020, 3:06 am

    Nice and interesting post. Bravo!

  • Roshell April 22, 2020, 11:57 pm

    How do you shake the feeling of liking someone that you know has a girlfriend. I guess I really need to know how to dissolve the friendship. I will never want to jeopardize their relationship and our friendship. I DON’T want it done to me. Note he is a contractor doing work on my house, that is not going anywhere soon. I have hired people behind his back to do some things, in a effort to lessen his time at my house.

  • Unknown March 19, 2020, 5:50 am

    It’s so sad as I’m in the situation where by I have just realise that the guy I’m staying with is not interested in me however we share a two month old baby girl, now I’m stuck I don’t know what to do

    • RPS April 5, 2020, 8:27 am

      Don’t give up that easily, seduce the man! (If you still love him, that is) think about what made him fall in love in the first place then work it out from there. You can do this!!

  • Josephine February 23, 2020, 7:35 am

    He never meet my friend or i never meet his friend is not important for me even he is into me or officially together. That is not a point. The most important is meet each other family after officially together. If into me, the most important for me is he will spent time with me even once a week and texting me during normal day. That is enough for me.

  • greg October 22, 2019, 7:42 am

    Great, i like it!

  • Rita August 31, 2019, 3:26 pm

    Girls we must learn to let it go

  • Michelle May 28, 2019, 4:31 am

    If you don’t feel a guy likes you and you feel yourself wanting to block him, then do it. No woman needs to get hung up on an ambivalent guy.

  • Kal-el November 28, 2018, 8:11 am

    am always initiating the conversation..he never calls me/text me am always be the first he never asks about me..like how are doing or about my life…

  • Kal-el November 28, 2018, 8:05 am

    we are in long distance relationship and i feel am always initiated ,am always be the one first to text and every time i wanna call him he would just say ” hey Everyone here is asleep so em i”

  • Diana July 13, 2018, 8:45 am

    We ladies are usually so into guys sometimes that we give excuses on their behalf. God give us the boldness to flee when we see signs

  • Mapule Tlaka July 10, 2018, 6:19 pm

    My boyfriend just call and ask how was my day.then he keep quiet, he don’t tell jokes or something, am always bring conversation, plz help

  • Ali July 5, 2018, 4:23 pm

    Tbh here’s the thing. I really don’t care if a guy is interested or not….. sure if it seems he is not then that makes me all the more determined to become the lady of his dreams. I just want to know how to make myself attractive enough. I can go on a diet/ lose weight, change my hair/ makeup. Studies show that more often than not this can be done.

  • William Buchanan May 29, 2018, 12:47 pm

    Not all guys are so confident and ruling those ones out un favor of confident ones means you’re more likely to end up with a psycho, I know a lot of women tend to get defensive when I say this but I’ve seen too many end up in toxic relationships wondering “where are all the good guys?” Or “why can’t I find a guy who’d treat me right?”……. The answer is simple, they’re all in your friendzone and whether you like it or not by not changing your criteria you won’t see any change. If you want someone who will treat you right you’re going to have to make changes in both your criteria and the rules you play by and educate yourself in some basic psychology, find out which personality type you want then adjust your criteria
    and rules you play by and I can assure you through time you’ll notice a difference.

  • Dinny April 25, 2018, 7:02 pm

    Thank you for this article.
    Eye opening

  • Netta March 10, 2018, 6:21 am

    This is how I feel. He messaged me on Thursday while I was at work and he said he missed me and so I was getting off of work and I told him I would call him when I got off. I called and left a message saying, I miss you too! He usually calls me after I call him. Here it comes Friday, he didn’t send me a text or call at all. So now it is early morning Saturday and I will see what happens.

  • Bonnie November 15, 2017, 8:54 pm

    Some of this does point out about my man he don’t spend time with me always saying he busy and half time he tells me he loves me but I’ll say it first this so hurts why guys do this

  • Bella June 12, 2017, 7:39 pm

    I like this guy . He talks flirts exc… but my friend asked him if he likes me . He said no but we constantly talk in person he smiles does he

  • Lisa January 4, 2017, 10:26 am

    He never calls/ text am always initiating the conversation..he never asks about me..like how are doing or about my life…never chats me yet he’s always online..I just ended it can take it anymore

  • sandralou September 7, 2016, 7:29 pm

    there are people who do not get jealous so easily. but if someone’s obviously flirting with you and he can actually see it but doesn’t react to it, better think twice!

  • monica September 6, 2016, 8:27 pm

    i wish men just say what they really feel esp in this kind of situation.

  • Maddie September 6, 2016, 8:48 am

    I like this guy so much, he flirts with me but at the same time treats me like one of his best mate.

  • cassandra September 3, 2016, 1:06 am

    men are different in many ways esp in expressing themselves and their feelings. i hate men who can’t just tell the truth.

  • ariel September 1, 2016, 6:16 pm

    if the an you’re dating doesn’t see to listen to you and seem to not even get jealous at all is not that into you. if he loves you, even w/out words, he should be able to express it w/ actions.

  • brenda August 31, 2016, 7:39 pm

    be sure to be aware of these signs, ladies. don’t wanna be left out feeling used

  • sharon August 30, 2016, 11:50 pm

    you don’t deserve to be with someone like this..move on, you’ll find a better man

  • farah August 29, 2016, 6:04 pm

    just don’t fall for the guy whom you think don’t care about you and your interests.

  • cathy August 26, 2016, 7:09 pm

    i always make sure to give the guy a chance to text/call me first. if he couldn’t do that, i know he’s not that interested.

  • marinelle August 25, 2016, 11:29 pm

    this is a wake up call to many women..i hope they too could learn from it

  • daphne August 24, 2016, 7:50 pm

    i hate man who literally flirts w/ everybody! if you see your man doing this or having this tendency, flee!!

  • vina August 23, 2016, 11:37 pm

    when he doesn’t text/call you and you haven’t been invited to meet his friends/family, these are my top signs.

  • carmela August 22, 2016, 11:48 pm

    a lot of women do not understand men at all..this will surely make them see more of men’s standards and simple needs in women

  • mikaela August 19, 2016, 12:13 am

    i was once w/ a guy who just such a flirt. i found out it’s not he’s not really into me, he’s just really a flirt and i hated it.

  • dinahmae August 18, 2016, 12:54 am

    there are really people who don’t get jealous easily but if it’s too obvious and you think he should be alarmed, then you should have a hint that he’s really not that into you.

  • stephanie August 15, 2016, 11:46 pm

    if he hasn’t introduced you to any of his peers/family, then you know he’s not that into you. serious men would do this kind of stuff

  • carille August 12, 2016, 11:13 pm

    if he doesn’t seem to care esp about your feelings and your interests, you should know he’s really not that into you

  • marina August 11, 2016, 6:45 pm

    oh we should know all these by now! most of the time ladies tend to push a relationship based on her feelings, not really minding the guy’s. and then in the end cry feeling betrayed. know these tips, ladies! <3

  • angel August 10, 2016, 11:44 pm

    i hate it when he doesn’t make time for me. we only hang out when he’s not busy w/ work. and although he tries to tell me how hard he tries, i still feel there’s something lacking. :(

  • mika August 9, 2016, 10:46 pm

    when you’re with a man who flirts with everybody, doesn’t matter if he’s into you or not..you just know you’re not supposed to be with him.

  • tiana August 9, 2016, 1:29 am

    this thought sucks but we should always be mindful about this. i usually fall for the wrong guy bec i don’t heed the signs and warnings.

  • lebogang Mokoena August 6, 2016, 1:51 am

    ya its kinder tough when your guy doesn’t give you timing, always busy only to find out he is not that into you.

  • lebogang Mokoena August 6, 2016, 1:49 am

    ya dats true my guy didn’t have timing for the two of us only to find out she was dating with my friend it took time for me to accept nd move on

  • caroline August 5, 2016, 11:54 pm

    i had an ex who always made me feel like i was less. it made me miserable thinking i wasn’t doing enough and that made me lose my self confidence. i hope girls learn to love themselves and learn to value their true worth.

  • gina August 4, 2016, 11:31 pm

    if he doesn’t text/call you as before..you should already know.

  • elva August 3, 2016, 6:49 pm

    it’s so sad to find out after all that the man you’ve been with isn’t really into you. this happened to me and it took a while t get over. i kept thinking what i did wrong..in time i came to understand better.

  • gladys August 2, 2016, 7:08 pm

    when he doesn’t even consider your comfort and convenience and just want to hangout whenever he likes, don’t push it

  • jeana August 1, 2016, 9:10 pm

    these are all so accurate..we need to understand these signs so we won’t fall with the wrong person

  • jeanette July 29, 2016, 11:07 pm

    ladies need to make sure to read this, it will help a lot :)

  • jazmin July 28, 2016, 6:21 pm

    i hate saying this but..better know the truth before being stuck too deep and getting hurt too much

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