Do you know how to spot the signs he wants a relationship with you? What key things tell you he’s ready to commit and be with you?
A lot of women have a really hard time seeing the signs he wants to be exclusive, especially if a guy’s actions don’t line up with what he says…
Not to worry though. I’m going to reveal 5 key things that men do when they’re looking to commit to you.
After talking to guys and dissecting what they say and how they feel, they actually say some pretty surprising things when it comes to what makes a girl “girlfriend material” versus a girl they would just hook up with and never treat as something serious.
I’ve taken all of these conversations with guys and boiled them down to 5 key things most guys do. Knowing and understanding this will put you in a major advantage over other women. A lot of women ignore this wisdom and don’t know how to spot the signs he wants to date you exclusively.
MORE: The 8 Biggest Signs He’s Serious About You
With these 5 key tips, you will have the clarity to see for yourself if a man wants you and does he want a relationship. Not knowing (or worse, ignoring) these signs will lead to getting lost within yourself worrying about the status of things.
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1. He Is Consistent With Contact
One of the easiest things to notice when looking for signs he sees you long term is whether he’s consistent and reliable in communication.
Now, this doesn’t mean he has to contact you every single day. It’s more about the overall, long term pattern of his contact with you. If he doesn’t see any potential with you, he won’t be consistent and he won’t make much effort to contact you outside of when it’s strictly convenient for him.
When he’s consistent with his contact, you’ll know because he’s reaching out to you, following up with you, and responding in timely manner. Communication can cover everything from text messages, a video call, in person, or talking on the phone.
This happens over the course of several weeks or a couple of months. You’ll have enough time to see a pattern of good quality connection and communication from him because he’s making that consistent effort.
If a man really wants you in his life, he will make space for you and try and fold you into his routine. This means he’s reaching out and connecting with you a couple times a week on a long-term basis. Guys who just want a “booty call” only make the effort when they want something and when it’s convenient to their life, not yours.
If he sees long-term potential, he will make the effort to stay connected because he doesn’t want to lose the chance to get to know you and have you in his life. Again, give this one time and look at his behavior over several weeks and months.
MORE: 18 Signs a Man Wants to Be With You (And He Wants a Serious Relationship)
Watch The Video: If He Wants a Relationship With You, He’ll Do These 5 Things
2. He Integrates You Into Multiple Layers Of His Life
If a man wants you in his life, he will put you there.
This means that you’ve been to his house. He’s brought you to work functions with him where he introduces you to people and has you mingle along with him. You’ve met his friends and family.
Do you see where I’m going with this? You’re not just coming over and doing the cringy “Netflix and chill” routine with him.
Instead, he’s actively inviting you to be a part of his life and he wants to show you off by introducing you to the people closest to him (i.e. friends, family, and coworkers).
Men do not put this time and effort into bringing casual hookups around and integrating them into their lives. If they don’t see something long-term, they don’t waste time making connections with you and their personal network.
Signs he wants to be in a relationship could be anything from taking you as his plus-one to a wedding or other special event. He invites you on vacation or takes you places. He’s not only not afraid to be seen with you but he actively seeks to be out and about with you in public.
On the flip side, if he keeps you in one domain (just getting drinks and then going back to the bedroom) he’s just having fun. He’s not trying to date you seriously.
MORE: 11 Reasons He Wants To Keep You Around Even Though He Doesn’t Want A Relationship
3. You Are The Exception
If someone wants to be with you, they’re willing to go outside of their comfort zone a bit (and sometimes a lot!).
For instance, if he says, “I don’t do X/Y/Z…” and then ends up doing it with you, it’s a pretty good sign you are the exception and he likes you enough to explore outside of his comfort zone to stay connected with you.
You can even spot this sign simply by things he says. Example: “I never like going out to movies but with you it’s fun” or “I don’t really talk to a lot of girls but with you it’s different”.
Him stating things like this show that he sees you as different and special and feels some sort of connection that he hasn’t before and doesn’t feel with other women.
4. He Stays Intimate After Hooking Up
One of the biggest signs a guy wants a relationship with you is that he stays in contact and intimacy after hooking up.
I want to be clear here… I’m not simply talking about a guy continuing to hook up with you on multiple occasions. This is a trap that a lot of women fall into, mistaking it for real, honest intimacy and connection.
If the only thing he’s doing is continuing to hook up and not make any other efforts, it’s not a good sign that he sees a long-term relationship. It’s not the same thing as him deepening the relationship and connection after hooking up.
A full relationship is composed of many parts and hooking up is only one arena of that. While important, the physical and intimate connection is not the only thing.
MORE: Why He Doesn’t Seem Interested (Even Though He Is)
If all he’s doing is continuing to hook up without deepening the relationship, it’s a sign that all he wants is the physical fun aspect of it. He’s not taking you out, he’s not investing in you, and he doesn’t bring up commitment ever. And if you bring it up, he either ghosts you or brushes it off and tries to steer things back to the physical aspect of your “situation-ship”.
“Does he want a relationship with me?”
Take a good look at what you’ve got going on and be honest with yourself about whether he’s actually investing in a relationship with you outside of the bedroom or if it just seems like a good situation for him to be getting the physical fun he wants and nothing more.
5. You Are Part Of His Future
While similar to #2 (he integrates you into his life in the external realm), this is about how you fit into his inner world as a man. You fit into the “big picture” and the vision he has for his life, what he wants and where he’s heading.
One of the big signs a man wants to be with you is that he sees you as a part of his future. Even if he doesn’t have his life fully together or his future figured out, he knows he wants you to be a part of it because you make everything in his life brighter.
To have you in his life gives him a sense that he’s a better man, you bring out the best in him, and you make him feel like a winner in life.
This is one of the biggest and most important distinctions between a casual hookup and someone he can see marrying and being with for life. You make him feel like he can conquer anything and that he’s becoming a better version of himself and the best man he can be in life.
MORE: Does He Love Me? 9 Things He’ll Do If He Truly Loves You (So You Know)
As his potential partner, you inspire him and build him up. You are a positive presence in his life and shield him from the things that kill his motivation, his drive, and that bring him down. You see him for who he is, you see the good in him, and you are his rock.
Whether he knows this consciously or not, he can feel it in his gut that you are in his corner and by his side. If you’re looking for a man to say to himself, “This is the one. This is the woman I want to give myself to for the rest of my life”, you need to understand this concept of being intertwined with his inner world.
When you understand this and what he wants, you become that irreplaceable woman in his life. So few women know and understand this about men so it’s almost like a super power when you “get” it.
This doesn’t mean you are jumping up and down next to him like a cheerleader and trying to do everything for him. Men don’t want to feel weak or down and out.
What this means is that you simply pay attention to what drives him and you let him know that you “see” him. You understand him and you support him.
You support him from the side. “I noticed that you’re really good at ____” or “I’ve noticed that ____ makes you ___”. You observe and get to know what is most important to him in life.
When he feels seen by you, he will light up and his whole demeanor will change when he feels like you get him and you know him on that deeper level. At the end of the day, every man wants this one special woman who makes him feel this way.
MORE: 7 Things A Man Wants In A Serious Relationship
I hope this helped and you have a much better idea now how to tell if a guy wants a relationship long term. Whether he likes you or not, if you’re not able to overcome this huge problem every woman runs into that ends relationships then your future is doomed with him, so the next step right now is vitally important. If you’re already interested in him and you feel like he might be losing interest, going cold, or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
And even if you can overcome that problem your relationship might still be in jeopardy if you experience this very common problem that pulls men and women apart: Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…
Want to find out if he really likes you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out once and for all if he likes you…
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
- He is consistent with contact
- He integrates you into multiple layers of his life
- You are the exception to his rules
- He stays intimate after hooking up
- You are part of his future