Our Dating Culture Sucks. Here’s 15 Ways We Can Change It

Our Dating Culture Sucks. Here’s 15 Ways We Can Change It

There’s this sick game everyone plays in the dating world.

You’ve come into contact with it. How could you not?

It goes a little something like this:

“I’m going to try to act like I care less than you so that you care more, and then we switch back and forth and take turns.”

And it sucks.

It sucks to try to navigate the world of blurred lines between “labels”, “friends with benefits”, “casual”, and “kind of exclusive.”

It sucks to feel confused all the time about where you really stand.

MORE: 10 Ways to Stay Single Forever

Why do we all have to play these stupid games? Why can’t people just be honest with each other and make things simple?

“I like you. You’re cute. Let’s get a drink and talk about stupid stuff so that I can have some more time to watch you being cute.”

It seems impossible to get to that simple place because we’ve all bought into this stupid deceptive dating game.

So let’s end it. Here’s a few ways we can tear down our toxic dating culture, one person at a time:

Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out if he likes you…

Respect Every Person You Meet

This one goes number one, because it is number one.

Can’t have honesty without respect, and if you don’t respect someone enough to be honest with them, why are you even trying to date them in the first place?

MORE: Is His Reason for Not Wanting to Commit Real or Just an Excuse?

No Settling

You know where some of the most painful lies in a relationship come in? When one person doesn’t really like the other person all that much, but lies to themselves and their partner in order to keep things going.

Don’t do that. Find a person you’re unbelievably jazzed about dating, not someone you could live without.

Jealousy Isn’t A Tool

It might feel good for a moment to watch someone get jealous over you, but is it worth it?

No. It just feeds back into the toxic dating culture, and makes everyone unhappy in the long run.

Date Who you Want To Date

Stop listening to your friends. If you really like the person you met last Wednesday, who cares where they work or what car they drive. Make real connections, and forget about other people’s judgements. They don’t matter anyway.

More: We Should Bring Back These 8 Old Fashioned Dating Habits

Don’t Pretend To Care Less Than You Do

Because that game is just dumb. If you show someone you care about them and they run away, were they even worth it in the first place?

Don’t Use People

This is important. If you’re looking for casual sex, that’s fine, as long as both people know it’s just casual.

If you use someone that cares about you because you’re lonely, or looking for someone to spend the night with, or for whatever reason, you’re being toxic.

Don’t use people. It all goes back to respect.

More: Top 6 Relationship Red Flags

Don’t Ignore Your Needs

If you really want a relationship with someone but they just want to be casual, don’t drop your needs for theirs. Drop them instead.

If they don’t think you’re worth being in a relationship with, they’re not worth your time.

Take The Time To Get To Know People

Do they like Coke, or Pepsi? Are they into scary movies or more into comedies? If they could put one topping on pizza for the rest of their lives, what would it be?

The little stuff is the important stuff. Take the time to get to know people and you’ll be surprised how important it really is.

It’s OK To Be Corny

So what if texting someone to say hello first thing in the morning is a little corny, who cares?! It makes a person’s day anyway.

If you feel like surprising them with a walk through the park and a gift, go right ahead.

Don’t worry about how other people date, just do what feels natural to you.

More: 10 Unexpected Habits Of Happy Couples

Don’t Make Someone Live Up To Your Expectations

Of course, you can hope that they’re 5 star chefs with masters degrees in-between the sheets – but 99% of the time real people don’t turn out like that.

Leave your expectations at the door and learn who they really are, deep down. You’ll probably like that person better.

Go On Dates With People

I know, “drinks and whatever else” is standard practice, but it’s boring.

MORE: 5 Types of Men to Avoid Dating

You can actually still go on a date with someone and have a good time!

Just because you went to dinner doesn’t mean you’re getting married. Lighten … (continued – Click to keep reading Our Dating Culture Sucks. Here’s 15 Ways We Can Change It)

25 comments… add one
  • Ron January 6, 2017, 7:35 am

    It is the women of today that really make it very difficult as well since Most of the time they want men with Money these days unfortunately.

  • L. Openeer June 7, 2015, 11:10 am

    I get that the culture sucks, but why does it? I am going to see if I can find some papers that were written on how things changed over the decades.

  • D. Frobley June 7, 2015, 10:44 am

    Do you have any real tips that we can all learn from? What if my partner does not feel the same way about changing the dating culture?

    • D. Vincent June 7, 2015, 11:23 am

      If this is the case, I think you are finding a good reason to move along from them. You need to have similar interests.

  • Jules Brock June 7, 2015, 10:26 am

    I am going to agree with you. The culture is bad, sad as well, but there is really know way that we can change it for anyone else but ourselves.

  • Lucy Wilkins June 3, 2015, 11:43 am

    Even though our dating culture is messed up, it is something that comes with evolving times. The internet has changed so much about dating and that is something that we have to embrace or we will be left in the dark.

  • Asherman June 3, 2015, 11:29 am

    I would like to see people show exactly how much they care. I think it adds a certain level of confusion when a person makes believe that they do not care, when they actually do and that can lead people down the wrong path. That is not good for any relationship.

  • Nicole Seek June 2, 2015, 10:53 am

    You can say that again. I am 30 years old and must be the old fashion type. I only meet guys that want a piece of action and that is NOT what I am all about, at all. When I mention that to them, they freak out and are always real dicks about it. See ya!

  • Anna Gunner June 2, 2015, 10:38 am

    Very good tips. If the dating folks want to be better at it, they should be reading these for sure!

  • Sylvanna June 1, 2015, 11:43 am

    I am not going to deny that the dating culture sucks today, because it does. The issue I am seeing is with my daughters dating now. It is SO different from when I was dating their father. I try to make them realize how different it is, but they cannot see it. Makes for tough parenting choices.

  • K. Brink June 1, 2015, 11:28 am

    I am really a romantic and being corny during a date is something that I excel at. I am very humorous and I want a person that I am seeing to know that right away.

  • Joshua Bills May 24, 2015, 11:11 am

    I have been taught a lesson or two about dating over the years. It was not very easy for me to figure things out, but I think this list is a great place to start.

  • Zack May 24, 2015, 10:54 am

    I have had this argument many times. I feel that the dating life around me sucks and I can only go out on a couple dates before my partner decides things are not moving fast enough for her. Is that because she just wants some sex? Do I imply that I do not want these people and that is how they are taking it?

  • Walter M. May 24, 2015, 10:36 am

    What do you think caused this weird shift in your dating culture and how long ago do you think it started? I still like to romance my dates and make them feel like a million bucks if I am interested in them. I act like a gentleman and hope they give the feelings back.

  • Dark Lord May 24, 2015, 10:18 am

    Dating is for pansies anyways. The culture is so bad one could sit back and literally find a hundred reasons why they should NOT be dating. Just keep the hurt out of your life like I have been doing the last 20 years. Once I found out that being single fit me better, I felt much better about things. What do you think?

  • C. Dellon May 24, 2015, 10:04 am

    It is unfortunate for the younger crowds these days. The culture has been replaced with a speed dating, try to find a mate the quickest type of thought process. That creates relationships that are not long lasting and sometimes even a child that wasn’t wanted.

  • Collin G. May 24, 2015, 9:48 am

    I sometimes feel bad for the youth today. They seem to rush around with dating and relationships and that is when people get hurt, revenge happens or a child is made without planning for one.

  • Nicole Young May 22, 2015, 9:34 pm

    I have played hard to get before and attempted to show that I cared less than I do, but I soon realized that it was not worth it.

  • jeffery m. May 22, 2015, 6:41 pm

    i have been in situation where the jealousy was used as a tool. it is not fun and if you are not smart enough to get out of a relationship like that, you can really be a hurt unit in no time.

  • Kendra T. May 21, 2015, 10:43 pm

    The main point here is that these are things that WE need to do to change it. Nobody is going to be able to do this on their own and as long as everyone is on the same page, it looks like things will be better.

  • Wendy T May 18, 2015, 10:41 am

    Even though that might be the case, I think it can be changed. The problem is that society tries to change everyone. We should just be working on changing ourselves and the rest will happen at some point.

  • H. Jackman May 18, 2015, 10:27 am

    i feel like i am unable to find a date to begin with and i am getting desperate. how can i be sure i am making the right move when i find someone i feel attracted to?

    • Julia May 24, 2015, 11:26 am

      Even if this is the case, I would NOT show or say how desperate that you really are. This can give a false sense that the relationship is based on something that it is not. Good luck!

  • Warren Charles May 18, 2015, 10:10 am

    It does suck, but it is also what you make of it. I agree that the changes that you talk about are a good start. Without the changes, it is still up to you and even though it might seem like you cannot find a person that is compatible with you, you just have to stay determined.

  • Dave W. May 18, 2015, 9:35 am

    Wow, I am going to have to say this is the best list that I have seen in a long time. Even though these steps might change the culture, it will only work if everyone is on the same page.

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