What Do A Guy's Excuses Really Mean?

What Do A Guy’s Excuses Really Mean?

I get asked about guys making excuses all the time, and usually, the question is “What do his excuses really mean?

The excuse almost always varies. The most common excuses I hear are:

  • I’m really busy – I don’t have any time for a relationship.
  • I think we need more time to figure out what we want.
  • I just got out of a bad relationship… I’m afraid of getting hurt again.
  • I don’t want to get married at this point in my life… that might change later.
  • I really like you, but I don’t know whether I’m ready to be in a serious relationship.
  • You deserve someone better than me…
  • I don’t want to ruin the friendship that we have.
  • I don’t want to force anything here – let’s just stay close and see what happens.
  • I can imagine dating you someday, but I have a girlfriend right now.
  • I just need to experience what life has to offer.

Here’s What A Guy’s Excuses Really Mean

I’m going to get this out of the way straight off: all of these excuses mean the exact same thing. The actual excuse he gives you doesn’t matter. If he’s making excuses as to why he can’t be in a relationship, it really means that he’s not interested in being in a relationship with you. That might sound blunt, but if I gave you sweet sounding lies you would be stuck in the same situation weeks, months, or years from now. I want to give you the truth, so that you can move forward and have the love life you really want.

what a guy’s excuses really mean

more: Guaranteed Signs He Doesn’t Like You

Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out if he likes you…

I Want To Help You Get Unstuck From Your Current Situation

I know you don’t want to be stuck in this situation for long. A lot of women in this kind of situation are hung up on one guy and ready to do whatever he wants.

They desperately want to be in a relationship with him, and only him, and he knows it.

more: The 8 Things Every Guy Really Wants In A Woman

So a woman in this situation is stuck waiting for him to give her what she wants. And unfortunately, waiting for him to change his mind pretty much never works.

Why is that? After his “excuse” no longer applies, why doesn’t he want a relationship?

Why Do Guys Really Get Into Relationships?

This is a super important question, and the answer will clear up all the confusion you’re feeling about him.

more: How To Decipher A Guy’s Excuses

Guys don’t get into relationships because they want a relationship. Guys get into a relationship with a woman because they’re afraid of losing her.

This truth is the reason why so many women go through heartbreak and pain waiting for a man to “see the light” and start dating them.

When a guy knows a woman is totally hung up on him, he doesn’t feel any desire to get into a relationship with her.

Why? Because he can be with her whenever he wants to.

He knows that anytime he wants, she’ll be there waiting for him. She’s not pursuing other men, she’s not being pursued by other men, she’s patiently waiting for him to be “ready” for a relationship.

Meanwhile, he can pursue any woman he wants, and still be confident in the knowledge that he has her in his back pocket any time he feels like it.

more: Signs That He’s Not All That Into You

I know this sounds harsh. I know it hurts to hear. But if you don’t see the truth in favor of a more comforting lie, you wind up chasing after men who have you wrapped around their little finger, and I don’t want that for you.

I want you to have choice and power in your love life. I want you to be treated with respect by the men you’re involved with.

I want you to have a love life that makes you happy, not one that fills you with heartbreak.

So even though this sounds harsh, it’s important that you know it’s coming from a place of love.

more: 7 Excuses Guys Give When Blowing You Off

If you want to be with him, you can’t allow yourself to be wrapped around his little finger. You can’t believe his “excuses” and hope and pray that one day you’ll wind up together.


If You Really Want To Be Together, You Have To Move On First

That might sound backwards, but hear me out.

If you want to be together with him, the first thing you have to do is move on. Completely.

You have to open your mind and heart to seeing other people.

more: The Real Reasons Men Lose Interest (And How To Fix It)

That might sound crazy. It might sound like you’re ruining your chances. It might sound like you’ll drive him away.

You won’t. But I’ll tell you what will happen.

First, let me tell you the best way to move on from him.

The best possible way to move on from a guy you’re hung up on is to do things in your life that make you happy. That you’re interested in doing and that “light you up inside” when you do them.

Pursue your hobbies or pick up new ones. Work on getting in better shape, and improving yourself and your self-image.

All these things will improve your mood and your well-being. You’ll feel happier each and every day.

more: 15 Signs He’s Emotionally Unavailable

What’s The Quality That Is Most Attractive To Men?

The most attractive thing a man can see in a woman is genuine happiness. If you work on feeling happier every day, it will attract more men and more opportunities in your love life than anything else.

That’s the secret. Having options in your love life makes you more attractive than anything else you could possibly think of doing.

Having options and other people pursuing you is the biggest trigger there is when it comes to kicking a man’s behind into gear and making him chase after you.

more: How To Know (For Sure) That A Guy Really Likes You

That’s because when you’ve got options, you’re not in his back pocket anymore. In fact, when you’ve got options, he knows for a fact that if he doesn’t do something, he’s going to lose you.

That’s enough to jump start most any man’s competitive instinct and desire to date.

In fact, when he notices you’ve got other options, he’s almost guaranteed to try to pull you back to him.

Maybe he’ll send you some flirty texts, or call you one night and talk about “how much he misses spending time with you.” Maybe he’ll even hint that he might be ready to start dating “really soon”.

Whatever he does, he’s going to do the minimum – show you just a little bit of interest in order to see if you come running back to him.

If you do, nothing will change. He’ll know that he’s still got you in his back pocket and you’ll be stuck in the same situation.

But if you don’t go running back to him at the first sign that he’s interested, it’s going to freak him out.

It’s going to hit him right in the gut, deep down, that you’ve got options and that if he doesn’t step up right now, he might lose you.

And one of two things will happen.

more: Are His Dating Excuses Legit: A Male Perspective

Either he’ll decide that he’s still not interested, or he’ll decide that he does want to date you – and step up to put in the effort towards being in a relationship with you.

Either way, you win.

If he decides that he’s still not interested, that’s ok. It means that you can know deep down that it was never going to work out with him. You’ll be better off knowing for sure that things were never going to work out with this guy, and you can move on with a clear and open heart to finding a guy who will treat you the way you want to be treated.

If he decides that he wants to date you, that’s great. You’ll know in your heart that you’re getting his full effort, because you know that he knows that if he doesn’t give his best effort, you’ve got other options, and he is going to lose you.

You get to be the one who decides if he’s good enough for you, not the other way around. You get to decide whether he’s good enough or whether you’re going to date someone else.

Either way, you move forward in your love life with a huge boost to your self-esteem, an attitude that men find irresistible, and lots of different options. You gain power, positive self-regard, and choice.

That’s what I want for you. Go get it.

Want to find out if the man you want really likes you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You?” Quiz right now and find out if he likes you…

Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?

31 comments… add one
  • Amarilis April 3, 2021, 8:53 pm

    If He so busy going through stuff and wasn’t ready for a relationship then why lead me on and why tell me u like me I dislike liars it’s so inmature and he such a coward just say the truth it’s playing people feelings it’s not a game grow up

  • charrie November 17, 2016, 6:36 pm

    definitely not ready for any type of serious relationship.

  • shelby November 16, 2016, 7:29 pm

    if you think he’s really not ready for a relationship, better prepare yourself to let go the soonest and tofall too hard for him

  • tamika November 15, 2016, 4:33 pm

    doesn’t matter what men’s excuses are..take your time in doing what you love and staying happy. sooner or later the right one for you will come along ready.

  • stephie November 14, 2016, 12:02 pm

    it meas he can’t be trusted about relationships & commitments

  • rowena November 11, 2016, 2:55 pm

    only means he doesn’t want a commitment. don’t get fooled by this type of a man.

  • mickey November 10, 2016, 1:49 pm

    men should realize they only need to tell the truth

  • myra November 9, 2016, 11:06 am

    such a bad situation to be in. i hate men’s stupid excuses when all they can do is just tell the truth

  • donna November 8, 2016, 12:10 pm

    yup, you’re right! men are attracted to women who are happy inside & out. they do not want to be with women who are too clingy and needy and those who rely their happiness on men.

  • annika November 7, 2016, 1:13 pm

    this is real stuff. i mean i don’t like it when men make all those excuses, but makes sense to me.

  • via November 4, 2016, 12:52 pm

    i hate men giving all these crazy excuses

  • grace November 3, 2016, 12:44 pm

    most of these excuses just make no sense. they shouldn’t star seeing anyone if they’re not rally ready for a relationship

  • sandra November 2, 2016, 6:17 pm

    most of the guy’s excuses are just really stupid and unacceptable.

  • fatima October 28, 2016, 1:54 pm

    my man is always busy with work and it bothers me a lot. he says it’s for us and our future though

  • kylee October 27, 2016, 12:11 pm

    men are really busy creatures especially those who are dedicated to their career. it is up to a woman to understand this or misunderstand.

  • noelle October 26, 2016, 11:00 pm

    whatever the meaning, they’re still excuses for me.

  • jody October 25, 2016, 1:13 pm

    if it’s not meant to be, it won’t even work out for you two so just keep improving yourself and the right one will come.

  • karen October 24, 2016, 11:53 pm

    excuses..excuses..excuses! some men are just really full of crap

  • fanny October 18, 2016, 4:11 pm

    these are nothing but overrated excuses that we hear everytime. if he acts like this, it’ time to move on and be with a more mature guy.

  • felizia October 17, 2016, 3:37 pm

    i had a boyfriend who later on admitted that he wasn’t really ready to commit. i was relieved to know the truth bec i was startin to question myself already

  • thelma October 12, 2016, 1:09 pm

    ladies, now this is something you should be reading and learning from.

  • xandra October 11, 2016, 10:08 pm

    oh how i hate hearing excuses like these. i even tell my guy friends not to do this because it is very hurtful for a girl

  • rizalyn October 10, 2016, 8:34 pm

    why wouldn’t he be ready for a relationship when he does the dating and stuff?

  • mary kate October 7, 2016, 3:22 pm

    most men are not commitment-ready and they are in for the fun. make sure you know what type of guy you’re dating to avoid this happening to you.

  • krista October 6, 2016, 12:13 pm

    i hope men will just make up their minds in dating just so women’s feelings aren’t hurt so bad in the end.

  • nicole October 5, 2016, 2:28 pm

    “you deserve someone better” – this one’s really nonsense. so better yourself, right?!?

  • vina_gaye October 4, 2016, 3:09 pm

    i’ve had this really bad experience before. i thought we were hitting it off well but then suddenly drops the bomb by saying he’s not ready for a serious relationship. i was devastated but i guess i just to move on and be more mindful of men’s actions and character

  • rebecca October 3, 2016, 6:11 pm

    they start to see you, date you, do stuff together and after some time they just leave saying they’re not ready for a commitment. guys like this are real cowards. i hope women will be more mindful of who they date.

  • shannon October 1, 2016, 3:25 am

    i don’t understand why men can’t just say how they feel. they would rather hurt women instead of being true, it sucks

  • carmela September 30, 2016, 3:21 am

    excuses, excuses! i’m just so tired of hearing them. i have learned to move on, thanks i now know my decision is right.

  • madisson September 29, 2016, 4:35 am

    i agree! whatever the outcome might be, make yourself better and the best is to come! <3

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