I get asked about guys making excuses all the time, and usually, the question is “What do his excuses really mean?”
The excuse almost always varies. The most common excuses I hear are:
- I’m really busy – I don’t have any time for a relationship.
- I think we need more time to figure out what we want.
- I just got out of a bad relationship… I’m afraid of getting hurt again.
- I don’t want to get married at this point in my life… that might change later.
- I really like you, but I don’t know whether I’m ready to be in a serious relationship.
- You deserve someone better than me…
- I don’t want to ruin the friendship that we have.
- I don’t want to force anything here – let’s just stay close and see what happens.
- I can imagine dating you someday, but I have a girlfriend right now.
- I just need to experience what life has to offer.
Here’s What A Guy’s Excuses Really Mean
I’m going to get this out of the way straight off: all of these excuses mean the exact same thing. The actual excuse he gives you doesn’t matter. If he’s making excuses as to why he can’t be in a relationship, it really means that he’s not interested in being in a relationship with you. That might sound blunt, but if I gave you sweet sounding lies you would be stuck in the same situation weeks, months, or years from now. I want to give you the truth, so that you can move forward and have the love life you really want.
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
I Want To Help You Get Unstuck From Your Current Situation
I know you don’t want to be stuck in this situation for long. A lot of women in this kind of situation are hung up on one guy and ready to do whatever he wants.
They desperately want to be in a relationship with him, and only him, and he knows it.
So a woman in this situation is stuck waiting for him to give her what she wants. And unfortunately, waiting for him to change his mind pretty much never works.
Why is that? After his “excuse” no longer applies, why doesn’t he want a relationship?
Why Do Guys Really Get Into Relationships?
This is a super important question, and the answer will clear up all the confusion you’re feeling about him.
Guys don’t get into relationships because they want a relationship. Guys get into a relationship with a woman because they’re afraid of losing her.
This truth is the reason why so many women go through heartbreak and pain waiting for a man to “see the light” and start dating them.
When a guy knows a woman is totally hung up on him, he doesn’t feel any desire to get into a relationship with her.
Why? Because he can be with her whenever he wants to.
He knows that anytime he wants, she’ll be there waiting for him. She’s not pursuing other men, she’s not being pursued by other men, she’s patiently waiting for him to be “ready” for a relationship.
Meanwhile, he can pursue any woman he wants, and still be confident in the knowledge that he has her in his back pocket any time he feels like it.
I know this sounds harsh. I know it hurts to hear. But if you don’t see the truth in favor of a more comforting lie, you wind up chasing after men who have you wrapped around their little finger, and I don’t want that for you.
I want you to have choice and power in your love life. I want you to be treated with respect by the men you’re involved with.
I want you to have a love life that makes you happy, not one that fills you with heartbreak.
So even though this sounds harsh, it’s important that you know it’s coming from a place of love.
If you want to be with him, you can’t allow yourself to be wrapped around his little finger. You can’t believe his “excuses” and hope and pray that one day you’ll wind up together.
If You Really Want To Be Together, You Have To Move On First
That might sound backwards, but hear me out.
If you want to be together with him, the first thing you have to do is move on. Completely.
You have to open your mind and heart to seeing other people.
That might sound crazy. It might sound like you’re ruining your chances. It might sound like you’ll drive him away.
You won’t. But I’ll tell you what will happen.
First, let me tell you the best way to move on from him.
The best possible way to move on from a guy you’re hung up on is to do things in your life that make you happy. That you’re interested in doing and that “light you up inside” when you do them.
Pursue your hobbies or pick up new ones. Work on getting in better shape, and improving yourself and your self-image.
All these things will improve your mood and your well-being. You’ll feel happier each and every day.
What’s The Quality That Is Most Attractive To Men?
The most attractive thing a man can see in a woman is genuine happiness. If you work on feeling happier every day, it will attract more men and more opportunities in your love life than anything else.
That’s the secret. Having options in your love life makes you more attractive than anything else you could possibly think of doing.
Having options and other people pursuing you is the biggest trigger there is when it comes to kicking a man’s behind into gear and making him chase after you.
That’s because when you’ve got options, you’re not in his back pocket anymore. In fact, when you’ve got options, he knows for a fact that if he doesn’t do something, he’s going to lose you.
That’s enough to jump start most any man’s competitive instinct and desire to date.
In fact, when he notices you’ve got other options, he’s almost guaranteed to try to pull you back to him.
Maybe he’ll send you some flirty texts, or call you one night and talk about “how much he misses spending time with you.” Maybe he’ll even hint that he might be ready to start dating “really soon”.
Whatever he does, he’s going to do the minimum – show you just a little bit of interest in order to see if you come running back to him.
If you do, nothing will change. He’ll know that he’s still got you in his back pocket and you’ll be stuck in the same situation.
But if you don’t go running back to him at the first sign that he’s interested, it’s going to freak him out.
It’s going to hit him right in the gut, deep down, that you’ve got options and that if he doesn’t step up right now, he might lose you.
And one of two things will happen.
Either he’ll decide that he’s still not interested, or he’ll decide that he does want to date you – and step up to put in the effort towards being in a relationship with you.
Either way, you win.
If he decides that he’s still not interested, that’s ok. It means that you can know deep down that it was never going to work out with him. You’ll be better off knowing for sure that things were never going to work out with this guy, and you can move on with a clear and open heart to finding a guy who will treat you the way you want to be treated.
If he decides that he wants to date you, that’s great. You’ll know in your heart that you’re getting his full effort, because you know that he knows that if he doesn’t give his best effort, you’ve got other options, and he is going to lose you.
You get to be the one who decides if he’s good enough for you, not the other way around. You get to decide whether he’s good enough or whether you’re going to date someone else.
Either way, you move forward in your love life with a huge boost to your self-esteem, an attitude that men find irresistible, and lots of different options. You gain power, positive self-regard, and choice.
That’s what I want for you. Go get it.
Want to find out if the man you want really likes you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You?” Quiz right now and find out if he likes you…