Why do men lie?

Man Decoder: Why Do Men Lie?

Question: “I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few months now, and for the most part he’s been really good to me. He takes me out, he showers me with affection, and we get along so well…

There’s only one thing that he does that I can’t stand. He’s a liar. Like for example… the other day, he told me that he was going over to his brother’s house to help him move and pack his stuff… But I found out later on that he was actually hanging out at a sports bar with his guy friends watching a game… And I didn’t understand why he couldn’t have just told me he was watching the game rather than make up some story about helping his brother?!

The scary thing is…I think he lies to me about other things, too…I just can’t figure it out.

Listen, you deserve an honest answer about why men lie. (No pun intended).

Now, I am going to say something that might offend you, but I need you to realize the only reason I’m blunt is because you deserve to know the truth about how men really think.

No one has exposed the truth and taken you “behind the curtain” into the male psyche about why men really lie , until now.

Take The Quiz: Do You Trust Him?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Do You Trust Him” Quiz right now and find out if you really trust him…

First, I want to tell you a story to help illustrate a key point about what I am going to explain:

A lot of women do not listen.

Before you rant and rave and get upset, let me put it in context.

I once dated a woman named Trish. We had been dating for only a few weeks and I told her in the very beginning that I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I preferred dating and staying single.

In fact, every time she seemed to hint towards starting a relationship I would tell her again that no, I did not want a serious relationship.

One day, she joined me when I was out running my errands. While we were in the car, she asked me if I would like to have dinner with her parents the next night. I politely declined because I had already made plans.

This is where the “not listening” part comes in…

She immediately looked over at me, glared, and then said, “Why is it that you never want to take our relationship seriously?”

Even after I told her repeatedly that we weren’t in a relationship and that I didn’t want a relationship, she acted like my non-commitment to dinner with her parents was a complete surprise.

I said to her as gently as I could, “Listen, I don’t want a serious relationship right now. I’m not going to lead you on, so if you are only looking for a serious long-term relationship I’m not your guy. That’s it.”

“Then why have you led me on and lied to me these last few weeks?”

Honestly, I had to struggle not to raise my voice. I hadn’t lied to her and I had been very straightforward about my intentions but she chose to ignore that because she wanted a relationship and was determined to get one.

Although that was very draining for me to deal with, as I’m sure it was on her as well, I learned a valuable lesson from that experience.

Sometimes women take something a man says or doesn’t say… and selectively choose to listen to only parts of it… The parts that they want to hear. If you only listen to what you want to hear, though… and ignore the things you don’t want to hear… you may find yourself wondering “why did he lie?”

I am not saying this to be rude or to say that all women are “bad.” Hearing what you want to hear doesn’t make you a bad person.

It’s understandable. You like him and want him to like you back. You want to assume the best.

But you need to always listen to everything a guy says, not just selective parts. This will help you avoid a ton of heartbreak.

Now, I’m not saying this is what happened in your specific situation, but it is definitely the cause of many “misunderstandings” between men and women. So back to the initial question, why does he lie to you?

You have to understand that men don’t intend to lie to hurt you, unless you’re involved with a malicious sociopath. Men generally lie to smooth things over and keep an even keel in a relationship or dating situation.

Here are a few reasons:

He Thinks You’re Too Sensitive

It’s a fact that women are more in touch with their emotions and feel comfortable allowing themselves to feel the full weight of extreme feelings.

Men prefer to keep a more even and neutral emotional feeling. When he’s not sure how you’ll react, he may lie in order to keep you happy. The last thing he wants to do is trigger a flood of tears or make you upset.

He Wants To Avoid Drama

Like I said, if a guy feels like it’s necessary to lie in order to make the relationship feel easier and happier, no one wins. He is only doing that to avoid the disagreements, arguments, and potential screaming matches.

He Wants To Impress You

Maybe he’s lied about his job, his hobbies, or what he really thinks about topics you’ve brought up because he wants to show you he’s worthy of your attention, affection, and devotion.

On one hand, this seems like a compliment. He’s trying to impress you because he feels like he’s not good enough on his own for you. In reality, it’s not a compliment – it’s insecure behavior that doesn’t allow for a real foundation of a relationship to be built.

For a guy to be honest with you, he has to be secure enough in himself to know that you’ll still want him if he’s “real” with you.

He Thinks You Won’t Appreciate Him Being Honest

It takes maturity to be able to show people that you can handle and appreciate honesty. If you can show anyone, not just a guy, that you can handle their honesty, they will be honest with you more often as they learn to trust in that.

In fact, when you can show a guy it’s safe to be honest with you, he will bend over backwards to be as straightforward with you as he can possibly be.

Have you ever caught a guy in a lie and wondered why he would tell the lie in the first place? Sound off in the comments below and let me know your experiences! I read every single comment you write to me and I love having the chance to respond.

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Do You Trust Him” Quiz right now and find out if you really trust him…

Take The Quiz: Do You Trust Him?

In summary…

The Biggest Reasons Men Lie

  • He thinks you’re too sensitive
  • He wants to avoid drama
  • He wants to impress you
  • He thinks you won’t appreciate him being honest

why do men lie

93 comments… add one
  • Veronica E July 11, 2018, 3:44 am

    Hi I have a similar story to tell about me and him who I get to know via social media text and talking. Its been three years but I still cannot forget how he changed from a sweet caring guy being serious about us to an ignorant one who had time to go to Canada but not come to visit me.. Despite all the facts I highlighted -the distance between us, differences and difficulties, all bullshit he was eagered to be tge one, maybe I was just an experiment to him but how can you play with someones feelings, dreams so recklessy?? I was proud of myself for not being hurt by any guy not expecting this to happen and now I can’t stop thinking and crying about all I ever wanted in life, love, and all the pain I ve got after that! Am I going to trust someone else ever again?

  • Stephanie May 29, 2018, 6:17 pm

    It’s 2018…he hasn’t lied yet?

  • Tanya April 6, 2018, 5:16 pm

    I was dating a guy for about 3 weeks. We met online, saw each other about 3x times a week, slept together quite a few times. One day about two weeks in, he told me he was flying home to see his dad (in another state) and he would be gone from Thursday until the following Tuesday. Two days before he left, he invited me over for dinner, we had a great time. We had a discussion about dating others, he said he was not dating any one else. On Thursday, when he was supposedly flying to his home state, I happened to pull up Tinder (where we met) and I was going to send him a cute message while he was in flight instead of texting him. Well, much to my surprise, I saw he was only 4 miles from me on the Tinder app. So, I decided to take a drive by his place just because I thought that was a little strange. When I pulled in the parking lot a blond girl walked out on his deck, and shortly after, he walked out on his deck too. I was so mad, mostly that he lied to me, but of course I was a little hurt too. I texted him a picture of him and her on the deck and asked if he was having fun in South Carolina. He immediately saw me and walked back into his apartment and texted me back and told me he could explain. Long story short, he came out of his apartment and got in his car and told me to follow him. I followed him, and we parked at a gas station and he said that it was his ex-girlfriend and she was there visiting, they have no plans of getting back together so he didn’t want to tell me that she was coming. He also said her sister lives in the same area and she was staying with her sister and not him. He apologized over and over again. I, of course, don’t believe him. After I spoke to him for a few minutes, I could not deal with it anymore so I asked him to leave. He asked me if I was okay to drive, I said yes and I left.
    The hardest part about this for me is he is the only guy I have slept with since starting to date again after my last relationship and I guess I had hoped for better things for myself.
    I am having a bit of hard time comprehending why this happened and what would make a guy lie like this when he knew exactly where I stood in regard to where I was in my dating preferences, as in not wanting hook-ups. We were not in a committed relationship because neither one of us felt that we were ready to be at that point but we were enjoying each other’s company, doing things together and having sex. I can’t seem to shake this nasty feeling and I want to quit stressing about it.
    I have used some of the techniques I have learned and nothing is really helping right now. I can’t stop thinking about it.
    We had plans to do something next week, obviously I won’t be following through with those plans but I just don’t get it. If you can give me any insight this, I would greatly appreciate it.

  • Sharon March 24, 2018, 12:28 am

    My live in boyfriend took his kids on spring break. The entire time he kept telling me he was busy with the kids and could not tlk and would call me later. We spoke 3 times the whole week for less than 10 to 15 mins. He said he would call back but never would. He then told me he needed to spend as much time as he could with his kids without being interrupted. I left him alone except I called a couple times when he didn’t call me back but he would either say he was busy and would call back or he would accuse me of inferring with his time with his kids. Then come to find out when he finally got home Sunday aftermoon he was all dressed up in clothes he ever wears I ask him about this and he said he was not dressed up. Come to find out he had went out to the club with some ppl(not his kids). He also hid his phone under the mattress while he was in the shower. I found it looked through his pictures and lo and behold pictures of him and another woman holding hands. Cheek to cheek. He had some pictures with his sister. No holding hands no cheek to cheek with his sister tho. The lady he was cheeked up with he says that she is just his cousin. He also spent 600.00 dollars of mine plus 1200.00 bucks of his in 5 days but refused to tell me where the money went. And then he threatened to leave so I packed his stuff and put it in the back of his truck while he was at a safety meeting. He then came home beat me up and I have not heard from him since. Don’t know where he is or with whom. He came into the house 2 nights ago while I was at work and left me 100.00 by is and took any odds and ends he left and never said a word to me. I text him to stay out and to give me my keys back and my garage door opener but but he won’t answer nor give me my keys and opener back.

  • Alexandria Penaloza March 12, 2018, 6:55 pm

    The reaction of the comments, just proves his point! Thank you for this, cause my boyfriend will lie about petty things, and I never understood why, and he told me, he lies cause when he tells the truth I get irritated and butthurt so he lies so he spares my feelings and the drama, I realize I do get jumpy for small things sometimes, and I’m working on that and he’ll work on not lying so we can get past this flaw to our relationship, cause I know we love each other very much

  • Ida February 9, 2018, 9:08 am

    Seriously? Are you saying we don’t listen, so it’s our problem? The girl was asking one question, and you made a completely different example. And honestly your sample story sounds just a lie! What woman in earth would do what you described? If I’m looking for something serious and the guy tells me straightaway he doesn’t want the same thing I thank him and move on, next! No woman would do what you described, but I guess you needed a fake story to justify your lies.

    And to the girl asking the questions. I don’t like it. If I were you I’d confront him. Step up, make clear your boundaries, don’t be fine with his way of behaving. If he lies about those little things, think what would he do with important ones? I know it’s scary but I also know it’s heavy isn’t it? At your place I’d feel a sense of suffocation and all those stupid lies would kill me. Don’t be fine with it. All this article is a complete BS! No matter the gender, lies are never good and cannot be justified (unless someone lies because they are organizing you a surprise party!)!!!

  • Wowtothis January 3, 2018, 7:58 am

    I’m sorry, but I was offended within the first couple paragraphs of this article. Most woman don’t listen, as a primary cause of, “Why Men Lie!”, Is ridiculous. While, I do understand that scenario exists, it isn’t a primary cause. I am currently with a man, whom started fervently before “Making it Official”, did nothing but state how he IS a relationship man. He wants a relationship, family, etc. Finds porn offensive because he has young daughters from his previous relationship. He would never cheat. He did it once as a young man and the guilt ate him alive. We had a bond that couldn’t be broken. We got pregnant within the first year, my first child. And at 41 weeks, I went into labor. So fast in fact that I didn’t make it into the hospital.I was registered to. I had to stop at the closest maternity ward, just to find out I was crowning already. Long story short, she was wrapped so severely in the cord that each “push” her heart would stop. And she passed shortly after birth from loss of oxygen. We were devestated. We both were heartbroken. He promised to never leave my side. If I wanted to try again or if I didn’t, he was there. He would never leave me. He wanted to get married. Etc…then after all that, the real “person” emerged. A few months later, my phone was dead, so I innocently use his to look something up, and in the search bar in a porn site popped up. He swore it was one time. But, I looked back further, and it had been going on since a week after our daughter passed. He even put a profile up on a sex page, picture and all. Forgave him, as he stated he was just curious. I knew it was BS but I forgave. A year later, we moved out of a roommates house rather abruptly and illegally, after paying our rent and not being paid for my nannying of their young child. Not understanding why he allowed this to happen, I began to recap the past few months. The lady we were living with and I was nannying for kept trying to get us to fight. Turns out, they slept together ONCE so she had a video (yes a hidden camera) that would ensure she could kick us out or else she’d show me the video. She extorted him to avoid paying me for 12 hours a day of care for a 3 year old and a 3 month year old preemie. That same day, I found out I was pregnant. So, I made the decision to stay and try to work it out. But, his lies have increased. I find more image searches for pornographic pictures. Money mysteriously comes up “missing” without an explanation. And every single time I confront him, he turns it on me. I have told him he MUST make up for his infidelity, show me his remorse, relieve the stress I am feeling from the whole situation and being in a high-risk pregnancy. But, he does for two days, then the behaviour begins. He lied to get me. He lies non-stop. I gave him opportunities out. Prior to cheating. He says only I can make him leave. So, this whole theory of not listening is nonsense. I told him. Don’t worry about my feelings and to choose. He doesn’t. It’s like I fell for a perfect man who turned into a habitual liar. I stay because I am hoping once he meets his baby, our second but first living, he will see. But, he constantly says I deserve better, but then treats me like I am at fault whenever I catch him.and won’t explain why he makes these promises if he knows he is just going to break them. So, in all, I think men lie because they have been told that certain behaviour is acceptable for men…they look at sex differently than woman. They can have sex without emotions. That it’s in their nature to look. Etc. Etc. Etc. And, it is articles like this that make men justify their actions. There are plenty of me that can be faithful, that look at sex as an emotional act, that don’t find it natural to look at anyone other than the person they love, and on and on and on. Men have been told for so long that they see sex completely opposite of the way women do. Is false. There are men out there that are faithful, honest and loyal and would die to have a woman that’ll be as loyal, in return. Without lying.

  • Nutz December 30, 2017, 10:30 am

    i have been in a relationship since 1 year.. after one year i came to know that my bf had lied to me many times about his female friend. he had a good friend one month before he and i got into a relationship. bt due to some reasons i asked him to stay away from her and he agreed to it. bt now i came to know that he went to her house on her bday to wish her and they have chatted on social media without me being informed many times. and my bf even flirts with her sometimes.. isnt this wrong. there isnt any place for lies in a true relationship..

  • Ms sunshine December 8, 2017, 7:21 am

    Thats how men truely are what do we do i think they should jxt all go 2 hell

  • Amber November 7, 2017, 12:53 am

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years and I’ve recently been catching him lying. A few times he has said he’s going to work, but really goes to hang out with his friends. Is this normal? I’m worried he’ll continue to lie, and possibly about worse things. It makes me feel extremely insecure. But I’m trying to cut him slack, as we are currently dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he is feeling stressed and overwhelmed and that is what’s causing the irregular behavior, but I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do. We have never really had any trust issues in our relationship, so I’m confused as to why this is happening now.

  • Molly November 3, 2017, 8:13 am

    I also live with a lier about his ex how much she texts and calls his finances I don’t know why but he is ruining our relationship he made the commitment to live with me I don’t know what or how to deal we have a great relationship besides his lied

  • Adonis August 24, 2017, 1:49 pm

    Even after reading this I am still stumped I am only friends with a guy and he constantly lies to me about everything. I have no intentions of taking it further but he says I am the one for him and he wants to spend his life with me while he is still dating other women and he lies to me about it. So what is that about?

  • yunomefam July 6, 2017, 3:03 am

    Women really do listen. Men perceive it wrong. For instance, if the guy tellls a woman that he’s not looking for a relationship, but he’s open to getting to know her and possibly having all the quirks of a relationship, and she knows this but tries her hardest to woo him, then it’s not an act of ignorance, just her showing an act of feelings that won’t just go away over night. This whole “women don’t listen” this is soo one-sided.
    If you ask me, it’s men who don’t listen. Whether he’s in or out of a relationship. Sometimes it’s like they don’t understand the immediate problem and where it lies. For instance, if a woman wants her man to be faithful and/or truthful, yet here he is, still doing things that doesn’t lie in that category – in fact, the complete opposite of what his woman wants, and when she gets mad and tries to specify how she feels by verbal communication, he shuts her out and/or is determined to make it seem like she’s the problem. Hence why women don’t speak a lot when we are angry or upset or hurt or whatever the feeling may be.

  • Jana April 17, 2017, 5:37 pm

    I see guys lie because they don’t wanna feel offended as well.

  • Am April 17, 2017, 3:54 pm

    I have been dating a guy for almost 7 months now that I met online. He’s divorced with two children/teenagers from his wife. He since has moved to MN from CA to work. He’s 7 years older than me and pretty calm and collected. We have still never spent a full night together and he lied about the SPELLING of his name although the pronunciation is still the same. I just found out a couple months ago and still can’t wrap my head around this lie and find out the truth of why he would lie about only the spelling. He also claimed to be Native American and his fb profile said Filipino he since did genetic testing and he’s 0% Native but all kinds of other ethnicities including Korean, African American and Caucasian. Can you help me decode this. Yes I have left him several times but since we never had an official title besides the one time he told me he called me his girlfriend to a buddy there is nothing to leave and he’s such a nice and kind person I feel ok keeping things going as friends even when I know that we will end up in bed again and again.

  • Alex March 21, 2017, 4:44 pm

    I never did anything with him him but sex talk I had not given him a blow job because him being married bothered me and turned me on at the same time . He was promoted so now he does my schedule I’m not interested in him anymore because he’s a liar over the smallest things . But blow jobs are never a thing I withhold I give them like three times a day or more I’m always horny to give them and I dated baseball players honestly when he came home he didn’t even have time to take the cup out from playing baseball I was on my knees already …. So thanks for the tip had I given this loser who’s wife does NOT give him blow jobs or do anything kinky with him lol believe me I would be venting some other sort of stuff .

  • Alex March 21, 2017, 4:37 pm

    Actually I was just send from vixen daily how to give blow jobs ? I actually am known for my blow jobs I can’t get rid of the guys of dated because of the blow jobs even when I’m acting crazy they won’t leave me because of the BLOW JOBS :) ok the comments I sent down below have nothing to do with a significant other . If I had given him head you think I would have vented here ? No he would be putty in my hands . This is a man that lied . A a man that’s married . Something I never do – married but for some strange reason I was attracted to him sexually . But because I know how to ruin a moment I’m a Gemini instead of getting him hooked I told him he was a cheater and he lied about the littlest stuff which like he’s older . We were just co workers talking dirty to each other . Giving head is actually my favorite favorite thing to do . I do it on the first date if I’m attracted to you and I swallow ! I like reading stuff out of curiosity but that’s it . I’m a bit paranoid because I sometimes vent when I usually don’t need to but in this losers case I’m right . So keep the reading material coming vixen daily but giving blow jobs is NOT one if my problems I have had the best most beautiful dicks in my mouth I even know how to deep throat . It’s my favorite thing to do when I’m not giving my whomever I’m dating blue balls by just being a bitch I’m giving those blow jobs to tide them over ? So I’ll read it but giving HEAD is NOT my problem . I love giving it I find girls weird that don’t .

  • Alex March 19, 2017, 12:02 pm

    Please respond I appreciate all opinions and comments as well . He still is saying I have to seek help ? Lol he said it was my brother you were talking to all along and he’s saying the person I sent there to interview with him is lying ? She’s a Sagittarius she doesn’t lie and when I asked her didn’t know my vested interest . She fell into my trap and told me everything . Plus I saw it he still says no your wrong she is not my type but he gets all flustered around her and he even protects her when I call her names . Sorry.

  • Alex March 18, 2017, 11:14 am

    It’s pretty sad that a man feels he has to lie to someone he’s on the phone with three times a day and sometimes all night into the morning ? I’m not his girlfriend or wife we are close and sexually attracted to each other . But there’s this girl in the office that no one finds attractive that gives him attention I hear they are all over each other and when I mention her he says yuck or does the gag me noise ? Then I send someone there for a job and she says they were flirting and the whole three hours she was there ? I told him this girl likes him he said no no no like why are you so smart ? Why can’t this be my secret ? The person I sent to him for a interview said he was like all flustered around her it was just conformation for what I know . Now I tell him and he says I need mental help ? That I’m crazy . And that I don’t know him . I do know him he’s a sex maniac Taurus and he projects he’s this nice kind person but he’s mean and a bully especially since I’m smart and told him all the times I saw when I was at the office the stuff going on . He said not true show proof . I’m like what I saw and the girl I sent to you sent text after text of what was happening . You said this idiot was ” yuck ” and now you are finding her attractive ? He flirts with her because he knows she wants and will have sex with him . He can have sex with her all night and still be able to please his wife and anyone else he’s insatiable like most Taurus men . His cruelty about me needing a mental help because I told him EVERYTHING I knew which I can’t believe he denied and it’s true reminds me of hitler ? Another Taurus . Mind you in very close to this person we have talked about everything I’m the person he stays on the phone with for two hours before work that maybe I’m just there for him to talk to just in case she doesn’t show up for work and he has to maintain the what ifs with what she could be doing . Mind you there is nothing spectacular about this girl her and I are both geminis so in sure she will do everything I would have done and she acts sprung out in him and like office sex always happens and in this office the manager of the office sleeps around will not fire them for it . He now refuses to call me because I’m right and he knows it he hangs up when I bring up all the incidences and refused to say ok I lied because I liked talking to you and wanted to do stuff with you eventually but she gets me hot and bothered at work too and I feel I can handle you both and you aren’t ok with that so since I’m with her 8 hours I choose her .

  • Emilia February 23, 2017, 10:32 am

    I’ve been seeing this guy for months. We’re in this “we’re just dating” kind of status. i knew he can’t stay in a monogamous relationship. And I perfectly understand that. That’s why I don’t commit to him. I appreciate his honesty about it. I knew he’s been seeing other women and I don’t mind when he tells me that. Until, one day he made up some story that he’s going somewhere to attend a Christening. I later found out that he met a woman and some friends for a day at the beach. Him, meeting and dating other women is not surprising. I’m used to hear his stories. But this one, for some reason he wanted to hide from me. Why? I don’t understand. I wish he could have just told me coz I wouldn’t really mind. What i don’t like about it is that he lied, when in all occasions he’s been honest. I’m totally hitting my head on this one.
    I appreciate your reactions. Please feel free to express your opininion.

  • Dana January 31, 2017, 4:52 pm

    I havent had a soda all day. I came home and the hubby had a nice cold bottle on his night stand. Of course i grab it to take a drink. And it tastes like vodka is mixed in. Mind you about 1/3 of it is already gone. He tells me it tastes funny right?? Im like yeah. Expecting him to say he added something. But he didnt. He said he doesnt know why it tastes the way it does. And pours it out after he takes another drink from it. Trash day was this morning. He took it upon himself to take out all the trash in the house. ?? Only makes me question him. I grew up with alcoholic parents. So im not to fond of it but i have nothing against it. The only time its been a problem is when he over drinks. At one point we had a bottle of vodka and i had maybe 2 drinks out of the whole thing. I just dont know what to think. He has been coming home smelling of alcohol. But ive said nothing. I know he is undrr stress as am i but to lie to me. When im always honest. Even when i feel he might get upset … i still tell him. Honestly , im just disappointed. 10 years together and we still have these issues.

    • Terence February 23, 2017, 4:33 pm

      He probably doesn’t want you to over react or think he is becoming alcoholic because you might leave him. In which case, probably means he is insecure about it or not confident in the strength of your relationship to be able to be honest. However, I’m no expert so don’t take my word for it.

  • Elise January 22, 2017, 9:40 am

    Me: Are you married?
    Him: I’m married to the money.
    Me: Seriuosly? You can tell me the truth.
    Him: No. I’m planning to fly you out of town with me in March so you can see I’m not lying.

    Then I see his so called ex on facebook saying their married.

  • C W October 17, 2016, 4:11 am

    My hubby has always been an “I only have eyes for you” guy from the beginning, which I questioned a lot… from all his female facebook friends/flirts and dating sites he was on… Nonetheless, I chose to “believe” him (overlook it). Well, now I found evidence of my husband having looked at scantily clad women online, via history and downloads. I don’t even remember what caused me to check that anyway, since I don’t remember the last time I did. It’s not something I do regularly or whatever. The point is, it is (I mean WAS) all there in black and white, and he still blatantly lied to my face about it all. What’s up with that?

    • Terence February 23, 2017, 4:41 pm

      He is insecure about his desire to look at other woman and so he lied to you to get your approval. Relationships can only thrive on honesty and accepting each other’s true selfs. If your values don’t align then maybe you should think about the relationship ship. That’s my theory.

  • May D. August 26, 2016, 2:56 am

    he lied to me about his marital status. i just found it out on facebook and i asked him about it and that was the only time that he told me the truth. He said that he was just too afraid that i will not accept him like the past gf he had. he was cheated on by the last gf with another guy why they are still in the relationship and dumped him after knowing the truth.

  • Bev August 12, 2016, 1:24 pm

    Well i caught my “man”on Facebook with a ton of female friends. And he was talking to one about i don’t no what but he liked her well i seem her face pop up on messenger and even tho i saw it and he no i did he’s still lying till this day and had the nerve to say its a manikin. But i no she’s real because she freinded me not knowing who I was but anyway ive busted him again in the most personal way and he’s still lying and says he loves and wants to be with me and he’s not a liar even tho o no he is he said some one hacked his page ane is accepting friends for him but i no thats not true why do the lies keep coming

  • Kylie July 13, 2016, 5:51 am

    I dated a guy once who I fell for. Everything was great between us & there was a special something there until he got cold feet. My ex told me that he had a heap of kids so I asked him & his reply was that his ex wife has 3 before they met. Anyway after it ended I found out that he had 5 children to his ex wife plus she had an additional 2. I couldn’t understand why he had lied especially the adhoc 3 kids part. What really upsets me is all that time I thought I wasn’t enough but I guess it was him that had insecurities.

  • Elizabeth June 20, 2016, 7:46 pm

    Well im with my husband for 2 years but now him for about 4 years i have a child for him and i just found out dat he had 2 girls on his laps and if i didnt found out for my slef he would even tel me. I aked him if it was tru he said yes and asked him y did u even told me. We argued and argues but he seemed as if he was right wat he had done. What should i do? Im very confused about it. Dont know if i should leave or move on. He like playing pool but im afraid he goes and say im going to play pool and do the same thing agen so anybody have any idea what i should do.

  • Amy May 21, 2016, 6:35 pm

    My fiance lies about calling random sex shops. After hounding him about it I get the response of I just wanted to see who was working. I call bs. I confronted him numerous times getting a promise he’ll stop. Even up til last month he was calling. And stupidly using my house phone where I see all the activity. Then I find out he paid for tokens to tip people for having sex or masturbating on live cameras. So now to me he’s cheating in a new form. I then discovered he’s still got his plenty of fish account active when he lied telling me he forgot the password. Oh and let’s not forget the response to a Craigslist ad I found less than a month after the proposal asking how much for sex. But bc I find this he deleted that email account in order to put it in the past. Only to deny the response to the post. And back in the beginning of our relationship he posted an ad wanting people to listen to him jerk off. I think he’s either cheating for real or has some seriously sick porn addictions and I’m deathly afraid he’s still lying to me.

    • Amy February 11, 2017, 4:50 am

      This sounds really familiar but mine tells me he is looking for me he thinks I post my self and I hide it. What really sucks is sometimes the pictures he thinks are me are usually of really ugh people and it is making my life hell because some how by the time the argument is over I am the one in the wrong.

  • Ms scorpio April 27, 2016, 1:49 am

    Men think they slick trying to play and think they’re messing with a stupid bitch.. but end up playing themselves.. I currently have true feelings for someone and he met lie about everything but if he wanna play me lol i say good luck with that !!!.; I say if he wants to be all lovely dovey to his other spouse ..then be it cuz at the end of the day men are gonna be men.. he said he don’t want A relationship.. ok … Then give him that… Easier for everyone.
    I ain’t thirsty and sooner or later I gotta Go… I will GO !! He can lie all he wants that’s he’s KARMA.. *Good luck to him cuz no-one is gonna love him like I do and definitely he’s gotta have to find 2 bitches to do what I do in bed … ✌

  • Ms scorpio April 25, 2016, 8:23 pm

    Men think they slick trying they’re messing with a stupid ass.. but end up playing themselves.. I have true feelings for someone and he met lie about everything but if wanna play me lol good luck !!!.; if he want to be lovely dovey to his other then be it cuz at the end of the day men are gonna be men.. he said he Don’t he don’t want A relationship.. ok …give him that… Easier.
    I ain’t thirsty and sooner or later I gotta Go… I GOTTA GO !! He can lie all he wants but good luck to him cuz no-one is gonna love him like I do and definitely he’s gotta have to find 2 bitches to do what I do in bed … ✌

  • Ms scorpio April 25, 2016, 8:14 pm

    Men think they slick trying they’re messing with a stupid ass.. but end up playing themselves.. I have true feelings for someone and he met lie about everything but if wanna play me lol good luck !!!.; if he want to be lovely dovey to his other then be it cuz at the end of the day men are gonna be men.. he said he Don’t he don’t want A relationship.. ok …give him that… Easier.
    I ain’t thirsty and sooner or later I gotta Go… I GOTTA GO !! He can lie all he wants but good luck to him cuz no-one is gonna love him like I do and definitely he’s gotta have to find to bitches to do what I do in bed … Deauces.

  • RJS March 9, 2016, 11:48 pm

    WHAT HAPPENED TO HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY?

    ME TO JOHNNY – ‘ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH JANE?

    HE SAYS TO ME:
    “I AM HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH JANE. I AM IN MY WORLD AND SHE IS IN HER WORLD.”

    THEN A FEW DAYS LATER I SEE JANE POSTING ON FACEBOOK RESPONDING TO ONE OF HER FRIEND ABOUT A PARTY – “YES, ME AND MY MAN JOHNNY WILL BE ATTENDING THE PARTY.

    WHAT DO YA’LL THINK ABOUT THAT???

  • ally February 19, 2016, 8:55 am

    It’s very simple to me , men admire another man’s ” Game ” if a guy is with his mates and lies to his GF in front of them they high five him and call him a legend ? it is seen as being a great hunter/ predator and something to aspire to.
    when a woman does the same her female mates will see her as someone dishonest and will call her out on this ? so is it nature or nurture ?
    things are changing in this regard however as women are becoming hunters/predators in their working lives , they now adopt the same values and many women now admire each others ” game ” my friend was dating a guy for 6 months without telling him she had a 2 year old child , she said she didn’t think he was a ” keeper ” so she was happy to just enjoy what they had for a while ? maybe she thought he was too sensitive to handle the truth or it would create drama ??

  • Kristin February 7, 2016, 6:28 pm

    He went out to a club, but denies it.

  • David Godwin December 18, 2015, 5:46 pm

    Any MAN that is willing to lie to his partner is also lying to himself and does not deserve the person he is with.

  • Mary Griffith December 18, 2015, 5:35 pm

    There is no excuse for lying and there is no reason to sit around and worry about the reason someone did it.

  • Gloria Lane December 17, 2015, 4:49 pm

    This is probably the worst article for me to read at this time. I just got into a new relationship and things are going “good”. Aren’t they always going good right before they are not?

  • Evelyn White December 16, 2015, 1:04 pm

    Cuz they are jerks.

    • Frances Barrow December 17, 2015, 4:58 pm

      LOL, pretty simple!

  • Martha Elliott December 15, 2015, 9:59 am

    I have been in relationships where the words get twisted around and end up making things worse then they were to begin with.

  • Brenda Griffith December 14, 2015, 9:36 am

    Men lie for the same reasons that every one else does. They think they can get away with something and most of the time it is not even worth the lie.

  • Minnie Fletcher December 12, 2015, 11:22 am

    People are hard to trust to begin with. If you find your guy lying to you, it has to be addressed right away~!

  • Diane Slape December 9, 2015, 9:09 am

    Anyone that lies is just being dishonest to themselves and ruining the lives of another person and that is not a good thing.

    • Ethel Burkes December 15, 2015, 10:09 am

      They are ruining more than a relationship, they are making themselves look bad and untrustworthy.

  • April Miles December 8, 2015, 11:00 am

    Men lie because they can. When you put a stop to that right away, it will stop happening. If you find a guy that does not see the consequences of lying, it is time to move along.

  • Rubye Garcia December 7, 2015, 7:28 am

    When there is NO relationship, there is nothing to worry about. I can’t understand why woman are that way.

  • Helen Greene December 6, 2015, 11:21 am

    It might take me a while to figure it out, but I WILL know if a guy is lying to me.

    • Rosanne Judkins December 12, 2015, 11:34 am

      I would hope so, or the guy is going to be pulling one over on you all the time.

  • Cathleen Hill December 4, 2015, 9:16 pm

    I hate liars so it is real bad when it is someone that is supposed to love and care about you.

    • Luella Degroot December 7, 2015, 7:39 am

      I agree. This is one thing that will end any type of relationship with me.

      • Miranda Gore February 12, 2016, 11:25 am

        It’s definitely a relationship killer. I don’t care how sensitive I may act, it doesn’t constitute being lied too. Just tell me the truth and let me decide if I want to continue dealing with you.

  • Christena Warren December 2, 2015, 11:40 am

    I try hard to be honest with every one in my life, so I do not tolerate lying in my relationships. If I catch a lie, I am going to call you out on it because I feel that is the fair thing to do.

    • Kathleen Bowie December 14, 2015, 9:46 am

      That is a very good goal, Christena. There are many people that wish they could do this.

    • Miranda February 12, 2016, 11:26 am

      Christena and you should…

  • Bob Dorton December 1, 2015, 12:30 pm

    I try hard not to lie. I am in a committed relationship and told myself that is one thing that I am not going to do. However, there is always a slip up here and there. Still working at it.

    • Rachel Mooney December 6, 2015, 11:32 am

      thank you for sharing that bob. Good luck in your venture!

  • jarm13 June 1, 2015, 8:03 am

    i like this article..
    why do men lie?specially to their girlfriend?like for example..my bf and his ex are still friends ryt now..then it happen that my boyfriend is spending time to celebrate his ex gf birthday!yes!and its killing me when i see it on the mobile upload of his ex in facebook!i seem to understand but i told him just beyond limits..and he knows what i feel.but why he do that!?

    • Charles Amaya December 1, 2015, 12:40 pm

      This type of guy is not worth your time. You should also be willing to confront the person and ask him what he deal is. Then kick him to the curb and get a real man!

  • MARYKATE May 23, 2015, 8:26 am

    I DON’T REALY KNOW HOW TO PUT THIS.IM A STUDENT AND I GO TO VISIT MY BOYFRIEND AS OFTEN AS I CAN,WE HAVE SEX ALL THE TIM

    • Helen Torres November 30, 2015, 9:35 am

      Well, what problems are you having? I mean it sounds like there are things that are happening the right way, do you think he is lying to you?

  • Nica May 4, 2015, 1:44 pm

    Well, i guess what youve said is true. Guys do lie because theres a reason behind it. Guys think about their partners or bout our relationship with them before they lie. The reason is not to hurt us (even though they dont know that theyre already hurting us) or they do it for themselves (for you not to leave him; he doesnt want you to split up with him because of the wrong thing he did). But if you will explain to him that you want him to be honest with you. He’ll do it for you. Relationships need communication and understanding for it to work and for the two of you to earn trust.

  • Amrita May 3, 2015, 4:05 pm

    My boyfriend is a big liar.not only me he lies to each and every person around him even when it is completely unnecessary. Lying is in his blood. But I know him very well.he is a nice person.loves me very much. The only problem in him is he wants to keep each and every person happy. For instance if I or his family don’t allow him to do something which can put him into trouble he will definitely do it to make someone happy who actually wants to harm him.and for this he wil lie to me as well as his family.he only tells the truth when we have a big quarrel arond that lie and i threaten him to leave him.but it is not possible all the time.i am now fed up of all this and just don’t have any clue how to handle him.

  • Shiela April 28, 2015, 5:35 am

    Most men use this line when they lie specially when you caught them cheating or lying because of another girl whether it’s his friend or ex “I just don’t want to hurt you” or “because you will be upset” all those excuses are bullshit. A honest and a real man will never lie even they know it will hurt his partner. It’s easier to forgive when you know he cheated once than lied that he cheats on you it will put you on a doubt if how many times he cheated on you.

  • Rekha Chettri April 15, 2015, 1:00 am

    I feel that men are not as tough as they appear to be. Sometimes, they do things they are not supposed to do. They realise that it can’t be undone so lie to avoid arguments… In fact they wish their lie to be the truth.

    • Chocolate February 12, 2016, 11:28 am

      I agree.

  • Clara April 8, 2015, 10:38 am

    I am not sure if anyone is really ever going to know the answer to this. There are many reasons that a person would lie and even though I think that none of them are good ones, you just never know.

    • Mary Meador December 2, 2015, 11:50 am

      The worst part of this whole thing is that each person is different, so one reason might not be what the reason is for another person.

  • Marty T. April 7, 2015, 11:57 am

    I like it when woman think that their man does not lie :) There is always one lie, even if it is small, always one. Don’t be delusional, that makes it worse.

    • Joseph Martinez November 30, 2015, 9:47 am

      I agree with marty. There is always going to be the white lie, so do not think that there isn’t something that he might be hiding.

  • Hope Fintleman April 3, 2015, 4:39 pm

    wants to avoid drama? that is not a good reason at all to lie. men lie mostly because they do not want to get caught doing something they should not have been doing!

  • MaskedRobber March 25, 2015, 5:22 pm

    LOL. That is like trying to figure out why a pig rolls in the mud. Its just one of those things that you never really get a comfortable answer to.

  • ItsBad21 March 21, 2015, 10:35 am

    The bad thing about when men lie is the fact that once you catch them in one, you are not sure what they have NOT lied about in the past. That can be the most detrimental thing to a relationship, regardless of how long you have been together.

  • Genuine! March 21, 2015, 10:25 am

    “Listen, I don’t want a serious relationship right now. I’m not going to lead you on, so if you are only looking for a serious long-term relationship I’m not your guy. That’s it.”

    Pretty easy way to put it….nicely. I am guess that most guys do not take this approach and make themselves appear a little more like a dick.

    • Cristal Carpenter December 9, 2015, 9:20 am

      Yeah, that is an easy way to put it. However, if you are dating someone that would rather be in a serious relationship, do them a favor and move on.

  • SanFran Sam March 13, 2015, 11:02 am

    I am not sure that you will ever know an answer to something like this. Everyone has their own reasons, whether they are “good” ones or not is not the point. Talking to each other about things like this can really clear things up the way they should be.

  • LakersRock March 10, 2015, 11:54 am

    Is is a surprise that some woman dont listen? It goes the same for men as well, so dont feel offended. Its just that sometimes they are talking more than they are listening and that can become a problem.

    • Thomas Lorenzo December 4, 2015, 9:05 pm

      It is not any surprise to me that either sex does not listen, especially when they are not interested.

  • Girlygurl March 6, 2015, 2:01 pm

    not making any excuses, but does he maybe not think the relationship is as big of deal as you do? maybe even a little “white” lie here and there is nothing to worry about?

    • Karan March 25, 2015, 12:46 pm

      They lie because they are all real big jerks! Don’t you think?

  • Krista March 2, 2015, 12:44 pm

    A lie is a lie and 1 is usually followed by more. That is the tough thing to figure out. You might want to know why he lied to you, but then you are thinking about all of the other things that you might have been lied to about in the past.

  • Keenan March 1, 2015, 7:21 pm

    This might be the one thing that will never be known 100%. Everyone lies for there own reasons and there is always another person that finds the reasons bad ones to lie for, right?

    • Becca March 31, 2017, 3:18 am

      He lied about going to a weekend class, said he was standing outside one of the buildings, then an hour later I realize the timing makes no sense and he admits he met a friend from back home. They went to a party and a game. But he’s done this before and told me and I was sad but I made an effort. It was harder now because I didn’t see it coming and think if he isn’t doing anything wrong he shouldn’t be hiding. But he also went to the strip club the night before and is secretive with his phone. Because I caught him before. So I know why he’s hiding

  • Wendy K. February 27, 2015, 10:57 am

    Could some men feel that a white lie is nothing like a big deal? Do they lie to cover their tracks or do they think they are protecting their spouse? I guess everyone is different and that is going to offer up different reasons why they lie. It really comes down to how you would handle it if you were lied to.

  • Frannie A. February 25, 2015, 7:28 pm

    Guys lie because they’re scared. They’re big scared babies who when the truth is hard to say just lie about it because they can’t handle doing hard things. Babies. I wish there were real men out there who weren’t afraid to tell the truth even when it’s hard to say.

    • Dianne Anderson December 16, 2015, 1:12 pm

      Maybe. I might be able to see this excuse for SOME of the time, but I have known men that just lie because that was apparently the way they were brought up.

  • Kallie February 24, 2015, 4:21 pm

    No matter what, it will not be easy to tell if someone is lying to you. Yeah the tips are good ones, but you could also jump to conclusions and look like the ass.

    • Darcy T. April 5, 2015, 11:19 am

      This is very true! You have to be careful and do your detective work before you make that accusation.

  • Renee P. February 3, 2015, 6:32 pm

    OK but what if the man I’m dating lied to me but it was just one time? And he says he’ll never lie again? My heart wants to believe him but my brain is telling me that he’s just going to play around on me again. I’m always worried that he’s lying to me, doesn’t that mean that I should leave him? Or can a man really change and start telling the truth?

  • Kendra M. February 2, 2015, 3:20 pm

    my man NEVER lies to me. i dated guys who lied cheated slept around so glad i finally found a man that tells me the TRUTH.

    • Bonnie White December 8, 2015, 10:50 am

      That is good news to hear. It is hard to find a person that is so honest.

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