You’re here because you’re looking for signs that he’s never going to settle down with you.
It’s a scary thought. What if you’ve been putting your eggs into a basket with a hole in the bottom? What if he’s not the settling down type – what should you do?
Don’t worry – I’m here to help.
First off, I want to say that although I know it can be really painful to think he might never settle down with you, I promise you that if that’s actually the case, it’s better to know now than know later.
more: Signs He’s Never Going To Commit
No matter how long you’ve been with him, you don’t want to be kicking yourself one, three, five years down the line, wishing you had listened to the signs earlier and gotten out before too long.
So in this article, I’m going to give you the biggest signs that he’s not ever going to settle down with you.
One or two might be ok… but if he’s giving you more than a few of these signs you should think seriously about listening to them and re-evaluating your future with him.
Without any more intro, here are the top signs:
The Top Signs He’s Never Going To Settle Down With You
1. He Hates Labels And Avoids Them
Guys who are skittish about labels are skittish about commitment.
more: Why Won’t He Commit To Me?
If it was an absolute battle to get him to even call you his girlfriend (or if he’s still refusing to when the situation warrants it), it foreshadows exactly what to expect with him in the future.
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Going To Commit?
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s going to commit to you…
If a guy is going to settle down with a woman, he’s going to do it because he’s excited to be with her and wants to settle down.
So if he’s dragging his feet on even putting labels on the relationship, it means he’s not that excited about it – which means it’s not a good bet to count on him wanting to settle down.
2. He Downplays Your Relationship In Public
Like in #1 – guys who are going to settle down with you are going to be excited to do it.
more: The Best Ways To Make Him Commit To You
You can’t be in a true long lasting relationship with a guy who doesn’t really want to be there. So if he’s not excited, it’s harder to make it last.
And if he’s downplaying how serious your relationship is when he’s in public or talking to friends, that says he’s not proud of being with you – which on its own feels awful and definitely means he’s not excited about the relationship.
A guy who isn’t proud to be with you is a guy who’s not going to settle down for the long haul.
3. You Don’t Have The Same Life Goals
Maybe you want to live in the country and he’d rather be in the city. Maybe he’s looking to have kids down the line, but you don’t want them.
Maybe he wants to move back to his hometown, but you want to travel all around the country and the world.
more: The Top Signs You’re With An Emotionally Unavailable Guy
When two people make the decision to settle down together, they need to have a common vision of the future and a common vision of what they want.
If what you want for your life and what he wants are mutually exclusive and wouldn’t work together, it means that sooner or later you’re going to run into real problems, and that it’s going to be really hard to settle down together.
4. You Don’t Trust Each Other
Good relationships are built on trust, period. You can’t have a good relationship without mutual trust in each other.
more: Big Signs You’re Dating A Commitment-phobe
So if he doesn’t trust you, or you don’t completely trust him, it’s a really bad sign for the future of your relationship.
Obviously, trust doesn’t grow overnight. If you haven’t been together for that long, there’s no need to panic if you don’t completely trust each other yet.
But if you’ve been with each other for long enough for trust to grow, and it hasn’t… it’s a bad sign for your long term prospects.
5. He Never Wants To Talk About The Future
Guys don’t get tricked into settling down. They don’t fall into it by accident.
Settling down isn’t something that happens unless both people are excited and ready to take that step together.
more: 4 Foolproof Ways To Make Him Commit
So if he’s hostile whenever you bring up the future, and he never wants to plan anything in the future with you or talk about where your relationship is going, it’s a really bad sign.
It means he’s not thinking of settling down with you – and he’s hostile towards even hearing the question.
6. He Doesn’t Take His Future Seriously
If you want a future with a guy, it’s important to imagine what type of future that’s going to be and decide whether it’s what you’re interested in.
For instance, if he doesn’t have a job and he’s not looking for one, that means he’s headed towards a future that’s much like the present.
more: The Biggest Signs He Doesn’t Like You
Are you interested in that? Even if you are, do you think he’s going to get his act together enough to even settle down with you?
If he doesn’t have the maturity or the drive to try to find a job, it says bad things about his ability to really commit to you and settle down with you.
7. You Can’t Be Yourself Around Him (And Vice Versa)
One of the things you see in nearly every single good relationship is that both partners are able to be completely authentic with each other.
more: The Top Signs He’s Not That Into You
In fact, that’s one of the most important ingredients in any good relationship. It just feels really, really good to show someone your true self and have them like and celebrate it – and feel the same way about their authentic self as well.
That more than anything else is what gets a guy excited about a woman, and gets him really thinking about seriously settling down with her.
So if you’re not able to be your true self around him, and you sense that he has to wear a “mask” rather than be his true self around you, that’s a big obstacle standing in your way between you and the commitment you’re looking for.
8. He’s Immature For His Age
Commitment isn’t just about settling down with someone.
more: 5 Signs He’s Never Going To Commit
It’s also recognizing that although in a long term relationship you have to make compromises – it’s still better to be with someone you love and trust.
That kind of recognition and realization takes a level of emotional maturity to reach. If he’s still acting boyish in a lot of ways, it means he’s going to be slower to that realization than a more mature man.
So if he’s pretty immature, it’s going to be less likely that he’s going to want to settle down, and more likely that he’s going to give up if things get difficult.
9. He Doesn’t Keep His Promises
On some level, being in a long term relationship with someone is keeping a promise with them, every day.
more: The Biggest Reasons He Won’t Call You His Girlfriend
It’s a promise that even though you might run into a tough spot for a little bit, you trust each other enough to look past the present and know that the future is going to get better.
This goes back to the trust we talked about earlier in this article. If you don’t trust him, if you can’t trust him to keep his promises, how can you trust him to mean it when you settle down together?
A guy who can’t keep his promises is a guy who’s going to have a hard time sticking to a committed, settled down relationship.
10. He’s Always Looking For Something New
Yes, even in an exclusive long term relationship you can work together to keep things fresh and new. I’m not saying that long term relationships get stale.
However, a long term exclusive relationship means that you’re settling down with one person – and that there’s no prospect of meeting someone new.
more: How Can You Tell If A Guy Is Ready To Settle Down?
For a lot of people, that’s a bonus. They’ve found the person they want, and they don’t have to keep looking.
But for other people, especially people who get bored easily and are always looking for a new thing to occupy their attention, that’s a bad tradeoff to them.
So if he’s the type of guy who’s constantly looking for the next new thing and gets bored easily, it’s a bad sign for whether he’s going to settle down or not.
11. He Told You He Doesn’t Want To Settle Down Anytime Soon
This is one of the most glaringly obvious signs out there, but also surprisingly one of the ones that gets missed the most.
more: 10 Types Of Men Who Won’t Marry You
Many women, when they’re told that he doesn’t want to settle down “right now”, fixate on the “right now” part of that sentence, instead of the “I don’t want to settle down” part of the sentence.
They think that if they just wait, eventually things will change and he will want to settle down.
The unfortunate truth is that when a guy tells you he doesn’t want to settle down “right now”, it’s very likely that means that he doesn’t really ever want to settle down, and he’s kicking the can down the road so he doesn’t have to deal with it now.
more: How To Know When He’s Ready To Settle Down With You
This leads many women into the trap of waiting for a guy to finally be “ready” – which makes them waste months or even years of time with a guy who was never serious about a future with her.
So if he tells you he doesn’t want to settle down – no matter what the excuse is – you should believe him.
Want to find out if he’s going to commit? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really going to commit…
Take The Quiz: Is He Going To Commit?
These Are The Signs He’s Never Going To Settle Down With You
- He hates labels and avoids them.
- He downplays your relationship in public.
- You don’t have the same life goals.
- You don’t trust each other.
- He never wants to talk about the future.
- He doesn’t take his future seriously.
- You can’t be yourself around him (and vice versa).
- He’s immature for his age.
- He doesn’t keep his promises.
- He’s always looking for something new.
- He told you he doesn’t want to settle down anytime soon.
The real problem is that most women just expect too much now, since they will only want the very best of all and will never ever settle for less. They want Mr. Perfect.
OMG, i can’t see myself with this kind of a man. i hope ladies will pay ore attention to these and move forward instead of staying.
if he doesn’t want to talk about the future, you definitely do not have a future with him. leave it, as soon as you can!
having the same life goals will determine your destination. so if you don’t have the same, you won’t go anywhere
ladies should be aware of these and be mindful. sometimes the signs are already present but we keep ignoring them.
when he downplays your relationship around others, that only means he isn’t serious and will never commit
when you don’t seem to give you full trust to him and the same on his part, you’re never going anywhere with him
if you meet someone or if you are already with someone like this, you better run! sad but you really must!
as bad as it may seem, there are lots of this kind.
an immature guy will not go anywhere further, neither your relationship.
i hate it when a man downplays his relationship in public. my bestfriend experienced this with his ex and i told her not to be with that kind of guy. good thing she listened and followed her heart too.
when you don’t have the same life goals and direction, there’s never gonna be success in your relationship.
never wanting to put a label on your relationship is as good as nothing. so don’t expect him to settle down anytime soon.
this should be obvious. i mean, the problem with us, women usually is that we already know the signs and that there’s really no hpe at all but we still force things and then end up failing and getting hurt. </3
ladies, make sure you take note!
if you realize he isn’t mature for his age, don’t settle. don’t even think that he’s gonna change for you or what you want.
thanks for this article, i will keep all these in mind.
if he can’t keep any of his promises, never expect him to be committed, he’s never settling down with you
if he doesn’t even care about his own future, how can he be settling down and building a future for the both of you??
beware of these attitude because you may not notice and you’ll be stuck in a relationship going nowhere
if you’ve been with him for a while now and you don’t feel like he’s ever going to be serious with your relationship,that’s an indication that he’s not going to settle down with you in the end
he always downplays our relationship whenever we’re around his friends. :(
should i be really concerned?
if there is no trust in the relationship, you are going nowhere. men do not like it when there’s no trust from a girl
you should know all of these by now. if you’re dating someone like this, better wake up and move on if you want something real
a man who is allergic to “labels” isn’t any good for any kind of relationship
if you feel like he’s immature and all, talk to him and ask where your relationship is leading to
if your man is anything like this, you better run because you are not going anywhere if you stay
if he’s not mature enough for you and you think he’s still playing games then he must not be settling down with you any time soon
i would be devastated if my boyfriend isn’t really seriously thinking about settling down with me
when he tells you he doesn’t want to settle down “right now”, that means that he doesn’t really ever want to settle down…
love this article! thanks for the tips! :)