11 Enormous Signs He's Not Serious About You

11 Enormous Signs He’s Not Serious About You

It’s time. You want to know how serious he is about you.

Maybe the relationship has been going really well, but you’re worried about getting too committed before you find out how he feels about you.

Maybe you’ve been dating him for a while, and it’s getting close to “put up or shut up” time.

Or maybe you just have to know, one way or the other.

Whatever the reason, right now it’s time to find out whether he’s serious about you.

And I’m here to help.

more: The Biggest Signs He’ll Never Commit To You

This article will give you the biggest signs a guy isn’t serious about you – so you can figure out fast whether he’s got potential or you might be wasting your time.

Ready? Let’s start.

Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Going To Commit?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s going to commit to you…

These Signs Mean He’s Not Serious About You

1. He Flakes On You All The Time

When a guy is serious about you, it means you’re important to him. He’s going to follow through with what he said he was going to do.

Why? Well, when a guy is serious about a woman, he’s obviously hoping that she feels the same way about him.

more: Why Won’t He Commit To You?

He knows that if he treats her like she’s unimportant or flakes on her a lot, she’s going to give up on him and move on. So he makes it his priority to follow through with her.

If he’s flaking on you all the time or cancelling at the last minute, it means he’s not overly concerned about your feelings… which is a big sign he’s not that serious about you.

2. He Doesn’t Let Himself Be Open Around You

Being really open around someone else requires trust. It means that you trust them not to reject you when you’re at your most vulnerable.

In any good relationship, both partners are comfortable being open around each other – because they trust each other. But being open with someone new can be scary.

more: The Best Ways To Make Him Commit

If he’s never open around you – if he’s always wearing a “mask” or never really lets himself be vulnerable, it means that he’s either too nervous to be open around you, or he doesn’t think it’s worth it.

Obviously, if you’re at the very beginning of your relationship this isn’t as big a deal, but if you’ve been together long enough that you should start opening up by now and he hasn’t, it’s a sign that he’s not all that serious.

3. He Doesn’t Want You To Meet His Friends Or Family

When two people are in a close relationship, they’re not just dating each other. They’re also sharing their lives together.

And that means sharing the people that are close to you.

more: The Top Signs You’re With An Emotionally Unavailable Guy

It’s a classic step in any relationship to meet your significant other’s friends, and eventually, family. Those are the people who he thinks most highly of, and they’re the people whose opinions he most respects.

If he’s serious about you, he’s going to want you to meet his friends and family, not only to show them who he’s dating, but also so that you can see that side of him and grow closer as a couple.

If he keeps you away from his friends and family… it’s a sign that he doesn’t really want the relationship to progress any further.

4. You Don’t Feel Comfortable Around Each Other

Good relationships are all about intimacy. And intimacy can only grow when two people trust each other enough to be truly vulnerable around each other.

more: The Top Signs You’re Dating A Commitment-Phobe

If it doesn’t feel comfortable to be with him, or he doesn’t seem comfortable when he’s with you, that’s a huge obstacle to a deepening relationship and to intimacy forming between you.

Great, lasting relationships only happen when you can truly be yourself around someone else and they can be themselves around you, without any fear of rejection.

If it’s not comfortable being together, it’s a sign that you might not be compatible with each other – which is a big sign that things aren’t going to get serious.

Watch The Video: 9 Unmistakable Signs He’s Not Serious About You and Won’t Commit

5. He Doesn’t Make Time For You

I talked about this a little bit earlier, but it bears repeating: if a guy is really serious about you, then you become important to him.

more: 5 Signs He’s Never Going To Commit

You become one of his priorities.

That’s not to say that he’s going to drop everything and spend 100% of his time with you – it just means that he’s going to treat you as important and make an effort to spend time with you and balance his life with a commitment to you in it.

So if he’s always busy, or he’s never really got time to be with you, it’s a big sign that he’s not treating you as an important part of his life – because he’s not serious about you.

6. He’s Not Curious About Who You Are

If he’s really feeling like things could get serious and he’s serious about you, he’s going to want to know everything he can find out about who you really are.

more: 4 Ways To Make Him Commit To You

Why? Because if he really sees a potential future with you, he wants to know what that future is going to hold!

He’s going to be really interested in what makes you tick, in who you are underneath the mask, in who you really are as a person, so that he can figure out how far he can see things going between you.

If he doesn’t even have the curiosity to find out anything about you while you’re dating, it means that’s not that important to him… which again is a huge sign that he’s not serious about you.

more: The Biggest Signs He Doesn’t Like You

7. You Never Make Future Plans Together

These don’t necessarily have to be huge plans like the future of the relationship or anything like that.

For this example, it can be as simple as a birthday party invite a month in advance, or something like that.

A guy who never wants to make plans in the future with you and only hangs out on a daily basis is a guy who’s not that serious about the relationship.

So if all your dates and hangouts start from a text and happen that night… if you never plan to do anything a week or a month in advance, it probably means that he’s not that serious about you.

more: The Top Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

8. Your Gut Is Telling You He’s Not

Your instincts are going to be your best guide in your love life. When your heart is screaming at you trying to get you to believe something, your gut is going to be a far better guide as to whether it’s true.

You’re here because you’re looking for signs to confirm whatever you’re hoping is true. Maybe you’re really hoping he is serious about you, and you want to find signs that support that belief.

But take the time to ask yourself whether you really believe he’s serious, and answer yourself honestly.

The immediate feeling in your gut will give you a better answer than hours of rationalizing or agonizing over it will.

more: The Biggest Reasons A Guy Won’t Call You His Girlfriend

9. He Doesn’t Want To Call You His Girlfriend

This one is pretty obvious. If he doesn’t want to call you his girlfriend or put labels on the relationship, it’s a pretty big sign he’s not that serious.

Guys want to avoid labels when they’re not that into a relationship and want to keep the status quo. As soon as they feel a push for some sort of relationship label, an uninterested guy will try to shut it down as fast as possible.

Why? Because he likes things exactly as they are, and doesn’t want them to progress any further… because he’s not all that serious about the relationship in the first place.

more: 5 Signs He’s Not Serious About You

10. He Doesn’t Trust You (Or Vice Versa)

At the end of the day, the most important aspect in any relationship is trust.

You have to have trust in each other in order to be vulnerable and open, to have trust to be faithful to each other, and to have trust to be nurturing and respectful of each other.

Without trust, none of the intimacy and closeness of a good relationship can grow.

So you know, in your gut, whether you trust him, and you can feel whether he trusts you. It’s simple to tell if there’s trust in a relationship when you’re honest with yourself – there either is or there isn’t.

Obviously, trust takes time to grow, so don’t freak out if you’ve just started dating and don’t deeply trust each other yet. But if you’ve been dating for a while, and there still isn’t any real trust between you… unfortunately it’s a big sign he’s not serious about the relationship.

more: 3 Signs He’s Clearly Not Into You

11. He Says He Doesn’t Want Anything Serious

It seems like this should be an obvious sign, but it’s not.

Lots of guys will tell a woman that they don’t want anything serious, but then attach an excuse to it.

“I don’t want anything serious, right now.”

“I don’t want anything serious, while I’m looking for work.”

“I don’t want anything serious, because I’m not over my ex yet.”

The problem is that when a guy does that, lots of women hear the excuse part, but completely ignore the “I don’t want anything serious” part – when that in fact is the most important thing the guy said.

more: Signs He’s Not For Real

If he said he doesn’t want anything serious, the excuse he gave as to why doesn’t matter. The excuse is to try to make you feel better about the first half of the sentence, which is the important part.

No matter what his excuse is, if he tells you he doesn’t want anything serious, you should believe him. Even if the excuse goes away, his reluctance to get in a serious relationship with you almost certainly won’t.

Want to find out if he’s going to commit? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Going To Commit” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really going to commit…

Take The Quiz: Is He Going To Commit?

In summary…

11 Huge Signs He’s Not Serious About You

  1. He flakes on you all the time.
  2. He doesn’t let himself be open around you.
  3. He doesn’t want you to meet his friends or family.
  4. You don’t feel comfortable around each other.
  5. He doesn’t make time for you.
  6. He’s not curious about who you are.
  7. You never make future plans together.
  8. Your gut is telling you he’s not.
  9. He doesn’t want to call you his girlfriend.
  10. He doesn’t trust you (or vice versa).
  11. He says he doesn’t want anything serious.

signs he's not serious about you

43 comments… add one
  • Karen February 22, 2021, 12:44 pm

    I have met so many men saying that they want a relationship within a few days their saying something different either of these men could not be trusted they were just wanting sex when meeting guys i just sit back and hear them talking they practically tell on themselfs and before anything gets started i no longer are interested in what they are selling

  • Anon March 1, 2020, 5:06 pm

    What the heck are you people doing with these morons who have no self-respect about you or your feelings??love?its a joke!sorry, just being honest as you need to hear it bluntly! Get rid of dead wood and find the ones out there who are diamonds and will l treat you like one too! Good luck either way!

  • Lindsay Keith January 17, 2020, 3:19 am

    My boyfriend lives with me and we bin living together for 4 months he wont better himself to getting a better job to help with all the bills.. he is 33 works at a car wash. Keeps making excuses why he has no need to leave but im stuck working full time great job to make sure ends meat . He says he will find a better job but never falls through says he loves me i tell him no he doesnt.. i feel like he is using me and he is always angry.. i need some advice please on where to go from hear moving forward

  • Gloria August 26, 2019, 5:12 pm

    My boyfriend wants to take things slow. He’s got two grown kids. I already met his son who has some sort of stress level from zero to one hundred. His daughter I have not met. His son I did meet. My boyfriend will give me pecks on the lips but we don’t kiss romantically. We don’t have sex on a regular basis due to our living conditions.

  • Ella July 9, 2019, 8:17 pm

    Don’t now if I shud stick around as he dose not won’t a relationship but I can call eny time he’s just got out ov a 4 years relationship and it was a bad break up so dose he like me or is it just company he wonts no sex involved in it so I am stumpt about wear I might stand in all this

  • Ella July 9, 2019, 8:13 pm

    He sed he dosant won’t a relationship but I can call eny time but just got out ov a bad relationship

  • Lolo July 3, 2019, 1:05 am

    I been dating this guy for 15 months at first he used to check but now he won’t call and text unless I do it first sometimes I text but he won’t reply. He never have time for me he refuses to meet my family and won’t let me meet his.he don’t call me his girlfriend. At time I would ask him for his opinion on a matter concern me but he won’t give me advice. He would only say he love me through text messages but not face to face.i won’t help me emotionally and financially. I’m so tired I just want to leave .any advice

  • samantha February 10, 2019, 4:31 pm

    i dated this guy for two years and 3 month he knew my parent did not like him but he stayed and i did not know what i did to him but he never trsted me in the relationship his ex always message him telling him she loves him but when i look at his phone he gets angry the last time he told people we were not serious i broke p with him and he begged them we came back together after that we started stayed a while together and i told my mum about the guy i was dating she told me to break up with him and i told him and he accepted it . then i came back to tell him i do not want to be friends with him and he knew he did not want long term with me but he keeps coming to my house and he knows i love him and i keep having sex with him when i know he will hurt me and am just trying to forget him,

  • isha ramadhan February 7, 2019, 8:45 am

    Hi guys
    I have been dating with a stranger for 1 year now he always check on me every day and he call me so many times in a day and we do chart…he is very open to me and he has told every one in his family about me and i talk to hiz sisters and his friends
    he post my pictures on social media and status everytime..even if i upset him he normally get upset for few mins then he call and say sorry…hes expecting me to go and visit him..i develope feelings for him he seem so sweet
    Should i go and visit his him or no?
    What should i do ?

  • Direen. October 15, 2018, 7:16 am

    Why does a guy say he wanted to tell me why he’s been so distant says he lost his brother 2 years ago and it’s killing him . Says he just wanted me to know because he doesn’t want to lose me but then stops texting / all contact and won’t respond to any texts or calls ? Is this just an excuse to get out of a relationship ?? Should I just stop texting and trying to reach out to him ?

  • Enwereazu Rejoice September 27, 2018, 6:13 am

    really interesting, if a man did not introduce u to his family or friends while dating, dear run for your dear life.biko

  • Browneyez May 3, 2018, 2:31 pm

    Hello how you guys doing today well I’ve been seeing someone for about 2 months now and he wants to know all about me he’s very open around me we very comfortable with each other and he doesn’t want anything serious because he’s always traveling in and out of town so I mean I respect that and I understand that but I don’t know but he did make it clear that he didn’t want a relationship when we first met but when I say that my future plans what I want to do I mean he includes his self in it like he wants to help and when I say certain other things like he said there he tried to take me out he wants to get to know me and I figured him out like we are very comfortable so that the very confusing part for me..

  • Sabina February 1, 2018, 2:48 am

    Omg this is so true. I’ve been seeing a man for the last 4 months and to this day I hardly know anything about him. We meet only once a week as he has let me down many times during the weekends as he has ‘overslept. Whenever we arrange to meet he keeps me waiting for over 30 mins. That obviously shows he has no respect for me. He says he’s not good with time keeping but once when I wanted to end the ‘relationship’ he only turned up at my workplace. He hardly speaks to me on the phone & couple of times he’s put me down About my body. My gut tells me NO but every time I tell him look we aren’t compatible or we aren’t working, he gets into a sweat & tells me NO we will work.. I don’t know I’m so confused.

  • elsa June 26, 2017, 3:53 am

    he flakes on you on almost every occasion

  • lauren June 20, 2017, 12:04 am

    honestly, reading this makes it easy to know and realize. but when you’re in that situation, you forget about them and just try so hard to make him change for what we want him to be

  • lisa June 12, 2017, 11:55 am

    when he doesn’t keep his promises and do not initiate anything..this might mean he isn’t serious at all

  • martha June 9, 2017, 4:21 am

    don’t pretend you don’t know this. you know them and you see them, you just don’t want to admit and accept. ladies, you deserve the best, don’t settle.

  • aubree June 6, 2017, 11:37 pm

    if he doesn’t want you to meet his friends and family, you have a problem.

  • sienna June 5, 2017, 11:32 pm

    oh my gosh, these are all so true! women should know abput this!

  • korina June 4, 2017, 10:54 pm

    if he doesn’t open up himself to you and you feel he’s still reserved, he might not really be serious.

  • livvy June 1, 2017, 8:07 pm

    a guy who flakes a ot isn’t serious about anything.

  • gilda May 31, 2017, 7:51 pm

    if you’re with someone like this, better ask yourself if you really want to stay in the relationship..

  • josephine May 25, 2017, 4:04 pm

    a man who isn’t serious will always be uncomfortable and distrustful

  • eden May 24, 2017, 11:59 pm

    something to really ponder on. women, be honest and assess your man before it’s too late.

  • emma May 23, 2017, 3:06 pm

    if he is not curious about who you are and doesn’t care about what you want, he’s definitely not serious at all.

  • rachelle May 22, 2017, 4:54 pm

    all true! women should always be reminded of these signs.

  • curlie May 21, 2017, 6:39 pm

    ladies, ladies, ladies! stop what you’re doing and READ THIS!!

  • cecilia May 18, 2017, 2:25 pm

    if he doesn’t have time and doesn’t even try make time for you, he’s never serious about you

  • terry May 16, 2017, 4:39 pm

    he’s not serious with you if he hasn’t or he doesn’t have plans at all to introduce you to his friends and family

  • sandy May 15, 2017, 10:20 am

    if he doesn’t even want to put a label on your relationship, he’s definitely not serious

  • skylar May 11, 2017, 6:01 pm

    most women only want time from their partners. and if he doesn’t have this nor even make an effort, he’s definitely not serious about you.

  • macy May 10, 2017, 7:20 pm

    if he doesn’t want to call you his girlfriend and he has no plans on introducing you to his family & friends, he’s not serious at all

  • betty May 9, 2017, 5:27 pm

    women should be aware of these things because as obvious as they are, they usually are neglected

  • georgia May 8, 2017, 7:37 pm

    if there isn’t trust in your so-called relationship, he isn’t even serious to start with

  • miya May 3, 2017, 8:33 pm

    if he doesn’t make time for you even when you’re making the adjustments on your schedule, start thinking about where you’re really going in terms of your relationship

  • cindy May 2, 2017, 1:08 pm

    if you realize he’s not serious with you, i hope you can still get out of the mess and move on.

  • ivy April 27, 2017, 1:18 pm

    if he can’t be open with you especially about the status of your relationship then he isn’t serious at all

  • jill April 25, 2017, 3:05 pm

    these are pretty obvious signs that happen in real life. problem with women though, they don’t want to admit it because the think they can change men

  • carla April 24, 2017, 11:36 pm

    if you are stuck in a situation like this, free yourself the sooner you identify the problem because you can never change a person. many tried to but failed in the end. make him realize what he’s missing instead

  • minerva April 23, 2017, 2:20 pm

    i think we are all aware of these signs but when it’s happening to us we tend to be blinded by the truth

  • jane April 20, 2017, 3:40 pm

    i am so relieved knowing he’s not doing any of these..

  • cathy April 19, 2017, 5:51 pm

    these signs are for real. be sure to know these and avoid getting stuck with a guy who isn’t serious about you

  • lucrecia April 18, 2017, 2:19 pm

    be on the alert so you don’t suffer in the end

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