You’re here because you’re wondering is he testing me by pulling away from me?
You’re trying to figure out what’s driving his behavior and making him pull away from you.
Is he genuinely losing interest in you? Is this all a ploy to get you to come chasing after him? Is something in his life bothering him and taking him away from the relationship? Or is it something else entirely?
How do you figure out his true feelings?
What, in short, are you supposed to do? And how do you get him to come back to you after he pulls away?
It’s a terrifying feeling having a man you care about withdraw and pull away from you – and I know how vulnerable and scared you might feel.
So don’t worry – I’ve got you covered.
I’m going to tell you exactly what to do when he’s pulling away so that you don’t get caught in a situation where you’re chasing after him, and you give yourself the best possible chance of having a strong, lasting relationship with him.
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Slipping Away
He’s Not Testing You By Pulling Away From You
If you’re wondering whether he’s testing you, the answer 99.9999999 times out of 100 is that he isn’t, and that him seeming distant is actually about something else altogether. Most of the time, when it feels like he’s pulling away, he’s really just dealing with something that doesn’t have anything to do with the relationship and devoting his energy there. Regardless of the reason, and even if he is testing you, the best thing to do is play it cool and let him come back to you of his own accord.
What To Do If You’re Wondering Why He’s Pulling Away From You
So you’re freaked out. This guy you really like is going cold and acting distant towards you. Why?
There are lots of reasons why a guy might start to pull away in a relationship – and a ton of them aren’t about you or the relationship at all.
more: When A Guy Withdraws…
Sure, he might be pulling away as a power game to try to get you to chase after him.
Or he could be pulling away because he’s worried about the relationship getting too serious and he needs to grab some space and gain perspective.
Or he could be super jam packed with problems at work and be devoting 100% of his time and energy towards solving them – making you feel like he’s pulling away from you when really he’s concentrating on something else.
Or it could be one of a million other scenarios where he feels the need to take some space from the relationship for a period of time.
Out of what I listed, the first is probably the least likely – unless you know for a fact that this is a pattern with him and that he habitually tests boundaries in relationships by pulling away.
If you don’t know his dating history, then it could be one of a million different reasons that he seems distant towards you. Most of those reasons might not even be about you.
But regardless of whether he’s getting distant because he needs space, or because he’s dealing with a private problem, or even because he’s testing you – there’s one solution:
Here’s Exactly What You Should Do Whenever He’s Pulling Away
Regardless of what’s causing him to pull away, there’s always one solution that you should respond with:
Just play it cool.
Don’t try to chase after him, don’t try to “save” the relationship, don’t try to interrogate him to figure out why he’s pulling away from you, and definitely don’t try to analyze everything he says and does for clues as to how he’s feeling (more on that later).
All of those responses are mistakes – and the problem is that they feel right in the moment. They seem instinctively like the right thing to do – when really all they do is push him further away from you.
That’s where women get into trouble and wind up chasing after a guy begging him to be with her – not the position you’d want to find yourself in.
So the solution is simple: just play it cool.
If he’s pulling away from you or acting distant, it’s because he’s looking for space from the relationship. Why he needs the space isn’t as important as what you do when he’s looking for space.
If you chase after him, call him and text him, and let your anxiety force you to look for validation from him, it’s going to push him even further away. He won’t get the space he’s looking for – quite the opposite.
Instead, he’ll feel even more crowded by the relationship, which will make him grow even more distant, which blows up into a vicious cycle that can end the relationship prematurely.
more: Why Do Men Lie?
So instead, don’t try to chase after him. If he’s looking for space, let him have that space and let his desire to come back to you grow on its own.
You’re never going to be able to manipulate him into wanting to come back to you – that’s only going to make him feel more crowded and push him away further.
But if you let him have the space he’s looking for, it lets him know that you can give him what he needs – which makes him much more likely to come back to you.
There’s one other concept that I want to talk about here that’s super important:
Here’s The One Super Important Dating Rule To Follow
99% of the time I see women get completely screwed up in a relationship and wind up in a terrible spot, it’s because they neglected this rule.
If you follow this rule, you won’t wind up running around in circles driving yourself crazy trying to figure him out ever again.
Are you ready? Here’s the rule:
Don’t try to look for hints about how he “truly” feels in the things he says and does.
Meaning: don’t spend your time and your energy trying to figure out his true intentions or his true feelings from what he says to you or how often he texts you.
So many women fall into the trap of trying to figure out how a guy “really” feels about them by reading into his words and his actions to find “clues” and “hidden hints” about his true feelings.
This is a trap. It’s never going to help you. It’s never going to make your relationship better.
All it’s going to do is push him further away and drive you crazy trying to figure out why.
Looking For “Hints” From Him Is Going To Push Him Further Away
Great relationships work because it feels great for both people to be there.
Or, to put it in other words: your relationship is great if it feels great to be around each other.
When both partners are relaxed, comfortable, and in a good mood around each other – it feels great.
But if one or both partners are feeling anxious, or freaked out, or worried – it poisons the dynamic of a relationship and leads to both partners feeling like there’s something “off”.
That more than anything leads to both men and women growing distant from a relationship. It doesn’t feel as good to spend time with each other anymore, so one person seeks distance and pulls away to try to gain perspective.
When you look for “hints” in his behavior or try to analyze what he says to figure out his “true feelings” – it poisons the dynamic between you.
Instead of feeling relaxed and happy around you, he’s going to feel like you’re combing through everything he says. It’ll feel like he’s walking on eggshells around you, afraid to say the wrong thing.
That dynamic pushes him further away, because all of a sudden it doesn’t feel good to be around you anymore. And when he pulls away more, it makes you more anxious, which makes you look for clues even more intensely, and well… you get where I’m going with this.
That’s why the best way to respond when a partner is getting distant with you is just to play it cool and give him the space he’s looking for.
Don’t overanalyze. Don’t put him under a microscope. Don’t sabotage yourself by trying to read into what he does.
Just let him have the space he’s looking for. He’ll naturally feel better when he gets what he was looking for, and that good feeling will naturally draw him back to you.
Want to find out he’s slipping away from you Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Slipping Away” Quiz right now and find out if the man you want is really slipping away from you…