Why is he ignoring me all of a sudden? (When he avoids you suddenly)

Why is he ignoring me all of a sudden? (When he avoids you suddenly)

“He ignores me!” Here’s what it means when he seems to be avoiding you for no reason…

A guy being hot and cold is bad enough, but when he goes from calling and texting all the time and seeing you often to…nothing, it can give you some serious whiplash. It’s disappointing, confusing, and it probably makes you angry.

Why is this happening? What did you do to deserve this? Is it you? Or is he just a jerk? Why can’t he just tell you if he’s not into you anymore?

MORE: Exactly Why Guys Start Acting Distant All Of A Sudden (And What To Do About It)

If a man is avoiding you, he definitely has a reason, even if it seems to have come out of left field. Let’s take a look at what it means when a guy starts suddenly ignoring you.

Things May Not Be What They Seem

Before we go into everything else, I want to touch upon something important – while exceptions are rare, they do exist. I’m not saying that every man who ghosts you has unique, incredible, extenuating circumstances; some guys simply can’t be bothered.

But there are cases where a man will appear to be acting like a real S.O.B., only for you to find out that there was stuff happening behind the scenes that you weren’t aware of.

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

A few years ago, I was long-distance dating a guy who stopped talking to me for more than a week. I was confused, devastated, and more than anything else, angry. He’d been flaky before, so I went straight for the assumption that he’d been ignoring me. Only to find out later that he had been in an accident and been in the hospital, in an induced coma.

MORE: Why Is He Ignoring My Texts All of a Sudden: 26 Reasons He Ignores You

My knees gave out and I fell to the floor crying.

Obviously, this is an insane scenario; I felt like I was living in a crappy soap opera.

If a guy is suddenly ignoring you, it doesn’t mean that he is dying, that he was picked up by nasa for a special lunar mission, or anything like that. Just keep in mind that sometimes, people have good reasons for engaging in uncharacteristic behavior.

However, that doesn’t mean that you need to wait around for him. If you feel like he’s avoiding you and you’ve tried to get his attention and it hasn’t worked, then don’t insist

That’s for a few reasons.

First, the more you push, the more he will pull back, because whatever his reason is, the pressure from you won’t help. He might end up resenting you, instead.

Second, if he chooses to ignore you, then you can’t spend your time wallowing in self-pity because of it. He’s made his choice and you’re going to respect it. Now you can move on to someone who has the time to dedicate to you and will communicate his needs better.

MORE: The Real Reasons Men Pull Away When They Are Falling In Love

He’s Not Really Attracted To You

Look, sometimes things start out well enough, and they devolve into… something else entirely. This relationship may not have been what he bargained for, and he’s losing interest fast.

That may be because he’s a prick, or simply because he is a terrible communicator or feels bad telling you that he’s not actually into you, essentially. It’s a very uncomfortable situation that he doesn’t want to be in, so he never initiates it. Instead, he might just try to do the slow-fade with you, or even ghost you entirely.

MORE: Why Men Pull Away In The Early Stages: How To Get Your New Guy Back

What Can You Do?

Remember that it’s not your fault that you’re not a good match, and that, really, there’s nothing you can really do about it. If he’s been ignoring you or avoiding you and you think it might be because of this, pull away and give him space to sort his feelings out.

The worst thing you can do is desperately cling to him, because that will push him further away.

He Thinks You’re Moving Too Fast

If he’s afraid of commitment, then getting serious is going to scare him straight. You may not be taking active, conscious steps towards it, but if you’ve been naturally gravitating towards an exclusive relationship, or you’ve reached any milestones that he regards as “serious” (like meeting his friends, going away on vacation together, etc.), then he might be freaking out. He wants to play the field! Have fun! Go out with the bros!

And he can’t do that if he’s with you.

MORE: Why Guys Disappear and How to Deal

What Can You Do?

Frankly, if he’s afraid of getting serious and avoiding you because of it, there’s no real point in being with him anyway, is there? It’s clear that he doesn’t want you, he wants his no-strings-attached bachelor life.

And even if he’s willing to stick around, if it’s only half-assed, it’s that something you want? A man who is constantly torn between feeling like he hasn’t lived enough and the love for the woman who wants him?

Unless he can make peace with the fact that he is now in a committed relationship and he wants that and doesn’t feel like he’s missing out, then this doesn’t really have a future, because he’s always going to be tempted to go missing for a few days from time to time to get a taste of the life he almost had.

He’s Having A Hard Time

Something you probably know about men is that they are not excellent communicators and that they do not process their emotions very well. It’s not even their fault – it’s the way they are raised and conditioned. See, gender norms hurt everyone.

When you’re a guy and it’s been drilled into you your whole life that you can’t express weakness, fear, emotion, can’t cry, can’t tell anyone about what you are feeling or what difficulties you’re having, you end up being a pretty closed-up person.

So, when your man encounters a difficult situation at work or in his personal life, his instinct may be to retreat within himself, because he’s overwhelmed and emotional, and he can’t deal with that and you right now.

MORE: The Number One Reason Men Suddenly Lose Interest

When something is super important and all-consuming, all his focus goes there, and that means he can neglect you, either non-intentionally, or just as a mechanism to allow himself to focus on what hurts him right now.

What Can You Do?

You can support him by leaving him alone, for the time being. I know you have emotional needs too, but right now, you may need to find another way to fulfill them, while he’s sorting himself out. It’s not always pleasant or fair, but he just doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth to meet your needs at the moment.

He’s Into Someone Else

If he’s been seeing someone else, he’s developing feelings for someone else, or he’s even slept with another woman, then he might be rightfully retreating right now, in order to sort out his feelings. He doesn’t know what he wants to do, but he knows it’s not a comfortable spot to be in and that he does not want to have this conversation with you.

So, he’s been avoiding you, either because he’s ashamed, confused, afraid, or he’s simply hoping to shake you off, so he can run into the arms of the next girl. Some men are classy like that.

MORE: Why Is He Ignoring Me All Of a Sudden?

What Can You Do?

This happens all the time. It doesn’t hurt any less, but it’s a situation that is, perhaps, unavoidable. The heart wants what it wants and at the end of the day, if the guy is into someone else, you didn’t really want him with you, right? You want and deserve someone who feels about you the same way you feel about them.

He Needs Some Space

I don’t like to use the word “clingy”, but men sometimes feel women are exactly that – overly attached. Especially if you feel like he’s distancing himself, you may be clinging harder to him, without realizing. Are you calling more? Texting all day and not letting him work? Interrupting him to kiss him? Going in for a cuddle in bed even after he explained he’s too warm to be touched right now?

You’re not at fault here, but neither is he. He just needs some space, and he may be taking it by avoiding you for a while, just to get a breather. It doesn’t have to be a big deal or mean that your relationship is going to hell, just that any two people who spend too much time together can get a little sick of each other.

MORE: What to Do If He Stops Texting You Suddenly

What Can You Do?

The best thing you can do is to just let him be. Pull back, do your own thing, and let him be distant and ignore you for a while, if that’s what he feels he needs. Don’t reach out to him to use him as your emotional fulfillment, because that’s only going to irritate him further. Play it cool, understand his need for space, and respect it by not pushing the issue. He’ll come back after he’s enjoyed his break and he starts missing you. And boy, won’t the reunion be sweet!

As you can see, there are numerous reasons why a man may be less chatty with you than usual, or may even be avoiding you. You don’t necessarily need to draw the worst conclusion right off the bat, but you have to remain realistic. Whatever his reasons are, pestering him won’t help the situation in any way, so don’t push, if he’s pulling back. You can wait for him to sort himself out, if you wish, but no one will blame you if you choose to simply move on.

Now in any relationship I’ve found there are 2 pivotal moments that determine if your relationship ends in heartbreak or you get to live happily ever after so it’s vitally important that you take the next step and read this right now, because at some point the man you want is going to ask himself: Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? That answer determines everything… Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…

The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

In summary…

  • Things May Not Be What They Seem
  • He’s Not Really Attracted To You
  • He Thinks You’re Moving Too Fast
  • He’s Having A Hard Time
  • He’s Into Someone Else
  • He Needs Some Space

why is he suddenly ignoring you

39 comments… add one
  • Nokulunga June 13, 2021, 12:49 pm

    Im just confuse because this guy everything was fine he just disappear

  • precious January 20, 2021, 5:04 am

    well…ever since we started talking he was really nice, cute, funny and all until a month or so later he doesn’t really try to reach out to me saying he is busy and telling me that he will text me when he gets back home and then its late in the night he’s online and still hasn’t texted me yet…i was really sad of what was happening and even if he didn’t feel the same way we could at least still be friends but then just last week i texted him asking that “why was he doing this to me?” only to have him reply coldly towards me and then i just retired and stopped trying to save whatever we had but i really want to know what i did to him but i think he’s blocked me i’m a little saad but i have to focus on my life and get someone who would make me happier.

    my only question is why and did i do the right thing in just ignoring him and forgetting about what we had?


  • Tecia January 10, 2021, 11:07 am

    I,m in this situation he. Started acting busy and avioding me he dosent reply my text but view what ever i post on my status i dont know what to do if i should block him in all my social midia cause. I cant bear seeing him always view my status but dont reply my text nor call me back when ever i called him

  • cloudy August 11, 2020, 4:43 pm

    all in all the only thing you can do now is give him space and not talk to him too

  • Jay February 29, 2020, 9:41 pm

    26M here.
    Why I end up ignoring a girl I was really into.
    1. I catch her playing games with my time. (takes way too long to respond when she shouldn’t be.)
    2. I get friendzoned when I make explicit moves to signify I want a romantic relationship, sorry but there are other women who deserve my attention.
    3. If I get emotionally invested too fast.

  • massy November 18, 2019, 1:41 am

    it hurts when he starts ignoring you because he is seeing someone else. Anyways good to know

  • Rosie November 4, 2019, 9:39 am

    Surely, its a harsh thing when a guy suddenly goes MIA happened to me once. Just wish men could open up more .its not like we are God to know what is going on. Its only fair if he opens up to dialogue and stops wasting your time and emotional input. I don’t believe in the issue of space per say. Coz some guys really ghost 4 too long

  • Net June 19, 2019, 9:38 pm

    If a guy is interested in meeting you then all of a sudden he’s not anymore..can also definitely mean that he is influence from his friends that also like you…. “so called . haters ! “

  • gwyneth October 27, 2018, 7:47 pm

    i was wondering what did i do to deserve this kind of treatment from him. reading this post made me realize of the many reasons why he is ignoring me.

  • dionne October 24, 2018, 1:43 pm

    maybe he needs some space to work on important matters with career or family. let him know you are open and ready to listen anytime he wants to talk to you about what’s going on. but don’t send him lots of text messages and calls.

  • esperanza October 23, 2018, 7:12 pm

    you got a point. things may not be what they seem. it is good knowing what it means when a guy starts suddenly ignoring me. thanks for taking the time to share this wonderful post with us.

  • gabriela October 22, 2018, 1:26 pm

    worst can be because he isn’t interested in you and that he’s seeing someone else. make sure you know the real reason why and decide if something’s worth saving at all.

  • rosa October 19, 2018, 6:45 pm

    i thought calling or texting him would be the best solution. i will let him be distant and ignore me for a while and i will just do my thing.

  • kassandra October 18, 2018, 1:34 pm

    some men would suddenly disappear and will not get back to any of your calls or text messages. this happens when they come to realize that things may be happening too fast or they just don’t want any committed relationship at the moment.

  • callie October 17, 2018, 6:28 pm

    guys can be tricky sometimes. good thing there are articles like this that can make us understand them.

  • cadence October 16, 2018, 12:49 pm

    a man can do this for many reasons, but mostly it’s because you may be moving too fast. men who aren’t commitment-material will do this because they’re too afraid to get into something really serious.

  • jessie October 15, 2018, 4:27 pm

    very helpful post. this is the insight i needed. at first, i thought that understanding men is very complicated but you made it easy for me. thanks

  • evaline October 11, 2018, 5:32 pm

    even if he is ignoring me, i will still show him kindness. i don’t deserve being ghosted but it can be a blessing. maybe it happened for a reason.

  • bettina October 10, 2018, 7:51 pm

    this happened to me a year ago. my partner was upset about some failures in his life and ignored me. i confronted him and he told me that he doesn’t want to come out as a loser in front of me reason why he avoided me. good thing we were able to patch things up.

  • ladylyn October 9, 2018, 1:30 pm

    wow, i never thought of these things. i would always assume he’s a jerk, just like most of the men i dated. maybe if i only had a good relationship then i would understand and realize this.

  • darcey October 8, 2018, 6:33 pm

    i really hate it when he starts to avoid me for no reason at all. though it’s good that we easily patch things up.

  • amethyst October 5, 2018, 10:34 pm

    he may be losing interest because he’s seeing someone else. these are all possibilities and you just have to really be careful in knowing what the real score is before making any drastic move.

  • jada October 4, 2018, 5:42 pm

    this is one thing about guys that i don’t understand. why would they make us like them and then ignore us all of a sudden?! what’s the point?!

  • claudine October 3, 2018, 8:52 pm

    a man can be as complicated and not tell you what he really feels. if you’re not that close yet, he most surely will not be able to open up to you and these signs will help you figure him out.

  • melinda October 2, 2018, 7:16 pm

    i’ve read that a man may ignore you if he likes you too much. i found it very weird because men don’t play this game like women would.

  • andi October 1, 2018, 4:56 pm

    all these reasons can be happening to your man and it sucks. i wouldn’t wanna be on the losing end so i’ll just try my best to not make him want to end what we have. im reading your other posts and i really will apply your advices. thanks for sharing them here, im learning so much.

  • juliet September 27, 2018, 4:57 pm

    these reasons are very alarming. “He’s Into Someone Else” is the reason that i don’t want to hear! it will definitely drive me crazy!

  • amelia September 26, 2018, 5:25 pm

    consider every man’s need for some space. they don’t usually say it or ask for it verbally but when you feel like there’s something wrong or lacking, try to talk to him about it.

  • evelyn September 25, 2018, 4:54 pm

    whatever his reason is, it is still not right for him to just avoid me. he is a complete jerk! hate him so much!

    • Jodie July 1, 2019, 9:23 am

      I know right!!

  • madaline September 24, 2018, 7:36 pm

    he may be into someone else, for all you know. try to figure things out by checking out his behavior and you’ll know the reason why you think he’s ignoring you.

  • irma September 21, 2018, 6:25 pm

    this act is so immature for me. in my opinion, the best way to get an answer is to confront him when he starts to ignore you and ask for the reason why.

  • sheena September 20, 2018, 6:20 pm

    he might be needing a little space from the relationship. what i learn from years of experience is that men and even women need space from everything, like work and relationships to refuel and assess things. at the end of the day, it’s really healthy for both parties.

  • violet September 19, 2018, 5:27 pm

    these are very alarming reasons! hope this will not happen to me. i will definitely go crazy just in case! but it’s good knowing these.

  • lina September 18, 2018, 1:45 pm

    when a man thinks you’re moving too fast, he may not like it at all. men want women to be confident and at times somewhat aggressive. but if you do it too much, chances are he won’t really like it.

  • kylie September 17, 2018, 6:11 pm

    i hope i will never encounter a man who cannot or doesn’t want to leave his no-strings-attached bachelor life. i am not ready for that kind of set up.

  • alea September 15, 2018, 8:22 am

    this is so true! i think it is best that we don’t push men to like us back or to get them back. just make sure we let them know what they’ll be missing out on should they tink about leaving.

  • kayla September 13, 2018, 1:23 pm

    it is very confusing…i don’t know why he suddenly starts to avoid me. i have decided to move on and accept that there’s nothing i can really do about it..

  • estelle September 12, 2018, 4:45 pm

    i hope men can just be straightforward regarding this matter. i think it would really be rude to suddenly disappear or go MIA.

Leave a Comment