Will He Miss Me If I Leave Him Alone? Here's What Makes Him Come Back!

Will He Miss Me If I Leave Him Alone? Here’s What Makes Him Come Back!

Will he come back if I leave him alone? Here’s the best ways to let him go so he misses you and comes back.

Sometimes, break-ups are right and you both know for sure it’s over for good, but other times, you just can’t stop thinking about him, even after everything is said and done. You miss him a lot and you’re pretty sure you want him back, but you’re not really sure what to do about it. Your gut and popular women’s advice magazines tell you that you shouldn’t be overbearing and drive him crazy with texts. But what if you just… leave him alone? Will that intrigue him, give him some time to think about you, and ultimately bring him back?


Let’s see what you can do to get him thinking about you and wonder why he ever let you go.

Take The Quiz: Does He Love You?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Love You” Quiz right now and figure out whether the man you are with loves you or not…

MORE: How To Give Him Space So That He Misses You And Comes Back

1. “Let’s be friends” doesn’t work

Look, let’s be honest – “let’s be friends” never works, for a few reasons. The person who offers it always looks desperate, like they can’t let go and they need something to cling to.

That’s not a good look. So, don’t be the one to suggest it.

In addition to that, you are both still raw and emotional and it’s just not a good idea to keep that close of a friendship right now. It doesn’t mean you should hate each other; just that you don’t need to be talking every day. You need time to process and get over your emotions.

Plus, the man won’t come back to you if you don’t give him some time to let him miss you! You’ll have to disappear for a while to get him to appreciate you truly.

2. Look better than you ever have before

Step 2 of this is to start doing your best to look your best. That not only does you good, because you are giving yourself something to focus on and going on a journey of self-improvement, but it will fill his head with doubt:

Have you always been this irresistible? Have you found someone else? Why do you look this good?

So, instead of sitting around wallowing and pining for him, hit the gym, go shopping, let your new stylist give you a fresh, trendy look. You need something to rub in his face.

MORE: Exactly How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup

3. Don’t go all “crazy ex girlfriend” on social media

Social media can be dangerous in this situation, because after a break-up, emotions are raw, and intense, and… aggressive. So, you might be tempted to hop onto Facebook and start writing passive-aggressive statuses about men being pigs, or wallow in self-pity, or make posts for attention.

If you recognize yourself in any of that, step away from the keyboard right now!

What you need right now is a break from social media, or at least a break from him on social media. Hide his posts so you don’t have to see whatever girl he’s trying to dangle in front of you to make you jealous.

4. Be busy

The best way to get over someone – or simply stop obsessing over him! – is to keep busy. That will do your mental health a world of good, but it also serves the excellent purpose of making him wonder, or even make him jealous.

He knows your schedule and your lifestyle, so if you’re suddenly going out a lot, taking up some new classes, learning some skills, and making new friends, that will make him feel insecure. Are you slipping through his fingers? Are you finding a new, better life without him?

He won’t like that you don’t have time to think about him at all anymore, but it will give you a really healthy mindset. Every bit of effort you make should be for yourself.

MORE: Here’s How To Stay Strong After A Breakup

5. Don’t dwell on what you lost

I know that right now, the wound is fresh and all you can think about is what you’ve just lost… but instead of dwelling on your loss, why not focus on all the new things you can enjoy?

You know how people who are in long term relationships sometimes lose themselves and their individuality for a bit? Well, now is the time to get it back!

Enjoy all the things you used to before you were in a relationship, or all the things your ex hated. Eat all that Indian food he didn’t like the smell of, spend evenings in your pjs watching rom-coms and go to bed wearing that hydrating face mask.

It’s also a good time to think about all the things that went wrong in your relationship… or right! Space can give you clarity.

6. Use your mutual friends

Not that I would ever advocate manipulation… but having mutual friends can be used to your advantage. You shouldn’t dangle a new guy in front of your ex… that would be too obvious.

But you can make sure one of your friends sees you, because you know for sure this juicy piece of info will make it back to your ex. That will hurt his ego and make him jealous.

MORE: Here’s Exactly What To Do When He Says He Needs Space

7. Never beg

You can’t be the one who begs him to get back together. Don’t be that girl. There is nothing more unattractive than desperation. You need to keep a cool head and never ask him to come back, no matter how much you want it.

You want this step to come from him, so what you need to do is subtly get him to reach this conclusion, but without realizing you are trying to make it happen. He will come back to you, but if you ask, that will be a turn-off. Men want what they can’t have, but if you cling to him… that doesn’t work quite as well.

8. Enjoy yourself

Who says you can’t enjoy your break-up? After all, he’s enjoying himself plenty! Being miserable is not only unattractive, but it’s bad for your mental health.

You’re a single woman for the first time in a while, so live it up a little! If he finds out about it, even better. Your free time is all yours and you can spend it however you want.

Maybe this is the right time to take that dance class or learn self-defense. The world is your oyster!

MORE: How to Give Him Space The Right Way

9. Be happy for him – at least to his face

It’s very important that you don’t appear to be bitter about the break-up or his new life. Does he have a new girlfriend, new hobbies, has he moved on with his life? Some of that might have been done to make you jealous.

You should be glad about all of those! Tell him how happy you are for him. You think it’s great he found love again three days after your break-up, it’s just so great!

That will give you the advantage of maintaining the moral high ground by staying classy, and it will make him wonder why you’re not upset – have you moved on?

10. Cease contact

If you’re gonna break up, then break up. That means no contact. It will do you both some good, because you’re not constantly rehashing the same stuff over and over. It gives you both some time to focus on yourselves, and take some space to analyze the relationship a little bit.

What you want is for him to notice; you’re doing this very deliberately.

If you think you’ll have a hard time, you can set some goals for yourself. 5 days without contacting him, then 10, then 30, etc. Every time you reach your goal, reward yourself.

MORE: Decoding Male Behavior: How Guys Deal With Breakups

11. Never answer texts immediately

When he does contact you (because you haven’t, ha!), don’t just jump up and answer him. That invalidates all the hard work you’ve been doing by not contacting him and sets up the expectation that you will drop everything because he bothered to talk to you.

Instead, let him stew for a bit. Leave his messages on “read” for minutes or hours. Get back to him much later, in a polite tone, asking what you can do for him. The underlying message you are sending is clear – you’ve got a life and he is no longer a priority.

12. Move on with your life

And if you’re going to all this effort to give him the impression that you’ve moved on with your life, you might as well do it. You can’t wallow forever, and you only have one life, after all. It doesn’t end just because your relationship did.

Start living your life once again, take advantage of opportunities, and start planning the next steps. You’ve got an entire future ahead of you and you have to take advantage of it.

MORE: If Your Love Is Meant To Be, He’ll Come Back Around. Here’s Why…

13. Meet new people

You can’t keep spending time alone thinking about him. Go out and make an effort to meet new people. Putting yourself out there is an important step in your efforts to overcome this break-up and live your life normally.

Start going out, let your friends introduce you to their friends, and find new places to visit. Any outing can be an opportunity to meet new people and have new experiences!

14. Treat the break-up with maturity

He’s expecting you to be bitter and resentful, so go in the opposite direction and betray his expectations. Be mature about the break-up, wish him all the best, and maybe even tell him that it’s better this way.

This will give him a bit of a shock to the system, because it’ll get him wondering why you’re so…serene about it. Why aren’t you upset? Why aren’t you more affected by this? Are you with someone else already? Have you moved on? It’ll drive him crazy.

MORE: Will He Come Back?

15. Ignore him

Men hate nothing more than being ignored. Even when they’ve given you a reason for it, or they started it. If he notices silence from your part, he might start… poking you to see what’s up. Your job is to resist responding to his prodding.

If he “likes” your photos on social media, don’t like his back. Don’t answer random comments. Don’t reply to texts. And most importantly, perhaps, is to not react to any attention-seeking behavior, like photos he might post with other women to make you jealous.

16. Let him go

There’s a saying that goes “If you love something, set it free”, and it’ll come back to you, if it’s yours. The same goes for relationships – let the man go, and he will return. As soon as you stop putting up a fight to keep him at all cost, he will start noticing your absence, and then start missing you.

He’s free to take some space, pursue whatever he thinks will make him happier than you did, but he will soon realize that he wants to be with you.

17. Don’t show him how upset you are

Listen, whoever cares less has the power. That’s because it makes the other person second-guess themselves and wonder why you don’t care. Of course, you don’t actually have to be an unfeeling, neutral robot, but you have to make him think you are. Keep your best poker face on and no matter how upset you are, do not let him see it.

You have to be neutral or even happy, so that he can see that your world is not falling apart because of a break-up, and especially not because of him. You’ve got this!

18. Make him think you’ve found someone new

It always hurts when your ex finds someone new before you do, so don’t think men are an exception. Especially if it’s just a few days after the break-up, it can be very upsetting.

That’s because he’s still going to be jealous, and because he is going to feel like maybe he didn’t do enough to be special to you. And maybe he should have put more effort in. And maybe he didn’t know how to appreciate you properly. After all, someone else wanted you enough to snap you up quickly after he decided he didn’t want you anymore.

If you actually do meet someone else, it’s a win-win: either your ex realizes his mistake and comes back, or you get to enjoy a new relationship with a new man who appreciates you.

19. Have lots of fun

Make sure you have a lot of fun, and make sure he knows it. It’s the best time of your life! You’re not hurt at all! Look at how much fun you’re having without him! Yay! This will lift your spirits and perk you up, because God knows watching soap operas and crying isn’t going to help.

And if this gets your ex thinking about you and regretting his rash behavior…then even better, right?

20. Don’t bring up your relationship or break-up

Remember that if you do find yourself around your ex occasionally, you can’t talk about your relationship or the break-up. Talking about it constantly will make it seem like you can’t stop thinking about it, analyzing it, and obsessing over it. You need to play it cool. It doesn’t hurt at all, and you’re totally normal!

He’s absolutely going to wonder how come you’re so cool with everything and where he went wrong, because he sure as hell isn’t over it yet, so what happened?

21. Treat him politely

The trick to successfully interacting with an ex is to remain as polite as possible. Not overly friendly, not cold either; just aggressively polite. You see, that will hurt his ego, because you’re not hanging off him. Instead, you’re treating him like a stranger. That hurts more than if you treated him badly, because then at least he knew you cared.

Because of that, he’ll try his best to get into your good graces again. He doesn’t understand what he did and why you’re acting like that. Isn’t he great and worthy of more? Has he hurt you? Do you hate him? He can’t stand the thought of that.

As you can see, getting your ex back can be as simple as just… leaving him alone. Sometimes, the best course of action is inaction. Ignoring him and just refusing to cling to him will do wonders for your relationship, because it gives him a chance to analyze his feelings and miss you.

While this article shows you the best ways to act after a breakup to get him to come back, I’ve found there are 2 pivotal moments that determine if your relationship ends in heartbreak or you get to live happily ever after so it’s vitally important that you take the next step and read this right now, because at some point the man you want is going to ask himself: Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? That answer determines everything… Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…

The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Want to find out whether the man you are with loves you or not? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Take The Quiz: Does He Love You?

In summary…

Making him miss you so that he comes back

  1. “Let’s be friends” doesn’t work
  2. Look better than you ever have before
  3. Don’t go all “crazy ex girlfriend” on social media
  4. Be busy
  5. Don’t dwell on what you lost
  6. Use your mutual friends
  7. Never beg
  8. Enjoy yourself
  9. Be happy for him – at least to his face
  10. Cease contact
  11. Never answer texts immediately
  12. Move on with your life
  13. Meet new people
  14. Treat the break-up with maturity
  15. Ignore him
  16. Let him go
  17. Don’t show him how upset you are
  18. Make him think you’ve found someone new
  19. Have lots of fun
  20. Don’t bring up your relationship or break-up
  21. Treat him politely

will he come back if i leave him alone

34 comments… add one
  • Katie July 21, 2020, 3:53 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend a couple days ago, it’s been really hard but I’ve gone no contact on him. It’s a sad truth but I think it will take me to completely exit from his life for him to realise what he truly wants longterm. If he loved me as much as said he’ll come back, if not if was never meant to be… The real test for him will be letting his stubborn guard down.

    • Sajida December 11, 2021, 10:09 am

      Katie same problem stubborn did yours come back! ?? It’s been two weeks for me no contact

  • Tracey October 8, 2019, 12:07 pm

    I tried this. Cpmpletely ignored him. Think ive really hurt him. Not sure at all. But now hes avoiding me back. Not just ignoring but avoiding. Big mess. What do i do now? I really like him. :-(

  • marcela November 27, 2018, 4:43 pm

    if he loves you, he will miss you and come back no matter what. just saying..

  • cora November 23, 2018, 5:47 pm

    Be happy for him – at least to his face – this one is going to be hard especially if you see that he has already moved on and you are still trying to cope with your break up.

    • Sajida December 11, 2021, 10:06 am

      Hey hun going through exactly same thing he is very stubborn has he come back??

  • janella November 22, 2018, 12:18 pm

    keep yourself busy. do not sit around and wait for him to come back, and don’t even think about stalking him and begging for him to. this does not work, at all. do things you love, go shopping or better yet do something worthwhile like hitting the gym or meeting with your friends and have fun.

  • sam November 21, 2018, 6:15 pm

    is it really worth it if i will take a break from our relationship? i think both of us need to reevaluate what we want. i don’t want to lose him and i am also unsure if he is going to miss me if i leave him.

  • marline November 20, 2018, 2:16 pm

    i would suggest you also focus on making yourself look way better. not only physically, but also internally. take care of your body and that will show on the outside.

  • molly November 19, 2018, 5:32 pm

    if you are not happy in your relationship anymore then just leave. why would you think whether or not he will miss you? and why would you think of him missing you once you’ve left him?

  • toni November 16, 2018, 6:24 pm

    i think the only way for him to miss me and get back to me is the no contact rule. it is my only hope…

  • andrea November 14, 2018, 5:14 pm

    i consistently making myself available and i think this is the reason why he is not missing me. will play hard to get this time and also, will follow your tips.

  • ria November 12, 2018, 6:01 pm

    hahaha! i didn’t know that spicing up my sex life would take as much effort as this!

  • kaitlyn November 12, 2018, 6:00 pm

    i nearly cried when i asked myself this question because i really don’t know what to do. this article is my savior. will follow all the tips listed here.

  • amity November 8, 2018, 5:46 pm

    losing him may be the best thing that’s ever happened to me but i admit i am feeling empty. i really hope i could make him miss me so that he would come back.

  • kate October 31, 2018, 3:04 pm

    be busy and do not ever go crazy ex-girlfriend on social media. these are my top picks. women nowadays keep posting nasty stuff after a breakup. i dont know why but they don’t realize it makes them look bitter and so needy. totally a turn off!

  • kathy October 30, 2018, 6:59 pm

    leaving him alone is my only option and i know it is going to work. i am pretty sure doing this will make him question his ego and self-worth.

  • ina October 29, 2018, 4:39 pm

    if you do not literally leave your guy alone, then he cannot miss you. giving him space will also help because it will prevent matters from getting worse.

  • gemma October 26, 2018, 1:37 pm

    enjoy yourself, have fun and make sure he knows you are. this is one way of knowing if he still cares. if he gets a slight hint of jealousy knowing you are having fun without him, there might be a chance of him trying to get you back.

  • nessa October 24, 2018, 8:09 pm

    i’ll see if this will work out. i will leave him alone because i think it is the only way out of the pain and see if it will intrigue him.

  • toney October 23, 2018, 1:32 pm

    until you convince yourself and decide that it’s time to let him go and move on, you won’t really know. if he doesn’t come back, it won’t be too painful anymore. you can now focus on yourself and what really matters, your future. if he comes back, you can either accept him or not, this time knowing whwt will really work for yo and what’s best for you and maybe for him too.

  • stacie October 22, 2018, 4:49 pm

    i get anxious about the idea of ignoring my ex completely. i am not sure if he is missing me right now like how i am missing him and i really want us to be together again.

  • meliza October 19, 2018, 12:54 pm

    im glad i happened to read this article today. i was really feeling down a few days now because i don’t know what to do. but this gave me courage to just be firm and try to move on. if he comes back, ill make sure it’s because he realizes he loves me and not because i forced him to.

  • candace October 18, 2018, 5:37 pm

    ending a love relationship is really hard. i just can’t stop thinking about him. will follow your advice and i hope that he’ll come back to me.

  • keira October 17, 2018, 1:12 pm

    Don’t go all “crazy ex girlfriend” on social media – this is an absolute NO-NO!! he will hate you for it and he won’t be coming back ever.

  • lany October 16, 2018, 6:03 pm

    i made my man come back to me by leaving him alone. it may sound weird and funny but yeah, when we broke up, i almost lost myself but i decided to keep myself busy and left him alone which helped him realized his true feelings for me.

  • wanda October 15, 2018, 1:12 pm

    i love that this is honest and realistic. some writings are just too good to be true and they give you false hopes that aren’t really practical and almost impossible to achieve.

  • Andrea October 15, 2018, 10:33 am

    Thanks you for top it help

  • dory October 12, 2018, 7:32 pm

    i hate “let’s be friends” because it never really works. and like what the article stated, you will just look miserable.

  • carli October 10, 2018, 7:08 pm

    this is the question that is going on in my mind right now. this article is very timely. i will make sure to bookmark this page. thanks.

  • celia October 9, 2018, 12:38 pm

    for some this may be effective. unfortunately, my ex boyfriend wouldn’t get back together with an ex so, too bad for me.

    • Anne November 9, 2018, 12:44 am

      Never say never.
      I know somebody who said the same. After the break up, he completely cut off his ex out of his life ‘because over is over’
      Now they are married with children

  • lynda October 8, 2018, 6:05 pm

    being busy is the best way to recover from a heartbreak. this is the time to enjoy yourself, do things that you like and meet new people. it will be a bonus if he comes back to you.

  • phoebe October 5, 2018, 9:33 pm

    most men would really appreciate some space. most of the time, this even gives them that time off to realize what they’re missing.

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