So your ex is gone – and he left you with a broken heart. Then, to add the horrible cherry to this already terrible sundae – he’s already started another relationship.
How could he be ready for something new so quickly? He can’t have moved on that fast.
The common wisdom here says he’s in a “rebound relationship” – and it’s common because it’s usually correct. And that’s good news for you, because rebound relationships sometimes mean your ex wants to get back together with you.
But if you’re not convinced, and you want to know the top signs that he’s in a rebound relationship and not something real, you’ll find all the answers here.
Even though at first blush it might seem like he’s found something real – he’s putting in an effort in his new relationship, the girl he’s with seems totally different from you, and he “seems” over the moon – there are some telltale signs that will give away the truth.
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The point of this article is to stop you from driving yourself crazy trying to analyze every little thing he does to try to figure out whether he’s left you behind or whether he’s just trying to get over you, or whether your ex secretly still loves you.
Even though your instincts might be telling you he’s moved on and left you behind, these clues will let you know that he’s not as over you as he appears, and this new “real” relationship might be just another rebound (and you’ll be able to get your ex back a lot more easily than you might think…)
Rebound Relationship Sign #1: How Quickly Did He Get Into A New Relationship?
This is the quickest sign that he’s in a rebound relationship and not something real.
If it’s only been a week or two and he’s already jumped headfirst into a new relationship – chances are it’s a rebound relationship. Nobody moves on and finds someone new that quickly.
(Of course, if he cheated on you with another woman and started dating her right after you broke up, it might be more serious than a rebound.)
Other than that situation, the easy rule of thumb is that the longer he waited, the less likely it is to be a rebound relationship. It’s more likely to be real if he waited a few months before dating again, as opposed to a few days or weeks.
Everyone works differently – and some people might be totally comfortable jumping into a brand new relationship right after ending an old one, so this sign isn’t a 100% guarantee one way or the other.
Take it in conjunction with the next signs to find out the truth.
Rebound Relationship Sign #2: How Long Has His New Relationship Lasted?
This is a sign you can use to narrow down the probability that your ex is in a rebound relationship very quickly.
Simply put? The longer they’ve been dating someone new, the less likely it is that it’s a rebound.
If they’ve only been in their new relationship for a few weeks, it’s way more likely that it’s a rebound relationship. Conversely, if they’ve been dating this new person for 8 months or longer, it’s much more likely that it’s real, and not a rebound.
Note that it’s way more likely that it’s a rebound if the relationship is new, not that it definitely is a rebound. You can’t tell for certain if it’s a rebound relationship if they’ve only been dating for a few weeks, but you can tell with a very high probability that the new relationship is serious if they’ve been dating for a year or more.
Rebound Relationship Sign #3: Who Did He Go For?
One huge sign to look for to tell if he’s in a rebound relationship is the woman he started dating right after you.
If she’s absolutely nothing like you – that’s a big sign that it’s a rebound relationship rather than anything serious.
Why would he pick someone that’s the opposite of you? The answer lies in a common human behavior: overcompensation.
You know how when someone is secretly insecure, they act over the top arrogant on the outside to cover it up? Or, when a guy buys a huge expensive car, it’s sometimes to compensate for something else he wishes was huge? (wink wink)
The same mechanism is at play here. Your ex is overcompensating for the pain of your breakup by deciding to date the exact opposite of you. Obviously, if things with you didn’t work out, it’s because he should be dating your opposite, right?
Wrong. Just like other forms of overcompensation, this eventually comes around to sabotage him, and he winds up unhappier than he was before.
Rebound Relationship Sign #4: How Fast Is His New Relationship Moving?
This is a huge sign to look for – it gives you a ton of information about whether your ex is in a rebound relationship or not.
Here’s the sign: if it seems like your ex is moving super-fast in their new relationship, it’s a strong sign that their new relationship is a rebound.
This might seem backwards at first. After all, if things are getting serious very quickly in your ex’s new relationship, doesn’t that mean that things are real?
Counter-intuitively, it actually means the opposite. Let’s look at why.
It’s helpful now to look at the reasons why people get into rebound relationships. The point of a rebound relationship is to get over the pain of your last failed relationship, and to try to replace the comfort, intimacy, and happiness that you lost when your last relationship fell apart.
When you’re in a good relationship, it leaves you feeling more confident, happier, and generally way better than when you’re single. However, when a relationship ends, all of a sudden that source of intimacy, happiness, and contentment disappears from your life.
This leaves a yawning black hole in the center of your emotional well-being. You’ve suddenly lost the support of your partner, something that your mind and your emotions has taken for granted while it was there.
When this happens, it creates horrible emotional turmoil and unhappiness. (Obviously, this isn’t a complicated statement: break up feel really really bad).
For a lot of guys, facing the pain of the breakup is too much. They emotionally “panic” and look for any way to stop feeling the pain of loss of intimacy and support as soon as possible.
So what do they do? They get into a rebound relationship, of course!
What does this have to do with the speed their new relationship progresses? Everything.
As your ex settles into his new rebound relationship, it’s going to lessen the pain of the breakup. The immediate need for connection and support will be met.
However, when he’s alone, he’s still going to feel the lack of connection that he had with you. The new relationship won’t give him everything that his past relationship did, and that’s going to cause him emotional pain.
After all, the intimacy in a relationship of 3 weeks could never compare to the intimacy in a relationship of 3 years.
So when he feels that lack of connection and intimacy, he works to manufacture it in the new relationship. That means that instead of letting the relationship take its natural course, he pushes it forward, moving faster than he normally would and escalating the relationship more quickly.
This is why when you see your ex get into a relationship that’s moving really fast after you breakup, it’s a great sign that it’s a rebound, and not something more real.
Rebound Relationship Sign #5: How Is He Acting Towards You?
One of the easiest ways to tell if your ex’s new relationship is real or rebound is to watch how he acts towards you.
If he’s rubbing it in your face, or otherwise making his new relationship about you (rather than about his new partner), then it’s a huge, extremely glaring sign that it’s a rebound relationship.
After all, if he’s going to the trouble of rubbing his new relationship in your face, he’s obviously not over you. And if he’s not over you, why is he getting into a new relationship?
Because it’s a rebound.
If he’s going out of his way to make sure you know how happy he is and how well his new relationship is going, that’s a huge sign that it’s a rebound relationship that’s being staged for your benefit (or against your benefit, as the case may be).
However, if he’s hiding the new relationship from you, and going to an effort to make sure you don’t find out about it, that generally means one of two things.
The first option is that he wants to make sure you don’t find out so that if things don’t work out with the new woman he still has a chance with you. This would point towards it being a rebound relationship, and not something real.
However, if you’ve had drama filled fights and crazy things happen between you in the past, he might be hiding his new relationship to avoid that same drama.
Basically, take a look at what happened between you during the breakup, and whether anything crazy happened (like either of you stalking each other, or acting crazy, causing drama, or whatever).
If it was a pretty mild breakup, and neither of you has ever acted like the stereotypical “crazy” ex before – then his hiding it could mean that it’s a rebound, and he wants to get back together with you in the future.
But if it was a crazy, blowout, nasty breakup, with drama filled craziness on either side, then he’s probably just hoping to avoid future drama, and it’s probably not a rebound.
So Either Way, What Should You Do?
Whether he’s in a rebound relationship or not, the best thing you can do is to follow the master plan to getting your ex back.
It will give you the best possible chance at getting him back, regardless of whether he’s in a rebound relationship or not.
One important thing to remember is that if he’s in a rebound relationship, even if he doesn’t wind up staying with her every day that he’s not with you it becomes less and less likely that you’ll get back together. That’s because his feelings for you will fade every day you’re apart, until your chances with him become zero. If you want him back, you need to take action right now to make him see you as “the one” and desperately beg you to get back together with him, and to do that you need this secret formula that gets your ex back in your arms for good. Don’t wait until it’s too late discover it now: Do You Want Your Ex Back? Use This To Get Them Back…
And if you’ve got any questions about rebound relationships, leave them below – I’d love to answer.
Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…