There’s a big difference between your ex still having feelings for you and him actually wanting you back. In a lot of cases, he might still really care about you… and still think that you shouldn’t get back together.
So that’s why I decided to write this article: the signs your ex wants to get back together with you. This will give you the signs that he truly wants to get back together with you – not just the signs that he still cares about you.
You’ll get 5 top signs he wants you back, plus exactly what you should do in each situation to maximize your chances of getting back together with him.
Now, a lot of people come here wondering if their ex wants them back because they’d like to know whether or not they’ll be able to get back into a relationship with their ex.
I’ve included a quiz here that will tell you how good your chances are to get back together with your ex.
(Don’t worry, you can come back to it later too.)
1. Reminiscing With You About Good Memories
If your ex is bringing up good memories that you two had together while you were in a relationship, that’s an excellent sign for your chances to get him back and keep him.
Not only does it tell you that he’s been thinking about your relationship, it tells you that he’s been actively missing you while you were gone.
It’s a huge giveaway that he still has major feelings for you, and that he’s been thinking about acting on them and getting back together with you.
How Should You Respond?
This is something you definitely want to see from him – so you should encourage it. After all, if he’s reminiscing about you, it’s making him miss you more… which is something you definitely want.
Let’s say he texts you and says:
“I just remembered when we went camping last summer. I still can’t believe the tent fell down in the middle of the night, we had a lot of fun :)”
Here’s exactly how to text him back:
“That was so much fun, I remember you sprung into action and fixed it really quickly even though it was so dark out. I just went camping last weekend with a friend, it was so much fun we hiked everywhere lol”
Not only are you rewarding him for reminiscing about your relationship (by complimenting him), you’re also showing him that you’re having fun and living your life without him. By showing him that you’re not relying on him for your happiness, it makes you more attractive in his eyes.
Obviously, a little of that goes a long way, so don’t lay it on too thick or he’ll see through it and get turned off.
And if you’re looking for more perfect responses in case your ex texts you, check out this article I wrote on the subject.
2. Working On Himself
When your ex is taking the time to make himself better, it’s a good sign that he’s matured from the experience of the breakup and is focusing on becoming a better man.
And if he’s focused his efforts on the parts of himself that contributed to the breakup in the first place – that’s very good news.
It means that not only has he recognized that he played a role in the breakup, but also that he regrets it, and wants to make sure it doesn’t happen again in the future (i.e. with you).
Lots of guys find themselves in a rut after a relationship ends – same as women. It’s especially hard when you’re basing a lot of your self-worth and self-esteem on the opinion of another person… only to have it disappear from your life almost overnight.
It’s enough to send most people into an introspective place, and a lot of guys deal with that by identifying things about themselves that they don’t like and working on them.
It’s the natural instinct to find ways to feel good about yourself again, especially after a major emotional support in your life drops away.
That’s why it’s important to look at the ways he’s trying to improve himself. Is he just working on himself in a general way? Or is it more targeted?
It’s a very good sign for your future prospects with him if he’s working on something that you didn’t like or something that directly contributed to the breakup. That shows that he saw the problem and that he’s working to fix it – presumably to make a relationship possible with you again.
Of course, he might just be doing it for himself and for his future relationships, but if he’s working on something you’ve specifically complained about, or something that specifically drove you two apart, it’s a good sign that he regrets that the relationship ended and that he wants to get back together.
(And remember – this is something you should be doing as well while following the no contact rule).
How Should You Respond?
Since this is just him working on himself, you don’t really need to respond or insert yourself into the situation at all. If he comes to you and fills you in on the work he’s been doing, you should definitely give him encouragement, since you want him to keep doing it. Just avoid coming off as desperate or needy by giving him too much praise and you should be fine.
3. He Brings Up The Future With You
This is probably the biggest sign that he wants to get back together with you.
If he talks about his future with you, and you’re in it, it means he’s definitely planning on getting back together with you.
How Should You Respond?
Simple – give him back exactly what he’s giving to you. If he’s talking about a future with you, you can tell him about a future you see with him.
Obviously, if you go overboard and start talking about having kids with him when he’s talking about the summer, you’re going to scare him off (and come off as totally desperate).
Just show enthusiasm and tell him you’re looking forward to whatever it is he’s talking about in the future with you (like hanging out during the summer or going to a big event together).
4. Going Over The Things That Lead To Your Breakup
If your ex wants to talk through all the things that went wrong in your relationship – it means he’s putting thought and empathy towards figuring out what he could have done better.
Obviously, if he just wants to hurl blame and negativity at you, it’s a bad sign. That means he’s not over the breakup and he still feels super bitter towards you – not an encouraging sign he wants to get back together. Plus, it means he’s immaturely trying to feel better about the breakup and about himself by blaming you.
Instead, if he’s talking through the things that went wrong in the relationship and led to the breakup, without blame, bitterness, or anger, it’s a sign he’s trying to gain perspective and understand the roles that both of you played in the breakup, so that he can mature as a person and avoid those mistakes in the future.
How Should You Respond?
Reciprocate. You can respond and engage with the issues he’s presenting you with – just don’t start the blame game and bring bitterness into the mix, because that will surely turn him off and drive him away (especially if he’s sincerely trying to talk about why the relationship fell apart).
Follow this rule: don’t focus on bringing up things he did wrong. In fact, don’t really focus on his shortcomings in the relationship at all. Instead, just engage with what he’s bringing to the table, and focus on being positive. If you can have a positive conversation about the real reasons your relationship fell apart, it brings you one step closer to getting back together.
5. He’s Being Secretive About His Dating Life
Obviously, some people are just more withdrawn and private than others. But one of the biggest reasons that he would hide his current dating life from you is if he wants to get back together with you eventually.
It’s not a guaranteed sign he wants you back, but taken with other signs, him hiding his dating life from you is a positive development for your prospects of reconciling with him. However, if he’s not dating anyone at all, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s waiting to get back together with you – it might mean he just wants to be single for a while.
Plus, even if he is dating someone, it might just be a rebound relationship – not the real thing. For more information on what is and isn’t a rebound relationship, you can read my article here.
How Should You Respond?
Simple. Stay out of his life, and don’t try to pry or snoop into what he’s doing.
That means avoiding his social media, and definitely never trying to “accidentally” bump into him, while he’s on a date or otherwise. There are plenty of things you can be doing while you’re recovering from your breakup (like the no contact rule) to give you a better chance of getting back together with him – stalking him is not one of them.
I hope this article helped you understand the signs to look for that your ex wants you back. I just want to ask you one more question: Do you want your ex back? If so, you need to read about this secret formula to get your ex back in your arms for good. This will reveal how to not only get him back, but get him to see you as “the one” and keep him for good. You don’t want to miss this and miss your chance with him forever, read this now: Do You Want Your Ex Back? Use This To Get Them Back…
By the way, here’s the quiz from earlier that tells you what your chances are of getting back together with your ex, in case you missed it before.
Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?
The Top Signs Your Ex Wants You Back
- Reminiscing with you about good memories
- Working on himself
- He brings up the future with you
- Going over the things that lead to your breakup
- He’s being secretive about his dating life