The Top Reasons Why Your Ex May Be Staying in Contact With You

The Top Reasons Why Your Ex May Be Staying in Contact With You

If you’ve long since split up your ex-boyfriend but you’re wondering why he’s still staying in contact with you then there may be more to it than meets the eye.

Both guys and girls can choose to stay in touch with their ex’s for a variety of reasons. However, here are the most common reasons that guys want to keep in touch with their ex-girlfriends.

more: Exactly How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Why He’s Staying In Contact With You

They’re Still in Love With You

This is one of the most common reasons that a guy stays in contact with his ex-girlfriend. If this is the case, then the guy most likely is aware of his feelings for you, but he may not want to admit it for fear of rejection or embarrassment. But the chances are that if this is his reason, then he is secretly holding out for things to change for you to take him back.

Watch his behaviour and actions around you, especially if there are other guys around or if you mention to him about a guy that you are dating. Does he become easily agitated or does his demeanour and actions change in any way? If so then it could mean that he is still holding a torch for you.

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can get your ex back or if he’s gone for good…

They’re Still Attracted to You

Similar to the ex that is still in love with you, he may not be totally head-over-heels, but he still finds you hot. So why would he still stay in contact with you? The reason is simple; the majority of guys who say they remain in contact with their ex-girlfriends is so that they can have the possibility of hooking up with you again in the future when either you or they become single.

more: How To Respond To Your Ex If He Texts You

This is no big secret, many women have also said that they do the same. No one likes to be single so if and when that time comes around, both men and women say that they would consider giving their ex a call for a close encounter.

However, this, of course, can get messy and stir up a lot of emotion from the past. If you’re considering hooking up with your ex, then consider carefully the reasons for the breakup and how things ended between you the two. Secondly, it is also important to consider how you or he would take it if things didn’t work out for the best, again.

If you are wanting to get back together with your ex boyfriend then you can read our ‘How to win him back and make him want you’ article here.

You Have the Same Friend Group

Sharing the same friend group can be a hard one for most couples when they break up if this is their situation. Having the same friend group can make it tough to get over an ex because they are at constant risk of running into them or at least hearing all about what they’re up to through mutual friends.

However, when this awkward time has passed, many ex-couples find that they can and would like to continue being friends if they share the same friend group.

more: Everything You Need To Know About The No Contact Rule

So, remaining friends with your ex in this situation does not necessarily mean that he still has feelings for you or is interested in getting back together, so try not to read too much into things.

If you have finished on good terms with your ex and the romantic feelings, have truly passed on both sides then your ex may actually become quite a close buddy.

The Sex Was Great, and He Hasn’t Forgotten

No matter how awful a relationship may have been, if the sex was great between the two of you, then your ex will definitely remember it!

Guys are very visual and will often recall great encounters with their ex when they are thinking of you.

If you really showed him a good time, then he may not be completely willing to let you go and may want to stay in touch in case the chance comes up again.

Does he only seem to text you late at night or is he somewhat suggestive in his language when he’s talking with you? If so, then these are good signs of his intentions.

If you’re not into the late night booty call thing then letting him know subtly that it’s not gonna happen is the kindest thing you can do. Once he gets the message then he should leave you alone.

more: How To Tell If Your Ex Boyfriend Still Loves You

If however, you are also up for the same, the firstly consider both your feelings and whether you both could handle getting physical again without the commitment. If he’s quite immature with his feelings or if either one of you is not truly over the other then it may not be a good idea.

He’s a Genuine Nice Guy

Yes, this is possible, gasp! There are actually some genuinely nice guys out there that do care about an ex or two and legitimately want to know how they are getting on.

A lot of women would be surprised to learn that many guys are actually quite sensitive. If you had a good connection with him during your relationship, then the chances are that he may still care about you and want the best for you, even if he is no longer in love or attracted to you.

How does he seem emotionally when he is around you compared to before when you were in a relationship with him? If he was once very affectionate with you when the two of you were together, but is now acting in a more platonic way, then chances are he is not thinking about you in the same way anymore.


Guys will often stay in contact with their ex’s for different reasons, but the chances are that often the reason is that they are still interested in getting together with you in one way or another.

Try not to read too much into it, but be aware of his actions and behaviours when he is around you.

If you’re not feeling an intimate reunion with him, then let him know subtly in a way that won’t hurt his feelings or embarrass him. If however, you are interested in pursuing things with him then consider your feelings closely first and how he may react if things don’t go smoothly between you.

Article contributed by the American Dating Society at

Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Can You Get Your Ex Back” Quiz right now and find out if you can ever get him back or if he’s gone for good…

Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?

In summary…

These Are The Biggest Reasons Your Ex May Be Staying In Contact

  • They’re still attracted to you
  • You have the same friend group
  • The sex was great, and he hasn’t forgotten
  • He’s a genuinely nice guy

reasons your ex may be staying in contact

37 comments… add one
  • JMB November 16, 2021, 11:50 pm

    my ex is married but he is persistent, ive blocked him on fb, but just recently, he istill message me on instagram, even if he doesnt have an account in instagram, i am a widow, what will i do
    can anybody answer me please, thank you

  • Sue September 3, 2021, 3:10 am

    I keep in touch with several ex b/f’s from 40 years ago. They reached out to me. They have supposedly told their wives about me. One apologized for something he did years ago. And the other one well I can’t quite be sure. He says he still loves me and when I see him I usually meet his wife at the time. (married 5 times) He hugs me tightly. I live 1,300 miles of him. I just tell me Life just got in the way that is why we are never together thru the years. I have been divorced for 35 years so he could of had his chance. He didn’t know where I was most of the time. But it’s nice to know someone holds a torch for me still. I talk to him rarely but why bother.

  • Mary August 26, 2021, 11:01 pm

    My ex left while on drugs & cheated with a younger girl. She lied to him & told him she was pregnant. So he did the right thing & married her & both got clean. Then they moved back to their area. She got back on drugs, cheated & lied to him. The same way he did me. He is back asking for another chance. But he is in love with her no matter what.

  • Karen November 17, 2020, 1:13 pm

    I have been married 14 years I accused him of cheating he packed and left me he says he still loves me but doesn’t want the marriage what do I do it’s been 5 months since the split we speak most days and text

    • Pizzle March 4, 2021, 2:04 pm

      I’d be honest with you. He still loves you, he may have opened himself to dating other people but most importantly he has given up on things he complains about realizing usd never change and hiss peace of mind is more paramount. The key lies somewhere in my comments. But uv gata think can u deal with his cheating tho if he really is. Ca you both create an atmosphere of openness wld you trust him if he was wholly partially or not open?

  • Catherine September 8, 2019, 9:34 am

    Coming from the perspective of the girlfriend of a guy who still texts his ex’s… it’s f’in weird. He’s been warned. I’m done.

  • Me September 6, 2017, 1:50 pm

    Yeah this is great, but why do women stay in contact, it’s not always men

  • maine October 24, 2016, 1:15 pm

    yeah i’m sure men have plan hooking up with you again in the future when they’re staying contact with you…

  • margery October 18, 2016, 3:45 pm

    i get the chills thinking he’s still into me somehow! <3

  • ana October 17, 2016, 5:22 pm

    this is so true, had the same experience with my ex…

  • marie October 12, 2016, 1:33 pm

    thanks to this article, now i understand why my ex is still texting and calling me.

  • carmella October 11, 2016, 3:15 pm

    i agree, there are still some nice guys out there… he may still care about you and want the best for you, even if he is no longer in love or attracted to you. :(

  • beth October 10, 2016, 2:31 pm

    this is so true! having the same friend group can make it tough to get over my ex! :(

  • vivian October 6, 2016, 10:58 pm

    i love that my ex is still attracted to me. i just hope our relationship develops into something deeper and may take it to the next level should we decide on getting back together.

  • larissa October 5, 2016, 3:01 pm

    my ex did this and luckily we were better and bolder to make the best decision of getting back together. now, we’re happier than ever.

  • greta October 4, 2016, 7:48 pm

    hope it’s not just for the sex! (:

  • mylene October 3, 2016, 12:23 pm

    my ex kept in contact w/ me for a while after the break up and told me he wanted to try working it out again. but then i was able to move on so we never really made it, and i am happy now. some things are just not meant to be.

  • kirsten September 29, 2016, 12:48 pm

    my ex and i had a very difficult time coping with the breakup because we had the same group of friends. we needed space but when we needed our friends or just hang out, we would see each other and can’t help but talk to each other somehow. it was tough.

  • carissa September 28, 2016, 11:31 am

    i would rather he’s attracted to me or still in love w/ me instead of just the sex

  • caress September 26, 2016, 12:20 pm

    my partner and i broke up once but then stayed in contact because of the love that was still inside of us..glad we decided to give it another shot <3

  • ava September 22, 2016, 3:32 pm

    i agree with this article, my ex is exactly showing the same thing.

  • venus September 21, 2016, 8:20 pm

    this article is so true! it really helped me.

  • molly September 20, 2016, 3:05 pm

    i would love it if he was still having feelings for me and not just for the unforgettable sex.

  • cybosh September 20, 2016, 1:33 pm

    My ex cheated me with his current girlfriend but still contact me today. Is it rebound relationship or they are serious?

  • jennifer September 19, 2016, 7:06 pm

    i have had this experience before and it made me think a lot about getting back with my ex. he apologised for how he treated me, now he makes sure i’m happy and feel secure in our relationship

  • janna September 16, 2016, 1:06 pm

    women tend to do these things also. i once had difficulty moving on from my ex and i can’t help but stay in contact

  • jacky September 13, 2016, 1:27 pm

    my ex started staying in contact with me after our breakup, he eventually admitted that he was still attracted to me. i decided to give it another shot but soon failed

  • annaliz September 12, 2016, 1:12 pm

    I’m hoping he still loves me! <3

  • rachelle September 9, 2016, 1:07 pm

    i once confronted an ex who wouldn’t stop contacting me after our breakup..he said he still loves me but could not commit to the relationship. i decided not to see him and told him not to contact me anymore. i didn’t want to be like a booty call later on.

  • teens September 8, 2016, 12:30 pm

    if i knew he’s genuinely a good person then it’s totally ok with me. i wouldn’t want it if it’s just for the sex

  • clarette September 7, 2016, 6:33 pm

    my ex did this but we didn’t last eventually. i felt like i was again tied up to an even worse kind of relationship knowing that we already called it quits. we saw each other did things couples did but then i was on the losing end bec there was really no label to it and he was open to other things, even women.

  • atalia September 6, 2016, 8:35 pm

    ladies, you should know better! if you feel like he’s just staying in contact for the sex, don’t ever entertain him and just move on. you will only end up feeling used.

  • Jessica age 19 September 3, 2016, 11:38 pm

    this has helped me some.. my ex broke my heart im trying to get over it bc of this i somewhat have thanks

  • lily September 3, 2016, 12:59 am

    these are all true! ladies, make sure you read the signs correctly.

  • verna September 1, 2016, 6:29 pm

    if this ever happens to me, i hope it’s not just about the sex.

  • collina August 31, 2016, 7:48 pm

    this is so nice..i love how you put into words what you think and believe in. they’re really very helpful to women like me. keep it up! (:

  • becca August 30, 2016, 11:49 pm

    this is so true, could really relate to it! <3

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