There are ups and downs in every relationship, which is but natural, yet while some of the dips are just a phase that’s left behind easily, there are others that leave scars. So, some habits of yours can definitely be insidious for relationships. Here are a few of them that are especially damaging – if you are that way inclined, maybe it’s worth your while to try and shake them off for the sake of a healthy relationship.
Spying
Really, you won’t go far without trust. We’re all immersed in communication; why should you stay watchful in case your partner is being unfaithful? You ought to feel that he’s in love with you and not interested in hooking up with someone else. Those having a habit of picking up your partner’s phone when lying unattended in order to look who calls and texts him, it’s not innocent curiosity but willful snooping. And a sad lack of trust. This kind of spying will never go down well with men, believe me when I tell you.
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Comparing
It’s probably only human to compare and juxtapose, but you’d do good to avoid it. Comparing your man with an onscreen chunk of a hero once for a joke is all right; drawing comparisons between him and your ex is not so good, and if you make a habit of it, it is downright detrimental. If comparisons just slip off your tongue and you value your present relationship, your man will be only getting testier seeing that you prefer others to him. This is a very disrupting thing to do.
Losing yourself in a relationship
Men do appreciate when a woman is adaptable and flexible, but not to the point when it looks as if she was forgetting about herself completely. Your friends, your pastimes, your commitments remain with you and sometimes take you away from your man – it’s perfectly understandable. However important your man is for you, he won’t want to take over some aspects of your life, you are expected to have them for your own. Your love won’t suffer from it, but it can from mindless clinging.
Feeding your man lies
I’m sure you know that, but a bit of a timely reminder always comes in handy. We are so accustomed to lying that we grew to disregard it – but piling up lies can sure undermine your mutual trust. While some lies are really harmless, don’t make a habit of it – on the contrary, make a point of building your relationship on honesty and openness, clear it of white lies as much as you can. Both of you will feel better for that!
Harboring grudges
As two people get closer to each other, they observe more and more imperfections. You didn’t expect your s.o. to be ideally suited to you, yet there come up things that do cramp your style. It can be hard to wink at some behaviors, but it’s just one of these strains any relationship imposes on you time and time again. When what any of you does hurts the other, have it out, talk it over and leave it behind. No reason in keeping your anger smoldering for weeks and months – far better to forgive, for both of you.
Chalking up score
If you haven’t learned to live down your anger, you will probably begin to count and balance the hurts. Now, that must be out of the question altogether. While arguing and bickering may not wear the relationship thin, the desire to come out a winner surely will. In a strong union, arguments are about meeting one another halfway, not about winning or losing. I’m sure you don’t want your love turn to fight with the passing of time together. Talk issues over, don’t chalk them up.
Making your feelings routine
We know that we are apt to take our loved ones for granted. Having agreed that you’re in love and you’re a couple, you could dispose with reminding your s.o. (and yourself!) how good you feel with them around. Tell your man you love him, show him your appreciation, pay attention to him, and you will see your bond growing stronger. Make a gift to you and your partner of this satisfying feeling!
Of course, it’s far from being a complete list of issues that can make a good relationship collapse. Your own ideas on that are welcome.
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In summary…
The Worst Sins That Ruin A Relationship
- Spying
- Comparing
- Losing yourself in a relationship
- Feeding your man lies
- Harboring grudges
- Chalking up score
- Making your feelings routine
About the Author
Daria Kurilko is the founder, writer and editor of Geniusbeauty.com – an online guide for women about beauty, health and relationships. She has a master’s degree in sociology with a number of scientific publications to her credit and extensive experience in marketing and PR. Daria, who currently lives in Wiesbaden, Germany, is also a loving mother and wife. Since 2007 she enjoys sharing her experiences and broad knowledge about all things fashion, nutrition and lifestyle with her readers.
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I dated a guy one time that compared me to each of his old girlfriends and that was an insult to me.
I get coffee every morning from my b/f and he says the same thing each day, “how did you sleep”. Is that considered something that might ruin the relationship?
It comes down to being able to give up a little for the person that you love. As long as you can resist the things that you have on this list, the relationship bond should be good.
All of these things bring back what a toxic relationship means to me. each of them is at a different level and can only cause more of an issue the longer they go unchecked.
I have seen couples fight over whatever and then act like they “won”. NOBODY wins when you are fighting all the time.
Any lady that is going to compare her man to one she sees on TV, has other issues.
You would not think that losing yourself in a relationship is a bad thing, BUT if you are the only one doing it, things will be a bit lopsided.
These are pretty bad. If you notice any of them happening in your relationship, then you need to take a step back and reassess where you are in that relationship. Too many people get caught up in quick love that they do not realize what they are really getting into.
I have been in relationships like this. It is not a good thing!
NO it is not. Can be a very hard thing to deal with.
Some of these are unforgivable. Since most of them deal with trust, that can turn into something bad quickly.
It looks like ruining a relationship can be a very easy thing to do. Take it easy and do the right thing, all the time!
Easier said than done, right?
Even if a man wants to get something out of my handbag or something like that, I feel like he is spying. He might not be, but I have a hard time with trust these days and that is not a good thing, right?
Its your property, he should not feel like he has access to that.
I would have to show this to my sister. I think she is dealing with things like this right now with her b/f. She just does not want to admit it.
Her denial might be a bad thing here.
Feeding your man lies? I think any time there is a lie in a relationship it is not going to end well.
Lies will only breed the worst type of relationship that you know you do NOT want to be in.
Spying on a person is never a good thing. There is nothing that you will find that is going to make you feel better about ANYTHING.
I hate guys that have to spy on everything.
These “sins” are so over the top. If I was doing any of these I would feel like a real creeper!
This is good learning for people that are just getting started in a relationship.
They are good rules to live by, that is for sure.
When I was younger, it was all about having one up on my man. I look back now and realize that was quite immature.
I know a guy that was holding a grudge against his ex for so long. The issue was that he was with ME. That did not make for a very good time dating.
Oh man, these are bad things for sure. I would NOT want to be anywhere near a relationship that has to do with things like this.
Yes, they are bad, but I am not sure they are that common. Do you think they are?
All of these lead to an ending to your relationship. It might not be right away, but as they pile up, you are going to find yourself looking back on what a waste of time it was.
Great article. Keeping an eye open for things like this is a very important thing to do if you want to have a long lasting relationship.
Comparing your partner to one that you had in the past is something that I try never to do.
I have never done that either. What good can come from it?
Relationships these days are full of sin. These are all good points and ones we should all try to avoid, but can we avoid them ALL?
yes they are, and they are not easy to avoid.
Yeah, I always thought spying was a little immature. If you want to know something, why are you not just asking me about it?