So he stopped calling, never called in the first place or pretty much has had on and off, weird calling patterns for the entire time you’ve known him.
You’re trying not to over-analyze what it means or doesn’t mean that he isn’t calling you but there is this nagging voice inside your head harassing you to find out the truth.
You might even bring this issue up to your female friends, asking their advice and trying to get some clarity into why this is so confusing and how to get to the bottom of it once and for all.
First off all, let me just say… take a deep breathe and count to ten for a second. I promise you, everything is going to be OK.
I am not saying this to be rude or make an assumption; I just know how truly overwhelming it can be when you are in this kind of a position, wanting someone to do something that means something to you only to be left hanging, kind of in this limbo of trying to get an understanding of what is going on and where to go from here.
more: 9 Signs He’s Really Not That Into You
Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…
The key question here is, what stage of the relationship are you in?
If You’re In The Beginning Stages Of A Relationship
If this is the beginning stages where things are flirty, fun and not defined at all… maybe you just met, went on a great first date (or so you thought) and then of course since then even though he said he would call he has not once.
Or maybe you have been sort of seeing each other for a bit but never made things official and all of a sudden he has stopped calling you completely and even worse, might even be ignoring your calls!
You might be sitting there trying to figure out what on earth is going on, what does his lack of calling mean?
It depends. First of all, if he has not called and you just met or you are not that close yet, this could mean that he either forget, wants to play hard to get, is sort of interested but not interested enough to make the effort or is simply not interested and assumes you will get the hint.
But if you have gone out of your way to call him… possibly even multiple times… and he has not even called you back and it has been a while since you made the call (since he could not be calling back because he is busy not necessarily ignoring you on purpose).
more: What Do A Guy’s Excuses Really Mean?
But if he has not called you back and a lot of time has gone by, the likely scenario is that he is simply not interested in anything with you, at least in a romantic sense. This is a hard but necessary truth to accept and to really understand. There is no use in holding onto false hope when things are not going to magically change.
You cannot force him to want to call you and even if you could, why would you want to? You should leave yourself open for someone who naturally is inclined to call you and who makes you feel special for who you are, without you having to try so hard and walk on eggshells always feeling as if you are doing something wrong yet not being able to figure out what exactly it is that he wants.
Now on the other hand, if you think you hit it off and he said he would call but never did and you have not called him… you can either leave it and not call, wait and see if he does and in the meantime stop obsessing over it (because obsessing will only drive you crazy, make matters worse and end up creating needy behavior, which is an instant turnoff and something you definitely do not want to have happen) or you can call him up yourself. Now if you decide to call yourself here is a rule of thumb: call expecting nothing.
Even if he does not answer and you never speak to him again, be OK with this. Even if he answers and is rude, cuts the conversation short and seems indifferent to you.
It means nothing about you as a person. You must go into this fully accepting that an outcome you don’t like could easily happen. If you are OK with this and have accepted it, then you might as well make the call if that is what you want and just see how things are.
more: The Exact Reasons Men Lose Interest And How To Fix It
You never know… when you call he actually might feel dumb for forgetting to call you and the conversation will effortlessly pick up where it left off and he will be enthusiastic and glad that you are easy to talk to and not calling him to yell about why he did not call.
You can go with the natural flow of the conversation and just see where it takes you; if you approach it like this, you make it more likely that he will want to be around you more (and see you again) because you are going to be pleasant and refreshing rather than suffocating and demanding. So you really do not know the outcome unless you call.
In general, if you just met or are in the beginning stages and he is not calling it is normally not the best of signs but is definitely not the worst, unless you have already called him with zero response and total radio silence. If this is the case, move on and focus on men who like you for who and how you are.
If You’re Already In An Established Relationship
Now, another situation where a man’s calling habits come into focus are in relationships. So in a relationship, it is possible that he is simply comfortable with you now and feels no need to call.
What will determine whether his lack of calling is neutral (not good or bad), bad sign or simply a sign that means he is comfortable with what you have and feels no need to call.
more: Tips That Mean He’s Not That Into You
Let’s delve into how often he calls (and whether he blatantly ignores your calls for long periods of time and might not even call you back.) If he is not even calling you back, this could be a problem indicating that he is losing interest in you and not in the mood to tell you how he feels because he does not want to deal with hurting you and is probably conflicted, too, about whether he actually wants to end it or is just going through a weird rut, so he leaves you in this weird limbo.
This situation is hard to deal with, I understand… the best thing you can do is have a real heart to heart with him. Not an accusation-fest, where you go off on him and vent all your frustration about why he hasn’t been calling you, how it means the relationship (or whatever you have) is doomed and how horrible he is for doing this to you, blind sighting you in such a cruel way without even having the guts to tell you the truth).
I could go on and on describing the variety of things women have expressed to me when talking about their relationships and how they deal with a man who stops calling (or in other cases texting, but I have covered texting in so many articles I’m not going to go into that here).
more: Texting Signs That Mean He Doesn’t Like You
Watch The Video: What To Do When He Doesn’t Call (The Real Reasons Why A Guy Isn’t Calling)
The point is… when you have a conversation with him, do not come from a place of blaming but rather one of understanding. Come from a place of listening, without any judgment or expectations of what he should or should not say to you. Do not go in assuming he is not interested anymore.
Assumptions are powerful and self-fulfilling prophecies are scarily real. What I mean is if you assume the worst, you can actually make that specific bad outcome you fear more likely to happen, whereas if you assume the best, you give yourself the best shot of things working out in your favor.
So as I was saying… come to the conversation from the kind of mental state I described and you will be able to truly get some kind of understanding into what is going on with him, what he feels about what you have and where to go from there. This will at least give you clarity.
If he stopped calling because he isn’t interested anymore, at least you will know and not have to sit wondering and waiting. Nothing is worse than wandering, waiting, hoping and wishing.
Nothing is worse than trying to grasp at straws for an answer, for a glimmer of hope that the next phone call is from him only to find it is a random telemarketer trying to sell you some imaginary medical device.
I am rambling but it is to make a point that once you know the truth, you can find true peace and OK-ness. When you find this state of being OK, you will not be focusing on whether a man is or is not calling. You will be able to live your life without living and dying inside each time you hear your ringer go off.
more: A Guy’s Perspective On Why He Isn’t Calling You
If A Guy Doesn’t Call Does That Mean He’s Not Into You?
The goal here should not be to make him call you and convince him to call you… if he is not naturally inclined to make the call, why would you want him to force himself to do something he does not even want to do? If he wants to, great. If he doesn’t, well, it can mean one of two things: 1) he is comfortable in the situation and simply does not feel the need to call as much or at all anymore 2) he has lost interest and can’t figure out the right time and way to tell you.
If you call him and he does not even answer your calls and never returns them, this is a huge indication that he is definitely not into you.
I hope this article helped you understand what it means when a guy doesn’t call, and whether that means he’s not into you or not. It’s a question I get asked a lot, and it’s really important because a lot of the time that a woman thinks a guy isn’t into her, he really is… but she’s unconsciously doing things that make him lose interest and make him pull away. If you’re worried he’s losing interest then chances are he is, and you should read this right now before it’s too late: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…
Well I have been with this guy for a 1+ now , but the way and manner he chats and responds to me since last year December as being so Alarming. He only wants me around him when he feels free at that time . Sometimes I chat him up he won’t reply my chats for a day (sometimes) but I get to notice him online ,at that particular periods of time .Last month I told him he should let me know if he still wants us. I won’t be mad if he tells me Now on how he feels …
Am in a distance relationship. He calls me like 30 times a day and after a month he withdrew and I have asked him questions why and what’s happening to us and he keeps saying he is busy. He is always online chatting on WhatsApp and he doesn’t chat me. What do I do?
Yeah. I’m still searching. Albeit I have a bit of a trust issue now. I guess I’ll get over that. You’d be a farmers wife on a very laid back family own farm. Hmm sorry just dreaming again
If he’s interested, nothing will stop him from calling.
thank you for this article. i hope i could really use your advice and stop being so paranoid.
i just met him a few weeks ago, we started texting and a few times talked on the phone. now, im not sure if it’s only because of the holidays but he hasn’t called me at all. i hope we can do the same. im gonna wait and see if something changes.
i love this article, thanks for the reminders!
this is most probably why. i mean, if he’s really interested then he won’t need to keep you waiting. you don’t even have to wait, he will get in touch with you when he wants to.
i totally agree that you can’t force him to call you and why would you anyway? better leave yourself open to other men you may meet. don’t allow yourself be treated like a doormat.
Thanks, dis helped a lot
thank you for explaining this further. i’m so confused but now i know better. (:
well it really depends on the depth of your relationship. if you used to communicate all the time, there must be something bothering him. better open up to him and be honest
if you’ve been dating for quite some time and you think there’s a big chance you may end well, try to really get his attention and talk to him in person instead of bugging him on the phone.
this is a very helpful topic for a lot of women who get stuck waiting for a man to text/call when the truth is he may never even have the intentions of communicating at all.
you made a very clear point here. thanks for your guidance as always. <3
this is an awesome post as some women really deal w/ this stuff. thanks for always doing your best in helping us out.
we’re still in the “getting to know each other” stage and i sometimes feel like i’m the only one making an effort and reaching out. thanks for this article, i’ll try to analyze our current status and decide if i still want to go on w/ it or not.
i totally agree. whether he calls you or not, it doesn’t make you less of a person. don’t think it is your fault
this article is on point. it really depends on which stage your relationship is in at the moment
if you’ve dated more than once and you usually are on the phone or atleast once a day then suddenly doesn’t call you not even answer your call..maybe try to think about your situation and see the bigger picture.
nothing really worse than waiting and wondering what he feels about you so try to read his actions carefully
if it’s been awhile and you’ve tried reaching out to him then i believe ill consider him not being interested in me so i can just move on and get along w/ other people i might meet and date in the process.
men are too busy with careers and sports..if you know he’s dealing with these stuff, try be more understanding instead
this is something to really ponder on. most of the time we are too eager and we want results w/out really thinking about the situation
everything depends on how he really is as a person. if he’s a busy man and you’re always trying to be on the phone with him, he might really end up just ignoring you. read the signs and try to understand him better.
it all depends on where you both are in the relationship, if there’s even one
yes, it could possibly be because he isn’t that into you. or it could be that he’s just not ready for a serious kind of relationship at the moment
i would definitely keep this in mind if i were in this situation.
i would rather consider him not being into me just so i can move on not feeling left alone. and instead, i could go and meet others and see how things work out.
try to be open for other men instead of waiting for someone who might not even be romantically interested in you.
might as well think of it that way rather than keeping your hopes up and test you don’t even get any response nor a call from him.
the answer may possibly be yes, be ready and make sure you can handle the truth.
well it depends how much days or weeks since he hasn’t called you. if it’s been too long, i need you better move on.
be straightforward and ask him what the problem might be. most men do not really spend time on their phones.
it really depends on the man you are with. but most men do not really have time texting or being on the phone for hours. know your man and you’ll know what to do.