When he doesn’t call for days…
Tell me if you recognize this scenario: you’ve been texting back and forth with a guy and he’s giving you the vibe that he’s majorly into you. Everything is great, until he hits you with sudden silence. For days.
Now, you know this is not necessarily any reason for concern and that it’s not the end of the world that you haven’t talked in a few days, especially if you’re just getting to know each other. But after being hot and heavy for a while, the sudden and unexpected break can hurt… and it can lead to some worried and obsessive thoughts.
Is it something you did?
Did you say something wrong?
Did you upset him somehow?
Does this mean he doesn’t like you anymore?
I know these thoughts have been running through your mind, but it’s important to get a grip. There are several possible reasons for his sudden silence, and none of them are your fault. Here is why he’s probably not texting, and what to do about it!
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out once and for all if he likes you…
MORE: Exactly What To Do If He Hasn’t Texted You In Two Days
Why He’s Not Texting
He Wants You To Text First
Look, not all men are the go-getters we know them to be. Not every guy will be eager to make the first step. Or maybe he’s been making the first step every time and now he wants to test you to see if you want to talk to him as much as he wants to talk to you. What if he stays silent for a few days? Will you ask him what’s up? Will you miss him? Will you care?
If he doesn’t make a peep for a couple of days, go ahead and try to text him casually and see how he’s doing. If he still doesn’t answer, that may be a sign of something else.
MORE: The Real Reasons Men Don’t Text Back: The Ultimate “Do’s and Don’ts” Guide To Texting
He’s Not Glued To His Phone
In the world we live today, where we take our phones to the bathroom with us (really unhygienic, by the way), it’s hard to imagine that someone may not be getting your texts simply because… they don’t have their phone with them and they haven’t been checking it.
Maybe he shuts his phone off over the weekends to give himself some time off, maybe he goes hiking for days at a time and he doesn’t check his phone, or maybe he’s just not that attached to it, in general, and only checks it from time to time. You may not have to take his silence personally.
MORE: If A Guy Doesn’t Call… Does That Mean He’s Not Into You?
He’s Just Busy
Have you considered the possibility that he might just be busy? We all have a million things to do at any given time, and truth be told, he might just not have time to chat. His job factors majorly into this, as well. Does he have a career with crazy-long hours, in a hospital? Does he work weird shifts? Does he work night shifts? That may be coming in between him and his desire to talk to you.
Cut him a little slack and see what happens. Especially if you’ve only just met, there are a million things that can serve as perfectly reasonable explanations for why he isn’t talking to you that much; you just haven’t discovered them yet. Don’t write him off as Not Interested just yet.
MORE: Why Men Pull Away In The Early Stages: How To Get Your New Guy Back
He’s Playing Games
If he’s come across some crappy pick-up artist’s advice, then he may be toying with you and playing hard-to-get in an effort to get you to chase after him and want him more, supposedly because rejection and silence drives you crazy. That’s not only cruel and insulting, it’s also ineffective.
If that is, indeed, what he is doing, then there are a million reasons to just let him be, because this man is not serious about being in a mature, adult, healthy relationship. Cat-and-mouse games are for little boys who do not have the emotional maturity to come out and say that they like you and would like to further explore your connection. Instead, they rely on silly mind games. You’re better off without him. Next!
MORE: When a Guy Doesn’t Text Back: The Real Reasons It Drives You Crazy
He Has A Girlfriend
Pay attention to his absences – does he just stop responding for several days at a time, on a regular basis? Does he only text you at weird hours? Does he block you, only to pretend later that his phone is acting up? That could indicate that there is another girl in the picture, or maybe several, depending on how much of a playboy he is. It might even be a steady girlfriend who is spending time at his place, thus rendering him unable to talk to you.
If you smell a two-timer, it goes without saying that it’s better to stay away, because it won’t end well. But give him a chance to explain first, and don’t accuse him of anything; you can do some subtle fishing for answers, instead, and digging for information on his social media or among his friends.
MORE: 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Men
He’s Just Not That Into You
This is a very likely outcome… and one that you won’t want to hear. But maybe his absence means he just doesn’t like you that much. Or maybe you even misinterpreted his attention. A lot of women have an unfortunate tendency to focus on what a relationship could be, instead of what it is. And when that happens, you start having expectations.
This could turn into a serious relationship, so you expect constant contact. Meanwhile, in his mind, you’re just an attractive girl he’s been talking to, but he knows he’s not looking for anything right now, so he’s not pursuing it further. If you text him once or twice and he’s not replying, especially if you see he’s active on social media, then resign yourself to the idea that it’s not going to happen. He is letting you down easy, so he won’t embarrass you or hurt your feelings.
MORE: Dear Average Male: What Does It Mean When He Doesn’t Text for 3 Days
He’s Away For A Few Days
As much as we rely on our phones, they are not infallible, and once in a while you will encounter the occasional area with spotty reception, no Wi-Fi, etc. And that may be exactly what he is experiencing. Maybe he’s on vacation, on a business trip, away visiting family, out of the country, etc. Wherever he is, he may not be able to reliably contact you, so you’ll have to wait for a few days.
Of course, if you’re far enough into the relationship, he will have hopefully told you that he’s going away, but hey, sometimes things happen unexpectedly. Or maybe you’re still getting to know each other and you’re not yet at the stage where you let each other know about these things. Don’t panic yet.
MORE: What A Guy Is Saying When He Doesn’t Say Anything
What To Do About It
Okay, he has not texted in three days, and you are not the woman to sit around waiting, oh no. You are the type to take matters into your own hands and do something about it. And sure, you can.
But no more, because then you can’t win. If you’ve noticed he’s been absent, you can send a text to say hello and give him a chance to respond. After a few more days of silence, you can send a second one to see what’s up.
However, if you haven’t received an answer at all, then it’s time to stop and face the music. He is probably not busy, and he is probably not having a technology detox. The most likely outcome is that he is either not interested, or he’s flaky. Or he’s taken. No matter what the reason is, the point is that he is not interested, and the only thing you can do is accept it.
In fact, even if he does deign to show up after a few days, if this is a pattern for him, then he is not serious about you, and you deserve someone who is. Instead of being hung up on him, why not keep your heart open for someone who is reliable and won’t keep you waiting? Let this lothario play with someone else’s heart.
This article goes over how his texting habits relate to his interest in you, now in any relationship I’ve found there are 2 pivotal moments that determine if your relationship ends in heartbreak or you get to live happily ever after so it’s vitally important that you take the next step and read this right now, because at some point the man you want is going to ask himself: Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? That answer determines everything… Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…
The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out if he really likes you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out once and for all if he likes you…
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
He wants you to text first
He’s not glued to his phone
He’s just busy
He’s playing games
He has a girlfriend
He’s just not that into you
He’s away for a few days
My name is faith joy my boyfriend stop calling me for some days he stop texting me or even relps my message but is online always does it mean is done with me
I have to start off we decided to be friends but also sleep and do things together like n boy friend n girlfriend do I agreed we would just be friends I noticed at the start he had feelings for me and I have feelings for him but still just friends we would talk for hours calls n text it’s been few months now he texting n calling less we don’t hang as much now I wondering what’s the issue he maybe text good morning of corse I text it back now for two days been very limited on his calls or text I told him I have some feelings for him at the first but maybe that was a no no , I just wish I knew if this is going anywhere or just friends I don’t bug him or text or call unless he makes first step but now just one message then nothing after that maybe I being used and should just move on he a great guy buys me things when together do anything for me when we’re together I guess I’m a fool to think he want more I’m ok with being just friends but we have sex And the Emotional part that comes with it I can’t just turn off , I’m not chasing him or over stepping I’m giving him all the room he needs but I can’t help think what happen no more text or calls like it use to be ..
Me and my boyfriend had an argument which he was at fault, I confronted him and we fought over the issue, I told him I wasn’t interested again which I didn’t mean
I said that out of anger
He haven’t called or texted for days now, I dunno what’s wrong
Does that mean he’s breaking up?
Im going through same even i dont knoww whats wrong i have confusion too. :'(
Ok…stop the BS. i know a woman I really like I met from work. We both have different jobs now. But I have transportation, as she doesn’t (unless its public transportation). I have told this woman I like you, I want to get to know you better. I think you are kinda special. What does she do. Says thank you, call me, and only contacts me when she thinks she needs to do something. Now I do it because I want to help her and I like her. But after all this, she dosen’t text, call or anything unless she wants me to help her. Now Im stuck….because if I tell her I dont want to help you anymore because i want more than friendship and she rejects that and expects me to keep helping her than ” I am the bad guy.” Im supposed to keep helping her while she “uses” the friendship ” to her advantage, and I get nothing. Im in a lose, lose situation. IT SUCKS!
I met this guy online, he tried making us meet but i turned him down because i wasn’t happy that period, because of the way i talked to him, he withdrew but after 1 month, we chatted again and he commended how fun I’m this time around, we met and talked over a drink, for 2 weeks now he has been busy, he do comes to my house to pick me out of his schedule and also drops me at home when i want to go, but the problem is that he rarely calls or replies text prom to his job, saying that he is always busy. He walked as a Gm in a multi restaurant. Anytime i complain he begs me to understand that his job lately stresses him that he don’t return calls, though he admits that he sees them and don’t forget but just always busy or so tired late at night when he will be back. He do tells me his movements when i ask, even when he wants to travel and if he doesn’t, he will still let me know that he didn’t travel.i want him to call me regularly and text me too.. Should i give him time or quit? I have told him that i love him and asked if he loves me too, he said yes. I’m confused
I call BS when a guy says he can’t be reached on a “vacation.” I recently met a guy a few days ago online. He said he was going out of town to LA to spend time with his family for 5 days.
Then he mentioned that he’ll miss talking to me. I said, “Miss our chats? Does your phone not work in LA?”
This dummy responded that his grandmother died recently and his mom asked the family to limit cell phone use during their visit and that they might go camping. Lolol He’s 35 – not a tween!
Like he went to the extreme to explain why I wouldn’t hear from him over the next 5 days. I said, “All good. Enjoy your trip.” And deleted his number. I can always tell how intelligent people are by how stupid they think I am.
What a terrible way to react! Did you not read this article? Some people (really, ALL normal people) like to have their space while on vacation. If I were you, I’d expect people to need space if you can’t stand not having contact for 5 days. Good grief.
I met a guy at a restaurant and we exchanged numbers , he called the very next day ,we spoke for hours on the phone ,it was a fairy-tale kind of situation, we shared so much in common and had the same future goals ….well, did I mention that we live a long distance apart so the only way we could actually interact is via phone-call but he hardly picks up my calls ,I always make the first move when it comes to contacting him and recently I told him I was pregnant and he hasn’t even bothered to come see me ,let his family know about me ,or even ask me how I feel or what I am going through ,I think that he feels like if he continued to ignore the fact that I am pregnant by him then eventually the pregnancy would disappear into thin air,,,,,we had a number of discussions regarding our issues but he has not changed one bit and now its been 5 days since he has ghosted me and I didn’t even bother reaching out either because clearly the writing in on the wall. Since I have a child already and my 1st baby daddy is amazing with our child ,I have decided to get an abortion and forget about this guy coz I will not go through this alone ,I do not have the emotional or financial capacity to take care of myself nor my unborn baby ….. sometimes I feel like I will never find true ,genuine happiness with a person who will love me unconditionally and I just need to make peace with it .
My bf if 6 years started the v silent treatment again 4th time no contact for 19 days i want answers what should i do
Thanks For Your Post It Has Really Helped Me To Know The Characters Of Men
Leave him alone he playing games and doesn’t have the balls to man up. Find someone who is a constant not a in and out like this guy.
I met a guy overseas, he was from the same town as me, so we exchanged numbers, I went back home, he stayed overseas for a few weeks and while he was there our communication was endless, he kept counting down the days til he flies back home & he was every girl’s dream… then he finally arrived back in town and all of a sudden, I hardly hear from him, I’m the one initiating conversation and dropping hints on when are we going to see each other again, but he’s either jetlagged or busy and when I do hear from him it’s usually in the middle of the night! I knew it was too good to be true it’s only been a week since he’s been back but the way he was talking to me when he was overseas was as if he couldn’t wait to see me, now all of a sudden he’s ghosting me. He either has a gf or he’s just all talk! Men… so disappointing!
Well, I read this, over thought it and got super paranoid. My boyfriend didn’t call for hours, and turned out that he dropped his phone in the loo and had no other way of getting in touch. It was something I didn’t even think of. I texted him this morning and his phone had dried out and he could call me. My sleepless night was a pointless exercise.
lol dropped his phone. The loo omg that was funny lol I wouldn’t worry about it tho in all seriousness
My boyfriend never initiate conversation, its always me, and he always respond with short words,this behaviour has been his from the very first time we met, have tried to complain about it,even confront him ,but all the same, im tired of initiating conversation, have been serously ill in two ocassions where i havent been alble to contact him for nearly two weeks,he never check on me… last week we had argurment over the same matter.. i apologise,we talked abit ,now been three days he hasnt contact. Im nolonger going to contact him anymore,cant be with a heartles carefree guy.
Why are you doing this to yourself? A relationship is made up of two people. The fact that he doesn’t reach out to you shows he doesn’t think and care about you. He doesn’t value you enough to chase you. You are the catch here not him. He shld be the one chasing you not the other way round. He is probably giving attention to someone he truly loves and care for. Do yourself a favor and move on from him. That silence treatment is actually an answer itself. Actions speaks louder and never apologize to him for telling him what you expect from him.
thank you for sharing your thoughts about men. now i understand their views better. hope you could post more articles like this. very helpful.
let’s face it. men are typically no t glued on their phones. and they’re more focused on work and physical activities, so don’t expect them to always be ready to reply to your texts. but if it’s been days and still no reply, it can be a sign he is done.
for me, a guy is not interested if i don’t hear from him within 24 hours of our first date. not a big deal for me. i am not in a hurry to be in a relationship.
he may just be busy or even away for work. either way, do not panic. do not stalk him or leave creepy text or voice mails. i would give him a week, and if still doesn’t contact me then i’d consider him gone.
now i have some idea why he doesn’t call for days. knowing men, i am sure there are many more reasons!
when a guy you’re hanging out with just suddenly ignores your texts for days, there really aren’t too many possibilities. most of these are because they can’t handle “serious”. so they just disappear without any goodbyes whatsoever.
this guy thought i was not interested in him the reason why he suddenly goes MIA. i should better give him time to find the courage and also show signs that i am capable of liking him.
if it’s been days, it can be because he’s just too busy. but if it prolongs to weeks, he might be saying he isn’t interested anymore or not at all.
this is exactly the insight that i need. thank you for helping us understand men. your articles are a great help.
a guy that doesn’t call or text for days is totally not worth your time. move on girl, he is not the only guy in the world. you’ll find a worthy one for sure.
ok. this clearly means that he is no longer my boyfriend. it is time for me to dump him. not my loss after all.
he may not be into you and that’s his way of telling. men can be this insensitive but better realize that the sooner than later.
if a man doesn’t call or text you for days, never blame yourself. don’t think that it is your fault. like what the article said, maybe he is just busy or is away for a few days.
he may be just playing games and he’s done with you. i meet a lot of men who are like this and though i learned my lesson the hard way, it’s better knowing late than not knowing at all.
ok guys, don’t ever make an attempt to make us like you if you will just ghost us all of a sudden. we would appreciate it if you can be straightforward. :)
he might not be into you or maybe he has a girlfriend to start with. give him a couple of days more and if he still ignores your call and text, move on. this kind of a man is not what you’re supposed to be with, he isn’t worth your time.
try to find out of he’s just busy trying to make a life or busy playing games. if it’s the latter, do not even sweat it. forget it and move on. a man who hasn’t as much decency to let you know what he’s feeling and would rather just leave you hanging doesn’t deserve your time.
i am so annoyed! i think i am torturing myself for hoping that he would text me back. it has been 4 days now and i still don’t hear anything from him. does this mean that he is not for me?
he may only be too busy with his career or he’s got so much on his plate he can’t do it. but i think it’s best that you ask nicely so you’re not left hanging.
you are right. there are so many random thoughts going on in my mind now because this guy just suddenly stopped texting me. i got my problem solved now thanks for your amazing post.
this may mean a lot of different things. he can just be busy with work or important stuff. but it can also be as bad as having a new interest of even a girlfriend already.
here is my opinion. if a guy doesn’t text or call you for days, he might be genuinely busy or he thinks things are getting too serious for him. i know that these reasons don’t make sense but dudes can be weird sometimes, right?
this is a good read but when you’re in the situation, it is terrible and it makes you go crazy thinking about all sorts of nasty things. it happened to me and i was a mess.
I’m facing the similar situation, I like this guy he seems to like me too then he suddenly stop texting and calling ignoring my texts for days, while he is online it drives me crazy , I’m in mess don’t know what to do
i like this guy and he seems to like me too. i text him but he doesn’t text me! now what?! i don’t want to think that he is one of the heartless bastards out there. i am very much disappointed with myself for hoping that i would get a reply from him.
most of men i know are not really glued to their phones. that might be just the reason why. always ask nicely and don’t overthink at once.
it always drives me crazy when my man doesn’t call for days and i don’t know what can i do about it. this article gave me some insight and it helped me understand men better when it comes to this matter.
if it’s been days and he doesn’t still call or even text you, consider him just playing games. as sad as it can be, you cannot do anything about it if that’s the case.
it is true that once in a while we encounter the occasional area with no Wi-Fi and a spotty connection. this is why i do not panic when my guy doesn’t text or call me. this is one of the things i consider.
i wouldn’t be able to keep calm if this happens to me ever! i couldn’t even handle hours. but thanks for writing this, i will definitely keep this in mind.
i would agree that not every guy will be eager to make the first step. this is the reason why i always make the first move in our relationship. i was always the first to text him, the one who plans everything because he was super busy with his work.