When he doesn’t call for days…
Tell me if you recognize this scenario: you’ve been texting back and forth with a guy and he’s giving you the vibe that he’s majorly into you. Everything is great, until he hits you with sudden silence. For days.
Now, you know this is not necessarily any reason for concern and that it’s not the end of the world that you haven’t talked in a few days, especially if you’re just getting to know each other. But after being hot and heavy for a while, the sudden and unexpected break can hurt… and it can lead to some worried and obsessive thoughts.
Is it something you did?
Did you say something wrong?
Did you upset him somehow?
Does this mean he doesn’t like you anymore?
I know these thoughts have been running through your mind, but it’s important to get a grip. There are several possible reasons for his sudden silence, and none of them are your fault. Here is why he’s probably not texting, and what to do about it!
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Why He’s Not Texting
He Wants You To Text First
Look, not all men are the go-getters we know them to be. Not every guy will be eager to make the first step. Or maybe he’s been making the first step every time and now he wants to test you to see if you want to talk to him as much as he wants to talk to you. What if he stays silent for a few days? Will you ask him what’s up? Will you miss him? Will you care?
If he doesn’t make a peep for a couple of days, go ahead and try to text him casually and see how he’s doing. If he still doesn’t answer, that may be a sign of something else.
He’s Not Glued To His Phone
In the world we live today, where we take our phones to the bathroom with us (really unhygienic, by the way), it’s hard to imagine that someone may not be getting your texts simply because… they don’t have their phone with them and they haven’t been checking it.
Maybe he shuts his phone off over the weekends to give himself some time off, maybe he goes hiking for days at a time and he doesn’t check his phone, or maybe he’s just not that attached to it, in general, and only checks it from time to time. You may not have to take his silence personally.
He’s Just Busy
Have you considered the possibility that he might just be busy? We all have a million things to do at any given time, and truth be told, he might just not have time to chat. His job factors majorly into this, as well. Does he have a career with crazy-long hours, in a hospital? Does he work weird shifts? Does he work night shifts? That may be coming in between him and his desire to talk to you.
Cut him a little slack and see what happens. Especially if you’ve only just met, there are a million things that can serve as perfectly reasonable explanations for why he isn’t talking to you that much; you just haven’t discovered them yet. Don’t write him off as Not Interested just yet.
He’s Playing Games
If he’s come across some crappy pick-up artist’s advice, then he may be toying with you and playing hard-to-get in an effort to get you to chase after him and want him more, supposedly because rejection and silence drives you crazy. That’s not only cruel and insulting, it’s also ineffective.
If that is, indeed, what he is doing, then there are a million reasons to just let him be, because this man is not serious about being in a mature, adult, healthy relationship. Cat-and-mouse games are for little boys who do not have the emotional maturity to come out and say that they like you and would like to further explore your connection. Instead, they rely on silly mind games. You’re better off without him. Next!
He Has A Girlfriend
Pay attention to his absences – does he just stop responding for several days at a time, on a regular basis? Does he only text you at weird hours? Does he block you, only to pretend later that his phone is acting up? That could indicate that there is another girl in the picture, or maybe several, depending on how much of a playboy he is. It might even be a steady girlfriend who is spending time at his place, thus rendering him unable to talk to you.
If you smell a two-timer, it goes without saying that it’s better to stay away, because it won’t end well. But give him a chance to explain first, and don’t accuse him of anything; you can do some subtle fishing for answers, instead, and digging for information on his social media or among his friends.
He’s Just Not That Into You
This is a very likely outcome… and one that you won’t want to hear. But maybe his absence means he just doesn’t like you that much. Or maybe you even misinterpreted his attention. A lot of women have an unfortunate tendency to focus on what a relationship could be, instead of what it is. And when that happens, you start having expectations.
This could turn into a serious relationship, so you expect constant contact. Meanwhile, in his mind, you’re just an attractive girl he’s been talking to, but he knows he’s not looking for anything right now, so he’s not pursuing it further. If you text him once or twice and he’s not replying, especially if you see he’s active on social media, then resign yourself to the idea that it’s not going to happen. He is letting you down easy, so he won’t embarrass you or hurt your feelings.
He’s Away For A Few Days
As much as we rely on our phones, they are not infallible, and once in a while you will encounter the occasional area with spotty reception, no Wi-Fi, etc. And that may be exactly what he is experiencing. Maybe he’s on vacation, on a business trip, away visiting family, out of the country, etc. Wherever he is, he may not be able to reliably contact you, so you’ll have to wait for a few days.
Of course, if you’re far enough into the relationship, he will have hopefully told you that he’s going away, but hey, sometimes things happen unexpectedly. Or maybe you’re still getting to know each other and you’re not yet at the stage where you let each other know about these things. Don’t panic yet.
What To Do About It
Okay, he has not texted in three days, and you are not the woman to sit around waiting, oh no. You are the type to take matters into your own hands and do something about it. And sure, you can.
But no more, because then you can’t win. If you’ve noticed he’s been absent, you can send a text to say hello and give him a chance to respond. After a few more days of silence, you can send a second one to see what’s up.
However, if you haven’t received an answer at all, then it’s time to stop and face the music. He is probably not busy, and he is probably not having a technology detox. The most likely outcome is that he is either not interested, or he’s flaky. Or he’s taken. No matter what the reason is, the point is that he is not interested, and the only thing you can do is accept it.
In fact, even if he does deign to show up after a few days, if this is a pattern for him, then he is not serious about you, and you deserve someone who is. Instead of being hung up on him, why not keep your heart open for someone who is reliable and won’t keep you waiting? Let this lothario play with someone else’s heart.
This article goes over how his texting habits relate to his interest in you, now in any relationship I’ve found there are 2 pivotal moments that determine if your relationship ends in heartbreak or you get to live happily ever after so it’s vitally important that you take the next step and read this right now, because at some point the man you want is going to ask himself: Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? That answer determines everything… Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…
The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out if he really likes you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out once and for all if he likes you…
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
He wants you to text first
He’s not glued to his phone
He’s just busy
He’s playing games
He has a girlfriend
He’s just not that into you
He’s away for a few days