Raise your hand if you’ve ever been told the best way to get a guy to chase you is to ignore him.
Unfortunately, this terrible advice is all over the place. There are tons of articles out there claiming that the best thing to do is ignore a guy and he’ll come running. This might work once but it’s a manipulation tactic that eventually always backfires.
It just doesn’t make sense. “Ignore him to get his attention”. Um… most guys are not even going to notice in the first place.
If you’re following this advice, you may be destroying your love life and risking forever being confused and depressed about love. How to make him chase you is such a big topic that we must address it once and for all.
I’ll give you the truth about how to make a guy want you the only way that actually works.
When you don’t know the psychology behind the chase, and instead do things that most love advice videos and articles suggest (like “how to ignore a man and make him want you”), you make it 100% certain the man won’t chase you.
Even worse, you will never even know what you’re doing wrong.
Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
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Don’t worry because I will reveal the number one way to make a guy chase you so that you are in the position of power and control. The answer to this problem has been requested so many times, we need to address what a guy thinks when you ignore him.
You might be thinking, “Ok, so guys just like to chase all the time. I need to lead him on a chase.”
Not exactly…. men do not like to be smothered which is why giving a man the room to chase you may seem like the right move to make.
The problem is that most women make mistake of trying hard to impress a guy they’re interested in. After they hit it off with a guy they start thinking, “What can I do to make him like me more and make sure he stays interested?”
This mentality is rooted in the idea of “what can I do to impress him?
Why? Because men sense this eager desperate need to impress and it turns them off immediately.You aren’t fooling anyone.
You may think you’re being sly and maybe it seems like it works because he responds to something you did trying to be the girl you think he wants. Ultimately, it doesn’t last because men can sense when you’re being fake to them.
You start to give off a desperate fake vibe which pushes him away. The more he pulls away, the more you are going to feel the need to win him back. It’s a lose-lose situation.
Watch The Video: How to Ignore A Guy and Leave Him Chasing You
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. You see, it’s not about impressing him. It’s actually about discovering him and being curious. Women fall into this trap of “Oh, I have to trick him to get him interested and keep him chasing me.” This is not true at all!
A lot of bad love advice, relationship tips and dating tips promise delusional results that center around “How to ignore a guy to make him want you!What happens when you ignore a man?How to ignore a guy and get his attention!”
This doesn’t work and it leads you to playing games that will inevitably turn a guy off and make him run for the hills instead of into your open arms.
Real, solid relationships don’t happen by trickery. They just don’t no matter what Cosmopolitan Magazine is trying to sell you on this month.
The question to ask yourself is, “Am I trying to trick him in order to get him to date me? Am I going out of my way to trap him in some way?”
If the answer is yes, you’re not on the right track.
What does make an impression then? How do you grab a guy’s attention if it’s not by ignoring him?
Pay Attention To Him (Not Where You’d Like Things To Go)
It’s as simple as you being super present and there in the moment with him, giving him your full attention.
Ironically, the thing that will impress a guy is that you’re genuinely curious and engaged. You are actually there in the moment and you’re showing that you want to discover more about him and get to know him on a deeper level.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you kiss his butt and agree with everything he says for the sake of impressing him because it won’t. It’s not about agreeing with everything he says or not having opposing opinions.
Women frequently sabotage themselves by trying to be “cool” and “edgy” by fighting back with their words. They think that disagreeing with a guy or having an attitude will show that they’re tough and on his level.
This couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s not about being rude or showing off. These are just more traps you fall into trying too hard to impress him.
If you don’t find the conversation or topic interesting, just let it go and don’t try to engage in a negative way. You don’t have to argue, be rude, or show off. Instead, engage it in a way that is interesting to you or that you can be curious and keep the conversation flowing.
Have Your Own Happy, Full Life (And It Will Make You More Attractive)
Just as he has things in his life that make him interesting, you should have your own life going on. Focus on doing the things that make you happy and that you’re interested in.
Relationships aren’t there to make you happy. You should never be in the mindset of “When I have a relationship, then I will be happy.” Instead, you bring happiness to a relationship and it reflects that happiness back to you. When you are emotionally self-sufficient, it makes it possible to have fun with him instead of needing him to make you happy.
With that said, living your own life leads me to my next point: the importance of giving him space.
Give Him Space (So Both Of You Can Recharge Your Batteries)
If you’re constantly contacting him, getting in his space, and not giving him a chance to miss you, it interrupts the process of building feelings for you and a relationship. He needs a chance to recharge his batteries while you recharge yours. It allows you to show up fresh with new experiences, things to talk about, etc.
When you’re giving each other space, it’s a great time to ask yourself what you like about him rather than “does he like me?”. It puts you in a position of seeing whether there’s actual potential there or if you’re coming from a needy place of having to have a guy to validate you.
Be Single Until You’re Not (Don’t Act Like His Girlfriend Until You Are)
With all of that said, it’s important that you remain and act single until he locks you down. It’s as simple as you are either single or taken. If you act like a girlfriend to him before he’s committed to you, he has no reason to make you his girlfriend because you’re already giving him everything without him having to commit or make the same effort.
A man commits to a woman he knows he will lose if he doesn’t make the effort. You have to give him the space to act on his feelings for you and make the move to lock you down. Otherwise you’re moving on to someone else. This is why it’s so important to keep your options open.
The Big Truth About What Makes Him Chase You (And Choose You)
This is the only way to reliably make a man chase you and if he doesn’t chase you he never would have anyway. Sometimes it’s just not a good match and that’s ok. It’s better to know sooner and up front than waste months trying to play games and trap him into pursuing you.
If you follow the steps, you put yourself in a great position to naturally attract a guy who will fall head over heels in love with you.
- Don’t try to impress (by pretending to like something you don’t, putting on a fake cool-girl act, or trying to get him interested again by ignoring him, etc.)
- Be self-sufficient and happy on your own (not looking for relationship to make you happy)
- Be present and engaged (ignoring a guy drives him crazy and not in a good way!)
- Focus on having fun in your interactions and being the positive presence in his life
- Be honest with yourself (“Am I having fun? Do I actually like this guy or am I just happy getting attention?”)
Men actually love this energy because it means a woman doesn’t need him at all to fill her with joy or constantly give her attention and validation to make her happy.
It gives it space for a real connection to take root and bloom instead of you trying to make him commit and make him want you through ignoring him or playing mind games. You’re just having fun and continuing to be single until he feels like he could lose you if he doesn’t step up and commit.
This sets the perfect stage for him to reach for you, chase you, and eventually commit to you because he knows he could lose you if he doesn’t. He has to come to that realization himself. You can’t make a lasting, healthy relationship work by trying to trick him into this by ignoring him and putting on an act.
Men are actually addicted to chasing women who don’t try to make men chase them. If you find yourself trying then you’re already losing.
I hope this helps demystify all of the bad “ignoring a guy makes him want you more” advice that’s out there. You’re not ignoring him. You’re just living your life and that is the secret to hooking him like a fish and letting him reel himself in. But I’ve found there are 2 pivotal moments that determine if your relationship ends in heartbreak or you get to live happily ever after. So it’s vitally important that you take the next step and read this right now, because at some point the man you want is going to ask himself: Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? That answer determines everything… Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…
The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
Want to find out if he really likes you? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He Like You” Quiz right now and find out once and for all if he likes you…